On 2007-06-02 21:11:21 +0100, "Vortex" said:

Hi,

I want to settle an argument about the weights (relative and absolute) of
our 2 cats. problem is, how do you accurately weigh a cat in a domestic
situation?

Because of the uncooperative nature of cats the only method I can think of
is a "differential" approach ie:

1. Weigh human
2. Weigh human + cat
3. Subtract the results.

Problem is that our (digital) scales have a resolution of 1lb/0.5kg which is
quite simply inadequate for cat weight measurement with any kind of
accuracy!

Kitchen scales have the resolution but not the range (not also forgetting
the cat cooperation issue).

Any suggestions?

David


First catch your cat.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UAwZKL4_0w&NR=1

On 2 Jun, 21:11, "Vortex" wrote:
Hi,

I want to settle an argument about the weights (relative and absolute) of
our 2 cats. problem is, how do you accurately weigh a cat in a domestic
situation?

Because of the uncooperative nature of cats the only method I can think of
is a "differential" approach ie:

1. Weigh human
2. Weigh human + cat
3. Subtract the results.

Problem is that our (digital) scales have a resolution of 1lb/0.5kg which is
quite simply inadequate for cat weight measurement with any kind of
accuracy!

Kitchen scales have the resolution but not the range (not also forgetting
the cat cooperation issue).

Use a steelyard:

URL:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steelyard_balance

As a good d-i-yer I'm sure you can knock one up yourself.

I'll assume you have a box/cage with handle on top for transporting
the cat/s. You can hang this on the hook of the short end of the
lever. Weight the box/cage first, then put the cat in the cage. The
cat will get bored and settle down eventually.

If you make it yourself, you have the choice of where to put the
fulcrum and what standard weight (high precision) to use on the long
arm.

Regards,

Sid.

On Mon, 4 Jun 2007 21:38:30 UTC, Owain
wrote:

wrote:
I'll assume you have a box/cage with handle on top for transporting
the cat/s.

Most cat servants buy such an apparatus in the vague hope that its use
will be consented to by their master.

You can hang this on the hook of the short end of the
lever. Weight the box/cage first,

ALl very good so far.

then put the cat in the cage.

This is the flaw in your method.

Put cat cage/box on end, with open door upwards. Pick up cat (in
different room) and hold gently, lulling it into false sense of
security. While keeping cat close to you (so it can'r see behind), move
to box and drop cat in, bum first.

Works for me!

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

On 2007-06-05 11:55:10 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:

On Mon, 4 Jun 2007 21:38:30 UTC, Owain
wrote:

wrote:
I'll assume you have a box/cage with handle on top for transporting
the cat/s.

Most cat servants buy such an apparatus in the vague hope that its use
will be consented to by their master.

You can hang this on the hook of the short end of the
lever. Weight the box/cage first,

ALl very good so far.

then put the cat in the cage.

This is the flaw in your method.

Put cat cage/box on end, with open door upwards. Pick up cat (in
different room) and hold gently, lulling it into false sense of
security. While keeping cat close to you (so it can'r see behind), move
to box and drop cat in, bum first.

Works for me!

Have the lacerations healed?

On Tue, 5 Jun 2007 13:52:58 UTC, Andy Hall wrote:

On 2007-06-05 11:55:10 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:

On Mon, 4 Jun 2007 21:38:30 UTC, Owain
wrote:

wrote:
I'll assume you have a box/cage with handle on top for transporting
the cat/s.

Most cat servants buy such an apparatus in the vague hope that its use
will be consented to by their master.

You can hang this on the hook of the short end of the
lever. Weight the box/cage first,

ALl very good so far.

then put the cat in the cage.

This is the flaw in your method.

Put cat cage/box on end, with open door upwards. Pick up cat (in
different room) and hold gently, lulling it into false sense of
security. While keeping cat close to you (so it can'r see behind), move
to box and drop cat in, bum first.

Works for me!

Have the lacerations healed?

It's worked, with several different cats over the years, with no injury
to me at all. Giving pills is another matter...

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

On 2007-06-05 15:59:23 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:

On Tue, 5 Jun 2007 13:52:58 UTC, Andy Hall wrote:

On 2007-06-05 11:55:10 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:
s is the flaw in your method.

Put cat cage/box on end, with open door upwards. Pick up cat (in
different room) and hold gently, lulling it into false sense of
security. While keeping cat close to you (so it can'r see behind), move
to box and drop cat in, bum first.

Works for me!

Have the lacerations healed?

It's worked, with several different cats over the years, with no injury
to me at all. Giving pills is another matter...

Yes. Wrapping cat in a towel can help.

On Tue, 5 Jun 2007 15:55:16 UTC, Andy Hall wrote:

On 2007-06-05 15:59:23 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:

On Tue, 5 Jun 2007 13:52:58 UTC, Andy Hall wrote:

On 2007-06-05 11:55:10 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:
s is the flaw in your method.

Put cat cage/box on end, with open door upwards. Pick up cat (in
different room) and hold gently, lulling it into false sense of
security. While keeping cat close to you (so it can'r see behind), move
to box and drop cat in, bum first.

Works for me!

Have the lacerations healed?

It's worked, with several different cats over the years, with no injury
to me at all. Giving pills is another matter...

Yes. Wrapping cat in a towel can help.

Never works 100%. They always get at least one paw out - somehow. I
think they use hyperspace.

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

In message , Bob Eager
writes
On Tue, 5 Jun 2007 15:55:16 UTC, Andy Hall wrote:

On 2007-06-05 15:59:23 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:

On Tue, 5 Jun 2007 13:52:58 UTC, Andy Hall wrote:

On 2007-06-05 11:55:10 +0100, "Bob Eager" said:
s is the flaw in your method.

Put cat cage/box on end, with open door upwards. Pick up cat (in
different room) and hold gently, lulling it into false sense of
security. While keeping cat close to you (so it can'r see behind), move
to box and drop cat in, bum first.

Works for me!

Have the lacerations healed?

It's worked, with several different cats over the years, with no injury
to me at all. Giving pills is another matter...

Yes. Wrapping cat in a towel can help.

Never works 100%. They always get at least one paw out - somehow. I
think they use hyperspace.

Not to mention the multi-dimensional teeth. Right through the human 3-D
thumbnail.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

"Huge" wrote in message
...
On 2007-06-04, Owain wrote:
wrote:
I'll assume you have a box/cage with handle on top for transporting
the cat/s.

Most cat servants buy such an apparatus in the vague hope that its use
will be consented to by their master.

You can hang this on the hook of the short end of the
lever. Weight the box/cage first,

ALl very good so far.

then put the cat in the cage.

This is the flaw in your method.

The cat will get bored and settle down eventually.

As will you, in the A&E waiting room.

Shoot cat.

Weigh corpse.

Problem solved.

You would need to account for the mass of the bullet, so problem not solved.

Adam

In message , ARWadsworth
writes
You would need to account for the mass of the bullet, so problem not solved.
But much more variable would be the fluid loss from the wound.

Adam

--
Clint Sharp

Clint Sharp wrote:
In message , ARWadsworth
writes
You would need to account for the mass of the bullet, so problem not
solved.
But much more variable would be the fluid loss from the wound.

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or exit wound
or fluid loss.

Now we are getting somewhere :-)


--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
01634 717930
07850 597257

In message , The Medway Handyman
writes
Clint Sharp wrote:
In message , ARWadsworth
writes
You would need to account for the mass of the bullet, so problem not
solved.
But much more variable would be the fluid loss from the wound.

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or exit wound
or fluid loss.
Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Now we are getting somewhere :-)



--
Clint Sharp

Clint Sharp wrote:
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Clint Sharp wrote:
In message ,
ARWadsworth writes
You would need to account for the mass of the bullet, so problem
not solved.
But much more variable would be the fluid loss from the wound.

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.

Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
01634 717930
07850 597257

The Medway Handyman wrote:
Clint Sharp wrote:
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Clint Sharp wrote:
In message ,
ARWadsworth writes
You would need to account for the mass of the bullet, so problem
not solved.
But much more variable would be the fluid loss from the wound.
How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.

Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


Most animals will pee and crap on death.

Our poor old hound did..the only time he ever messed up was when we
brought him back from the vets to bury..

The Natural Philosopher wrote:

The Medway Handyman wrote:

Clint Sharp wrote:

In message , The Medway
Handyman writes

Clint Sharp wrote:

In message ,
ARWadsworth writes

You would need to account for the mass of the bullet, so problem
not solved.

But much more variable would be the fluid loss from the wound.

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.


Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.


Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


Most animals will pee and crap on death.

Our poor old hound did..the only time he ever messed up was when we
brought him back from the vets to bury..

Father in law was found dead in his bed a few years ago and it was up to
me to remove the bedding and put it in the bin.

Earlier, I had gone to scout out the room, only to find him in his death
position. A bit rattled, not much, I went back downstairs to await the
people that would remove his body.

When they arrived and took him away, it was my job to strip out his room
(death by natural causes at the age of 89 was the on site verdict).

What amazed me was that there was no soiling of the bedding. One of his
daughters was keen to add to her collection of bedding and when she saw
me with an arm full of the stuff, she wanted to take it.

I said to her that 'you don't want this, as it is off his bed'. She
jumped a mile and left it.

I always thought that the dead emptied their bowels as their was no
muscle control left. Just goes to show.

Gawd, I wish I was 30 years younger, I wouldn't know about all this :-(


Dave

Dave wrote:

I always thought that the dead emptied their bowels as their was no
muscle control left. Just goes to show.

Presumably depends on how long it's been since said bowels were last
moved, how constipated they'd been previously (very common in the
elderly), etc etc. If there's insufficient intrarectal pressure then
there's no reason for the contents to be expelled when the sphincter
relaxes on death.

(Are we really OT yet for this ng, or still OT-ish?)

David

Lobster wrote:
Dave wrote:

I always thought that the dead emptied their bowels as their was no
muscle control left. Just goes to show.

Presumably depends on how long it's been since said bowels were last
moved, how constipated they'd been previously (very common in the
elderly), etc etc. If there's insufficient intrarectal pressure then
there's no reason for the contents to be expelled when the sphincter
relaxes on death.

(Are we really OT yet for this ng, or still OT-ish?)

David

Well the reason I like this group, is that it is frequented by practical
people seeking real information, and mostly not by people who have no
practical or creative skills, no experience of life, just huge opinions,
mostly of themselves.

DIY pet disposal and DIY death disposal is on topic I reckon.

The Natural Philosopher wrote:

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.

Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


Most animals will pee and crap on death.

OK, so we poison the cat whilst its inside a plastic bag.


--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
01634 717930
07850 597257

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
...
The Natural Philosopher wrote:

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.

Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


Most animals will pee and crap on death.

OK, so we poison the cat whilst its inside a plastic bag.


Make the bag airtight and save on the cost of the poison.

Adam

In message , ARWadsworth
writes

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message ...
The Natural Philosopher wrote:

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.

Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


Most animals will pee and crap on death.

OK, so we poison the cat whilst its inside a plastic bag.


Make the bag airtight and save on the cost of the poison.

Adam

Bloody Schrödinger is never around when you need him...
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

In message , Peter Twydell
writes
Bloody Schrödinger is never around when you need him...
Ahh, but you realise that if you manage to place both cats in
Schrodinger's box you get the best of all worlds, the cats occupy all
possible quantum states, you get no hassle from the RSPCA or the cats
protection league as they can't prove you killed the cat without setting
the cat's alive/dead state themselves by opening the box. Heisenburg
would also have a hand in it, the mere act of measuring the alive/dead
state of the cat could well be enough to actually shift it from one
state to the other... If you bring in philosophy, Sartre perhaps, we
find that the cat doesn't necessarily exist at all, thereby creating the
ideal cat measuring device, the cat (s) are both alive and dead and may
or may not exist, logically following the argument through gives us a
situation where, given enough weighings of the box we get a statistical
spread which should show an even distribution over four possible values,
to whit;

1. No cats.
2. Cat A
3. Cat B
4. Cat A and B

It then becomes a simple matter to open the box when it is in state 2 or
3 and observe which cat is in existence at that point in time. Ideal
state of course, is state 1, where no cats exist in the space time
continuum but this is, I admit, a personal preference.

Getting the bloody animals into the box in the first place is left as an
exercise for the reader, which, I think, is where we came in.
--
Clint Sharp

On Sat, 9 Jun 2007 22:05:12 UTC, Clint Sharp
wrote:

In message , Peter Twydell
writes
Bloody Schr÷dinger is never around when you need him...
Ahh, but you realise that if you manage to place both cats in
Schrodinger's box you get the best of all worlds, the cats occupy all
possible quantum states, you get no hassle from the RSPCA or the cats
protection league as they can't prove you killed the cat without setting
the cat's alive/dead state themselves by opening the box. Heisenburg
would also have a hand in it, the mere act of measuring the alive/dead
state of the cat could well be enough to actually shift it from one
state to the other... If you bring in philosophy, Sartre perhaps, we
find that the cat doesn't necessarily exist at all, thereby creating the
ideal cat measuring device, the cat (s) are both alive and dead and may
or may not exist, logically following the argument through gives us a
situation where, given enough weighings of the box we get a statistical
spread which should show an even distribution over four possible values,
to whit;

1. No cats.
2. Cat A
3. Cat B
4. Cat A and B

It then becomes a simple matter to open the box when it is in state 2 or
3 and observe which cat is in existence at that point in time. Ideal
state of course, is state 1, where no cats exist in the space time
continuum but this is, I admit, a personal preference.

Any attempt to kill the cat and then weigh it in its dead state would,
of course, be inaccurate, as the mass of the soul would not be
counted...

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

ARWadsworth wrote:

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message ...
The Natural Philosopher wrote:

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.

Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


Most animals will pee and crap on death.

OK, so we poison the cat whilst its inside a plastic bag.


Make the bag airtight and save on the cost of the poison.

Nooo! Then we're back to how to get the cat *into* the bag while still
alive...

David

"Lobster" wrote in message
...
ARWadsworth wrote:

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
...
The Natural Philosopher wrote:

How about if you poisoned or electrocuted the cat? No bullet or
exit wound or fluid loss.

Hmm, electrocution, you'd have to get that signed off under part P
though, could be difficult.

Bugger. I thought I had it sorted. Always a snag.


Most animals will pee and crap on death.

OK, so we poison the cat whilst its inside a plastic bag.


Make the bag airtight and save on the cost of the poison.

Nooo! Then we're back to how to get the cat *into* the bag while still
alive...


Go on then, poison it.

Adam

On 2007-06-11 10:04:59 +0100, Huge said:

On 2007-06-09, Bob Eager wrote:

Any attempt to kill the cat and then weigh it in its dead state would,
of course, be inaccurate, as the mass of the soul would not be
counted...

I'm not sure that animals are supposed to have souls.

Besides, this experiment has already been done;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_MacDougall

Are souls in season?

On 2007-06-11 13:17:30 +0100, Huge said:

On 2007-06-11, Andy Hall wrote:
On 2007-06-11 10:04:59 +0100, Huge said:

On 2007-06-09, Bob Eager wrote:

Any attempt to kill the cat and then weigh it in its dead state would,
of course, be inaccurate, as the mass of the soul would not be
counted...

I'm not sure that animals are supposed to have souls.

Besides, this experiment has already been done;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_MacDougall

Are souls in season?

Can non-existent things have a season?

Are souls in season, are souls?

On 2007-06-11 14:54:52 +0100, Huge said:

On 2007-06-11, Andy Hall wrote:
On 2007-06-11 13:17:30 +0100, Huge said:

On 2007-06-11, Andy Hall wrote:
On 2007-06-11 10:04:59 +0100, Huge said:

On 2007-06-09, Bob Eager wrote:

Any attempt to kill the cat and then weigh it in its dead state would,
of course, be inaccurate, as the mass of the soul would not be
counted...

I'm not sure that animals are supposed to have souls.

Besides, this experiment has already been done;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_MacDougall

Are souls in season?

Can non-existent things have a season?

Are souls in season, are souls?

One suspects that arseholes are always in season.

Exactly.