Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking about
technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or another. And
you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game of trumps going all
the time.

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most powerful PC?
best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The list goes on for ever.

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another. Let me explain the
rules:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles, power tools
and garden machines are all valid.

So my piston count is 16 which breaks down as:
Volvo (5), Toyota (4), Chainsaw, Mower, Ancient Flymo, Chainsaw,
Brushcutter, Hedge Cutter, Shredder (7).

The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a
Triumph Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?

+++++++

By the way functional model engines are permissible, as are boat engines.
After much debate we also allowed company car pistons to be included. The
matter of a Mazda RX7 was however never satisfatorily resolved.

"Vortex" wrote in message
.. .
Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking about
technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or another.
And you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game of trumps
going all the time.


Obviously they have no life!

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most powerful PC?
best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The list goes on for
ever.


I feel sorry for people like that, they are often insecure or ill. I bet
most are not married or even have a long term male partner.

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another. Let me explain the
rules:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying
pistons must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles,
power tools and garden machines are all valid.

So my piston count is 16 which breaks down as:
Volvo (5), Toyota (4), Chainsaw, Mower, Ancient Flymo, Chainsaw,
Brushcutter, Hedge Cutter, Shredder (7).

It's sad that you also need to post details here, no one is interested!
Go out and get yourself a girlfriend or boyfriend, whichever you choose.
That will take you mind off always trying to be in competition with others.
It's pointless as you will never have the best.

The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a
Triumph Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?


Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family. You really do
need to get out more! I often wondered which "type" used phone insurance to
upgrade when their friends got a better phone.

Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family. You really do
need to get out more! I often wondered which "type" used phone insurance
to upgrade when their friends got a better phone.


What's your chip count then?

BTW If you can't find any look on your shoulder.

bronco wrote:
"Vortex" wrote in message
.. .
Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking
about technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or
another. And you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game
of trumps going all the time.


Obviously they have no life!

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most
powerful PC? best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The
list goes on for ever.


I feel sorry for people like that, they are often insecure or ill. I
bet most are not married or even have a long term male partner.

Get a grip you sad ****, it's a bit of fun, have you ever heard of fun?


A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the
concept of "Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous
parameter our staff have EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping
one another. Let me explain the rules:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying
pistons must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles,
power tools and garden machines are all valid.

So my piston count is 16 which breaks down as:
Volvo (5), Toyota (4), Chainsaw, Mower, Ancient Flymo, Chainsaw,
Brushcutter, Hedge Cutter, Shredder (7).

It's sad that you also need to post details here, no one is
interested!

You don't speak for anyone but yourself sunbeam.

Go out and get yourself a girlfriend or boyfriend, whichever you
choose. That will take you mind off always trying to be in
competition with others. It's pointless as you will never have the
best.
The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a
Triumph Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?


Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family. You
really do need to get out more! I often wondered which "type" used
phone insurance to upgrade when their friends got a better phone.

What the ****s up with you? - or do you normally accuse people of being sad,
old, lonely gays with no life and psychiatric problems? - maybe this is a
reflection of yourself?

What the ****s up with you? - or do you normally accuse people of being
sad, old, lonely gays with no life and psychiatric problems? - maybe this
is a reflection of yourself?

Cheers, Phil!

My sentiments exactly.

D

bronco wrote:
"Vortex" wrote in message
.. .
Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking
about technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or
another. And you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game
of trumps going all the time.

Obviously they have no life!

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most
powerful PC? best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The
list goes on for ever.

I feel sorry for people like that, they are often insecure or ill. I
bet most are not married or even have a long term male partner.

Blimey, it's Dr Ruth with a dash of homophobia.

"Vortex" wrote in message
.. .
Hi,



What's your piston count then?

Ours is five: Laguna and scooter.

+++++++

By the way functional model engines are permissible, as are boat engines.
After much debate we also allowed company car pistons to be included. The
matter of a Mazda RX7 was however never satisfatorily resolved.

Oh well, it you're counting any engines it must be dozens - all those model
aero engins in the shed!

Mary

"bronco" wrote in message
...



Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family. You really do
need to get out more! I often wondered which "type" used phone insurance
to upgrade when their friends got a better phone.

Come on! It's only a bit of fun. I've wondered about it myself.

Mary

On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 14:46:37 UTC, "bronco" wrote:

"Vortex" wrote in message
.. .
A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking about
technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or another.
And you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game of trumps
going all the time.

Obviously they have no life!

(snip)

No, the really sad one is you, feeling that you have to reply in such
detail.

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

SNIP

"bronco" wrote in message
...


Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family. You really do
need to get out more! I often wondered which "type" used phone insurance
to upgrade when their friends got a better phone.


So, you have less pistons than Vortex then?

On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 17:38:20 UTC, "Schrodinger's cat"
wrote:

SNIP

"bronco" wrote in message
...

Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family. You really do
need to get out more! I often wondered which "type" used phone insurance
to upgrade when their friends got a better phone.

So, you have less pistons than Vortex then?

pedant
Fewer pistons...!
/pedant

And much sadder than Vortex too!

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another.


Our company is based in Houston, TX.
I visit there regularly, and have friends who have moved over there
permenantly.

This is truly the land of Gas Guzzling pickups.

It's not piston count that they compa it's displacement.
Often, people boast about how they've broken the 10Litre barrier without too
much effort.

2 Pickup Trucks at close to 5 L each, and throw in a lawnmower, and thre you
are!

--
Ron

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 17:38:20 UTC, "Schrodinger's cat"
wrote:

SNIP

"bronco" wrote in message
...

Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family. You really
do
need to get out more! I often wondered which "type" used phone
insurance
to upgrade when their friends got a better phone.

So, you have less pistons than Vortex then?

pedant
Fewer pistons...!
/pedant

Holds hands up!

Oops...

In message , Ron Lowe
writes
A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the
concept of "Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous
parameter our staff have EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one
another.


Our company is based in Houston, TX.
I visit there regularly, and have friends who have moved over there
permenantly.

This is truly the land of Gas Guzzling pickups.

It's not piston count that they compa it's displacement.
Often, people boast about how they've broken the 10Litre barrier
without too much effort.

2 Pickup Trucks at close to 5 L each, and throw in a lawnmower, and
thre you are!

er.... 39 at roughly 1 litre each, not counting the lawnmower/strimmer
etc.

regards


--
Tim Lamb

Vortex used his keyboard to write :
The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a Triumph
Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?

OK, I'll play...

Car a 4, car b 6, car c 4; bike 4, mower 1, chainsaw 1, compressor 1.

Total 21

--

Regards,
Harry (M1BYT) (L)
http://www.ukradioamateur.co.uk

Vortex wrote:
Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking about
technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or another. And
you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game of trumps going all
the time.

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most powerful PC?
best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The list goes on for ever.

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another. Let me explain the
rules:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles, power tools
and garden machines are all valid.

So my piston count is 16 which breaks down as:
Volvo (5), Toyota (4), Chainsaw, Mower, Ancient Flymo, Chainsaw,
Brushcutter, Hedge Cutter, Shredder (7).

The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a
Triumph Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?

well I thik its 22..

hedegtrimmer 1
2 mowers 2
chainsaw 1
strimnmer 1

three 4 cyl cars 12
one 5 cyl car 5

+++++++

By the way functional model engines are permissible,

Waht about ELECTRIC nodels motores. must have around 20 of those..

as are boat engines.
After much debate we also allowed company car pistons to be included. The
matter of a Mazda RX7 was however never satisfatorily resolved.

On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 20:37:13 GMT, Harry Bloomfield
wrote:

|Vortex used his keyboard to write :
| The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a Triumph
| Stag amongst other cars)
|
| What's your piston count then?
|
|OK, I'll play...
|
|Car a 4, car b 6, car c 4; bike 4, mower 1, chainsaw 1, compressor 1.
|
|Total 21

You lost by causing too much Global Warming :-(
In the UK few wins.
--
Dave Fawthrop dave hyphenologist co uk Google Groups is IME the *worst*
method of accessing usenet. GG subscribers would be well advised get a
newsreader, say Agent, and a newsserver, say news.individual.net. These
will allow them: to see only *new* posts, a killfile, and other goodies.

Ron Lowe wrote:
A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another.


Our company is based in Houston, TX.
I visit there regularly, and have friends who have moved over there
permenantly.

This is truly the land of Gas Guzzling pickups.

It's not piston count that they compa it's displacement.
Often, people boast about how they've broken the 10Litre barrier without too
much effort.

2 Pickup Trucks at close to 5 L each, and throw in a lawnmower, and thre you
are!


Hmm,
4 minis, 16 pistons, 4.6l.
2 diesel runabouts, 8 pistons, 2.4l
landy 4 pistons, 2.5l
3 lawnmowers, 3 pistons, not sure of the displacement....

so Im at 31, and around 10+ l + and model engines I have lying
around....
Do get a prize

Dave

On 2007-01-13 21:10:04 +0000, The Natural Philosopher said:

well I thik its 22..

hedegtrimmer 1
2 mowers 2
chainsaw 1
strimnmer 1

three 4 cyl cars 12
one 5 cyl car 5

+++++++

By the way functional model engines are permissible,

Waht about ELECTRIC nodels motores. must have around 20 of those..

Nah.

Now of course if you had a plane with fucted dan.....

That would be worth the equivalent of several sets of pistons if only
for brown trouser value.

In article , Vortex wrote:
The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a
Triumph Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?

Errr, one.
(Assuming that you count the bike tyre inflation pump.)

--
Aidan
Aberdeen, Scotland
Written at Sat, 13 Jan 2007 21:24 GMT, but posted later.

"Vortex" wrote in message
.. .
Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking about
technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or another.
And you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game of trumps
going all the time.

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most powerful PC?
best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The list goes on for
ever.

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another. Let me explain the
rules:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying
pistons must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles,
power tools and garden machines are all valid.

So my piston count is 16 which breaks down as:
Volvo (5), Toyota (4), Chainsaw, Mower, Ancient Flymo, Chainsaw,
Brushcutter, Hedge Cutter, Shredder (7).

The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a
Triumph Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?

+++++++

By the way functional model engines are permissible, as are boat engines.
After much debate we also allowed company car pistons to be included. The
matter of a Mazda RX7 was however never satisfatorily resolved.


53

Mrcheerful

In message , Vortex
writes
Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking about
technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or another. And
you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game of trumps going all
the time.

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most powerful PC?
best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The list goes on for ever.

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another. Let me explain the
rules:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles, power tools
and garden machines are all valid.

So my piston count is 16 which breaks down as:
Volvo (5), Toyota (4), Chainsaw, Mower, Ancient Flymo, Chainsaw,
Brushcutter, Hedge Cutter, Shredder (7).

Well, if you must

car - 6
motorbikes 4 + 1 + 1
van - 4
glowplug engines - 3

which = 19

no petrol driven appliances


--
geoff

In message , bronco
writes

What's your piston count then?

Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family.

Ah, but you have posted in uk.d-i-y

dead giveaway



--
geoff

In message , Vortex
writes
What the ****s up with you? - or do you normally accuse people of being
sad, old, lonely gays with no life and psychiatric problems? - maybe this
is a reflection of yourself?

Cheers, Phil!

My sentiments exactly.

You're all sad gay lonely old geeks

.... so be told

--
geoff

Aidan Karley wrote:
What's your piston count then?

Errr, one.
(Assuming that you count the bike tyre inflation pump.)


"Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines"

I was just about to add the WC ..... than I re-read the rules...

--
Adrian C

On 2007-01-13 22:56:41 +0000, Adrian C said:

Aidan Karley wrote:
What's your piston count then?

Errr, one.
(Assuming that you count the bike tyre inflation pump.)


"Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines"

I was just about to add the WC ..... than I re-read the rules...

That's pistin.

In message , raden
writes
In message , Vortex
writes
Hi,

A comment by Medway Handyman on another thread has got me thinking about
technical jargon.

In our company we are mostly engineers/tecchies of one sort or another. And
you know how it is.....tecchies have this constant game of trumps going all
the time.

Who has the best mobile? Fastest internet connection? Most powerful PC?
best Home Cinema? Most diagonal screen inches? The list goes on for ever.

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another. Let me explain the
rules:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles, power tools
and garden machines are all valid.

So my piston count is 16 which breaks down as:
Volvo (5), Toyota (4), Chainsaw, Mower, Ancient Flymo, Chainsaw,
Brushcutter, Hedge Cutter, Shredder (7).

Well, if you must

car - 6
motorbikes 4 + 1 + 1
van - 4
glowplug engines - 3

which = 19

no petrol driven appliances

Forgot - 3 or 4 of those little £5 compressors, and one 200 litre one

= 24

--
geoff

Vortex wrote:

You need to sum up all of the pistons in your household. Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines. Vehicles, power tools
and garden machines are all valid.

Best I can manage is 16 (and that includes adding those in Mother's car
which is currently on our driveway, and the 10cc IC engine in my toy boat!)

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

"Aidan Karley" wrote in message
.. .
In article , Vortex wrote:
The highest we had in our company ever as 42 (the guy had a TVR and a
Triumph Stag amongst other cars)

What's your piston count then?

Errr, one.
(Assuming that you count the bike tyre inflation pump.)

Oh, of course!

In that case two more for bike pumps, two for car/caravan tyre pumps, one
for ancient brass pesticide pump, several in hypodermic wotsits, various
grease guns ... oh, we're obviously persons of distinction :-)

Mary

"Adrian C" wrote in message
...
Aidan Karley wrote:
What's your piston count then?

Errr, one.
(Assuming that you count the bike tyre inflation pump.)


"Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines"

I was just about to add the WC ..... than I re-read the rules...

Oh bugger the rules, this is Britain, we make our own :-)

Mary

--
Adrian C

Andy Hall wrote:
On 2007-01-13 22:56:41 +0000, Adrian C said:

Aidan Karley wrote:
What's your piston count then?

Errr, one.
(Assuming that you count the bike tyre inflation pump.)


"Qualifying pistons
must exist in functional internal combustion engines"

I was just about to add the WC ..... than I re-read the rules...

That's pistin.

Piston Broke - does that count?


--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
01634 717930
07850 597257

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "Vortex"
saying something like:

What's your piston count then?

Not including the Mazda rotary...

32 in working engines plus another 12 in stripped/spare engines.
--

Dave

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "bronco" saying
something like:

Who cares, I'm not some sad old man with no life or family.

No, you're just a dysfunctional ****** or troll.
--

Dave

dave sanderson wrote:

3 lawnmowers, 3 pistons, not sure of the displacement....

Mere *single* cylinder lawnmowers?
Once you've tried a V6 there's no going back.... )

Vortex wrote in message
.. .
Hi,

A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another. Let me explain the
rules:


I collect cars, bikes, military vehicles and just about anything with an
engine so not fair if I play
But how about just two
Rolls Royce K60, I use this as a generator
http://i1.tinypic.com/2hcj68n.jpg
Rolls Royce CV12, I use this for ..urm poaching

http://i1.tinypic.com/2r3dt2o.jpg

=24 pistons 1440bhp and 32 litres



-

"Steve Walker" wrote in message
...
dave sanderson wrote:

3 lawnmowers, 3 pistons, not sure of the displacement....

Mere *single* cylinder lawnmowers?
Once you've tried a V6 there's no going back.... )

Six cylinders and no reverse gear?

I'm speechless.

Mary

"Mark" wrote in message
...



I collect cars, bikes, military vehicles and just about anything with an
engine so not fair if I play
But how about just two
Rolls Royce K60, I use this as a generator
http://i1.tinypic.com/2hcj68n.jpg

Who's carrying it? I can see a pair of legs buckling under the weight.

Mary

"dave sanderson" wrote in message
oups.com...

Ron Lowe wrote:
A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept
of
"Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff
have
EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another.


Our company is based in Houston, TX.
I visit there regularly, and have friends who have moved over there
permenantly.

This is truly the land of Gas Guzzling pickups.

It's not piston count that they compa it's displacement.
Often, people boast about how they've broken the 10Litre barrier without
too
much effort.

2 Pickup Trucks at close to 5 L each, and throw in a lawnmower, and thre
you
are!


Hmm,
4 minis, 16 pistons, 4.6l.
2 diesel runabouts, 8 pistons, 2.4l
landy 4 pistons, 2.5l
3 lawnmowers, 3 pistons, not sure of the displacement....

so Im at 31, and around 10+ l + and model engines I have lying
around....
Do get a prize

Dave

Good count.

I had 4 minis, but in series not parallel. Thinking about it I had 5:

1959 Mini 850 Cost me £100 in 1978. Sold for £125
Floor starter and no seatbelts
1968 Mini 850 Mk2 I had that for 3 years.
1968 Mini 1000 Remote gearchange LUXURY!!!!!!. Still
sliding Windows
1976 Mini 1000 Wind down windows but zero rustproofing
1971 Mini Cooper S Mark3 Before blue LEDS were invented.

david

On 14 Jan 2007 13:56:57 GMT, Huge wrote:

And the greenies and humourless ****s can tb shpx gurzfryirf.

Jings, I must be getting sadder than I was. I can now read that without
invoking ROT13.

"Ron Lowe" ronATlowe-famlyDOTmeDOTukSPURIOUS wrote in message
...
A few years ago an American friend of ours introduced us to the concept
of "Piston Count". This is quite the most ridiculous parameter our staff
have EVER adopted for the purpose of trumping one another.


Our company is based in Houston, TX.
I visit there regularly, and have friends who have moved over there
permenantly.

This is truly the land of Gas Guzzling pickups.

It's not piston count that they compa it's displacement.
Often, people boast about how they've broken the 10Litre barrier without
too much effort.

2 Pickup Trucks at close to 5 L each, and throw in a lawnmower, and thre
you are!

Have the Americans started to metricate? I always thought they used cubic
inches for engine capacity.

Colin Bignell