The message
from Andy Hall contains these words:

That deserves an Oscar if you could it all in one breath

There are one or two commas.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

The message
from Broadback contains these words:

A bit off this topic, but I see that Royal Mail employees have agreed to
up the load they will carry. This is so that the RM can post more
un-addressed junk through your letter box. It seems there is no way to
stop this!

Yes there is. You can ask not to receive unaddressed advertising stuff,
but I can't for the life of me remember how. I did it a few years ago
and it worked for a few months then they forgot. I reminded them and it
worked again for a few months.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

On 2006-08-02 19:18:47 +0100, Guy King said:

The message
from "mh" contains these words:

Can anyone beat it, or have a better gotcha?

Start talking normally, then suddenly scream, shout "No, the knife" and
drop a few pans and things on the floor and make gurgling noises. Then
sit very quietly.

"Mr King? Mr King, are you alright?" They sounded really worried!


Alternatively, the "Stream of consciousness" method.

"Oooh, I'm so glad you called. I've been stuck in this flat all on my
own for days 'cos my leg hurts so much and it's so good to have someone
to talk to after all, the doctor won't come out and the district nurse
only stays about two minutes and the neighbours are ever so good but
never stay long enough for a good long natter and I'm had such trouble
with my waterjbexes and then theres the sciatica and did I tell you the
man over the road's spying on my with his WWP aerial and even though
I've knitted some bloomers and a hat out of fine silver wire to keep out
the rays he's still looking into my head and putting in all sorts of
dirty thoughts about the vicar I mean some of the things I've been
thinking about haven't even got a name for or at least not a name I've
ever heard and the vicar's such a nice man though that wife of his is
dreadful it can't be right to go out wearing those sorts of clothes when
you're the vicar's wife even in the summer and certainly not when it's
not far of freezing and there's an east wind blowing but then that seems
to be the sort of thing they do these days I blame the soaps on TV 'cos
they're all run by the drug companies to make people depressed so they
need more drugs to keep them happy but the government and the aliens
behind it tell them to make people wear less clothes to get us ready for
global warming which is all a plot by the aliens so that the worlds warm
enough to suit their reptile natures 'cos they're all lizards, and I
don't mean lounge lizards like that George Lazenby though he wasn't as
good as Roger Moore but the best Bond was Sean Canary but he's a
Freemason and we all know what they're like they're hand in glove with
the other aliens, the ones that are trying to stop the lizard men they
look like little goldfish in fact that was what they masqueraded as for
years being given away to little children at fairs so as to spread their
influence across the world before making their play for world domination
did you know that their bowls are that shape because it focuses waves in
the ether that they use to communicate with their space ships which are
all in orbit around Venus which isn't the hot sulphurous planet they're
now pretending it is but more like the Perelandra all wet and fishy
which is why they live there in the first place though it isn't really
their home world at all and they use the National Grid to control the
thoughts of anyone wearing a bicycle helmet so anyone wearing a helmet
is under the control of the aliens but they don't know it all the helmet
factories in the world are under the control of the fish people who make
their money by collecting all the lost socks from the insides of tumble
dryers and selling them at car boot sales but not washing machines that
franchise is owned by the frog people who are their sworn enemies....
HELLO ARE YOU STILL THERE?"

That deserves an Oscar if you could it all in one breath

"Dave Plowman (News)" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Sylvain VAN DER WALDE wrote:
Get an answerphone.

I find 'blank' messages on the answerphone perhaps more galling than
cold calls.

I've found it ideal for deterring the people in question. Although it took a
while; from several calls a day, I now get almost none. I was always polite
to the callers, but made it quite clear to them that I didn't buy
products/services on the telephone.

Sylvain.

--
*Proofread carefully to see if you any words out or mispeld something *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

"John White" wrote in message
...
"Sylvain VAN DER WALDE" wrote:

"mh" wrote in message
...
I am a TPS (telephone preference service) subscriber which means nobody
is
supposed to phone me trying to sell the usual cr@p.
Although it works well, I am getting a lot of calls from abroad where
they
cannot be held to account...

Get an answerphone.

Mine once filled its tape with 30 minutes of "You have won a holiday
in Florida...press 9 to claim your prize. (pause) You have won a
holiday in Florida...press 9 to claim your prize..."

Mine is all digital. Whether it's better than a tape based one, I wouldn't
know (I haven't read the handbook recently). I haven't had your problem
though.

Sylvain.


John
--
John White,
Electrical Contractor

"Dave Fawthrop" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 02 Aug 2006 20:45:50 GMT, "Sylvain VAN DER WALDE"
wrote:

|
|"mh" wrote in message
...
|I am a TPS (telephone preference service) subscriber which means nobody
is
| supposed to phone me trying to sell the usual cr@p.
| Although it works well, I am getting a lot of calls from abroad where
they
| cannot be held to account...however I have a new game which helps me
| suppress my anger at these scumbags.
| When they call, I answer their questions for about twenty seconds, then
| tell
| them there is somebody at the door and would they hold on. I start the
| stopwatch, put the phone on mute and speakerphone, get on with what I
was
| doing and listen for the hello, hello, are you there ? beeeeeep.
| My current record stands at 4m 07seconds from (by the accent) India.
| Can anyone beat it, or have a better gotcha?
|
|Get an answerphone.

My answerphone message once said "Hi this is Dave Fawthrop's anti
salesperson device. If I would want to talk to you leave a message,
salespersons should ring off now"

I'm using one of the pre-recorded messages. It's very formal, and to the
point. It seems to work alright.

Sylvain.

--
Dave Fawthrop dave hyphenologist co uk Google Groups is IME the *worst*
method of accessing usenet. GG subscribers would be well advised get a
newsreader, say Agent, and a newsserver, say news.individual.net. These
will allow them: to see only *new* posts, a killfile, and other goodies.

In article ,
Guy King wrote:
Yes there is. You can ask not to receive unaddressed advertising stuff,
but I can't for the life of me remember how. I did it a few years ago
and it worked for a few months then they forgot. I reminded them and it
worked again for a few months.

It's on the same page as the TPS. Called MPS.

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/

--
*If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Thu, 3 Aug 2006 09:50:13 UTC, "Dave Plowman (News)"
wrote:

In article ,
Guy King wrote:
Yes there is. You can ask not to receive unaddressed advertising stuff,
but I can't for the life of me remember how. I did it a few years ago
and it worked for a few months then they forgot. I reminded them and it
worked again for a few months.

It's on the same page as the TPS. Called MPS.

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/

Doesn't cover unaddressed stuff via the postman. For that, email to:

optout (at) royalmail.co.uk

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
Avenue Supplies, http://avenuesupplies.co.uk

The message
from "Dave Plowman (News)" contains these words:

There's a mail preference service similar to the TPS and it really does
work for the junk mail that the postman delivers. Now if only there were
the same for leaflets, etc...

Ah, here we are - To opt out of the Royal Mail’s Door to Door Service
tel: 08457 950950. That's the "To the car driver" sort of letter that
the postie delivers to everyone.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

The message
from "Dave Plowman (News)" contains these words:

It's on the same page as the TPS. Called MPS.

No, that's for addressed stuff. The unaddressed stuff that the RM kindly
stuff through your box specifically isn't covered.
From the MPS FAQ

"7. Can MPS stop mailings addressed to the occupier/homeowner?

MPS will not be able to reduce mailings addressed to either the Occupant
or Homeowner. The service works by companies suppressing their mailing
lists at surname and postcode level. If you are receiving mailings
addressed to the occupier or homeowner you must contact the company who
sent the mailing directly and ask to be removed from their delivery
lists."

The number for that I just posted in this thread.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

On Thu, 3 Aug 2006 10:21:54 UTC, Guy King wrote:

The message
from "Dave Plowman (News)" contains these words:

There's a mail preference service similar to the TPS and it really does
work for the junk mail that the postman delivers. Now if only there were
the same for leaflets, etc...

Ah, here we are - To opt out of the Royal MailÆs Door to Door Service
tel: 08457 950950. That's the "To the car driver" sort of letter that
the postie delivers to everyone.

They warn that it also stops delivery of circulars from the council,
government, etc.

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
Avenue Supplies, http://avenuesupplies.co.uk

On Thu, 3 Aug 2006 10:33:42 UTC, Guy King wrote:

MPS will not be able to reduce mailings addressed to either the Occupant
or Homeowner. The service works by companies suppressing their mailing
lists at surname and postcode level. If you are receiving mailings
addressed to the occupier or homeowner you must contact the company who
sent the mailing directly and ask to be removed from their delivery
lists."

The number for that I just posted in this thread.

Or email to:



and they'll email back an application form.

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
Avenue Supplies, http://avenuesupplies.co.uk

Bob Mannix wrote:
"ABC" wrote in message
...

aren't filtered out. It is the fault of the telesales companies and they
deserve all that they get.


Well indeed but you aren't getting at the company you are just getting at
the caller who gets paid for the number of calls they make. The company
isn't hurt at all and a low-waged person in a **** job just gets less money.
That's why I don't succumb to temptation and always hang up politely but
firmly and instantly.

Both are guilty, company and individual caller. A lot of people give up
this kind of job precisely because they get so much abuse, so it does
reduce the number of pest callers, make more hassle for the companies
employing them, drive up wages, costing the companies a 2nd time.


NT

wrote:
Bob Mannix wrote:
"ABC" wrote in message
...

aren't filtered out. It is the fault of the telesales companies and they
deserve all that they get.


Well indeed but you aren't getting at the company you are just getting at
the caller who gets paid for the number of calls they make. The company
isn't hurt at all and a low-waged person in a **** job just gets less money.
That's why I don't succumb to temptation and always hang up politely but
firmly and instantly.

Both are guilty, company and individual caller. A lot of people give up
this kind of job precisely because they get so much abuse, so it does
reduce the number of pest callers, make more hassle for the companies
employing them, drive up wages, costing the companies a 2nd time.



These companies expect high staff turnover and have an ample pool of
young people willing to do the job on crap pay just as a stop gap to
something else. I don't think it unduly worries the call centre
company. Just hang up, life's too short.

The message
from "Bob Eager" contains these words:

They warn that it also stops delivery of circulars from the council,
government, etc.

Yup. Even less crap.

Actually, I have an arangement with Wayne, our postman, to shove
anything interesting through the letterbox but to keep anything else.
Seems to work most of the time.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

wrote:
ABC wrote:
Also don't forget the more people that sign up for TPS (and BT's version of
it) then the less people these telesales companies can legally call. THey
will try and resort to immoral or unethical practices to get their call to
you.

Yes, we're TPS registered, ex-directory, and have caller id. When the
occasional cold caller gets through that lot, the spiel would often be
"you recently took part in a survey....".
I don't think so.


Me too; I get very very few of these calls but the last one said they'd
just dialled me at random before being told where to put his headset.

(Out of interest though, do random-dialled numbers legally need to be
screened against the TPS list before being dialled?)

David

Bob Eager wrote:
On Thu, 3 Aug 2006 10:33:42 UTC, Guy King wrote:

MPS will not be able to reduce mailings addressed to either the Occupant
or Homeowner. The service works by companies suppressing their mailing
lists at surname and postcode level. If you are receiving mailings
addressed to the occupier or homeowner you must contact the company who
sent the mailing directly and ask to be removed from their delivery
lists."

The number for that I just posted in this thread.

Or email to:



and they'll email back an application form.

If you go down that route, I wonder does it create more hassle for the
postie who then has to worry about the houses where he can't post crap;
or will he thank you for giving him less crap to carry on his round?

David

"Lobster" wrote in message
...
wrote:
ABC wrote:
Also don't forget the more people that sign up for TPS (and BT's version
of
it) then the less people these telesales companies can legally call.
THey
will try and resort to immoral or unethical practices to get their call
to
you.

Yes, we're TPS registered, ex-directory, and have caller id. When the
occasional cold caller gets through that lot, the spiel would often be
"you recently took part in a survey....". I don't think so.


Me too; I get very very few of these calls but the last one said they'd
just dialled me at random before being told where to put his headset.

(Out of interest though, do random-dialled numbers legally need to be
screened against the TPS list before being dialled?)

David

Yes. All random-dialled numbers should be TPS screened. If not, they are in
breach of TPS rules.

On Thu, 3 Aug 2006 13:11:17 UTC, Lobster
wrote:

If you go down that route, I wonder does it create more hassle for the
postie who then has to worry about the houses where he can't post crap;
or will he thank you for giving him less crap to carry on his round?

I wondered exactly that, and decided they probably balanced out.

To misquote Arlo Guthrie: "if two people do it...if three people do
it...etc....fifty people a day, yes..." - if we all do it, guess he may
or may not be happy...

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
Avenue Supplies, http://avenuesupplies.co.uk

On 2006-08-03 10:00:25 +0100, "Dave Plowman (News)"
said:

In article ,
Broadback wrote:
A bit off this topic, but I see that Royal Mail employees have agreed
to up the load they will carry. This is so that the RM can post more
un-addressed junk through your letter box. It seems there is no way to
stop this!

There's a mail preference service similar to the TPS and it really does
work for the junk mail that the postman delivers. Now if only there were
the same for leaflets, etc...

They can get around it by addressing the mail to "The Occupier"

NTL are one of the main culprits for this.

The message
from Dave Fawthrop contains these words:

Yes all sales calls should be checked against TPS list.
A computer dialling at random is a lot more dangerous than a person, it
does not get bored.

It's clearly never rung my mum.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Lobster wrote:
If you go down that route, I wonder does it create more hassle for the
postie who then has to worry about the houses where he can't post crap;
or will he thank you for giving him less crap to carry on his round?

And if I opt out, that still leaves 3 lots of junk for the other three
flats landing on the mat. Plus the stuff for people who haven't' lived
here for a dozen years.
We keep a recycle bag in the hall, manage to fill it every week.

--
David Clark
http://www.publishing.ucl.ac.uk
$replyto = 'an.rnser.is.reqird'

In article , Broadback
writes

A bit off this topic, but I see that Royal Mail employees have agreed to
up the load they will carry. This is so that the RM can post more
un-addressed junk through your letter box. It seems there is no way to
stop this!

Sticker on my letterbox: "No junk mail or free newspapers please" seems
to work ok.

--
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

In message , Bob Eager
writes
On Thu, 3 Aug 2006 13:11:17 UTC, Lobster
wrote:

If you go down that route, I wonder does it create more hassle for the
postie who then has to worry about the houses where he can't post crap;
or will he thank you for giving him less crap to carry on his round?

I wondered exactly that, and decided they probably balanced out.

To misquote Arlo Guthrie: "if two people do it...if three people do
it...etc....fifty people a day, yes..." - if we all do it, guess he may
or may not be happy...

"You can hear any crap you want
From Alice's cold calling centre"

.... doesn't quite scan

--
geoff

On Thu, 3 Aug 2006 21:23:38 UTC, raden wrote:

To misquote Arlo Guthrie: "if two people do it...if three people do
it...etc....fifty people a day, yes..." - if we all do it, guess he may
or may not be happy...

"You can hear any crap you want
From Alice's cold calling centre"

... doesn't quite scan

LOL! No, but fun!

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
Avenue Supplies, http://avenuesupplies.co.uk