[
Outsourcing the President's Job

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of
August 31st. The move is being made to save not only a significant
portion of the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should
be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash.).
Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has
studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively.

"We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the
current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming
the office of President as of September 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the
United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara
Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other
benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the US Government will be open.

"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American
Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I
am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President
someday."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President,
this should not be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree
that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern.
Using this tree, he can address common concerns without having to
understand the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesperson. "Mr.
Bush has used them successfully for years."

Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will
be eligible for $240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment
benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc.
to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job
transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to limited practical work experience. One possibility
is re-enlistment in the Air National Guard. Should he choose this
option, he would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has
visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad
Airport's terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm
reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with
details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate
welcome.

~ Author Unknown ~
]

"Cliff" wrote in message
...
[
Outsourcing the President's Job

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of
August 31st. The move is being made to save not only a significant
portion of the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should
be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash.).
Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has
studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively.

"We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the
current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming
the office of President as of September 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the
United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara
Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other
benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the US Government will be open.

"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American
Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I
am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President
someday."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President,
this should not be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree
that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern.
Using this tree, he can address common concerns without having to
understand the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesperson. "Mr.
Bush has used them successfully for years."

Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will
be eligible for $240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment
benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc.
to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job
transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to limited practical work experience. One possibility
is re-enlistment in the Air National Guard. Should he choose this
option, he would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has
visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad
Airport's terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm
reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with
details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate
welcome.

~ Author Unknown ~
]

Take it to someone who cares, you crossposting moron.

PLONK

Steve

"Steve Peterson" 123@nospam wrote in message
...
Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm
reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with
details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate
welcome.

~ Author Unknown ~
]

Take it to someone who cares, you crossposting moron.

PLONK

Steve

Steve B
Thanks for reposting the article in it's entirety. I had not seen it till
you did so.
Steve


You're welcome. Would you like to see it again? I wanted to follow
netiquette, and post the message I was responding to. You will notice that
I only posted the pertinent parts here to assist the usenet impaired in
following the conversation.

I am sure you will see it reposted hundreds of times should you choose to
follow this inane thread. Should you be on a dialup, or a cell hook up, or
just narrow bandwidth, you should really thank Cliff, and not me.

Steve

Steve

In article ,
Cliff wrote:

[
Outsourcing the President's Job

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of
August 31st. The move is being made to save not only a significant
portion of the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.


We would save even more if we simply eliminated the Presidency, and all
legislation is automatically vetoed. Less would pass if all bills
required 2/3 to 3/4 majority (but it probably would still be too many).

Maybe we can require the retired presidents to pick up their retirement
pay in Bagdad?

--
Free men own guns, slaves don't
www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/5357/

On Sun, 7 Aug 2005 11:13:44 -0700, "SteveB"
wrote:


"Cliff" wrote in message
.. .
[
Outsourcing the President's Job

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of
August 31st. The move is being made to save not only a significant
portion of the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should
be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash.).
Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has
studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively.

"We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the
current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming
the office of President as of September 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the
United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara
Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other
benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the US Government will be open.

"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American
Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I
am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President
someday."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President,
this should not be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree
that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern.
Using this tree, he can address common concerns without having to
understand the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesperson. "Mr.
Bush has used them successfully for years."

Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will
be eligible for $240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment
benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc.
to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job
transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to limited practical work experience. One possibility
is re-enlistment in the Air National Guard. Should he choose this
option, he would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has
visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad
Airport's terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm
reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with
details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate
welcome.

~ Author Unknown ~
]

Take it to someone who cares, you crossposting moron.

PLONK

Steve


Steve,
Thanks for crossposting that for Gunner & crew G
--
Cliff

On Sun, 07 Aug 2005 20:40:43 GMT, Nick Hull
wrote:

In article ,
Cliff wrote:

[
Outsourcing the President's Job

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of
August 31st. The move is being made to save not only a significant
portion of the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.


We would save even more if we simply eliminated the Presidency, and all
legislation is automatically vetoed. Less would pass if all bills
required 2/3 to 3/4 majority (but it probably would still be too many).

Maybe we can require the retired presidents to pick up their retirement
pay in Bagdad?

Im waiting with bated breath to see if the Libs (and unfortunately far
too many Conservatives) implode if the new bill that requires each
future bill to be prefaced with how each bill is covered under the
Constitution, along with the end results of said bills.

Having to prove each bill is Constitutional in action, will weed out a
****load of legislation. I can see Nazi Pelosi and Swinestein bursting
into flames at the podium. Of course...it will smell like burning
pig ****....

Gunner

On Sun, 7 Aug 2005 12:34:41 -0700, SteveB wrote:

"Steve Peterson" 123@nospam wrote in message
...

Steve B
Thanks for reposting the article in it's entirety. I had not seen it till
you did so.

You're welcome. Would you like to see it again? I wanted to follow
netiquette, and post the message I was responding to.

Reposting spam/troll posts is suggested in _which_ netiquette guide,
exactly?

You will notice that
I only posted the pertinent parts here to assist the usenet impaired in
following the conversation.

Maybe you could learn how to _effectively_ deal with spam/troll posts,
rather than helping them bypass filters. Which I think might have been
Steve P's point.

I am sure you will see it reposted hundreds of times should you choose to
follow this inane thread. Should you be on a dialup, or a cell hook up, or
just narrow bandwidth, you should really thank Cliff, and not me.

"All the other kids are doing it; don't blame me", in other words. Most
of us grow out of that by the end of grade school. Wouldn't it be
easier to just say "Wups, my bad, I won't do that any more", or just
ingore it and, you know, not do it any more? It's fine if you don't
want to exert the effort to discourage it, but please don't make it
worse, OK?

"Dave Hinz" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 7 Aug 2005 12:34:41 -0700, SteveB wrote:

"Steve Peterson" 123@nospam wrote in message
...

Steve B
Thanks for reposting the article in it's entirety. I had not seen it
till
you did so.

You're welcome. Would you like to see it again? I wanted to follow
netiquette, and post the message I was responding to.

Reposting spam/troll posts is suggested in _which_ netiquette guide,
exactly?

You will notice that
I only posted the pertinent parts here to assist the usenet impaired in
following the conversation.

Maybe you could learn how to _effectively_ deal with spam/troll posts,
rather than helping them bypass filters. Which I think might have been
Steve P's point.

I am sure you will see it reposted hundreds of times should you choose to
follow this inane thread. Should you be on a dialup, or a cell hook up,
or
just narrow bandwidth, you should really thank Cliff, and not me.

"All the other kids are doing it; don't blame me", in other words. Most
of us grow out of that by the end of grade school. Wouldn't it be
easier to just say "Wups, my bad, I won't do that any more", or just
ingore it and, you know, not do it any more? It's fine if you don't
want to exert the effort to discourage it, but please don't make it
worse, OK?


Whups. My bad. You have a valid and lucid point.

I apologize and will take my punishment.

I just think if I do, that Cliff needs a couple of swats, too, for starting
political crap in a metalworking newsgroup.

I come here to get away from being bombarded by it 23 hours a day.

So, give me my swats, and don't forget Cliffie, either.

Steve

"SteveB" wrote in message
news:tvNJe.81340$4o.23877@fed1read06...


Whups. My bad. You have a valid and lucid point.

I apologize and will take my punishment.

I just think if I do, that Cliff needs a couple of swats, too, for
starting political crap in a metalworking newsgroup.

I come here to get away from being bombarded by it 23 hours a day.

So, give me my swats, and don't forget Cliffie, either.


The best thing to do with Cliffy is to shun him (unless you're in a position
to actually get your hands on him G) and totally forget that he has ever
existed.

This isn't the only NG that he's infested that you (and I, for that matter
G) habituate, either.

On Mon, 08 Aug 2005 22:22:22 GMT, the opaque Strabo
clearly wrote:

In OT - More Outsourcing on Mon, 08 Aug 2005 08:00:28 GMT, by
Gunner, we read:

Im waiting with bated breath to see if the Libs (and unfortunately far
too many Conservatives) implode if the new bill that requires each
future bill to be prefaced with how each bill is covered under the
Constitution, along with the end results of said bills.

Having to prove each bill is Constitutional in action, will weed out a
****load of legislation. I can see Nazi Pelosi and Swinestein bursting
into flames at the podium. Of course...it will smell like burning
pig ****....

(Bwahahaha! Excellent visualization, Gunner. Can we do
away with all riders now, too? What porkbarrels THEY are.)


Quite so. Having to cite authorization could cut
legislation by as much as 75%. It would also eliminate
the hideous congressional cooperation with executive
orders; force a return to gold based monetary system;
effect treaties; and a hundred other changes. Then we
could talk about important stuff.

Like the 75% Congressional wage reductions brought about
by their greatly reduced overhead and time they'll spend
actually doing anything in D.C.? Wonderful!


--
Impeach 'em ALL!
----------------------------------------------------
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