from "The Complete Book Of Pitfalls"


The man deeply involved in Home Improvement frequently finds himself
working all day on a certain job but never actually starting it. Wives
don't see how that's possible, and they get annoyed. They fail to
appreciate the effort involved in not getting something done. They
just don't understand While-You're-at-It projects.

Take the following typical situation. You've promised to saw up the
tree that broke your wife's clothesline when it fell over on her
flower bed. You've set Saturday aside for the job. Here's what
happens:

Right after breakfast, bright and early, you go out to get the big
limb saw. On the way to the garage you trip over the loose porch step.
You wiggle it back in place.

When you try to get into the garage to look for the saw, you have
trouble lifting the overhead door. It sticks badly. The tracks and
pulley need oil. Unless the door gets immediate attention it will
stick even worse, and your wife might hurt her back. You look around
for the oilcan, and remember that it's in the cellar.

You go back to the house, go down to the cellar, fetch the oilcan,
come back out, and trip over the other loose porch step. You put down
the oilcan and examine the steps closely. The boards are rotten.
They've got to be replaced. There's no time like the present, before
your wife falls and hurts herself.

Building new steps requires wood, but you don't waste time looking
around for scrap pieces. Every handyman knows that the quickest way to
get wood for a project is to take apart something he has built.
You decide to dismantle garage shelves that really aren't being used
for anything except to store empty paint cans and three-way light
bulbs two-thirds burnt out. You go up to the attic, bring down empty
cardboard cartons, clear the shelves, and then take the cartons of
bulbs and cans back up to the attic. You get a crowbar and hammer from
the cellar, and take' apart the garage shelves. You move the boards
out by the porch. After finding the ruler, small hand saw, -square, a
pencil, and the right size nails in the cellar you start on the porch
step project.

When you finish, it's time for lunch. Your wife asks how the
tree-sawing is going, end you say you're getting there.

After lunch you go out to get the big limb saw, trip over the oilcan
on the porch, and remember that you must oil the overhead garage door.
You oil the tracks but you can't reach the pulleys without a ladder.
You get the stepladder from the cellar, but it won't open until you
oil the hinges. After oiling the hinges and repairing a loose step,
you set up the ladder, climb it and oil the door pulleys. When you
finish, you fold up the ladder and take it back to the cellar because
if you don't put things away in their right places you have trouble
finding them again.

You go back out to the garage and roll the door up and down a few
dozen times-to get it working smoothly. Then you start looking for the
limb saw. You find it behind your collection of bald tires.
The saw is so rusty that you decide to oil it. But you can't find the
oilcan, even in the cellar. You finally spot it on an overhead garage
beam where you left it after oiling the pulleys. You can't reach it,
so you go in the house to get a kitchen chair to stand on .It's easier
than getting the stepladder out of the cellar again. While you're
reaching up and getting the oilcan the chair wobbles. Close
examination reveals the trouble-two legs and three rungs are loose.
You go down to the cellar and find the wood glue. But you can't get
the cap off. You must use the workbench vise and pliers to get it
unstuck. The vise almost falls off the workbench , on your foot again.
For several years you've been meaning to bolt it down, before it falls
on one of the kids.

You have to find three 5/I6-inch bolts at least three inches long, and
the right nuts and washers and lock washers. This means pawing through
lots of coffee cans. Then you find the drill and proper bit, bore
three holes in the workbench, and bolt down the vise.
You take the wood glue out to the garage and glue the chair rungs and
legs. You fashion glue clamps out of turnbuckles from the cellar and
short lengths of rope from the attic.

Excess glue squeezed from the joints must be wiped up, so you go in
the house to get some rags from the bottom of the kitchen closet.
While you're crouched inside the closet with a flashlight your wife
asks how the tree sawing is coming along. You tell her you are getting
to it just as fast as you can.

You clean off the chair in the garage with the rags, and bring the
chair inside where it's warm. after a cup of coffee, you go outside to
oil the big limb saw.

It's getting dark.

There's not much point starting on the tree, since you'll have to quit
right away. So you carefully oil the saw and put it back behind the
bald tires. Then you gather up all the tools and take them back down
to the cellar. You also take the oilcan, and while you're down there
you oil some tools that show signs of rust. You also fill the oil caps
on, the furnace circulator motor.

You return to the kitchen, exhausted, and tell your wife that the
tree-sawing project will have to wait until the following Saturday.
Tomorrow is set aside for raking leaves.

As it turns out, you don't get any leaves raked that Sunday. Here's
what happens:

Right after breakfast, bright and early, you go out to get the big
leaf rake . . .

Bo Dacious wrote:
from "The Complete Book Of Pitfalls"


The man deeply involved in Home Improvement frequently finds himself
working all day on a certain job but never actually starting it. Wives
don't see how that's possible, and they get annoyed. They fail to
appreciate the effort involved in not getting something done. They
just don't understand While-You're-at-It projects.

Take the following typical situation. You've promised to saw up the
tree that broke your wife's clothesline when it fell over on her
flower bed. You've set Saturday aside for the job. Here's what
happens:

Right after breakfast, bright and early, you go out to get the big
limb saw. On the way to the garage you trip over the loose porch step.
You wiggle it back in place.

When you try to get into the garage to look for the saw, you have
trouble lifting the overhead door. It sticks badly. The tracks and
pulley need oil. Unless the door gets immediate attention it will
stick even worse, and your wife might hurt her back. You look around
for the oilcan, and remember that it's in the cellar.

You go back to the house, go down to the cellar, fetch the oilcan,
come back out, and trip over the other loose porch step. You put down
the oilcan and examine the steps closely. The boards are rotten.
They've got to be replaced. There's no time like the present, before
your wife falls and hurts herself.

Building new steps requires wood, but you don't waste time looking
around for scrap pieces. Every handyman knows that the quickest way to
get wood for a project is to take apart something he has built.
You decide to dismantle garage shelves that really aren't being used
for anything except to store empty paint cans and three-way light
bulbs two-thirds burnt out. You go up to the attic, bring down empty
cardboard cartons, clear the shelves, and then take the cartons of
bulbs and cans back up to the attic. You get a crowbar and hammer from
the cellar, and take' apart the garage shelves. You move the boards
out by the porch. After finding the ruler, small hand saw, -square, a
pencil, and the right size nails in the cellar you start on the porch
step project.

When you finish, it's time for lunch. Your wife asks how the
tree-sawing is going, end you say you're getting there.

After lunch you go out to get the big limb saw, trip over the oilcan
on the porch, and remember that you must oil the overhead garage door.
You oil the tracks but you can't reach the pulleys without a ladder.
You get the stepladder from the cellar, but it won't open until you
oil the hinges. After oiling the hinges and repairing a loose step,
you set up the ladder, climb it and oil the door pulleys. When you
finish, you fold up the ladder and take it back to the cellar because
if you don't put things away in their right places you have trouble
finding them again.

You go back out to the garage and roll the door up and down a few
dozen times-to get it working smoothly. Then you start looking for the
limb saw. You find it behind your collection of bald tires.
The saw is so rusty that you decide to oil it. But you can't find the
oilcan, even in the cellar. You finally spot it on an overhead garage
beam where you left it after oiling the pulleys. You can't reach it,
so you go in the house to get a kitchen chair to stand on .It's easier
than getting the stepladder out of the cellar again. While you're
reaching up and getting the oilcan the chair wobbles. Close
examination reveals the trouble-two legs and three rungs are loose.
You go down to the cellar and find the wood glue. But you can't get
the cap off. You must use the workbench vise and pliers to get it
unstuck. The vise almost falls off the workbench , on your foot again.
For several years you've been meaning to bolt it down, before it falls
on one of the kids.

You have to find three 5/I6-inch bolts at least three inches long, and
the right nuts and washers and lock washers. This means pawing through
lots of coffee cans. Then you find the drill and proper bit, bore
three holes in the workbench, and bolt down the vise.
You take the wood glue out to the garage and glue the chair rungs and
legs. You fashion glue clamps out of turnbuckles from the cellar and
short lengths of rope from the attic.

Excess glue squeezed from the joints must be wiped up, so you go in
the house to get some rags from the bottom of the kitchen closet.
While you're crouched inside the closet with a flashlight your wife
asks how the tree sawing is coming along. You tell her you are getting
to it just as fast as you can.

You clean off the chair in the garage with the rags, and bring the
chair inside where it's warm. after a cup of coffee, you go outside to
oil the big limb saw.

It's getting dark.

There's not much point starting on the tree, since you'll have to quit
right away. So you carefully oil the saw and put it back behind the
bald tires. Then you gather up all the tools and take them back down
to the cellar. You also take the oilcan, and while you're down there
you oil some tools that show signs of rust. You also fill the oil caps
on, the furnace circulator motor.

You return to the kitchen, exhausted, and tell your wife that the
tree-sawing project will have to wait until the following Saturday.
Tomorrow is set aside for raking leaves.

As it turns out, you don't get any leaves raked that Sunday. Here's
what happens:

Right after breakfast, bright and early, you go out to get the big
leaf rake . . .

Sounds kinda like A.A.A.D.D.

On 07/29/2014 07:08 PM, Bo Dacious wrote:
from "The Complete Book Of Pitfalls"


The man deeply involved in Home Improvement frequently finds himself
working all day on a certain job but never actually starting it. Wives
don't see how that's possible, and they get annoyed. They fail to
appreciate the effort involved in not getting something done. They
just don't understand While-You're-at-It projects.



snip


Yep that's how it goes and in all truthfulness I can tell you that it
was about two weeks ago that I finally replaced the cracked window in
the pantry. It's been like that since I bought the house 35 years ago!


I did take the glass from one of the old windows I had been storing in
the basement.

I got so irriated with chainsaw jobs. invaribly the chainsaw would hit a nail, quit running, tree falls wrongway and damages the saw, saw fell out of tree, etc etc etc.

I bought a bunch of cheap electric chainsaws at garage sales flea markets etc.

when one quits I just swap saws and keep going.

when using chainsaw I just want to get all the cutting done, not be working on the saw.

bob haller wrote:
I got so irriated with chainsaw jobs. invaribly the chainsaw would
hit a nail, quit running, tree falls wrongway and damages the saw,
saw fell out of tree, etc etc etc.

I bought a bunch of cheap electric chainsaws at garage sales flea
markets etc.

when one quits I just swap saws and keep going.

when using chainsaw I just want to get all the cutting done, not be
working on the saw.

Same here , that's why I have 3 gas units . Two were given to me , and the
one that gives the most trouble is the one I paid for ... go figger .

--
Snag

On 7/29/2014 7:08 PM, Bo Dacious wrote:
from "The Complete Book Of Pitfalls"


The man deeply involved in Home Improvement frequently finds himself
working all day on a certain job but never actually starting it. Wives
don't see how that's possible, and they get annoyed. They fail to
appreciate the effort involved in not getting something done. They
just don't understand While-You're-at-It projects.

snip

Supposed to be amusing, but it only comes across to me as a
disorganized screwup. Just do one thing at a time. If necessary,
prioritize. If necessary, establish priorities in consultation with
spouse. Also, acknowledge spouse's contribution. There's only one
couple I know where both don't do yard/household maintenance,
including tree removal, and that's because they're elderly and hubby's
POV is that yard work is men's work. His choice.