I have had cans blow down the road on occasion, that I needed to
recover. Nothing like this example!

*
This message is to the person who stole my new trashcan this Tuesday.
Although I will probably never see my trashcan again, I want to let
you know how I feel.

You are a vile, loathsome excuse for a human being.

I would bet money that one of the following applies to you:

1. You are a democrat and voted for Obama.

2. You are on Medicaid, Welfare, or some other government assistance
because you're to apathetic to work for things you want in life.

3. If you are not funded, then you are related to someone who is.

4. You are a narcissistic, prideful sociopath with an unjustified
sense of entitlement, clearly illustrated by your status in society.

5. You have problems with relationships, trust, and holding jobs.

6. You have bad oral hygiene and rarely if ever floss your teeth.

7. You could find enough money in the dimples of your ass to buy the
same trash can from WalMart.

Am I getting close?

I hope that this message transcends this website and melds itself into
the plastic fibers of my lovely trashcan. I hope that your Tuesdays
and Fridays are literally "trash days". I sincerely hope that when you
are diagnosed with cancer, the culprit is carcinogenic fumes from the
plastic trashcan you stole.

I will be scouting the neighborhood so have your receipts ready
people.