According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.

On 25 Mar 2007 09:22:21 -0700, "HammerBammer"
wrote:

According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.

But aren't these wires connected to the pool halls and strip clubs
too?

I know there are a lot of people in Home Depot on Sunday morning, and
at hamfests.

On Mar 25, 9:27 am, mm wrote:
On 25 Mar 2007 09:22:21 -0700, "HammerBammer"
wrote:

According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.

But aren't these wires connected to the pool halls and strip clubs
too?

I know there are a lot of people in Home Depot on Sunday morning, and
at hamfests.

With My luck I'd cause a brownout and live.The cause would be traced
to Me and unending lawsuits to boot making it tough to afford the
money and time for beer,,just does'nt sound like Heaven at all..

Frankly with religions like catholics where pedophile priests are
protected and moved and pope john paul PROMOTED the worst bishop
bernie law from boston who deserved to be in jail to the vatican, and
bernie helped chose the current pope who shortly later stated
pedophile scandal in US was no big deal your probably better off NOT
in such a corupt organization!

Personally its not where you go on sunday, it how you live your life.
Do for others try to live right, and avoid bad stuff, you know what
they are!

God will smile on such behavior

"HammerBammer" wrote in message
ps.com...
According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven.

No man. I am going to become a Muslim, blow things up and have many virgins
in Heaven

On 25 Mar 2007 10:46:43 -0700, "Dean" wrote:

On Mar 25, 9:27 am, mm wrote:
On 25 Mar 2007 09:22:21 -0700, "HammerBammer"
wrote:

According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.

But aren't these wires connected to the pool halls and strip clubs
too?

I know there are a lot of people in Home Depot on Sunday morning, and
at hamfests.

With My luck I'd cause a brownout and live.The cause would be traced
to Me and unending lawsuits to boot making it tough to afford the
money and time for beer,,just does'nt sound like Heaven at all..

You grab a 240V line, put the red wire in your asshole, black in your
mouth, and wrap the white around your genitals. This gives faster and
more reliable heaven entry.

After all, heaven IS reserved for the stupid :-)

On 25 Mar 2007 10:46:55 -0700, "
wrote:

Frankly with religions like catholics where pedophile priests are
protected and moved and pope john paul PROMOTED the worst bishop
bernie law from boston who deserved to be in jail to the vatican, and
bernie helped chose the current pope who shortly later stated
pedophile scandal in US was no big deal your probably better off NOT
in such a corupt organization!

Personally its not where you go on sunday, it how you live your life.
Do for others try to live right, and avoid bad stuff, you know what
they are!

God will smile on such behavior


You might like heaven when you get there. Can you imagine what it's
going to feel like in a million years and you have NO CHOICE in the
matter?
--
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent
force for atheism ever conceived." -- Isaac Asimov

On 25 Mar 2007 10:46:55 -0700, "
wrote:

Frankly with religions like catholics where pedophile priests are
protected and moved and pope john paul PROMOTED the worst bishop
bernie law from boston who deserved to be in jail to the vatican, and
bernie helped chose the current pope who shortly later stated
pedophile scandal in US was no big deal your probably better off NOT
in such a corupt organization!

Personally its not where you go on sunday, it how you live your life.
Do for others try to live right, and avoid bad stuff, you know what
they are!

God will smile on such behavior

The pedophile scandal is right in line with the Catholic Church's
prime imperative: Preserve the Church and its hierarchy at all
costs.

We might not have had WW II if the then Pope (who is up for sainthood,
do you believe?) had threatened to excommunicate all Nazis. (Germany
was heavily Catholic at that time.) But he played ball with Hitler,
because he and the rest of the hierarchy cared more about preserving
their Church's structure in Germany than defeating a monster dictator
whose regime went on to murder millions of innocent human beings.

Furthermore, the Church facilitated the escape from Germany after the
war of many prominent Nazis. These criminals lived out their lives in
comfort, in South America *inter alia*. But their victims rotted in
mass graves or had gone up in smoke from the crematoria chimneys.

The American Catholic Church has been steadily pulling away from
Rome over the last decades. It has been opening to a wider role
for women, for one thing. And of course, American Catholics
practice birth control in overwhelming numbers.

Perhaps this pedophile scandal will facilitate the process of
separation.

The American Catholic Church has been steadily pulling away from
Rome over the last decades. *It has been opening to a wider role
for women, for one thing. *And of course, American Catholics
practice birth control in overwhelming numbers.

Perhaps this pedophile scandal will facilitate the process of
separation.

I HOPE it does, the vatican will miss the $$$$

In 1985 I had a near death experience, nearly bled to death. I am
convinced I got a peek at heaven nice place. this experience has
made it easier when people die.

I am very lucky to be alive, it was a very close thing.......

On Sun, 25 Mar 2007 18:34:44 -0400, "Colbyt"
wrote:


"HammerBammer" wrote in message
ups.com...
According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven.

No man. I am going to become a Muslim, blow things up and have many virgins
in Heaven


Those virgins really hate their work (wouldn't you if you were being
forced to do the same thing almost constantly, with no hope of
change). This hatred spreads to all they have contact with.

HammerBammer wrote:

According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven. snip

That's their _first_ fallacy (of many).




--
The e-mail address in our reply-to line is reversed in an attempt to
minimize spam. Our true address is of the form .

On 25 Mar 2007 19:18:00 -0700, "
wrote:


The American Catholic Church has been steadily pulling away from
Rome over the last decades. t has been opening to a wider role
for women, for one thing.
nd of course, American Catholics
practice birth control in overwhelming numbers.

Perhaps this pedophile scandal will facilitate the process of
separation.

I HOPE it does, the vatican will miss the $$$$

In 1985 I had a near death experience, nearly bled to death. I am
convinced I got a peek at heaven nice place. this experience has

What does a smiley mean in a sentence like this?

made it easier when people die.

I am very lucky to be alive, it was a very close thing.......

What happened?

Wow! And to think I've wasted all this time at church when I
could have been just hanging on to an electric wire? Thank you,
again and again.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"HammerBammer" wrote in message
ps.com...
: According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll
never go
: to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to
church. The
: reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and
the wires
: that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our
homes.
: Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires
in your
: home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole
region.
: What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches
that are
: connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an
eternity
: in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.
:

On 25 Mar 2007 19:18:00 -0700, "
wrote:


The American Catholic Church has been steadily pulling away from
Rome over the last decades. t has been opening to a wider role
for women, for one thing.
nd of course, American Catholics
practice birth control in overwhelming numbers.

Perhaps this pedophile scandal will facilitate the process of
separation.

I HOPE it does, the vatican will miss the $$$$

In 1985 I had a near death experience, nearly bled to death. I am
convinced I got a peek at heaven nice place.

That's just the "screen saver". The real place is a torture chamber
:-)

this experience has
made it easier when people die.

I am very lucky to be alive, it was a very close thing.......