According to most religions, if you dont go to church you'll never go
to heaven. But the truth is this: You dont have to go to church. The
reason is that these days all churches have electricity, and the wires
that supply the churches are the same wires that supply our homes.
Rather than going to church, just grab one of those live wires in your
home and you'll be connected to every church in your whole region.
What better way to attend church than to attend ALL churches that are
connected to those wires. Not only will you be guaranteed an eternity
in heaven, but you'll go to heaven almost immediately.