See if you can find the wood working content.

Enjoy

Lew
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Don't get in trouble with these!

When you are over sixty who gives a ****?

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically
said,
"Is that Corona or Bud?"

I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
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I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair
cut,
you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there
instead of you."
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I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a
woman
was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and
said.
"Come on, what day was I born"?

I said,Yesterday"
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I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
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I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "

Hey Lew,
I told that last joke to my younger brother a few months ago and he
quipped "Well you know, most woodworkers are usually boring holes." I
got his joke after a brief thought process.

Marc