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#1
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one
entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. |
#2
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon"
wrote: Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this sort of thing from--you weren't one of them. -- LRod Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999 http://www.woodbutcher.net http://www.normstools.com Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997 email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month. If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't care to correspond with you anyway. |
#3
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"LRod" wrote in message I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. Come on! Right from the get go, it's obvious that it was intended to be a joke. Are we all obligated to be so exactly politically correct that the occasional red neck joke is out of line? And take my word for it, my use of a wheelchair makes me all too aware of what's appropriate and what isn't. Most can tell if there's malice behind any statement and there wasn't a shred of it in Leon's joke. |
#4
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"LRod" wrote in message news I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this sort of thing from--you weren't one of them. Well, I am sorry if it offended you or any one else, I truly am. It was not aimed at any one in general as Texans fall on both sides of liking/ tolerating and not liking/ not tolerating all of the mentioned. The post was not politically correct, but Texans are not always politically correct because we are human, thank goodness. |
#5
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Upscale" wrote in message ... "LRod" wrote in message I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. Come on! Right from the get go, it's obvious that it was intended to be a joke. Are we all obligated to be so exactly politically correct that the occasional red neck joke is out of line? And take my word for it, my use of a wheelchair makes me all too aware of what's appropriate and what isn't. Most can tell if there's malice behind any statement and there wasn't a shred of it in Leon's joke. Bingo!! Consider the source ... this was from the self styled "emergency management expert" who loudly denigrated the "Bubba's in bass boats" who were actually saving lives in Louisiana during the aftermath of Katrina .. something his "trained experts" proved abysmally incapable of doing. .... par for the course. -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 10/22/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#6
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"LRod" wrote in message
news On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon" wrote: Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this sort of thing from--you weren't one of them. What a ****ing dickhead ... -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 10/22/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#7
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Leon" wrote in message ... Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," Quite a few Texans were a long long long time ago. "I Love the Dixie Chicks," I seldom think about the Dixie Chicks. "Boycott Beef," Not me coach. "I Voted for Obama," Lots of Texans did though. "George Strait Sucks," Who? "Hillary in 2012," and For what? "I'm here to confiscate your guns." Sounds like a good idea to me. The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. Jim |
#8
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
LRod wrote:
On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon" wrote: Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this sort of thing from--you weren't one of them. What the hell are you talking about? -- See Nad. See Nad go. Go Nad! To reply, eat the taco. http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/ |
#9
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
So I guess I'd better remove my
"Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales" bumper sticker? Lighten up. Loosen up. There are plenty of actually offensive things going on to cope with - or rant and rail against. |
#10
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 1, 4:12*pm, charlieb wrote:
So I guess I'd better remove my "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales" bumper sticker? Lighten up. *Loosen up. There are plenty of actually offensive things going on to cope with - or rant and rail against. like: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm Oops.. also in Texas. |
#11
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Robatoy" wrote in message ... On Mar 1, 4:12 pm, charlieb wrote: So I guess I'd better remove my "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales" bumper sticker? Lighten up. Loosen up. There are plenty of actually offensive things going on to cope with - or rant and rail against. like: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm Oops.. also in Texas. Are your referring to the video of the cops beating up the girl in the jail cell? That was in Washington state, closer to Canada than Texas. ;!) Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards law enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. this is pretty much common sense. It may not be right that they went after her but they are only human, like her. |
#12
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
Leon wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote in message ... On Mar 1, 4:12 pm, charlieb wrote: So I guess I'd better remove my "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales" bumper sticker? Lighten up. Loosen up. There are plenty of actually offensive things going on to cope with - or rant and rail against. like: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm Oops.. also in Texas. Are your referring to the video of the cops beating up the girl in the jail cell? That was in Washington state, closer to Canada than Texas. ;!) Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards law enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. this is pretty much common sense. It may not be right that they went after her but they are only human, like her. While agreeing with everything you say, I'm still mindful of the fact that it was a 15 year old girl, that there were two trained officers, and that it's pretty much unnecessary to pin someone down and THEN beat them to maintain physical control. Sometimes we're obliged to prove our humanity by exercising adult judgment and self-control, /especially/ in situations like that shown. (2 cents) -- Morris Dovey DeSoto Solar DeSoto, Iowa USA http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/ |
#13
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 1, 7:52*pm, "Leon" wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote in message ... On Mar 1, 4:12 pm, charlieb wrote: So I guess I'd better remove my "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales" bumper sticker? Lighten up. Loosen up. There are plenty of actually offensive things going on to cope with - or rant and rail against. like:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm Oops.. also in Texas. Are your referring to the video of the cops beating up the girl in the jail cell? *That was in Washington state, closer to Canada than Texas. *;!) Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards law enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. *this is pretty much common sense. *It may not be right that they went after her but they are only human, like her. I was agreeing with charlie that there are other offensive things to rant and rave against. ...and that that kinda **** also happens in Texas....and a lot of other places..but Texas came to mind first... |
#14
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
About Texans:
In Texas there is a saying that "You can lead a horse to the water. But you can't make him drink". This pretty much describes most Texans. But you know that another Texan disproved this addage. Actually Two Texans disproved this proverb. It took one Texan to hold the horse's head in the water while the other had to get on the horse's ass and SUCK!!!! Texans are hardheaded. I know - my dad and mom are from Texas... Philski (back after a long hiatus from rec.woodworking) "Leon" wrote in message ... Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. |
#15
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Swingman" wrote in message ... "Upscale" wrote in message ... "LRod" wrote in message I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. Come on! Right from the get go, it's obvious that it was intended to be a joke. Are we all obligated to be so exactly politically correct that the occasional red neck joke is out of line? And take my word for it, my use of a wheelchair makes me all too aware of what's appropriate and what isn't. Most can tell if there's malice behind any statement and there wasn't a shred of it in Leon's joke. Bingo!! Ditto, funny with no malice. I'm from Marble Falls, wife is 5th generation Austinite, she thought it was funny. The PC crowd.....never mind. If you can't say something nice, say nothing. You need be able to laugh at yourself. |
#16
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 1, 1:17*pm, "Leon" wrote:
Well, I am sorry if it offended you or any one else, I truly am. * It was not aimed at any one in general as Texans fall on both sides of liking/ tolerating and not liking/ not tolerating *all of the mentioned. * Why would you apologize? I have seen the hugely sensitive LRod **** hemorrhage enough verbal diarrhea to fill a five gallon bucket if he thinks someone has said something that might be questionable about his plaid demigod. Besides... you've been in the trades long enough to know the old addage... "If they can't take a joke, **** 'em." 'nuff said. Robert |
#17
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 1, 11:00*pm, "philski" wrote:
It took one Texan to hold the horse's head in the water while the other had to get on the horse's ass and SUCK!!!! Hmmm.... sounds like a spew from a denizen of the lesser states... I think it quite odd in my limited travels that I have had to hear from all the open minded folks in New Mexico, Nevada, California etc., that in their "open mindedness" they have such negative opinions about Texas. (I have found many Oklamhomans to be just like Texans, so they don't count.) Most have never been here, and they aren't really sure why, but they many seem to have strong, negative, vocal opinions they simply must share. Strange, too. You would think listening to them that we Texans would be the judgmental folks with big mouths ready to **** blast anyone within range about another's State. Never met more opinionated, judgmental folks in my life (except in Dallas) than when I left the borders here. Get a group of Californians ragging on Texas (even though they haven't personally been here, they all seem to "know" someone from here - and hearsay seems to qualify as personal experience for many) and you can't get a word in edgewise from all the whining. Robert |
#18
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
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#19
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
wrote in message ... On Mar 1, 1:17 pm, "Leon" wrote: Well, I am sorry if it offended you or any one else, I truly am. It was not aimed at any one in general as Texans fall on both sides of liking/ tolerating and not liking/ not tolerating all of the mentioned. Why would you apologize? I did not want to explain that there really was no Easter Bunny. ;~) |
#20
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Morris Dovey" wrote in message ... While agreeing with everything you say, I'm still mindful of the fact that it was a 15 year old girl, that there were two trained officers, and that it's pretty much unnecessary to pin someone down and THEN beat them to maintain physical control. Agreed! Basically they lowered themselves to her level and they should have probably shown more restraint. They simply lowered their guard and acted on her challange. |
#21
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"philski" wrote in message ... About Texans: In Texas there is a saying that "You can lead a horse to the water. But you can't make him drink". This pretty much describes most Texans. But you know that another Texan disproved this addage. Actually Two Texans disproved this proverb. It took one Texan to hold the horse's head in the water while the other had to get on the horse's ass and SUCK!!!! Texans are hardheaded. I know - my dad and mom are from Texas... Philski (back after a long hiatus from rec.woodworking) Now that is funny. Leave it up to a Texan to find a solution, perhaps not one that every one would agree with or do but they get the job done. |
#22
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 2, 4:03*am, "
wrote: Most have never been here, and they aren't really sure why, but they many seem to have strong, negative, vocal opinions they simply must share. I have been to Texas, but only to Temple, Beaumont, and Dallas. The Temple crowd was mostly a bunch of arrogant assholes although a few of the middle management folk were pretty decent people. The Dallas crew was alright and the Beaumont crowd was a hoot. Most shut up when I quoted a few oil numbers that we as Canadians produce and export to the US. And I think it may be an 'oil' thing, because I ran into similar attitudes in Western Canada (Alberta) as I did in Temple. The thing that got the best result was the casual mention that we're the second biggest country in the world, and that Texas was not in first place. G Strange, too. *You would think listening to them that we Texans would be the judgmental folks with big mouths ready to **** blast anyone within range about another's State. *Never met more opinionated, judgmental folks in my life (except in Dallas) than when I left the borders here. I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He has done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined it. So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control. Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens, but they haven't been here either. As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got it'. People's own farts don't stink. ------------ The two Belgian bank-robbers had it all figured out. They'd break into the bank under the cover of darkness, and make their escape by stealing a bus from the bus depot. After the break-in, they walked across to the depot. One stayed with the loot, the other went to steal a bus. That took a loooong time. When he finally came roaring out of the depot, his partner in crime climbed on board and asked him why it took so long. Hs buddy explained that most of the busses said 'Antwerp' on them, and they weren't going there. |
#23
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 2, 3:47*am, "
wrote: Besides... you've been in the trades long enough to know the old addage... "If they can't take a joke, **** 'em." 'nuff said. Robert *GASP!!* |
#24
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Robatoy" wrote in message ... On Mar 2, 4:03 am, " wrote: I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. SPEW-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W !!!! [coffee running out both fingerholes!] He has done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined it. So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control. Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens, but they haven't been here either. As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got it'. People's own farts don't stink. We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. Dave in H-town ------------ The two Belgian bank-robbers had it all figured out. They'd break into the bank under the cover of darkness, and make their escape by stealing a bus from the bus depot. After the break-in, they walked across to the depot. One stayed with the loot, the other went to steal a bus. That took a loooong time. When he finally came roaring out of the depot, his partner in crime climbed on board and asked him why it took so long. Hs buddy explained that most of the busses said 'Antwerp' on them, and they weren't going there. |
#25
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Upscale" wrote in message ... wrote in message Hmmm.... sounds like a spew from a denizen of the lesser states... Possibly, the attitude of superiority from Texans? You just did it yourself by calling other states "lesser", maybe unconsciously, but still done nevertheless. Good observation but all but one state are smaller than Texas. LOL I don't know any Texans much less anybody from the US that I knew was American, so all I can do is voice how it appears to me as an outside observer. A funny observation, my wife, son and I visited her relatives in Burlington, Ontario in 1998. We went in our Pickup badged with our Texas plates. We first visited her aunt in Buffalo, not the one in Texas, proceeding from there she drove her car with my wife on board to lead to us to her sisters house in Burlington. The experience I had and the experience the border guard had should have been filmed and shown on one of the Funniest Video shows on TV. The border guard must have been in his early 20's and was very wise, ;~) to us Texans, especially the ones driving pick up trucks. When we went through the border crossing my wife and her aunt just scooted on through. My ten year son and I were stopped and "questioned". LOL What is your business in Canada? How long are you staying? Do you know what the Canada's policy is, concerning guns being brought in across the border? My comment was, YOU don't like guns and don't allow them. That apparently was the wrong answer. The question was asked again and I kinda snickered out loud. The result from that response was a memorized quote about a specific law concerning gun trafficking across the border. I nodded my head and the border guard then asked If I was bringing in a gun or guns. I responded, No, with a smile. I was hiding sumthin and he could smell the fear! He repeated the memorized quote again and asked if I was bringing in a gun or guns again. I was finally started to realize this young feller was serious or trying to be because he would almost always grin at my answers. Apparently I was not giving the answers that the training course had taught or my Texas accent was throwing him. Finally he said don't get caught with guns here in Canada and told me to proceed to the covered parking area up ahead on the left. I said thank you and proceeded into Canada. As I approached the covered area I saw uniformed personnel disassembling vehicles and spreading their parts out all over the grounds. I veered to the right, caught up with my wife and aunt and chose not to go to the covered parking area to have my new truck disassembled. No police chase or arrests occurred involving me and we went on our merry way. Visiting the aunt in Burlington was fun and uneventful but it was later revealed that her daughter who came to also visit and meet the "Texas relatives" commented, "they were OK, not strange or what at I expected. She was a hoot, eh! We thoroughly enjoyed the visit and put to rest all the preconceived notions about their relatives from Texas. |
#26
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
Dave in Houston wrote:
We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. Heh - it's been a while, but at the last really good Polish bash I went to (pre-glasnost/peristroika, in Chicago) the Poles were telling Russian jokes, and they pretty much sounded like the Italian and Irish jokes I'd heard in New York. I kinda had to wonder if they didn't start out as Greek, Persian, or Egyptian jokes... :-) -- Morris Dovey DeSoto Solar DeSoto, Iowa USA http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/ |
#27
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
Dave in Houston wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote in message ... On Mar 2, 4:03 am, " wrote: I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. SPEW-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W !!!! [coffee running out both fingerholes!] He has done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined it. So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control. Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens, but they haven't been here either. As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got it'. People's own farts don't stink. We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. A fellow from India told me once that in India they tell Sikh jokes. Seems to happen everywhere. Wish I could remember one of 'em. Dave in H-town ------------ The two Belgian bank-robbers had it all figured out. They'd break into the bank under the cover of darkness, and make their escape by stealing a bus from the bus depot. After the break-in, they walked across to the depot. One stayed with the loot, the other went to steal a bus. That took a loooong time. When he finally came roaring out of the depot, his partner in crime climbed on board and asked him why it took so long. Hs buddy explained that most of the busses said 'Antwerp' on them, and they weren't going there. |
#28
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 2, 7:59*am, "Leon" wrote:
Why would you apologize? I did not want to explain that there really was no Easter Bunny. *;~) Alright now... you keep it up and there will be questions about Santa Claus as well. As the kids say, "let's not go there". Can I get a "yee-haw!" ;^) Robert |
#29
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 2, 9:45*am, Morris Dovey wrote:
Dave in Houston wrote: * * We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. Heh - it's been a while, but at the last really good Polish bash I went to (pre-glasnost/peristroika, in Chicago) the Poles were telling Russian jokes, and they pretty much sounded like the Italian and Irish jokes I'd heard in New York. I kinda had to wonder if they didn't start out as Greek, Persian, or Egyptian jokes... Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes. |
#30
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 2, 10:50*am, "J. Clarke" wrote:
Dave in Houston wrote: "Robatoy" wrote in message .... On Mar 2, 4:03 am, " wrote: I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. * *SPEW-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W !!!! [coffee running out both fingerholes!] He has done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined it. So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control. Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens, but they haven't been here either. As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got it'. People's own farts don't stink. * *We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. A fellow from India told me once that in India they tell Sikh jokes. *Seems to happen everywhere. *Wish I could remember one of 'em. For those you need a sikh sense of humour. |
#31
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
wrote in message ... On Mar 2, 7:59 am, "Leon" wrote: Why would you apologize? I did not want to explain that there really was no Easter Bunny. ;~) Alright now... you keep it up and there will be questions about Santa Claus as well. As the kids say, "let's not go there". Can I get a "yee-haw!" ;^) Robert Yeeeee- Hawwwwwwwwww! |
#32
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Dave in Houston" wrote
We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. Yep ... except for the official Aggie hurricane evacuation route out of Houston: 610 Loop. -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 10/22/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#33
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Swingman" wrote in message ... "Dave in Houston" wrote We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. Yep ... except for the official Aggie hurricane evacuation route out of Houston: 610 Loop. LOL, Hilda calls that I-610 In all seriousness, the quickest way to get people out of Houston is to build 3,000,000 rooms 50 miles out side the loop. Then there will actually be some where to for them go and stay. |
#34
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 1, 10:02*am, "Leon" wrote:
Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. WOW Leon - you sure nuff know how to start a political war on the wreck! LOL! Didn't we talk about this when I lived in Texas? MORE LOL! And to think I missed the wreck that much. Just forgot some of the fun that goes on here. I'd seen this before and thinks it's as funny as ever. Having lived in Texas for 21+ years, it gives me the right to laugh. For those of you who don't thanks for the extra chuckle. Come on guys - it's a joke. Is it politically correct? Probably not . . . but then again take a look at Washington and let me know everything there is "politically correct" as well. Right on Leon - Paul Harvey passed away . . . keep the tongue-in-cheek humor alive! J |
#35
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
Morris Dovey wrote:
Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards law enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. this is pretty much common sense. It may not be right that they went after her but they are only human, like her. While agreeing with everything you say, I'm still mindful of the fact that it was a 15 year old girl, that there were two trained officers, and that it's pretty much unnecessary to pin someone down and THEN beat them to maintain physical control. It's obvious you've never been a law enforcement officer! It is ever so much easier to beat someone when they are pinned down. For several reasons, but mainly because it's harder for them to escape. If someone is standing when you whack them with your flashlight, they'll often just run away and, well, there you are. If you study these videos, from Rodney King up to this girl, you'll note that the beatee is almost always on the ground. It's your basic police training kicking in (pardon the pun). Sometimes we're obliged to prove our humanity by exercising adult judgment and self-control, /especially/ in situations like that shown. It's obvious you've never been a law enforcement officer! As a cop, you check your humanity at the door of the precinct house. The lion tamer doesn't deliver Valentine's day chocolates to the big cats, the snake charmer doesn't engage in meaningful dialog with the Cobra. The plumber usually puts on hip boots when down in the sludge pit and a good description for a cop-job is "solid waste disposal." You've got to treat these non-human hazards in an appropriate way or they will kill you. Don't believe me? Check this: Teenagers (well, up to about 20) kill more people than all other age groups combined. |
#36
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
Robatoy wrote:
On Mar 2, 9:45 am, Morris Dovey wrote: Dave in Houston wrote: We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled Polish jokes. Heh - it's been a while, but at the last really good Polish bash I went to (pre-glasnost/peristroika, in Chicago) the Poles were telling Russian jokes, and they pretty much sounded like the Italian and Irish jokes I'd heard in New York. I kinda had to wonder if they didn't start out as Greek, Persian, or Egyptian jokes... Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes. Wanna bet? Very many comedians are Jewish. Here's 193 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jewish_comedians As for Jewish jokes, well: What's a JAP's (Jewish American Princess) favorite wine? "I wanna go to Miami!" How can you tell when a JAP has an orgasm? She drops her nail-file. --- Rabbi: "Of course you can pray in jeans and a t-shirt. You just can't pray HERE in jeans and a t-shirt." --- Man is walking through the Irish countryside when a bandit jumps from the bushes with a gun. The bandit says: "Be ye Protestant or be ye Catholic?" The man, thinking quickly, says "Uh, I'm Jewish!" The bandit grins and says: "Begorrah! I be the luckiest Arab in all of Ireland!" --- During a play in an old Yiddish theater, an actor collapses on the stage. A doctor runs up and kneels beside him. From the back of the balcony a Yiddisha-momma voice calls out: "Give him an enema!" The doctor listens to the actor's heart, stands, and shakes his head. From the back of the balcony: "GIVE HIM AN ENEMA!" The doctor shouts back: "Madam, the actor is DEAD!" Same voice from the balcony, but a little more meekly, "So, it can't hurt..." --- Two Jews meet at a furniture convention. Moshie: "So, how's business?" Arnie: "Good. Last year we had a fire in our Brooklyn warehouse. But we had insurance. Everthing is fine now." Moshie: "Same here. Last year we had a hurricane that wiped out our Miami warehouse, but insurance covered everthing." Arnie: "...So... how do you have a hurricane?" --- A rabbi and his Catholic priest friend take a tumble in their golf cart. As the priest picks himself up, he sees his rabbi friend genuflecting! "Praise be to Jesus, you've seen the light!" says the priest. "No," responds the rabbi, "I was just checking my wallet, my watch, my spectacles, and my testicles." --- I got a million of 'em. |
#37
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
HeyBub wrote:
snippage of Judean adaptations I think all of those were brought back from either Egypt or Babylon. :-) -- Morris Dovey DeSoto Solar DeSoto, Iowa USA http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/ |
#38
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
"Leon" wrote in message by calling other states "lesser", maybe unconsciously, but still done nevertheless. Good observation but all but one state are smaller than Texas. LOL No you don't! A valiant attempt, but you're not exempting "lesser" that easily. |
#39
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 1, 2:03*pm, LRod wrote:
On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon" wrote: Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this sort of thing from--you weren't one of them. -- LRod Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999 http://www.woodbutcher.nethttp://www.normstools.com Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997 email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month. If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't care to correspond with you anyway. OMG, take a joke. Although, I have to say, with the possible exception of Austin, the tone of the joke is dead on. And I've been there a lot. Now, I grew up in NYC, so if I can't take a joke about my home turf I would be in big trouble. And NY is, as we all know, the center of the universe. -Jim |
#40
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT New "Texas Survivors" season
On Mar 2, 3:17*pm, jtpryan wrote:
On Mar 1, 2:03*pm, LRod wrote: On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon" wrote: Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo . From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to Dallas . Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012," and "I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins. I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as attractive as you might think. There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this sort of thing from--you weren't one of them. -- LRod Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999 http://www.woodbutcher.nethttp://www.normstools.com Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997 email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month. If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't care to correspond with you anyway. OMG, take a joke. Although, I have to say, with the possible exception of Austin, the tone of the joke is dead on. And I've been there a lot. Now, I grew up in NYC, so if I can't take a joke about my home turf I would be in big trouble. *And NY is, as we all know, the center of the universe. -Jim I got into a cab in NYC and asked the driver for the time. He snarkily said: "You mean NOW??" |
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