Okay - Steve Knight's request for writing got me started, and tho' he's
found his man... I think my next stop might be David Letterman... or not...

Top Ten Ways to Tell You Might Be a Woodworker:

10) Your wife asks for help fixing dinner, so you build a jig for
crosscutting Asparagas

9) When some drunk at your local watering hole jokes about "a niiiiice
piece of assh" you think wood, not wimmin..

8) You've spent more on your tools than you have on your truck

7) Your birthday is a company holiday at Woodcraft or Rockler's

6) You know that everything at Harbor Freight is odds-on junk, 'ceptin'
for clamps at 1/2 off

5) You can add fractions like nobody's business

4) You know which Unisaw serial numbers are "good"

3) Your dust collector makes your ears pop when you fire it up

2) You can identify which project your scraps came from when using them as
fireplace kindling

And the number one way to tell you may be a woodworker:

1) You have to go get a neighbor to use fingers to count to ten.... (sorry!)