Wed, Jan 7, 2004, 4:37am (EST+5)
(john=A0moorhead) posts:
Okay - Steve Knight's request for writing got me started, and tho' he's
found his man... I think my next stop might be David Letterman... or
not...
Top Ten Ways to Tell You Might Be a Woodworker:

I guess I stored -100% then.

10) =A0 Your wife asks for help fixing dinner, so you build a jig for
crosscutting Asparagas

Not married.

9) =A0 When some drunk at your local watering hole jokes about "a
niiiiice piece of assh" you think wood, not wimmin..

I don't go to bars anymore.

8) =A0 You've spent more on your tools than you have on your truck

It's a used truck, and still probably have more tied up in it than
my tools and shop, combined.

7) =A0 Your birthday is a company holiday at Woodcraft or Rockler's

Nope.

6) =A0 You know that everything at Harbor Freight is odds-on junk,
'ceptin' for clamps at 1/2 off

Harbor Freight has some neat stuff.

5) You can add fractions like nobody's business

It takes a pencil and paper, and even then I'm not always accurate,
so I have to check, and re-check..

4) =A0 You know which Unisaw serial numbers are "good"

Ha, no chance of my buying a Unisaw, in this lifetime.

3) Your dust collector makes your ears pop when you fire it up

No, my dust collector is a broom.

2) You can identify which project your scraps came from when using them
as fireplace kindling

I don't have scraps, only small pieces of wood. Unless mean
sawdust. I've got a fireplace, and havent lit the damn thing in years.

And the number one way to tell you may be a woodworker:
1) You have to go get a neighbor to use fingers to count to ten....
(sorry!)

First time I talked to any of my neighbors in about 5 years, was a
few months ago, in the grocery store.

Bummer.

JOAT
Anyone who hates mimes can't be all bad.

Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 7 Jan 2004.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofal...OMETUNESILIKE/