I tried my hand at "wiping poly."

I had a can that was not well-sealed, that had started to skin over. I
broke the skin, poured the contents into a butter bowl, and diluted to a
guesstimated 50/50 with mineral spirits.

I used this on a test piece, and I didn't like the results at all, so I put
saran wrap over the bowl, put the lid on, and it's been sitting outside
through everything from 70 degrees to 25 degrees for about a month.

When I opened the bowl, there was a crust of whitish, rubbery stuff. When I
broke through that, the glop remaining in the bowl had the consistency of
that slimy amber colored gelatin you find in a cat food can, and was not
sticky at all.

I'm looking for a really obnoxiously horrible looking finish to use on a gag
gift. I slopped that goop all over the project and smeared it around with
a piece of steel wool. It looks like utter hell, which is precisely the
effect I'm after.

I'm just wondering at this point if the stuff will ever cure. After sitting
there for several hours, I can grab handfulls of the goo and sling it
around, and it doesn't seem to be forming any kind of skin.

Is it maybe just too cold, or do I have to come up with something else? It
can sit there and stew for a month if it needs to, if that would be useful.

Any other ideas for an incredibly bad finish that looks like I was *trying*,
but just failed miserably? I can't be the only Christmas smartass out
here.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/