1. Tom Watson
Apr 9 2003, 2:48 pm show options



PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ.


What CAD program should I use to design my Pukey Duck?


AutoCad would be the cheapest way to go. You might try to pick up a
copy of the proprietary CAD program that ILM (Industrial Light and
Magic) uses - might be one on EBray. Lacking that, there's the design
software that NASA uses to build its stuff - O'Deen prolly has a copy
laying around.


Where can I get plans for Pukey Ducks?


JOAT would be happy to give you free plans. He's always happy to
reply to emule requests for free plans from folks just like you.
Hell, if you're in the neighborhood, just stop on by and see him. If
I can find his phone number, I'll cross post it to all of Usenet so
that you'll be sure to see it.


Should I stain my Pukey Duck or leave it natural?


This is one of those religious issues that pops up occassionaly here
on The Wreck. I don't really give a damn what you do.


What are the contest rules?


Who said anything about rules? This is The Wreck, dipstick - and we
don't need no steenkin' rules. Anyway, I'm figuring that we all put
up pictures of our Pukey Ducks and on the Eighth Anniversary (April
24) we'll borrow the Applause Meter from 'Name That Tune' and use it.


Hasn't 'Name That Tune' been off the air for years?


(sound of gunshot) Next question.


Will the competition be broken down into categories?


I was hoping that each of the entries would be so distinctive as to
resist categorization entirely but in a general sense we could have
MOST PUKEY, MOST DUCKY, BEST NEANDER DUQUE, BEST NORMITE DUK, that
sorta thing.


Where should I put up pictures of my completed Pukey Duck?


I don't give a...Oh, that was a previous question. Well, ya could put
them up on ABPW but I'd stay away from ABPF because those guys are a
bunch of elitist pricks and it's best not to get them all fired up.
You could put them up on your personal webspace, provided by your ISP.
You could hack into the CIA website and put them up there, for that
matter.


What kind of finish should I put on my Pukey Duck?


Another religious question. The traditional Pukey Duck finish is dog
pee. It will not be a problem, even for the most neo of neophytes to
achieve the warm amber glow that marks this historically correct
finish. Just set your freshly sanded Pukey Duck on the lawn - dogs
will pass up a bitch in heat to pee on a freshly sanded Pukey Duck.


How many entries can I put up?


It's kinda like they say about Election Day in Philly - 'Vote Early
and Often'. Since there ain't no rules it don't matter how many
entries you put up. You ain't gonna win nuthin' anyways.


Speaking of that - what are the prizes?


(Quoting a Great American) 'Sigh...' You really need to get over
this childish bull**** about prizes and such. Who are we to sit in
judgement over another man's Pukey Duck and therefore who are we to
hand out prizes. Besides, yer talkin' about some seriously cheap
bastuhds, no way anybody's kickin' in to provide prize money for some
stupid Pukey Duck. If the acclaim and huzzahs of yer fellow
rec.normites ain't enough fer ya - bugger off then.


(This Pukey Duck FAQ is a living document. All suggestions will be
carefully considered before being ignored. Have a nice day).


Regards, Tom

Tom Watson - WoodDorker

tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email)

http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/