PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list, so in passing it along
they may get it back.

In article ,
jo4hn wrote:

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

Ain't that the truth....


creak, pop
Rob

"6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way."

Damn. Well, 19 out of 20 ain't bad, I guess.

jo4hn wrote:
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list, so in passing it along
they may get it back.

at "70" you no longer have to do jury duty.
Something for you to look foward to.

"wudbuchr" wrote in message
oups.com...
at "70" you no longer have to do jury duty.
Something for you to look foward to.


Shoot. I'll miss that. I last had jury duty in, IIRC, 1964. Drunk driving
case that lasted almost 45 minutes.

And that bit about sucking in the ol' gut not being a reaction at 50--well,
I'm a few years past that (quite a few) and when my wife's niece walked into
the restaurant yesterday, my gut just intuitively tried to shrink. That
youngster is just short of spectacular. Nice kid, too, for a railroad cop.

On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 18:54:39 -0800, jo4hn
wrote:

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

Clearly written by someone under 30 who has no concept of what 50 will
be like. I'm just about to turn 60 and don't anticipate most of those
kicking in for another ten years.

--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite

Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999

http://www.woodbutcher.net

Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997

In article .com,
" wrote:

"6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way."

Damn. Well, 19 out of 20 ain't bad, I guess.

I thought about that.

I still have a whack of mistakes to make. I just know it.

"wudbuchr" wrote in message
oups.com...
at "70" you no longer have to do jury duty.
Something for you to look foward to.


Something you look forward too? I thought that would be the excitement
factor at 70 along with discussing your BM's with you friends and neighbors.

LRod wrote

"Clearly written by someone under 30 who has no concept of what 50 will
be like. I'm just about to turn 60 and don't anticipate most of those
kicking in for another ten years."

Wow. Best of luck with all those kidnappings. :-) I'm certainly happy
MINE are over with.

On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 22:10:00 -0500, Robatoy
wrote:

In article ,
jo4hn wrote:

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

Ain't that the truth....

*Everything* is more accurate than the national weather service.

On Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:56:27 +0000, LRod wrote:

On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 18:54:39 -0800, jo4hn
wrote:

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

Clearly written by someone under 30 who has no concept of what 50 will
be like. I'm just about to turn 60 and don't anticipate most of those
kicking in for another ten years.

Maybe not even another 20 years. My dad turned 80 this year, he still
farms, Mom still gardens and puts up fruits and vegetables along with
helping load cattle. On his 80'th birthday, Dad and Mom bought a combine.
The only thing that slows Dad down right now is the fact his hips are
giving him problems. They are trying to treat that medically, but he is
most likely going to go in for hip replacement this spring.

Pretty much nothing slows Mom down at all.




+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

"Guess who" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 22:10:00 -0500, Robatoy
wrote:

In article ,
jo4hn wrote:

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

Ain't that the truth....

*Everything* is more accurate than the national weather service.


Yeah. Going outside and looking up usually works for me. I can get pretty
good two day predictions that way, which is more than the weather service
can say.

Nawww...60 is the "new" 50....boomers ain't giving up.

LRod wrote:


PERKS OF BEING OVER 50


Clearly written by someone under 30 who has no concept of what 50 will
be like. I'm just about to turn 60 and don't anticipate most of those
kicking in for another ten years.

Charles Self wrote:
"Guess who" wrote in message
...

On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 22:10:00 -0500, Robatoy
wrote:


In article ,
jo4hn wrote:


17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

Ain't that the truth....

*Everything* is more accurate than the national weather service.



Yeah. Going outside and looking up usually works for me. I can get pretty
good two day predictions that way, which is more than the weather service
can say.


I call the dog in and if he's wet, I predict rain. I'm not sure but
that's what the weather service does.
j4

On Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:20:25 -0800, jo4hn wrote:

Charles Self wrote:
"Guess who" wrote in message
...

On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 22:10:00 -0500, Robatoy
wrote:


In article ,
jo4hn wrote:


17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

Ain't that the truth....

*Everything* is more accurate than the national weather service.



Yeah. Going outside and looking up usually works for me. I can get pretty
good two day predictions that way, which is more than the weather service
can say.


I call the dog in and if he's wet, I predict rain. I'm not sure but
that's what the weather service does.

Not sure what the NWS uses, but one thing for sure is that it doesn't
involve a window to the outdoors.




+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Long ago I worked for the weather bureau and then the weather service
so I know how it was done.
In the old days (pre computer) we used darts, but after computers we
had a program that had a dart game instaled, no more heavy lifting.

jo4hn wrote:
Charles Self wrote:
"Guess who" wrote in message
...

On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 22:10:00 -0500, Robatoy
wrote:


In article ,
jo4hn wrote:


17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

Ain't that the truth....

*Everything* is more accurate than the national weather service.



Yeah. Going outside and looking up usually works for me. I can get pretty
good two day predictions that way, which is more than the weather service
can say.


I call the dog in and if he's wet, I predict rain. I'm not sure but
that's what the weather service does.
j4

I thought the NWS did the weather predictions when they went out for their
first smoke break.... --dave


"jo4hn" wrote in message
...
Charles Self wrote:
"Guess who" wrote in message
...

On Mon, 09 Jan 2006 22:10:00 -0500, Robatoy
wrote:


In article ,
jo4hn wrote:


17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

Ain't that the truth....

*Everything* is more accurate than the national weather service.



Yeah. Going outside and looking up usually works for me. I can get pretty
good two day predictions that way, which is more than the weather service
can say.
I call the dog in and if he's wet, I predict rain. I'm not sure but
that's what the weather service does.
j4

Mark & Juanita wrote:
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

Clearly written by someone under 30 who has no concept of what 50 will
be like. I'm just about to turn 60 and don't anticipate most of those
kicking in for another ten years.

Maybe not even another 20 years. My dad turned 80 this year, he still
farms, Mom still gardens and puts up fruits and vegetables along with
helping load cattle. On his 80'th birthday, Dad and Mom bought a combine.

Dad bought his first jetski at 74. At 77 he had to stop riding after
they had to cut out his voicebox. Given the hole in his neck, he
would've just automatically drowned if he fell off while jumping wakes
out on the river. Otherwise he would've continued to ride until the day
he died.

Dave Hall

Mark & Juanita wrote:
On his 80'th birthday, Dad and Mom bought a combine.
The only thing that slows Dad down right now is the fact his hips are
giving him problems. They are trying to treat that medically, but he is
most likely going to go in for hip replacement this spring.

My Dad is 81. I called up to Kentucky about a month ago and found that
he had loaded up his boat and gone fishing. I told Mom that I was
concerned about Dad being out there in the boat in cold weather by
himself.

"Oh," she responded, "he's not alone. Ben Trail went with him."

Ben is 86. (Isn't Ben Trail a great name?)

"Olebiker" wrote in message
oups.com...

Mark & Juanita wrote:
On his 80'th birthday, Dad and Mom bought a combine.
The only thing that slows Dad down right now is the fact his hips are
giving him problems. They are trying to treat that medically, but he is
most likely going to go in for hip replacement this spring.

My Dad is 81. I called up to Kentucky about a month ago and found that
he had loaded up his boat and gone fishing. I told Mom that I was
concerned about Dad being out there in the boat in cold weather by
himself.

"Oh," she responded, "he's not alone. Ben Trail went with him."

Ben is 86. (Isn't Ben Trail a great name?)


What's really great is their being able to do it, and enjoy it. I'm getting
to the age where 81 is looking younger almost daily, and 86 and on my feet,
and not drooling (too much) is a goal to aim for.

On Wed, 11 Jan 2006 00:22:31 GMT, "Charles Self"
wrote:

"Olebiker" wrote in message
roups.com...

Mark & Juanita wrote:
On his 80'th birthday, Dad and Mom bought a combine.
The only thing that slows Dad down right now is the fact his hips are
giving him problems. They are trying to treat that medically, but he is
most likely going to go in for hip replacement this spring.

My Dad is 81. I called up to Kentucky about a month ago and found that
he had loaded up his boat and gone fishing. I told Mom that I was
concerned about Dad being out there in the boat in cold weather by
himself.

"Oh," she responded, "he's not alone. Ben Trail went with him."

Ben is 86. (Isn't Ben Trail a great name?)


What's really great is their being able to do it, and enjoy it. I'm getting
to the age where 81 is looking younger almost daily, and 86 and on my feet,
and not drooling (too much) is a goal to aim for.


Nuts, after having caught some strep-like bug this past week and being
out sick for two days, I'm 46 and drooling all over myself. Bleah!



+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+