Top marks for lots of cracking ideas!

The loft already has a pull down ladder of the type that doesn't need
mounting on the door, and also when down (as it currently is in one
piece) it hangs over one of the bedroom doors, so distracted spouses
(spouse!) has been known to walk into it. (We also have a large fully
glazed upvc door downstairs, which i've had to stick a picture of
Wallace "Windows are our speciality" onto. since she wlked into it
twice!)

I think splitting it and having it open inwards is the winner.