I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

On 14/03/2019 22:12, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift
to get there quicker.* For goodness sake, they're either trying to
answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the
thing runs at less than half a mile an hour.* Are they powered by
hamsters or something?


Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

--
mailto : news {at} admac {dot} myzen {dot} co {dot} uk

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:12:22 -0000, Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson",
"Steven ******","Bruce Farquar", "Fred Johnson, etc.), the pathological
resident idiot and attention whore of all the uk ngs, blathered again:

FLUSH the sociopathic attention whore's latest idiotic, attention-baiting,
sick bull**** unread again

--
about Birdbrain Macaw's (now "James Wilkinson" LOL)
trolling:
"He is a well known attention seeking troll and every reply you
make feeds him.
Starts many threads most of which die quick as on the UK groups anyone
with sense Kill filed him ages ago which is why he now cross posts to
the US groups for a new audience.
This thread was unusual in that it derived and continued without him
to a large extent and his silly questioning is an attempt to get
noticed again."
MID:

--
ItsJoanNotJoann addressing Birdbrain Macaw's (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"You're an annoying troll and I'm done with you and your
stupidity."
MID:

--
AndyW addressing Birdbrain:
"Troll or idiot?...
You have been presented with a viewpoint with information, reasoning,
historical cases, citations and references to back it up and wilfully
ignore all going back to your idea which has no supporting information."
MID:

--
Phil Lee adressing Birdbrain Macaw:
"You are too stupid to be wasting oxygen."
MID:

--
Phil Lee describing Birdbrain Macaw:
"I've never seen such misplaced pride in being a ****ing moronic motorist."
MID:

--
Tony944 addressing Birdbrain Macaw:
"I seen and heard many people but you are on top of list being first class
ass hole jerk. ...You fit under unconditional Idiot and should be put in
mental institution.
MID:

--
Pelican to Birdbrain Macaw:
"Ok. I'm persuaded . You are an idiot."
MID:

--
DerbyDad03 addressing Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"Frigging Idiot. Get the hell out of my thread."
MID:

--
Kerr Mudd-John about Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"It's like arguing with a demented frog."
MID:

--
Mr Pounder Esquire about Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"the **** poor delivery boy with no hot running water, 11 cats and
several parrots living in his hovel."
MID:

--
Rob Morley about Birdbrain:
"He's a perennial idiot"
MID: 20170519215057.56a1f1d4@Mars

--
JoeyDee to Birdbrain
"I apologize for thinking you were a jerk. You're just someone with an IQ
lower than your age, and I accept that as a reason for your comments."
MID: l-september.org

--
Sam Plusnet about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson Sword" LOL):
"He's just desperate to be noticed. Any attention will do, no matter how
negative it may be."
MID:

--
asking Birdbrain:
"What, were you dropped on your head as a child?"
MID:

--
Christie addressing endlessly driveling Birdbrain Macaw (now "James
Wilkinson" LOL):
"What are you resurrecting that old post of mine for? It's from last
month some time. You're like a dog who's just dug up an old bone they
hid in the garden until they were ready to have another go at it."
MID:

--
Mr Pounder's fitting description of Birdbrain Macaw:
"You are a well known fool, a tosser, a pillock, a stupid unemployable
sponging failure who will always live alone and will die alone. You will not
be missed."
MID:

--
Richard to pathetic ****** Hucker:
"You haven't bred?
Only useful thing you've done in your pathetic existence."
MID:

--
about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
""not the sharpest knife in the drawer"'s parents sure made a serious
mistake having him born alive -- A total waste of oxygen, food, space,
and bandwidth."
MID:

--
Mr Pounder exposing sociopathic Birdbrain:
"You will always be a lonely sociopath living in a ******** with no hot
running water with loads of stinking cats and a few parrots."
MID:

--
francis about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"He seems to have a reputation as someone of limited intelligence"
MID:

--
Peter Moylan about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"If people like JWS didn't exist, we would have to find some other way to
explain the concept of "invincible ignorance"."
MID:

--
Lewis about nym-shifting Birdbrain:
"Typical narcissist troll, thinks his **** is so grand he has the right to
try to force it on everyone."
MID:

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:23:35 +0000, Tim Streater, another mentally
challenged, troll-feeding, senile idiot, driveled:


Why not contact Alton Towers? I understand they have some experience in
that department.

WHAT? And stop baiting all you senile idiots here? Just think of it: you
senile idiots would have no occasion to suck him off, if he stopped setting
out endless baits for you simpletons! G

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:24:42 +0000, anal_m, the notorious troll-feeding
senile idiot, blathered:


Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

YouTube can't suck him off. But you senile troll-feeding idiot's can! BG

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:23:35 -0000, Tim Streater wrote:

In article , Commander Kinsey
wrote:

I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to
get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the
door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less
than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

Why not contact Alton Towers? I understand they have some experience in
that department.

:-)

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:24:42 -0000, alan_m wrote:

On 14/03/2019 22:12, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift
to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to
answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the
thing runs at less than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by
hamsters or something?

Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

Ah, one of my favourite films :-)
Not that I have an evil streak or anything ;-)

On 14/03/2019 22:57, Commander Kinsey wrote:
On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:24:42 -0000, alan_m wrote:

On 14/03/2019 22:12, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift
to get there quicker.* For goodness sake, they're either trying to
answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the
thing runs at less than half a mile an hour.* Are they powered by
hamsters or something?

Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

Ah, one of my favourite films :-)
Not that I have an evil streak or anything ;-)

Are you 10 years old?

Or just that level of maturity?

On 3/14/19 6:07 PM, Fredxx wrote:
On 14/03/2019 22:57, Commander Kinsey wrote:
On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:24:42 -0000, alan_m
wrote:

On 14/03/2019 22:12, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their
stairlift
to get there quicker.* For goodness sake, they're either trying to
answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the
thing runs at less than half a mile an hour.* Are they powered by
hamsters or something?

Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

Ah, one of my favourite films :-)
Not that I have an evil streak or anything ;-)

Are you 10 years old?

Or just that level of maturity?

The only difference between men and boys is the price of our toys.
Me included.

On Thursday, 14 March 2019 22:24:45 UTC, alan_m wrote:

Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

I thought you were going to link to this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECkpAb0QfIw

:-)

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 23:07:58 -0000, Fredxx wrote:

On 14/03/2019 22:57, Commander Kinsey wrote:
On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:24:42 -0000, alan_m wrote:

On 14/03/2019 22:12, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift
to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to
answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the
thing runs at less than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by
hamsters or something?

Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

Ah, one of my favourite films :-)
Not that I have an evil streak or anything ;-)

Are you 10 years old?

Or just that level of maturity?

Actually it was a genuine question. I know several old people and they all get fed up of waiting a few minutes to get to the top or bottom of the stairs, when someone's knocked on the door and will have left by the time they get there, or they need to get to the toilet urgently, and wet themselves before they arrive. The current models of stairlifts are absolutely pitiful. I'm not asking for them to go at absurd speeds, perhaps just the speed a person would walk? Every one I've seen is more the speed a baby would crawl.

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 23:12:55 -0000, Dean Hoffman wrote:

On 3/14/19 6:07 PM, Fredxx wrote:
On 14/03/2019 22:57, Commander Kinsey wrote:
On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:24:42 -0000, alan_m
wrote:

On 14/03/2019 22:12, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their
stairlift
to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to
answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the
thing runs at less than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by
hamsters or something?

Youtube always has the answers
https://youtu.be/wK30R1gsgGk?t=92

Ah, one of my favourite films :-)
Not that I have an evil streak or anything ;-)

Are you 10 years old?

Or just that level of maturity?

The only difference between men and boys is the price of our toys.
Me included.

Indeed, anyone who "grows up" is a boring old fart.

On 3/14/2019 6:12 PM, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker.* For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an
hour.* Are they powered by hamsters or something?


Most have a DC motor and 12 volt SLA battery under the seat. Prolly not legal or safe but you could put an 18 or 24 volt battery pack in, upgrade the charger and hang on.

--
Get off my lawn!

On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 00:30:26 -0000, Grumpy Old White Guy wrote:

On 3/14/2019 6:12 PM, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an
hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

Most have a DC motor and 12 volt SLA battery under the seat. Prolly not legal or safe but you could put an 18 or 24 volt battery pack in, upgrade the charger and hang on.

Legal? Who's going to inspect it? No MOTs on a stairlift. **** THE LAW!

On Friday, 15 March 2019 00:30:29 UTC, Grumpy Old White Guy wrote:
On 3/14/2019 6:12 PM, Commander Kinsey wrote:

I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker.Â* For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an
hour.Â* Are they powered by hamsters or something?


Most have a DC motor and 12 volt SLA battery under the seat. Prolly not legal or safe but you could put an 18 or 24 volt battery pack in, upgrade the charger and hang on.

Reckon you'd have to feed them 240v to get a sensible speed going. You'd need a much more powerful motor. Those cheap hoists go a sensible speed but are very noisy.


NT

In alt.home.repair, on Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:12:22 -0000, "Commander
Kinsey" wrote:

I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

I think the Binford 9x replacement stairlift motor does a good job.
It's 300 amps with a torque of 400 foot-pounds and can lift a 500 pound
man up one flight of stairs in 30 seconds or a 200 pound man in 8
seconds.

You should probably also get the Binford 300 stairlift hydraulic brake,
since it goes so fast you don't want to stop suddently.

On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 20:30:26 -0400, Grumpy Old White Guy, another mentally
deficient, troll-feeding, senile idiot, blathered:


Most have a DC motor and 12 volt SLA battery under the seat. Prolly not
legal or safe but you could put an 18 or 24 volt battery pack in, upgrade
the charger and hang on.

....and another troll-feeding senile idiot appeared who couldn't resist
taking the abnormal Scottish attention whore's latest idiotic bait! LOL

On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 09:36:59 +0200, micky, another brain damaged,
troll-feeding senile idiot, blathered again:


I think

No, you don't, you stupid, troll-feeding ****!

Actually when I asked this question of an installer he said that they are
built to be safe, not rapid, and if they ran faster and jammed then the jolt
may be very dangerous for the occupant.


That to me sounded a bit like 'cos they always are made this way, I only
fit them guv, nothing to do with me'
Still there may be some merit in the plan, unless you really want to wear a
crash helmet, neck brace and a three point harness to use one.
Brian

--
----- --
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...

Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Tim Streater" wrote in message
.. .
In article , Commander Kinsey
wrote:

I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift
to
get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the
door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at
less
than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

Why not contact Alton Towers? I understand they have some experience in
that department.

--
What power have you got?
Where did you get it from?
In whose interests do you use it?
To whom are you accountable?
How do we get rid of you?

Tony Benn

On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 01:43:28 -0000, wrote:

On Friday, 15 March 2019 00:30:29 UTC, Grumpy Old White Guy wrote:
On 3/14/2019 6:12 PM, Commander Kinsey wrote:

I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an
hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?


Most have a DC motor and 12 volt SLA battery under the seat. Prolly not legal or safe but you could put an 18 or 24 volt battery pack in, upgrade the charger and hang on.

Reckon you'd have to feed them 240v to get a sensible speed going. You'd need a much more powerful motor. Those cheap hoists go a sensible speed but are very noisy.

It's not sensible. Old people don't need to go slower than walking speed when they're sat in a chair (which has a seatbelt). Imagine they're desperate for the loo, or want to answer the door to the postman before he goes away.

They have a seatbelt, perfectly adequate for a sudden stop from walking speed. So why should they go a quarter walking speed?


On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 09:06:10 -0000, Brian Gaff wrote:

Actually when I asked this question of an installer he said that they are
built to be safe, not rapid, and if they ran faster and jammed then the jolt
may be very dangerous for the occupant.


That to me sounded a bit like 'cos they always are made this way, I only
fit them guv, nothing to do with me'
Still there may be some merit in the plan, unless you really want to wear a
crash helmet, neck brace and a three point harness to use one.
Brian

"Commander Kinsey" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 01:43:28 -0000, wrote:

On Friday, 15 March 2019 00:30:29 UTC, Grumpy Old White Guy wrote:
On 3/14/2019 6:12 PM, Commander Kinsey wrote:

I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their
stairlift to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either
trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet
themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an
hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?


Most have a DC motor and 12 volt SLA battery under the seat. Prolly not
legal or safe but you could put an 18 or 24 volt battery pack in,
upgrade the charger and hang on.

Reckon you'd have to feed them 240v to get a sensible speed going. You'd
need a much more powerful motor. Those cheap hoists go a sensible speed
but are very noisy.

It's not sensible. Old people don't need to go slower than walking speed
when they're sat in a chair (which has a seatbelt).

Imagine they're desperate for the loo,

Easily fixed with a **** bottle.

or want to answer the door to the postman before he goes away.

Easily fixed with a notice beside the doorbell etc.

"Commander Kinsey" wrote in message
news
They have a seatbelt, perfectly adequate for a sudden stop from walking
speed.

But impossible to guarantee that it will be worn.
And it looks bad if you kill too many people.

So why should they go a quarter walking speed?

Likely because it isnt cheap to go much faster safely.

On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 09:06:10 -0000, Brian Gaff
wrote:

Actually when I asked this question of an installer he said that they are
built to be safe, not rapid, and if they ran faster and jammed then the
jolt
may be very dangerous for the occupant.


That to me sounded a bit like 'cos they always are made this way, I only
fit them guv, nothing to do with me'
Still there may be some merit in the plan, unless you really want to
wear a
crash helmet, neck brace and a three point harness to use one.
Brian

On Sat, 16 Mar 2019 00:59:03 +1100, Jac Brown, better known as cantankerous
trolling senile geezer Rot Speed, wrote:

FLUSH troll****

00:59 am in Australia, and you are already up again? Man, you are even
sicker than the filthy Scottish attention whore you keep sucking off! BG

--
Sqwertz to Rot Speed:
"This is just a hunch, but I'm betting you're kinda an argumentative
asshole.
MID:

On Sat, 16 Mar 2019 00:55:04 +1100, Jac Brown, better known as cantankerous
trolling senile geezer Rot Speed, wrote:


Easily fixed with a **** bottle.

or want to answer the door to the postman before he goes away.

Easily fixed with a notice beside the doorbell etc.

There seems to be no easy fix for you needing to get up EVERY DAY between
MIDNIGHT and FOUR o'clock am, just so you won't miss anything going on on
these groups, you abnormal senile pest! G

--
Norman Wells addressing senile Rot:
"Ah, the voice of scum speaks."
MID:

On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 18:08:37 -0000, Andy wrote:

On Thursday, March 14, 2019 at 5:12:23 PM UTC-5, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

They are not that slow. Stop your complaining.

Yes they are, they're even slower than the equivalent of somebody walking up a flight of stairs one step at a time, one foot at a time, as in both feet on every step. That's ludicrously slow for an infirm person trying to answer the door or a call of nature. They have seatbelts, they could go at least walking speed!

On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 17:47:11 -0000, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:

On 3/14/2019 3:12 PM, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

Wot? Are you askin' if yer brain is hampster-powered?

Can you not read English?

On 2019-03-15 11:49 a.m., Commander Kinsey wrote:
On Fri, 15 Mar 2019 17:47:11 -0000, Colonel Edmund J. Burke
wrote:

On 3/14/2019 3:12 PM, Commander Kinsey wrote:
I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their
stairlift to get there quicker.* For goodness sake, they're either
trying to answer the door, or get to the loo before they wet
themselves, and the thing runs at less than half a mile an hour.* Are
they powered by hamsters or something?

Wot?* Are you askin' if yer brain is hampster-powered?

Can you not read English?


i say rev the stairs up to 60 mph ,
and fling them right across the room at the top ,
or on the down side you can slam them right through the floor