After 20 years of not having a mobile phone, I have finally given in. Mind you, it cost £1200, has no internet and the SIM card is £100 per month for 50 minutes.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg

Simon Mason wrote

After 20 years of not having a mobile phone, I have finally given in.

And ****ed this up even more than you did with the cars.

Mind you, it cost £1200, has no internet and
the SIM card is £100 per month for 50 minutes.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg

Nothing even remotely like the correct tool for the job in fact.

On Friday, 18 November 2016 18:04:15 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
Simon Mason wrote

After 20 years of not having a mobile phone, I have finally given in.

And ****ed this up even more than you did with the cars.

Mind you, it cost £1200, has no internet and
the SIM card is £100 per month for 50 minutes.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg

Nothing even remotely like the correct tool for the job in fact.

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg

On 18/11/2016 18:11, Simon Mason wrote:

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg


Won't you have internet available on the ship? If not, you've been robbed.

On Friday, 18 November 2016 19:03:02 UTC, GB wrote:
On 18/11/2016 18:11, Simon Mason wrote:

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg


Won't you have internet available on the ship? If not, you've been robbed.

It will cost money and won't be available on Svalbard itself.

On Fri, 18 Nov 2016 11:45:37 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Friday, 18 November 2016 19:03:02 UTC, GB wrote:
On 18/11/2016 18:11, Simon Mason wrote:

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg


Won't you have internet available on the ship? If not, you've been robbed.

It will cost money and won't be available on Svalbard itself.

Mobile phones (GSM) can be used in Longyearbyen and Barentsburg.

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote

After 20 years of not having a mobile phone, I have finally given in.

And ****ed this up even more than you did with the cars.

Mind you, it cost £1200, has no internet and
the SIM card is £100 per month for 50 minutes.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg

Nothing even remotely like the correct tool for the job in fact.

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can
call home from the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

Only a fool pays anything like that much to call home from
there, and is stupid enough to be there on something that
doesnt allow you to call home using a normal phone.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Friday, 18 November 2016 19:03:02 UTC, GB wrote:
On 18/11/2016 18:11, Simon Mason wrote:

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from
the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg


Won't you have internet available on the ship? If not, you've been
robbed.

It will cost money

Nothing even remotely like as much as that steaming turd.

and won't be available on Svalbard itself.

Normal phones work fine there.

On Friday, 18 November 2016 23:32:51 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Friday, 18 November 2016 19:03:02 UTC, GB wrote:
On 18/11/2016 18:11, Simon Mason wrote:

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from
the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg


Won't you have internet available on the ship? If not, you've been
robbed.

It will cost money

Nothing even remotely like as much as that steaming turd.

and won't be available on Svalbard itself.

Normal phones work fine there.

I will see if Vodafone have any phone masts in the Arctic Ocean before buying one. My mate Derek will tell you about our 4 hour bike ride the other day where this policewoman could not even phone her mam who was serving coffee in a cafe 200 yards from where she was ringing from in a deep Lincolnshire hollow, never mind Novaya Zemlya (�о�ва� Земл��)

https://goo.gl/maps/3DjVJPCaWau

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Friday, 18 November 2016 23:32:51 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Friday, 18 November 2016 19:03:02 UTC, GB wrote:
On 18/11/2016 18:11, Simon Mason wrote:

You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from
the middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxkFROtWQAECAXg.jpg


Won't you have internet available on the ship? If not, you've been
robbed.

It will cost money

Nothing even remotely like as much as that steaming turd.

and won't be available on Svalbard itself.

Normal phones work fine there.

I will see if Vodafone have any phone masts
in the Arctic Ocean before buying one.

They aint in the ocean, they are on the ships, stupid.

My mate Derek will tell you about our 4 hour bike ride
the other day where this policewoman could not even
phone her mam who was serving coffee in a cafe 200
yards from where she was ringing from in a deep Lincolnshire
hollow, never mind Novaya Zemlya (�о�ва� Земл��)

Hardly the end of civilisation when she couldnt be called.

And it makes no sense to be spending anything like that to be able to call
her.

https://goo.gl/maps/3DjVJPCaWau

On Saturday, 19 November 2016 07:43:09 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:

I will see if Vodafone have any phone masts
in the Arctic Ocean before buying one.

They aint in the ocean, they are on the ships, stupid.

Major disappointment? The internet situation. In my opinion, all ships should have free wifi (I realised there may be techical problems out at sea). Hotels are starting to learn that wifi is as expected as a bed.

I did my research before the first cruise and found that it wasn't worth trying to use the ship's internet at exorbitant prices. I bought a package from a company which I used at port or on land.

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowTo...s-Cruises.html

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote

I will see if Vodafone have any phone masts
in the Arctic Ocean before buying one.

They aint in the ocean, they are on the ships, stupid.

Major disappointment? The internet situation.

Only when you are actually stupid enough to
use a ship that doesnt have what you need.

In my opinion, all ships should have free wifi
(I realised there may be techical problems out at sea).

Nope.

Hotels are starting to learn that wifi is as expected as a bed.

And if you actually have a clue, you dont use one that doesnt,
instead of actually being stupid enough to spend anything like
what that steaming turd costs, that doesnt even have the internet.

I did my research before the first cruise

Nope, you ****ed up completely, as always.

and found that it wasn't worth trying to
use the ship's internet at exorbitant prices.

But was so stupid that you ****ed your money against the wall
so you could call someone who you didnt need to call from there.

I bought a package from a company which I used at port or on land.

More fool you, as always.

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowTo...s-Cruises.html

I must say that I would simply accept/be happy that I couldn't make
phone calls for a while.

On Saturday, 19 November 2016 14:40:43 UTC, GB wrote:
I must say that I would simply accept/be happy that I couldn't make
phone calls for a while.

Same here - never owned one, never missed one.

Simon Mason wrote
GB wrote

I must say that I would simply accept/be happy
that I couldn't make phone calls for a while.

Same here - never owned one, never missed one.

But you've just been stupid enough to buy 3 different
satphones so you can either call home from anywhere
or be called from home while you are anywhere.

On Saturday, 19 November 2016 20:35:11 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
Simon Mason wrote
GB wrote

I must say that I would simply accept/be happy
that I couldn't make phone calls for a while.

Same here - never owned one, never missed one.

But you've just been stupid enough to buy 3 different
satphones so you can either call home from anywhere
or be called from home while you are anywhere.

In fairness he does like to go into the middle of nowhere and injure himself


NT

wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote
GB wrote

I must say that I would simply accept/be happy
that I couldn't make phone calls for a while.

Same here - never owned one, never missed one.

But you've just been stupid enough to buy 3 different
satphones so you can either call home from anywhere
or be called from home while you are anywhere.

In fairness he does like to go into the
middle of nowhere and injure himself

But do we really want him to be rescued at vast expense when that happens ?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Bullimore

On Saturday, 19 November 2016 20:35:11 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
Simon Mason wrote
GB wrote

I must say that I would simply accept/be happy
that I couldn't make phone calls for a while.

Same here - never owned one, never missed one.

But you've just been stupid enough to buy 3 different
satphones so you can either call home from anywhere
or be called from home while you are anywhere.

Yes - I shoot a few pigeons along the way, but when I bag a big fat pheasant it is all worthwhile.

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote
GB wrote

I must say that I would simply accept/be happy
that I couldn't make phone calls for a while.

Same here - never owned one, never missed one.

But you've just been stupid enough to buy 3 different
satphones so you can either call home from anywhere
or be called from home while you are anywhere.

Yes - I shoot a few pigeons along the way, but when I bag a big fat
pheasant

You havent managed anything even remotely like that.

All you have done is **** thousands against the wall to no useful purpose
what so ever.

"Rod Speed" wrote in message
...
Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote
GB wrote

I must say that I would simply accept/be happy
that I couldn't make phone calls for a while.

Same here - never owned one, never missed one.

But you've just been stupid enough to buy 3 different
satphones so you can either call home from anywhere
or be called from home while you are anywhere.

Yes - I shoot a few pigeons along the way, but when I bag a big fat
pheasant

You havent managed anything even remotely like that.

All you have done is **** thousands against the wall to no useful purpose
what so ever.

Hey wodders, you don't think he might be stringing you along?
LMFAO.
A pleasure to watch.

On Saturday, 19 November 2016 22:55:53 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:


Yes - I shoot a few pigeons along the way, but when I bag a big fat
pheasant

You havent managed anything even remotely like that.

All you have done is **** thousands against the wall to no useful purpose
what so ever.

Nope - I never spend a single penny on anything that isn't useful somewhere along the line. For example, I usually spend nothing on clothes or shoes as fashion does not interest me one bit - I prefer utility, so waterproof socks jackets and walking boots - yes, but Armani £400 jumpers, no.

As I am going on two cruises next year, I bought five suits even allowing for the fact that my waist will be 30'' by June after I get down to my riding weight of 11 st 11 lbs by then from 12st 6 lbs now, but I also got a couple of 32'' that fit now.

When I decided to get a new job at my old place of work, I had enough suits and ties for the interview and she was very impressed at my lab technique, sheer knowledge, sartorial elegance and even my Blue Stratos aftershave as back in the 1980's she'd have been on the pull. After all that and my suicide story she more or less said that I was hired.

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote

Yes - I shoot a few pigeons along the
way, but when I bag a big fat pheasant

You havent managed anything even remotely like that.

All you have done is **** thousands against
the wall to no useful purpose what so ever.

Nope - I never spend a single penny on anything
that isn't useful somewhere along the line.

Your problem is that you **** thousands against the wall on stuff
that is pointless to do like ring home while in the artic ocean etc.

And if you are actually stupid enough to ring home there,
it makes a lot more sense to do that using the internet
on the ship or using GSM when in one of the towns.

For example, I usually spend nothing on clothes or shoes as fashion
does not interest me one bit - I prefer utility, so waterproof socks
jackets and walking boots - yes, but Armani £400 jumpers, no.

And **** thousands against the wall on something to call home with, instead
of using the internet on the ship or using GSM when in one of the towns.

And on a stupid watch when you dont need to know the time that accurately.

As I am going on two cruises next year, I bought five suits

Must be mad. Only a terminal ****wit wears a suit on a cruise.

even allowing for the fact that my waist will be 30'' by June
after I get down to my riding weight of 11 st 11 lbs by then
from 12st 6 lbs now, but I also got a couple of 32'' that fit now.

When I decided to get a new job at my old place of work, I had enough
suits and ties for the interview and she was very impressed at my lab
technique, sheer knowledge, sartorial elegance and even my Blue Stratos
aftershave as back in the 1980's she'd have been on the pull. After all
that
and my suicide story she more or less said that I was hired.

And that would have happened without the fancy clothes and aftershave.

On Sunday, 20 November 2016 05:58:28 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:

Your problem is that you **** thousands against the wall on stuff
that is pointless to do like ring home while in the artic ocean etc.

And if you are actually stupid enough to ring home there,
it makes a lot more sense to do that using the internet
on the ship or using GSM when in one of the towns.

In the ARCTIC (artic was the lorry that ran me over), if the ship breaks down and the internet goes tits up, the captain will be glad I am on board, like radio hams are after earthquakes and tornadoes.

Must be mad. Only a terminal ****wit wears a suit on a cruise.

Every day, the Daily Programme suggests, as a guide, a mode of dress for that particular evenings events. Generally there are two €˜formal or gala nights planned on each cruise when many gentlemen wear a dinner jacket, although a lounge suit is quite acceptable.

The ladies on these occasions have a chance to dress up and often opt for evening or cocktail dresses. On evenings proposed as €˜informal, a suit or smart jacket and trousers, with or without a tie, for the men is suggested and the ladies have further opportunities to look elegant in a cocktail dress, trouser suits and stylish co-ordinates.

A €˜casual recommendation often covers evenings spent in port or when a special event such as a deck party is scheduled. In these cases, the choice of dress is left entirely to you.

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote

Your problem is that you **** thousands against the wall on stuff
that is pointless to do like ring home while in the artic ocean etc.

And if you are actually stupid enough to ring home there,
it makes a lot more sense to do that using the internet
on the ship or using GSM when in one of the towns.

In the arctic if the ship breaks down and the internet
goes tits up, the captain will be glad I am on board,

Just another of your pathetic little pig ignorant fantasys.

ALL ships that go there with passengers on them
have what communications facilitys they need.

As I am going on two cruises next year, I bought five suits

Must be mad. Only a terminal ****wit wears a suit on a cruise.

Every day, the Daily Programme suggests, as a guide,
a mode of dress for that particular evenings events.

Suits dont qualify on a cruise.

Generally there are two €˜formal or gala nights planned on each cruise

So you dont need FIVE suits, stupid.

when many gentlemen wear a dinner jacket,

Which even you should have noticed isnt a suit, stupid.

although a lounge suit is quite acceptable.

Only a terminal ****wit wears a suit on a cruise, let alone FIVE of them.

The ladies on these occasions have a chance to dress
up and often opt for evening or cocktail dresses.

Presumably even you have noticed that you arent actually a woman.

And there will be no ladies on the cruises you are going on, just women.

On evenings proposed as €˜informal, a suit or smart jacket
and trousers, with or without a tie, for the men is suggested

Only a terminal ****wit wears a suit on a cruise.

and the ladies have further opportunities to look elegant
in a cocktail dress, trouser suits and stylish co-ordinates.

Presumably even you have noticed that you arent actually a woman.

And there will be no ladies on the cruises you are going on, just women.

A €˜casual recommendation often covers evenings spent in
port or when a special event such as a deck party is scheduled.
In these cases, the choice of dress is left entirely to you.

Wrong again. Show up starkers and you'll get the bums rush.

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Friday, 18 November 2016 18:04:15 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
Simon Mason wrote

After 20 years of not having a mobile phone, I have finally given in.

And ****ed this up even more than you did with the cars.

Mind you, it cost £1200, has no internet and
the SIM card is £100 per month for 50 minutes.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg

Nothing even remotely like the correct tool for the job in fact.


You will be telling me next that a PAYG chavphone can call home from the
middle of the Arctic Sea next August.

why would you need to call home from the middle of the arctic sea next
August? (given that you have admitted to us already that you don't have the
capability to routinely do this on other holidays)

tim

On Sunday, 20 November 2016 10:30:04 UTC, tim... wrote:


why would you need to call home from the middle of the arctic sea next
August?

I always plan years in advance to cope with any situation as I see fit

(given that you have admitted to us already that you don't have the
capability to routinely do this on other holidays)

Our lass's £600 Samsung Galaxy got us out the mire when I broke down in Bavaria last year - oh no, she couldn't use it, so I used Shell's landline instead.

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Saturday, 19 November 2016 22:55:53 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:


Yes - I shoot a few pigeons along the way, but when I bag a big fat
pheasant

You havent managed anything even remotely like that.

All you have done is **** thousands against the wall to no useful purpose
what so ever.

Nope - I never spend a single penny on anything that isn't useful somewhere
along the line. For example, I usually spend nothing on clothes or shoes as
fashion does not interest me one bit - I prefer utility, so waterproof socks
jackets and walking boots - yes, but Armani £400 jumpers, no.

As I am going on two cruises next year, I bought five suits even allowing
for the fact that my waist will be 30'' by June after I get down to my
riding weight of 11 st 11 lbs by then from 12st 6 lbs now, but I also got a
couple of 32'' that fit now.

When I decided to get a new job at my old place of work, I had enough suits
and ties for the interview and she was very impressed at my lab technique,
sheer knowledge, sartorial elegance and even my Blue Stratos aftershave as
back in the 1980's she'd have been on the pull. After all that and my
suicide story she more or less said that I was hired.

Prick.

Simon Mason wrote
tim... wrote

why would you need to call home from
the middle of the arctic sea next August?

I always plan years in advance to cope with any situation as I see fit

But due to your ear to ear dog **** you can't even manage
to work out that any passenger carrying ship you could be on
there would have perfectly adequate ways of communicating
if the **** does hit the fan for that ship or anyone on it and
that you dont actually need to call home every day from
there, or to keep sucking your thumb when you can't either.

(given that you have admitted to us already that you don't
have the capability to routinely do this on other holidays)

On Sunday, 20 November 2016 11:06:59 UTC, bm wrote:


When I decided to get a new job at my old place of work, I had enough suits
and ties for the interview and she was very impressed at my lab technique,
sheer knowledge, sartorial elegance and even my Blue Stratos aftershave as
back in the 1980's she'd have been on the pull. After all that and my
suicide story she more or less said that I was hired.

Prick.

Even given all that, I have subsequently applied for 10 jobs that I could do with my eyes closed in the range £22000 - £28000 as a back up in case some kid from the Jeremy Kyle show turns up with a PhD in Organic Chemistry and bags mine.

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Sunday, 20 November 2016 11:06:59 UTC, bm wrote:


When I decided to get a new job at my old place of work, I had enough
suits
and ties for the interview and she was very impressed at my lab technique,
sheer knowledge, sartorial elegance and even my Blue Stratos aftershave as
back in the 1980's she'd have been on the pull. After all that and my
suicide story she more or less said that I was hired.

Prick.

Even given all that, I have subsequently applied for 10 jobs that I could do
with my eyes closed in the range £22000 - £28000 as a back up in case some
kid from the Jeremy Kyle show turns up with a PhD in Organic Chemistry and
bags mine.

These jobs you could do with eyes closed, any driving jobs or maybe
collecting litter from motorways?

On Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:49:29 UTC, bm wrote:

These jobs you could do with eyes closed, any driving jobs or maybe
collecting litter from motorways?

Do they pay £28000?, if not, I don't want to know.

On 20/11/2016 20:54, Simon Mason wrote:
On Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:49:29 UTC, bm wrote:

These jobs you could do with eyes closed, any driving jobs or maybe
collecting litter from motorways?

Do they pay £28000?, if not, I don't want to know.


If anyone here is proposing to do a driving job with their eyes closed,
could you kindly post a warning first, please?

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:49:29 UTC, bm wrote:

These jobs you could do with eyes closed, any driving jobs or maybe
collecting litter from motorways?

Do they pay £28000?, if not, I don't want to know.

We could have a whip-round.