I was loitering in the beer section of Morrisons and there was an
attractive woman in her thirties picking up bottles, peering at them,
and putting a few in her trolley. Like all old men I will do anything to
engage in conversation with passable ladies half my age, so I asked,
"Having trouble choosing?"

"Yes I am!" she replied. "It's for his birthday. But they've got to be
on special offer or he's not having them!"

"Oh, surely you can get him a few really nice ones if it's for his
birthday!"

She scowled at this suggestion, but I sailed on, saying grandly, "Let us
broaden his horizons!"

As I was pointing out various stouts and dark bitters she snapped, "He
only drinks pale beers, and anyway he likes lager best. And he manages a
pub so he knows his own mind."

So that telled me, and chastened I went about my business, but as it
happened our paths crossed in Housewares. She gave me a tiny smile and I
saw that she'd taken all the bottles out of her trolley and had replaced
them with a pack of Stella.

Bill

Bill Wright wrote:

As I was pointing out various stouts and dark bitters she snapped, "He
only drinks pale beers, and anyway he likes lager best. And he manages a
pub so he knows his own mind."

So that telled me, and chastened I went about my business, but as it
happened our paths crossed in Housewares. She gave me a tiny smile and I
saw that she'd taken all the bottles out of her trolley and had replaced
them with a pack of Stella.

Coals to Newcastle?

Chris
--
Chris J Dixon Nottingham UK


Plant amazing Acers.

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
I was loitering in the beer section of Morrisons and there was an
attractive woman in her thirties picking up bottles, peering at them, and
putting a few in her trolley. Like all old men I will do anything to engage
in conversation with passable ladies half my age,

Half your age when she in her thirties?

So that's a woman in her early thirties then:-)?

Yep I agree - women in their thirtys are well shagable.

--
Adam

If he managed a pub, seems a bit like a busman's holiday to buy him beer for
his birthday.
One should be more inventive surely?

A book of humorous 'spontaneous' quotes to use on staff and punters is one
idea, or how about a diy relaxation DVD?
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
I was loitering in the beer section of Morrisons and there was an
attractive woman in her thirties picking up bottles, peering at them, and
putting a few in her trolley. Like all old men I will do anything to engage
in conversation with passable ladies half my age, so I asked, "Having
trouble choosing?"

"Yes I am!" she replied. "It's for his birthday. But they've got to be on
special offer or he's not having them!"

"Oh, surely you can get him a few really nice ones if it's for his
birthday!"

She scowled at this suggestion, but I sailed on, saying grandly, "Let us
broaden his horizons!"

As I was pointing out various stouts and dark bitters she snapped, "He
only drinks pale beers, and anyway he likes lager best. And he manages a
pub so he knows his own mind."

So that telled me, and chastened I went about my business, but as it
happened our paths crossed in Housewares. She gave me a tiny smile and I
saw that she'd taken all the bottles out of her trolley and had replaced
them with a pack of Stella.

Bill

In message , ARW
writes

Yep I agree - women in their thirtys are well shagable.

Isn't that an age thing? I have finally realised that the world is not
full of lusty 18 year olds dreaming of nothing more than bonking a fat,
bald 60+ year old. When I was 18, 50 was *old*. Now, at 62, I notice
crumpet at 30+, 40+ and 50+. Yeah, there are some dogs, especially
those (hypocrite alert) who need a wheelbarrow for their gut and a
trailer for their arse, but there are plenty of tasty birds out there.

Being a married man, I don't notice any of them, of course.
--
Graeme

On Wed, 15 Jul 2015 20:58:06 +0100, News wrote:

In message , ARW
writes

Yep I agree - women in their thirtys are well shagable.

Isn't that an age thing? I have finally realised that the world is not
full of lusty 18 year olds dreaming of nothing more than bonking a fat,
bald 60+ year old. When I was 18, 50 was *old*. Now, at 62, I notice
crumpet at 30+, 40+ and 50+. Yeah, there are some dogs, especially
those (hypocrite alert) who need a wheelbarrow for their gut and a
trailer for their arse, but there are plenty of tasty birds out there.

Couldn't agree more.

Being a married man, I don't notice any of them, of course.

+1 !

"News" wrote in message
...
In message , ARW
writes

Yep I agree - women in their thirtys are well shagable.

Isn't that an age thing? I have finally realised that the world is not
full of lusty 18 year olds dreaming of nothing more than bonking a fat,
bald 60+ year old. When I was 18, 50 was *old*. Now, at 62, I notice
crumpet at 30+, 40+ and 50+. Yeah, there are some dogs, especially those
(hypocrite alert) who need a wheelbarrow for their gut and a trailer for
their arse, but there are plenty of tasty birds out there.

Being a married man, I don't notice any of them, of course.

I still use the test "is her mother still shaggable?"



--
Adam

On Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:17:52 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
"News" wrote in message
...
In message , ARW
writes

Yep I agree - women in their thirtys are well shagable.

Isn't that an age thing? I have finally realised that the world is not
full of lusty 18 year olds dreaming of nothing more than bonking a fat,
bald 60+ year old. When I was 18, 50 was *old*. Now, at 62, I notice
crumpet at 30+, 40+ and 50+. Yeah, there are some dogs, especially those
(hypocrite alert) who need a wheelbarrow for their gut and a trailer for
their arse, but there are plenty of tasty birds out there.

Being a married man, I don't notice any of them, of course.

I still use the test "is her mother still shaggable?"

Does that change if their mother has passed away ;-)