Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
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|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

In article , John
Rumm writes
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...971/Are-you-a-
real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

Those are clearly trick questions, I think we both passed.

I think 10 counts as one too as the only correct answer can be zero :-)

--
fred
it's a ba-na-na . . . .

On 14/02/2015 02:54, fred wrote:
In article , John
Rumm writes
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...971/Are-you-a-

real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

Those are clearly trick questions, I think we both passed.

I think 10 counts as one too as the only correct answer can be zero :-)


The correct answer is why do I need perfume? The woman chooses the
perfume that turns her on, it has no good effect on men.

As for 18, I know the rule but I don't watch football and I don't care
what the results are or if Chelsea are going to win.

Real men don't give a toss what a group of "experts" come up with either.

On 14 Feb 2015, fred grunted:

In article , John
Rumm writes
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...1408971/Are-yo
u-a- real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

+1

Those are clearly trick questions, I think we both passed.

In any case, those are all a single question: "Gives a **** about about
football"...

And where's Rugby in that quiz? Not that it would have made any difference
to my score, but my late dad - a real man if ever there was one - was a
complete fanatic and regarded football as a "game for pouffs". Mind you, I
imagine the authors of this quiz would have instantly used that particular
criterion to flag him as 'not a real man'...

--
David

John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

That is total ******** written by someone who hasn't lived. Here's a
better version:


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, dont deal in lies,
Or being hated, dont give way to hating,
And yet dont look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream€”and not make dreams your master;
If you can think€”and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth youve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: €˜Hold on!
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings€”nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything thats in it,
And€”which is more€”youll be a Man, my son!

Bill

In article ,
Bill Wright wrote:
John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

That is total ******** written by someone who hasn't lived. Here's
a better version:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

....

Written[1] by Rudyard Kipling in 1895[2][3]. Hardly new stuff.
Except, perhaps, to Torygraph journalists.

[1] See mum! My O-level in English Literature *is* of use!

[2] http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If%E2%80%94
--
Dennis Davis

Dennis Davis wrote:
In article ,
Bill Wright wrote:
John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

That is total ******** written by someone who hasn't lived. Here's
a better version:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

...

Written[1] by Rudyard Kipling in 1895[2][3]. Hardly new stuff.
Except, perhaps, to Torygraph journalists.

Of course it's Rudyard Kipling. Everyone knows that! And why does it
need to be new when it concerns the eternal verities?

And I'd guess that Telegraph journalists are quite well educated, unlike
some I could mention.

Bill

On 14/02/2015 20:40, Bill Wright wrote:
Dennis Davis wrote:
In article ,
Bill Wright wrote:
John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

That is total ******** written by someone who hasn't lived. Here's
a better version:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

...

Written[1] by Rudyard Kipling in 1895[2][3]. Hardly new stuff.
Except, perhaps, to Torygraph journalists.

Of course it's Rudyard Kipling. Everyone knows that! And why does it
need to be new when it concerns the eternal verities?

And I'd guess that Telegraph journalists are quite well educated, unlike
some I could mention.

I think it was easy "news" - pretty much every paper and its dog carried
the same story...


--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
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|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On 14/02/2015 02:21, John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html


(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

Exactly the same!

The flannelled fools at the wicket ... the muddied oafs at the goals etc.



--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On 14/02/2015 02:21, John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html


(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)


Much the same, except that I do happen to know the offside rule and 1
doesn't apply as we have never married.

--
Colin Bignell

On 14/02/2015 11:11, Nightjar "cpb"@ wrote:
On 14/02/2015 02:21, John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html



(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)


Much the same, except that I do happen to know the offside rule and 1
doesn't apply as we have never married.

There was a moment where I though SWMBO was going to score better than
me on that list since she claims to understand the offside rule. However
on closer interrogation it seems she did not know about the need to fill
the new oil filter prior to fitting when changing the oil ;-)


--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
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|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On 14/02/2015 23:27, John Rumm wrote:


There was a moment where I though SWMBO was going to score better than
me on that list since she claims to understand the offside rule. However
on closer interrogation it seems she did not know about the need to fill
the new oil filter prior to fitting when changing the oil ;-)



You don't so I guess you lose.
In fact its impossible on many cars as the cartridge doesn't hang down
and it would just spill out.

Dennis@home wrote:

You don't so I guess you lose.
In fact its impossible on many cars as the cartridge doesn't hang down
and it would just spill out.

What nonsense. What you do is fill it with water then put it in the
freezer overnight. Then it doesn't spill when you fit it. Don't you know
anything Denis?

Bill

On 15/02/2015 02:59, Bill Wright wrote:
Dennis@home wrote:

You don't so I guess you lose.
In fact its impossible on many cars as the cartridge doesn't hang down
and it would just spill out.

What nonsense. What you do is fill it with water then put it in the
freezer overnight. Then it doesn't spill when you fit it. Don't you know
anything Denis?

Bill

Don't they sell them pre split so idiots don't have to do it in the freezer?

On 14/02/2015 23:35, Dennis@home wrote:
On 14/02/2015 23:27, John Rumm wrote:


There was a moment where I though SWMBO was going to score better than
me on that list since she claims to understand the offside rule. However
on closer interrogation it seems she did not know about the need to fill
the new oil filter prior to fitting when changing the oil ;-)



You don't so I guess you lose.

It is a wise precaution, as it avoids oil starvation at start-up.

In fact its impossible on many cars as the cartridge doesn't hang down
and it would just spill out.

In the ones I know, you poured it into the central hole in the thread,
put your finger over that as you brought the cartridge into position,
then quickly removed it as you lined the thread up with the hole in the
engine block. A bit of oil would escape, but most of it would stay
inside the cartridge.


--
Colin Bignell

On 15/02/2015 15:37, Nightjar "cpb"@ wrote:
On 14/02/2015 23:35, Dennis@home wrote:
On 14/02/2015 23:27, John Rumm wrote:


There was a moment where I though SWMBO was going to score better than
me on that list since she claims to understand the offside rule. However
on closer interrogation it seems she did not know about the need to fill
the new oil filter prior to fitting when changing the oil ;-)



You don't so I guess you lose.

It is a wise precaution, as it avoids oil starvation at start-up.

In fact its impossible on many cars as the cartridge doesn't hang down
and it would just spill out.

In the ones I know, you poured it into the central hole in the thread,
put your finger over that as you brought the cartridge into position,
then quickly removed it as you lined the thread up with the hole in the
engine block. A bit of oil would escape, but most of it would stay
inside the cartridge.



They haven't used cartridges like that for years AFAIK. They are all in
one things that screw onto the filter mount these days.
In fact they were like that when I used to service my own more than
thirty years ago. You used to bash a screwdriver through them to get
them off if you didn't have a suitable strap wrench. You could screw
them on by hand.

On 14/02/2015 23:27, John Rumm wrote:

There was a moment where I though SWMBO was going to score better than
me on that list since she claims to understand the offside rule. However
on closer interrogation it seems she did not know about the need to fill
the new oil filter prior to fitting when changing the oil ;-)

Bugger, is that one down for me? I've never filled a new oil filter. I
put some oil on the rubber seal, but that's it.

John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

Oh yes I am a real man. Though I haven't changed a car's oil for decades
and the procedure might have changed for all I know.

--
Mike Barnes
Cheshire, England

On Sat, 14 Feb 2015 12:56:32 +0000, Mike Barnes
wrote:

John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

Oh yes I am a real man. Though I haven't changed a car's oil for decades
and the procedure might have changed for all I know.

No, the dipstick hole is still as narrow ;-)


--

Graham.

%Profound_observation%

Graham. wrote:
On Sat, 14 Feb 2015 12:56:32 +0000, Mike Barnes
wrote:

John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

Oh yes I am a real man. Though I haven't changed a car's oil for decades
and the procedure might have changed for all I know.

No, the dipstick hole is still as narrow ;-)



Ha! You wish! Never the same after childbirth, or are we talking about the
same thing?

Tim

On Saturday, 14 February 2015 02:21:56 UTC, John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

4. How to tie up a tie

I tie a tie; isn't tying up something to do with Fifty Shades?

17. When to accept defeat and apologise

I never accept defeat and I never apologise.

Another 8 are aimed at car drivers. I don't drive, but I can ride a motorbike. Not that I have ever ridden one with a petrol light. Real men wiggle the bike and listen to the tank sloshing.

Owain

On Sat, 14 Feb 2015 05:06:03 -0800 (PST),
wrote:



I don't drive, but I can ride a motorbike. Not that I have ever ridden one with a petrol light. Real men wiggle the bike and listen to the tank sloshing.

Owain

Or like a teacher at our school despite having numerous letters in his
signature which indicated his academic ability unscrewed the cap,found
it a bit dark inside and flicked his lighter to illuminate it.
Fortunately got away with a singeing of eyebrows and other facial
hair.

G.Harman

On Saturday, 14 February 2015 02:21:56 UTC, John Rumm wrote:
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

Who is the smug nancy in your picture?

"John Rumm" wrote in message
o.uk...
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

--
Cheers,

Seems that I'm a real man, but that was always obvious.

Incidentally, one of the most impressive people I every knew when it
came to the manly virtues (compassion, reliability, industry, tolerance)
was gay.

Bill

In article ,
Bill Wright wrote:
Incidentally, one of the most impressive people I every knew when it
came to the manly virtues (compassion, reliability, industry, tolerance)
was gay.

Interesting you consider them manly virtues. I'd hope they'd equally apply
to a woman. Or more simply any decent person.

--
*I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
Bill Wright wrote:
Incidentally, one of the most impressive people I every knew when it
came to the manly virtues (compassion, reliability, industry, tolerance)
was gay.

Interesting you consider them manly virtues. I'd hope they'd equally apply
to a woman. Or more simply any decent person.

I did think about that when I wrote it. But I just let it go.

Bill

On Sat, 14 Feb 2015 02:21:45 +0000, John Rumm wrote:

Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...08971/Are-you-
a-real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)

Snap.

Noted the William Hill bias.

Now, what it the status of a woman who can ace this quiz?

If that makes her a real man, then does that mean that you are having sex
with a real man?? ;-)
If so, do you care?


--
Windows 8.1 on PCSpecialist box

"John Rumm" wrote in message
o.uk...
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ould-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)


1. Not married, but I remember the date of our first shag. It was on the
night our first date and England won 1-0 against Paraguary that night
7. Could do - never have done
8. Change a tyre? Can do but I normally use the spare wheel
12. Once a month. Just ignore her for a week.
18. http://www.bone.me.uk/offside-rule.php
37. Pretty good at that
45. The talent is in getting it stuck
47. It's her job
48. Yes - I saved a pet rats life with CPR



--
Adam

In article ,
"ARW" wrote:

"John Rumm" wrote in message
o.uk...
Dumb survey but still:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...71/Are-you-a-r
eal-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)


1. Not married, but I remember the date of our first shag. It was on the
night our first date and England won 1-0 against Paraguary that night
7. Could do - never have done
8. Change a tyre? Can do but I normally use the spare wheel
12. Once a month. Just ignore her for a week.
18. http://www.bone.me.uk/offside-rule.php
37. Pretty good at that
45. The talent is in getting it stuck
47. It's her job
48. Yes - I saved a pet rats life with CPR

Apparently you have to have a smartphone and app it, because it inlt
gave me about 30 question in my browser. However (pending completion) I
am a real man, apparently.


But what I really wanted to say was:
(a) Love your point No.8 Adam, and
(b) thanks for the link to the bone.me site: perfect (though of course
it needs updating with references to other friends beside or ahead of
you in the queue, and whether or not they grab the purse for you).

(I am curious about the question No.45 in the real man quiz - I never
saw it. I can guess though.)

J.

In article ],
Another John wrote:

Apparently you have to have a smartphone and app it, because it inlt
^^^^
Further proof of my becoming a real man: TNP-stylee typing!

J.

In message , ARW
writes
"John Rumm" wrote in message
news:r_adneN6T4XcLEPJnZ2dnUVZ8gqdnZ2d@brightview. co.uk...
Dumb survey but still:


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...1408971/Are-yo
u-a-real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

(apparently I failed... on 18, 31, 35, & 50)


1. Not married, but I remember the date of our first shag. It was on
the night our first date and England won 1-0 against Paraguary that
night
7. Could do - never have done
8. Change a tyre? Can do but I normally use the spare wheel
12. Once a month. Just ignore her for a week.
18. http://www.bone.me.uk/offside-rule.php
37. Pretty good at that
45. The talent is in getting it stuck
47. It's her job
48. Yes - I saved a pet rats life with CPR



18 Nobody now knows the off-side rule.

Nothing about understanding cricket.
--
bert

On Tuesday, 17 February 2015 20:24:51 UTC, ARW wrote:
1. Not married, but I remember the date of our first shag. It was on the
night our first date and England won 1-0 against Paraguary that night

How romantic.

I can't even remember the date of my last shag.

Owain

/How romantic.

I can't even remember the date of my last shag.

Owain/q

Perhaps you should've apologised :-)

Jim K

In message ,
writes
On Tuesday, 17 February 2015 20:24:51 UTC, ARW wrote:
1. Not married, but I remember the date of our first shag. It was on the
night our first date and England won 1-0 against Paraguary that night

How romantic.

I can't even remember the date of my last shag.

Owain

Wonder if Adam scored before or after England.
--
bert

In message ,
writes
On Tuesday, 17 February 2015 20:24:51 UTC, ARW wrote:
1. Not married, but I remember the date of our first shag. It was on the
night our first date and England won 1-0 against Paraguary that night

How romantic.

I can't even remember the date of my last shag.

Owain

In which case you could claim you were raped.
--
bert

On Thursday, 19 February 2015 13:57:13 UTC, bert wrote:
I can't even remember the date of my last shag.
In which case you could claim you were raped.

Oh no, I remember the shag.

Just not the date.

Or the names.

Owain

On Fri, 20 Feb 2015 02:47:51 -0800, spuorgelgoog wrote:

On Thursday, 19 February 2015 13:57:13 UTC, bert wrote:
I can't even remember the date of my last shag.
In which case you could claim you were raped.

Oh no, I remember the shag.

Just not the date.

Or the names.

Plural????

I remember the first - and the date and place and name.

--
My posts are my copyright and if @diy_forums or Home Owners' Hub
wish to copy them they can pay me £30a message.
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor