With me, it's one of the following:
1. The woman reading the news on Sky News gets very attractive
2. The bottom of the lavatory bowl seems to move towards and away from me
3. My **** stream amuses me
4. The left side of my upper lip twitches
5. It seems feasible to repair the body rot on the motorhome
6. I start to fry bacon
7. I decide that another pint and then a rum won't do any harm
8. I walk with my fingers brushing against the doors and walls, and feel
that this puts power into my body
9. I go on Facebook and alienate a lot of people
10. I listen to an American C & W station.

Later:
1. There's something wrong with my eyes
2. I wish I hadn't eaten all that bacon and sausage and mushrooms
3. Must get this uneven floor fixed
4. The rapid sideways movement of the bedroom ceiling must surely be
illusory, and why am I dressed?

Bill

Bill Wright wrote:
With me, it's one of the following:
1. The woman reading the news on Sky News gets very attractive
2. The bottom of the lavatory bowl seems to move towards and away from me
3. My **** stream amuses me
4. The left side of my upper lip twitches
5. It seems feasible to repair the body rot on the motorhome
6. I start to fry bacon
7. I decide that another pint and then a rum won't do any harm
8. I walk with my fingers brushing against the doors and walls, and feel
that this puts power into my body
9. I go on Facebook and alienate a lot of people
10. I listen to an American C & W station.

Later:
1. There's something wrong with my eyes
2. I wish I hadn't eaten all that bacon and sausage and mushrooms
3. Must get this uneven floor fixed
4. The rapid sideways movement of the bedroom ceiling must surely be
illusory, and why am I dressed?

A friend of mine told me she was allergic to leather. Her evidence:
whenever she woke up with her shoes on, she had a headache.

--
Mike Barnes
Cheshire, England

On 05/06/2014 06:04, Bill Wright wrote:
With me, it's one of the following:
1. The woman reading the news on Sky News gets very attractive

The woman in the kebab shop gets very attractive

Bill Wright wrote:
With me, it's one of the following:
1. The woman reading the news on Sky News gets very attractive
2. The bottom of the lavatory bowl seems to move towards and away from me
3. My **** stream amuses me
4. The left side of my upper lip twitches
5. It seems feasible to repair the body rot on the motorhome
6. I start to fry bacon
7. I decide that another pint and then a rum won't do any harm
8. I walk with my fingers brushing against the doors and walls, and feel
that this puts power into my body
9. I go on Facebook and alienate a lot of people
10. I listen to an American C & W station.

Later:
1. There's something wrong with my eyes
2. I wish I hadn't eaten all that bacon and sausage and mushrooms
3. Must get this uneven floor fixed
4. The rapid sideways movement of the bedroom ceiling must surely be
illusory, and why am I dressed?

Bill
Yes all those things and I don't drink alcohol.

In message om, F
Murtz writes
Bill Wright wrote:
With me, it's one of the following:
1. The woman reading the news on Sky News gets very attractive
2. The bottom of the lavatory bowl seems to move towards and away from me
3. My **** stream amuses me
4. The left side of my upper lip twitches
5. It seems feasible to repair the body rot on the motorhome
6. I start to fry bacon
7. I decide that another pint and then a rum won't do any harm
8. I walk with my fingers brushing against the doors and walls, and feel
that this puts power into my body
9. I go on Facebook and alienate a lot of people
10. I listen to an American C & W station.

Later:
1. There's something wrong with my eyes
2. I wish I hadn't eaten all that bacon and sausage and mushrooms
3. Must get this uneven floor fixed
4. The rapid sideways movement of the bedroom ceiling must surely be
illusory, and why am I dressed?

Bill
Yes all those things and I don't drink alcohol.

Sadly a single glass of wine with supper causes such a volume change in
my snoring that sharing a bed becomes a problem:-(

--
Tim Lamb

In article , Tim Lamb
wrote:
In message om, F
Murtz writes
Bill Wright wrote:
With me, it's one of the following: 1. The woman reading the news on
Sky News gets very attractive 2. The bottom of the lavatory bowl seems
to move towards and away from me 3. My **** stream amuses me 4. The
left side of my upper lip twitches 5. It seems feasible to repair the
body rot on the motorhome 6. I start to fry bacon 7. I decide that
another pint and then a rum won't do any harm 8. I walk with my
fingers brushing against the doors and walls, and feel that this puts
power into my body 9. I go on Facebook and alienate a lot of people
10. I listen to an American C & W station.

Later: 1. There's something wrong with my eyes 2. I wish I hadn't
eaten all that bacon and sausage and mushrooms 3. Must get this uneven
floor fixed 4. The rapid sideways movement of the bedroom ceiling must
surely be illusory, and why am I dressed?

Bill
Yes all those things and I don't drink alcohol.

Sadly a single glass of wine with supper causes such a volume change in
my snoring that sharing a bed becomes a problem:-(

try 2 - or even 3 - to see if it acts as a silencer

--
From KT24

Using a RISC OS computer running v5.18

On Thu, 05 Jun 2014 11:06:18 +0100, Tim Streater wrote:

Bill Wright wrote:

10. I listen to an American C & W station.

The mere existence of such stations, never mind listening to them,
should be a capital offence.

Unfortunately our neighbours have started playing C&W in their garden.
New boyfriend of the woman who lives there I think. Still trying to think
of a legal way of 'fixing' that.

We keep showing the cats pictures of cockerels as they have one of those
too. They seem to be slowly dealing with the rabbits.

--
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
My posts (including this one) are my copyright and if @diy_forums on
Twitter wish to tweet them they can pay me £30 a post
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor

Not as annoying as those prats driving around with all windows open and stereo wound up to the max playing some infernal disco music ( I presume its disco music)

I'm always tempted to wind down all my windows and give Classic FM a good blast

"Tim Lamb" wrote in message
...
In message om, F Murtz
writes
Bill Wright wrote:
With me, it's one of the following:
1. The woman reading the news on Sky News gets very attractive
2. The bottom of the lavatory bowl seems to move towards and away from
me
3. My **** stream amuses me
4. The left side of my upper lip twitches
5. It seems feasible to repair the body rot on the motorhome
6. I start to fry bacon
7. I decide that another pint and then a rum won't do any harm
8. I walk with my fingers brushing against the doors and walls, and feel
that this puts power into my body
9. I go on Facebook and alienate a lot of people
10. I listen to an American C & W station.

Later:
1. There's something wrong with my eyes
2. I wish I hadn't eaten all that bacon and sausage and mushrooms
3. Must get this uneven floor fixed
4. The rapid sideways movement of the bedroom ceiling must surely be
illusory, and why am I dressed?

Bill
Yes all those things and I don't drink alcohol.

Sadly a single glass of wine with supper causes such a volume change in my
snoring that sharing a bed becomes a problem:-(


Don't use a pint glass then:-)

--
Adam

On Sat, 07 Jun 2014 13:51:46 +0100
dave wrote:

On Fri, 6 Jun 2014 06:53:14 -0700 (PDT),
wrote:

Not as annoying as those prats driving around with all windows open
and stereo wound up to the max playing some infernal disco music ( I
presume its disco music)

I was once stuck in a traffic queue where the car behind the one behind
me was doing that, and my rearview mirror was shaking in time to the
drumbeats. Goodness knows what the car between us was suffering.

I'm always tempted to wind down all my windows and give Classic FM a
good blast
2nd'd

The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders Pipe Band is even better for
this purpose.

--
Davey.