My SWMBO brought me this poem recently. I hope it touches your gruff hearts
as much as it did mine.

J^n


----
Atlas

There is a kind of love called maintenance,
Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it;

Which checks the insurance, and doesnt forget
The milkman; which remembers to plant bulbs;

Which answers letters; which knows the way
The money goes, which deals with dentists

And Road Fund Tax and meeting trains,
And postcards to the lonely; which upholds

The permanently rickety elaborate
Structures of living; which is Atlas.

And maintenance is the sensible side of love,
Which knows what time and weather are doing
To my brickwork; insulates my faulty wiring;
Laughs at my dryrotten jokes; remembers
My need for gloss and grouting; which keeps
My suspect edifice upright in the air,
As Atlas did the sky.


by U.A. Fanthorpe
http://ah.brookes.ac.uk/poetry/poemoftheweek/atlas/

A charlatan called asshole Farrel
Preferred to wear ladies' apparrel.
In panties and bra
He cried "Shout who you are!
I'm a titsy old slapper called Carol!"

Thank you

wrote:
A charlatan called asshole Farrel
Preferred to wear ladies' apparrel.
In panties and bra
He cried "Shout who you are!
I'm a titsy old slapper called Carol!"

Thank you
There was a young tosser from Cheam
Who invented a wanking machine
At the very fourth stroke
the ****ing thing broke
and pounded his balls to a cream!

The Night Tripper wrote:
My SWMBO brought me this poem recently. I hope it touches your gruff
hearts as much as it did mine.

J^n


----
Atlas

There is a kind of love called maintenance,
Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it;

Which checks the insurance, and doesn't forget
The milkman; which remembers to plant bulbs;

Which answers letters; which knows the way
The money goes, which deals with dentists

And Road Fund Tax and meeting trains,
And postcards to the lonely; which upholds

The permanently rickety elaborate
Structures of living; which is Atlas.

And maintenance is the sensible side of love,
Which knows what time and weather are doing
To my brickwork; insulates my faulty wiring;
Laughs at my dryrotten jokes; remembers
My need for gloss and grouting; which keeps
My suspect edifice upright in the air,
As Atlas did the sky.


by U.A. Fanthorpe
http://ah.brookes.ac.uk/poetry/poemoftheweek/atlas/

Bloody rubbish - it doesn't rhyme.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"The Night Tripper" wrote in message
o.uk...
My SWMBO brought me this poem recently. I hope it touches your gruff
hearts
as much as it did mine.

J^n


----
Atlas

There is a kind of love called maintenance,
Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it;

Which checks the insurance, and doesn't forget
The milkman; which remembers to plant bulbs;

Which answers letters; which knows the way
The money goes, which deals with dentists

And Road Fund Tax and meeting trains,
And postcards to the lonely; which upholds

The permanently rickety elaborate
Structures of living; which is Atlas.

And maintenance is the sensible side of love,
Which knows what time and weather are doing
To my brickwork; insulates my faulty wiring;
Laughs at my dryrotten jokes; remembers
My need for gloss and grouting; which keeps
My suspect edifice upright in the air,
As Atlas did the sky.




The man who worked for the HSE
Was so obsessed about our safety
He tattooed 'May contain nuts'
Over each bollock
And 'Choking Hazard' along
The length of his cock

On Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:04:06 +0100, The Night Tripper
wrote:

My SWMBO brought me this poem recently. I hope it touches your gruff hearts
as much as it did mine.

Poetry time?
Here's a l'il ditty for ya...

Dennis decided his old drill had had it,
so he found one online and decided to nab it.
To save on the postage he'd drive to the shop -
it's not very far, a moderate hop.

For hour after hour he drove in a sweat,
"limited stock, they'll be sold out, I'll bet" -
and when he arrived and rushed in with his dosh
the salesmen all laughed and exclaimed "Oh my gosh!"

"It said on the site it's a 'deal of the day'
but that was on Friday...the fifteenth of May.
Three months have passed since you set out to see us
did you come very far, did you come in a Prius?"

"I got in my car and I drove hell for leather,
through dawn, dusk and night, through sun and foul weather."
"How fast did you go, is your car old and duff?"
"I don't go past thirty, that's quite fast enough!"

"But it says on the map you're just ten miles away,
A man with a limp could be here in a day!
I really can't see how it took you so long,
it's quite clear to me that you drive like a mong."

"I told you before, and I made it quite clear,
I don't go past thirty, I stay in first gear.
To go any faster would make me quite ill -
though I'm sick as a dog I missed out on that drill."

So Dennis returned without his new tool,
six months on the road - he felt like a fool.
The moral is clear, and quite easy to master -
if you wanna get bargains you gotta go faster.

Regards,


--
Steve ( out in the sticks )
Email: Take time to reply: timefrom_usenet{at}gmx.net

Stephen Howard wrote:
On Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:04:06 +0100, The Night Tripper
wrote:

My SWMBO brought me this poem recently. I hope it touches your gruff hearts
as much as it did mine.

Poetry time?
Here's a l'il ditty for ya...

Dennis decided his old drill had had it,
so he found one online and decided to nab it.
To save on the postage he'd drive to the shop -
it's not very far, a moderate hop.

For hour after hour he drove in a sweat,
"limited stock, they'll be sold out, I'll bet" -
and when he arrived and rushed in with his dosh
the salesmen all laughed and exclaimed "Oh my gosh!"

"It said on the site it's a 'deal of the day'
but that was on Friday...the fifteenth of May.
Three months have passed since you set out to see us
did you come very far, did you come in a Prius?"

"I got in my car and I drove hell for leather,
through dawn, dusk and night, through sun and foul weather."
"How fast did you go, is your car old and duff?"
"I don't go past thirty, that's quite fast enough!"

"But it says on the map you're just ten miles away,
A man with a limp could be here in a day!
I really can't see how it took you so long,
it's quite clear to me that you drive like a mong."

"I told you before, and I made it quite clear,
I don't go past thirty, I stay in first gear.
To go any faster would make me quite ill -
though I'm sick as a dog I missed out on that drill."

So Dennis returned without his new tool,
six months on the road - he felt like a fool.
The moral is clear, and quite easy to master -
if you wanna get bargains you gotta go faster.

Regards,


Pretty good..

Stephen Howard wrote:
On Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:04:06 +0100, The Night Tripper
wrote:

My SWMBO brought me this poem recently. I hope it touches your gruff
hearts as much as it did mine.

Poetry time?
Here's a l'il ditty for ya...

Dennis decided his old drill had had it,
so he found one online and decided to nab it.
To save on the postage he'd drive to the shop -
it's not very far, a moderate hop.

For hour after hour he drove in a sweat,
"limited stock, they'll be sold out, I'll bet" -
and when he arrived and rushed in with his dosh
the salesmen all laughed and exclaimed "Oh my gosh!"

"It said on the site it's a 'deal of the day'
but that was on Friday...the fifteenth of May.
Three months have passed since you set out to see us
did you come very far, did you come in a Prius?"

"I got in my car and I drove hell for leather,
through dawn, dusk and night, through sun and foul weather."
"How fast did you go, is your car old and duff?"
"I don't go past thirty, that's quite fast enough!"

"But it says on the map you're just ten miles away,
A man with a limp could be here in a day!
I really can't see how it took you so long,
it's quite clear to me that you drive like a mong."

"I told you before, and I made it quite clear,
I don't go past thirty, I stay in first gear.
To go any faster would make me quite ill -
though I'm sick as a dog I missed out on that drill."

So Dennis returned without his new tool,
six months on the road - he felt like a fool.
The moral is clear, and quite easy to master -
if you wanna get bargains you gotta go faster.

Regards,

Applause!!!


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk