Andy Hall wrote:
On 2006-10-09 20:57:52 +0100, "Mary Fisher"
said:


"Guy King" wrote in message
...
The message
from Andy Hall contains these words:

I tried an aerosol treatment

I thought you said they were mostly round your ankles.

You nicked that from my Swedish chemist joke.

Sorry, mate, it was too good a shot to miss.

I don't understand ...

Mary

Man goes into chemist in Sweden and asks to buy some deodorant.

Chemist: "Would you like ball or aerosol?"

Man: "Neither. I want it for under my arms"

Man goes into chemist and says...

Him: do you have any featherlite condoms.
Assistant: sorry we are sold out...have you tried boots?
Him: I want to slide up not march up.
--
Sir Benjamin Middlethwaite

On Mon, 9 Oct 2006 21:01:08 +0100, "Mary Fisher"
wrote:


"James" wrote in message
...
In article . com,
wrote:

Should I buy some chemicals to nuke everything on the carpet?



A really thorough hoovering of carpet / skirting / matress followed by a
spraying of Acclaim (from vets). Some of the off the shelf sprays from
Tesco etc just don't have the guts to kill the little beggars.

Another way to convince yourself the fleas are there is to put some
plastic sheeting on the floor --- you'll hear them ping off it as they
jump up and hit it.

My mum used to put a (lit) nightlight in a saucer of water. The theory was
that the fleas jumped towards the heat and drowned.

We never had fleas as children so perhaps it did work.

Mary


That's supposed to keep elephants away as well..Did you see any .???

My mum used to put a (lit) nightlight in a saucer of water. The theory was
that the fleas jumped towards the heat and drowned.

We never had fleas as children so perhaps it did work.

Mary


That's supposed to keep elephants away as well..Did you see any .???

Only the ones which drowned in the saucer.

Mary

On Mon, 9 Oct 2006 21:01:08 +0100, "Mary Fisher"


We never had fleas as children so perhaps it did work.

Mary


That must of baffled the medical proffession.

--
Sir Benjamin Middlethwaite

The message t
from "Mary Fisher" contains these words:

I tried an aerosol treatment

I thought you said they were mostly round your ankles.

You nicked that from my Swedish chemist joke.

Sorry, mate, it was too good a shot to miss.

I don't understand ...

He said he treated his aerosol and I said I thought the fleas were
biting his ankles.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Stuart wrote:
On 9 Oct 2006 06:24:40 -0700, wrote:

I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

I am 6 floors up.

I have thoroughly cleaned the room. (the entire building itself is
VERY clean and VERY well maintained)

I guess insects must be coming though the window (although I never
see them)

Should I buy some chemicals to nuke everything on the carpet?

Should I put some sort of net around the window?


I take it ,by the fact that you havent't mentioned it,that you don't
have a cat .Has there ever been a cat in the flat ..Flea eggs can
rest dormant in carpets and behind skirtings until CH gets switched
on during cooler times and they then come alive and can bite like
buggery .


Stuart .

You: ' win' [the] prize , for ; the...'most' .misplace .d . punctuation,
in. one ; scentence .

:-p

On 2006-10-09 22:20:06 +0100, Guy King said:

The message t
from "Mary Fisher" contains these words:

I tried an aerosol treatment

I thought you said they were mostly round your ankles.

You nicked that from my Swedish chemist joke.

Sorry, mate, it was too good a shot to miss.

I don't understand ...

He said he treated his aerosol and I said I thought the fleas were
biting his ankles.

It's no good if you have to spell them out.

In message , Mary
Fisher writes

"James" wrote in message
...
In article . com,
wrote:

Should I buy some chemicals to nuke everything on the carpet?



A really thorough hoovering of carpet / skirting / matress followed by a
spraying of Acclaim (from vets). Some of the off the shelf sprays from
Tesco etc just don't have the guts to kill the little beggars.

Another way to convince yourself the fleas are there is to put some
plastic sheeting on the floor --- you'll hear them ping off it as they
jump up and hit it.

My mum used to put a (lit) nightlight in a saucer of water. The theory was
that the fleas jumped towards the heat and drowned.

We never had fleas as children so perhaps it did work.

No elephants in the fridge either, I presume


--
geoff

In message , The3rd
Earl Of Derby writes

On Mon, 9 Oct 2006 21:01:08 +0100, "Mary Fisher"


We never had fleas as children so perhaps it did work.

Mary


That must of baffled the medical proffession.

Only those in Yorkshire

--
geoff

In message , Guy King
writes
The message . com
from contains these words:

I tried an aerosol treatment

I thought you said they were mostly round your ankles.

Guy ... the Broseley working mens club calls you

boom boom

--
geoff

In message , John of Aix
writes
wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

Very wise, but this being so I'm a little worried about global warming
as I find it difficult to imagine that one could sleep with no covering
in the UK in October. So how come you have your legs exposed? If you
don't then the problem must be in the bed itself, the mattress probably.

Well, I'm still sleeping without any bed covers


--
geoff

wrote in message
ups.com...
wrote:

I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

I am 6 floors up.

I have thoroughly cleaned the room. (the entire building itself is VERY
clean and VERY well maintained)

I guess insects must be coming though the window (although I never see
them)

Should I buy some chemicals to nuke everything on the carpet?

Should I put some sort of net around the window?

Slow release vapona type Insect killers are very effective. Strong
smells also repel most insects, and an old trick is to wipe paraffin
around th window frame, it puts incoming insects off.

In an old servants' guide, one recommendation was to wipe the wainscot with
petroleum spirit (1/6d a pint from the chemist, apparently). However, the
servant was advised to do this by daylight and not to use a candle.

I can't say I would like the fumes from paraffin or petroleum spirit in my
bedroom.

Colin Bignell

wrote in message
oups.com...
....
This sounds like the mostly likely situation.

I took over tenancy of this room in June. I don't have any pets.

Can anyone recommend any UK products/shops? I need to nuke any fleas in
the mattress/carpet etc.

I've used pyrethrum dust successfully. You can usually get that in garden
centres.

Colin Bignell

"Mary Fisher" typed



"Helen Deborah Vecht" wrote in message
...
When visiting cat left fleas at my parents' abode, Mum was pregnant and
didn't want to use any chemicals.

Someone advised the family to apply vegetable oil to the ankles to stop
the fleas getting any foothold. This seemed to work.

Good idea.

You can catch bugs and fleas if you can see them with a wet bar of soap.

Mary


I need spectacles to see; I don't think a wet bar of soap would help ;-)

--
Helen D. Vecht:
Edgware.

On Mon, 09 Oct 2006 21:29:41 GMT, "Phil L" wrote:

Stuart wrote:

snipped .

I take it ,by the fact that you havent't mentioned it,that you don't
have a cat .Has there ever been a cat in the flat ..Flea eggs can
rest dormant in carpets and behind skirtings until CH gets switched
on during cooler times and they then come alive and can bite like
buggery .


Stuart .

You: ' win' [the] prize , for ; the...'most' .misplace .d . punctuation,
in. one ; scentence .

:-p


What ?

raden wrote in :

In message , John of Aix
writes
wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

Very wise, but this being so I'm a little worried about global warming
as I find it difficult to imagine that one could sleep with no covering
in the UK in October. So how come you have your legs exposed? If you
don't then the problem must be in the bed itself, the mattress probably.

Well, I'm still sleeping without any bed covers


Ditto. And no heating.

There again, the house is double-glazed and I got the attic insulated
earlier in the year.

Don't open the windows though as I tend to get bitten all over by mosquitos
- the neighbour has a pond in her garden and if you leave the window open
with the light on, the room is full of the ******* things all squeaking
away.

On 9 Oct 2006 06:24:40 -0700, wrote:

I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

I am 6 floors up.

I have thoroughly cleaned the room. (the entire building itself is VERY
clean and VERY well maintained)

I guess insects must be coming though the window (although I never see
them)

Should I buy some chemicals to nuke everything on the carpet?

Should I put some sort of net around the window?


Most likely you have BED BUGS, my man.

Start your research for a cure he
http://www.google.com/search?q=bed+b...en-US:official
or he
http://www.entomology.cornell.edu/Ex...s/BedBugs.html

wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

I am 6 floors up.

I have thoroughly cleaned the room. (the entire building itself is VERY
clean and VERY well maintained)

I guess insects must be coming though the window (although I never see
them)

Should I buy some chemicals to nuke everything on the carpet?

Should I put some sort of net around the window?

Check your fridge or larder for something left to go soft midewy,
otherwise it is a guttering problem. This year there has been a rich
harvest of gnats and a number of other insects too. So they are making
the most of every nook in nature and you are in the firing line.

In the morning you will find them in any standing water such as the loo
or a basin left with water in it over night. You might put a drop of
bleach down plug holes and that sort of thing but are you sure that the
bites haven't been aquired outside the home?

If you have engaged in a spot of gardening last thing in the evening or
walked the dog by a canal or somesuch, that might have been where you
aquired the problem.

IIWY I'd find out a little bit more about the life cycle of gnats and
the like. And I'd treat the advice given by most of the other posters
on your thread with not a little circumspection.

"Guy King" wrote in message
...
The message t
from "Mary Fisher" contains these words:

I tried an aerosol treatment

I thought you said they were mostly round your ankles.

You nicked that from my Swedish chemist joke.

Sorry, mate, it was too good a shot to miss.

I don't understand ...

He said he treated his aerosol and I said I thought the fleas were
biting his ankles.

Oh.

Doh!

Getting slow in my dotage!

Mary

"Owain" wrote in message
...


(Your protasis is amphibolic.)

Interpretation, please?

Mary

"Phil L" wrote in message
.uk...
Stuart wrote:
On 9 Oct 2006 06:24:40 -0700, wrote:

I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

I am 6 floors up.

I have thoroughly cleaned the room. (the entire building itself is
VERY clean and VERY well maintained)

I guess insects must be coming though the window (although I never
see them)

Should I buy some chemicals to nuke everything on the carpet?

Should I put some sort of net around the window?


I take it ,by the fact that you havent't mentioned it,that you don't
have a cat .Has there ever been a cat in the flat ..Flea eggs can
rest dormant in carpets and behind skirtings until CH gets switched
on during cooler times and they then come alive and can bite like
buggery .


Stuart .

You: ' win' [the] prize , for ; the...'most' .misplace .d . punctuation,
in. one ; scentence .

Scentence???

The biter bit!

:-)

Mary

:-p

wrote in message
...
On 9 Oct 2006 06:24:40 -0700, wrote:

I rent in Central London


But, _where_ do you holiday?

Dimly recall an article in newspaper about a family with similar symptoms
that'd brought souvenir bed-bug form somewhere-foreign to their home in
Central London.
IIRC, the entire house had to be disinfected, plaster off walls, floorboards
lifted, bedding replaced ... and (apparently) they didn't get many
invitations to dinner parties in Central London either!

--

Brian

raden wrote:
In message , John of Aix
writes
wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

Very wise, but this being so I'm a little worried about global
warming as I find it difficult to imagine that one could sleep with
no covering in the UK in October. So how come you have your legs
exposed? If you don't then the problem must be in the bed itself,
the mattress probably.
Well, I'm still sleeping without any bed covers

You are Roy of the Rovers AICMF

Tristán White wrote:
raden wrote in :

In message , John of Aix
writes
wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

Very wise, but this being so I'm a little worried about global
warming as I find it difficult to imagine that one could sleep with
no covering in the UK in October. So how come you have your legs
exposed? If you don't then the problem must be in the bed itself,
the mattress probably.

Well, I'm still sleeping without any bed covers


Ditto. And no heating.

There again, the house is double-glazed and I got the attic insulated
earlier in the year.

Don't open the windows though as I tend to get bitten all over by
mosquitos - the neighbour has a pond in her garden and if you leave
the window open with the light on, the room is full of the *******
things all squeaking away.

Don't they have any fish? Great for eating mosquito larvae.

"nightjar" nightjar@insert my surname here wrote:

wrote in message
oups.com...
...
This sounds like the mostly likely situation.

I took over tenancy of this room in June. I don't have any pets.

Can anyone recommend any UK products/shops? I need to nuke any fleas in
the mattress/carpet etc.

I've used pyrethrum dust successfully. You can usually get that in garden
centres.

Ditto, house we rented in London was deceased estate and the old biddy
had cats, we walked in, vibration woke up fleas and we got bitten to
bits. Had to do the whole house. On the bright side if it is cat fleas
they need cats to breed so eventually they will go away without
treatment, but still...

Peter

--
Add my middle initial to email me. It has become attached to a country

"Peter Ashby" wrote in message
. ruk...
"nightjar" nightjar@insert my surname here wrote:

wrote in message
oups.com...
...
This sounds like the mostly likely situation.

I took over tenancy of this room in June. I don't have any pets.

Can anyone recommend any UK products/shops? I need to nuke any fleas in
the mattress/carpet etc.

I've used pyrethrum dust successfully. You can usually get that in garden
centres.

Ditto, house we rented in London was deceased estate and the old biddy
had cats, we walked in, vibration woke up fleas and we got bitten to
bits. Had to do the whole house. On the bright side if it is cat fleas
they need cats to breed so eventually they will go away without
treatment, but still...

A pest control officer once told me that if a house had been empty for some
time they'd throw some large stones through the door. The vibration caused
the adult fleas to emerge but there was nothing for them to feed on so they
died. The process was repeated in each room, without their entering.

Interesting - but no solution to the OP's problem :-)

Mary

Peter

--
Add my middle initial to email me. It has become attached to a country

"Owain" wrote in message
...
Mary Fisher wrote:
(Your protasis

The subordinate clause or condition in a conditional sentence

is amphibolic.)

is so expressed as to admit of two grammatical constructions each yielding
a different sense.

I'll remember that!

Rather, I hope I remember that!

Thanks, it could come in very useful :-)

Mary

Owain

"Owain" wrote in message
...
Mary Fisher wrote:
"Phil L" wrote
You: ' win' [the] prize , for ; the...'most' .misplace .d . punctuation,
in. one ; scentence .
Scentence???
The biter bit!

Does the biter bit bit a bit of bitter bile?

Or even does the biter bit bite a bit of bitter bile?

Mary

In message , John of Aix
writes
raden wrote:
In message , John of Aix
writes
wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

Very wise, but this being so I'm a little worried about global
warming as I find it difficult to imagine that one could sleep with
no covering in the UK in October. So how come you have your legs
exposed? If you don't then the problem must be in the bed itself,
the mattress probably.
Well, I'm still sleeping without any bed covers

You are Roy of the Rovers AICMF


Bloody hell

first Tomorrows World and now the Beano

memory lane is becoming a well worn track


--
geoff

raden wrote:
In message , John of Aix
writes
raden wrote:
In message , John of Aix
writes
wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

Very wise, but this being so I'm a little worried about global
warming as I find it difficult to imagine that one could sleep with
no covering in the UK in October. So how come you have your legs
exposed? If you don't then the problem must be in the bed itself,
the mattress probably.
Well, I'm still sleeping without any bed covers

You are Roy of the Rovers AICMF


Bloody hell

first Tomorrows World and now the Beano

memory lane is becoming a well worn track

You sure it was the Beano? I don't think so, some middle class comic
that cost an expensive tuppence called Flash or Boys Own or some other
macho name. Bunty perhaps [Ed: some mistake surely?]

"John of Aix" wrote in message
...

You are Roy of the Rovers AICMF


Bloody hell

first Tomorrows World and now the Beano

memory lane is becoming a well worn track

You sure it was the Beano? I don't think so, some middle class comic that
cost an expensive tuppence called Flash or Boys Own or some other macho
name. Bunty perhaps [Ed: some mistake surely?]

Bunty was a girls' paper and later than Roy of the Rovers. ISTR Roy of the
Rovers WAS the comic as well as the hero of one of the tales.

Memory Lane obviously is an overgrown track for some :-)

Mary

In message , John of Aix
writes
raden wrote:
In message , John of Aix
writes
raden wrote:
In message , John of Aix
writes
wrote:
I rent in Central London

I leave the window open (always - for ventilation)

Very wise, but this being so I'm a little worried about global
warming as I find it difficult to imagine that one could sleep with
no covering in the UK in October. So how come you have your legs
exposed? If you don't then the problem must be in the bed itself,
the mattress probably.
Well, I'm still sleeping without any bed covers

You are Roy of the Rovers AICMF


Bloody hell

first Tomorrows World and now the Beano

memory lane is becoming a well worn track

You sure it was the Beano? I don't think so, some middle class comic
that cost an expensive tuppence called Flash or Boys Own or some other
macho name. Bunty perhaps [Ed: some mistake surely?]


Hmmm...

Unclear - wikki

"Roy of the Rovers was a British comic strip about the life and exploits
of a fictional footballer named Roy Race which ran in various
publications from 1954 to 2001. The strip gave its name to a weekly (and
later monthly) comic magazine, published by IPC and Fleetway from 1976
to 1995, in which it was the main feature."

I remember the beano and another "small" comic and Topper which was
bigger

that's all

--
geoff

Mary Fisher wrote:
"John of Aix" wrote in message
...

You are Roy of the Rovers AICMF


Bloody hell

first Tomorrows World and now the Beano

memory lane is becoming a well worn track

You sure it was the Beano? I don't think so, some middle class comic
that cost an expensive tuppence called Flash or Boys Own or some
other macho name. Bunty perhaps [Ed: some mistake surely?]

Bunty was a girls' paper

I know, I was kidding. My younger sisters used to buy it, the eldest
went for Valentine I believe.

and later than Roy of the Rovers. ISTR Roy
of the Rovers WAS the comic as well as the hero of one of the tales.

So it seems from the next post

Memory Lane obviously is an overgrown track for some :-)

Overgrown is an understatement.

"John of Aix" wrote in message
...


Memory Lane obviously is an overgrown track for some :-)

Overgrown is an understatement.

Just remember (if you can, I know how hard it is) that you're in the best
company :-)

Mary

On Mon, 09 Oct 2006 22:49:33 +0100, Owain
wrote:

Mary Fisher wrote:
You can catch bugs and fleas if you can see them with a wet bar of soap.

A handy trick if you mislay your contact lenses.

(Your protasis is amphibolic.)

Is it really relevant mentioning that her protasis can travel on both
land and water?

Anyway it's not amphibolic, it's carbolic.







--

"Matt" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 09 Oct 2006 22:49:33 +0100, Owain
wrote:

Mary Fisher wrote:
You can catch bugs and fleas if you can see them with a wet bar of soap.

A handy trick if you mislay your contact lenses.

(Your protasis is amphibolic.)

Is it really relevant mentioning that her protasis can travel on both
land and water?

Anyway it's not amphibolic, it's carbolic.

Have you been looking in our bathroom???

Mary