Cliff wrote:
http://www.bushflash.com/jpg/svu_2.jpg

The True Story of How Liberals & Conservatives Were Created

Here's a little world history lesson on how liberals and Conservatives
were created....

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the
coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2
distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for
them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hug's and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the majestic elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the ugly jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officer's, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally
anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying
to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers."

wrote in message
ups.com...
Cliff wrote:
http://www.bushflash.com/jpg/svu_2.jpg

The True Story of How Liberals & Conservatives Were Created

Here's a little world history lesson on how liberals and Conservatives
were created....

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the
coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2
distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for
them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hug's and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the majestic elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the ugly jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officer's, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally
anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying
to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers."






You forgot about the large group of people in the middle who might subscribe
to parts of either philosophy (Gunner included) but should be insulted to be
branded by your handles.
Steve

wrote:


The True Story of How Conservatives Were Created


http://www.bushflash.com/prevail.html


Abrasha
http://www.abrasha.com

While everyone knows that very bad things happen in war, I have to
wonder why the majority of our military men and women warmly regard
President Bush. Could it be that the bushflash website is a bunch of
crapola?

On 9 Dec 2005 08:59:00 -0800, wrote:



Here ends today's lesson in world history:
A Conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers."


LOL, that is exactly the first thought that went thru my mind: to
pass it on to my hard-workin' buddies further west

Nice post, thank ya! :=)



BK

wrote in message
ups.com...
Cliff wrote:
http://www.bushflash.com/jpg/svu_2.jpg

The True Story of How Liberals & Conservatives Were Created

Here's a little world history lesson on how liberals and Conservatives
were created....

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the
coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2
distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for
them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hug's and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the majestic elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the ugly jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officer's, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally
anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying
to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers."


You omitted one important fact about conservatives though. Due to the
excessive consumption of beer by the conservatives their women produced
offspring impaired by fetal alcohol syndrome. The result being that the
brains of conservatives failed to develop normally and remain unusually
small in comparison to the brain of a liberal, which explains why, to this
day, they are still regarded as knuckle dragging imbeciles.

Hawke

On Fri, 9 Dec 2005 11:18:30 -0600, "its me" wrote:


wrote in message
oups.com...
Cliff wrote:
http://www.bushflash.com/jpg/svu_2.jpg

The True Story of How Liberals & Conservatives Were Created

Here's a little world history lesson on how liberals and Conservatives
were created....

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the
coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2
distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for
them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hug's and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the majestic elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the ugly jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officer's, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally
anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying
to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers."






You forgot about the large group of people in the middle who might subscribe
to parts of either philosophy (Gunner included) but should be insulted to be
branded by your handles.
Steve


Actually..I forwarded it to about 40 other Conservatives after
laughing at its straightforward obvious truth.

G

Gunner

"Pax Americana is a philosophy. Hardly an empire.
Making sure other people play nice and dont kill each other (and us)
off in job lots is hardly empire building, particularly when you give
them self determination under "play nice" rules.

Think of it as having your older brother knock the **** out of you
for torturing the cat." Gunner

On 9 Dec 2005 12:52:27 -0800, wrote:

While everyone knows that very bad things happen in war, I have to
wonder why the majority of our military men and women warmly regard
President Bush. Could it be that the bushflash website is a bunch of
crapola?

Because we who have been to war, or are at war, recognize that war is
often required, and having a leader with the balls and brains to
recognize this fact is refreshing. As is having one who will let those
whose profession is war, run the thing, rather than secondguessing,
and micromanaging it.

Any further questions?

Gunner

"Pax Americana is a philosophy. Hardly an empire.
Making sure other people play nice and dont kill each other (and us)
off in job lots is hardly empire building, particularly when you give
them self determination under "play nice" rules.

Think of it as having your older brother knock the **** out of you
for torturing the cat." Gunner

You forgot about the large group of people in the middle who might
subscribe
to parts of either philosophy (Gunner included) but should be insulted to
be
branded by your handles.
Steve


Actually..I forwarded it to about 40 other Conservatives after
laughing at its straightforward obvious truth.

G

Gunner

I myself am a hardworking, taxpaying, gun owning, patriotic, gas burning
American that believes in helping people less fortunate than me but I damn
sure ain't gonna be grouped with a bunch of so called conservatives. BTW
just what have you conserved today?
Steve

On Sun, 11 Dec 2005 13:12:19 -0600, "its me" wrote:




You forgot about the large group of people in the middle who might
subscribe
to parts of either philosophy (Gunner included) but should be insulted to
be
branded by your handles.
Steve


Actually..I forwarded it to about 40 other Conservatives after
laughing at its straightforward obvious truth.

G

Gunner

I myself am a hardworking, taxpaying, gun owning, patriotic, gas burning
American that believes in helping people less fortunate than me but I damn
sure ain't gonna be grouped with a bunch of so called conservatives. BTW
just what have you conserved today?
Steve


What did I conserve today...hummmm...
My strength (recovering from pneomnia), I didnt kill several trees by
not buying the Sunday paper, I didnt drive to the store, and I posted
some 2nd Amendment stuff to some emailed enquiries, so have done my
part to conserve the Constitution.

And frankly..I dont care where you group yourself. You are not my
problem. Nor my concern. Nor are you r opinions. Shrug.

Feel free to group yourself with the Neo Zorostrian Clam Loverers, or
the Quasi Free Melon Marxists, or the Felladilast Club.

March to your own drummer damnit! Be strong, stand tall! Be YOU!!!


"We are afraid to put men to live and trade each on his own private
stock of reason, because we suspect that this stock in each man is
small, and that the individuals would do better to avail themselves of
the general bank and capital of nations and ages. Many of our men of
speculation, instead of exploding general prejudices, employ their
sagacity to discover the latent wisdom which prevails in them. If they
find what they seek, and they seldom fail, they think it more wise to
continue the prejudice, with the reason involved, than to cast away
the coat of prejudice, and to leave nothing but naked reason; because
prejudice, with its reason, has a motive to give action to that
reason, and an affection which will give it permanence."
Edmond Burke


Btw..you are aware that todays Conservative are Classical Liberals,
are you not? Or Neo Liberals?

Feel free to increase your knowlege base by googling the two terms.

Gunner


"Pax Americana is a philosophy. Hardly an empire.
Making sure other people play nice and dont kill each other (and us)
off in job lots is hardly empire building, particularly when you give
them self determination under "play nice" rules.

Think of it as having your older brother knock the **** out of you
for torturing the cat." Gunner

its me wrote:


You forgot about the large group of people in the middle who might
subscribe
to parts of either philosophy (Gunner included) but should be insulted to
be
branded by your handles.
Steve


Actually..I forwarded it to about 40 other Conservatives after
laughing at its straightforward obvious truth.

G

Gunner


I myself am a hardworking, taxpaying, gun owning, patriotic, gas burning
American that believes in helping people less fortunate than me but I damn
sure ain't gonna be grouped with a bunch of so called conservatives. BTW
just what have you conserved today?
Steve



Hmmm,

Gunner doesn't know the difference between conservative and conservationist.

Not that I am surprised about that.

Abrasha
http://www.abrasha.com

Abrasha wrote:
its me wrote:



You forgot about the large group of people in the middle who might
subscribe
to parts of either philosophy (Gunner included) but should be
insulted to be
branded by your handles.
Steve


Actually..I forwarded it to about 40 other Conservatives after
laughing at its straightforward obvious truth.

G

Gunner



I myself am a hardworking, taxpaying, gun owning, patriotic, gas
burning American that believes in helping people less fortunate than
me but I damn sure ain't gonna be grouped with a bunch of so called
conservatives. BTW just what have you conserved today?
Steve


Hmmm,

Gunner doesn't know the difference between conservative and
conservationist.

Not that I am surprised about that.

Abrasha
http://www.abrasha.com

I meant to say, Steve doesn't know the difference between conservative
and conservationist.

And I'm not surprised about that either.

--
Abrasha
http://www.abrasha.com

"Gunner Asch" wrote in message
...
On 9 Dec 2005 12:52:27 -0800, wrote:

While everyone knows that very bad things happen in war, I have to
wonder why the majority of our military men and women warmly regard
President Bush. Could it be that the bushflash website is a bunch of
crapola?

Because we who have been to war, or are at war, recognize that war is
often required, and having a leader with the balls and brains to
recognize this fact is refreshing. As is having one who will let those
whose profession is war, run the thing, rather than secondguessing,
and micromanaging it.

Any further questions?

Gunner

Yeah, why is it that throughout history it has always been the nations that
have the greatest military might that start wars so often? You don't think
it's because the preeminent military nations really fear their weak
neighbors, do you? Aside from that, I'm sure that none of us that your ilk
consider anti war are really that. Unlike you, we see war as something that
has to be done only when there is no alternative. But we are not against war
in all cases. The argument all along isn't that we are against all wars,
what we are against is this particular war, because if one looks at the
facts objectively, it's crystal clear that this was not a war that we had no
choice but to fight. We all know it was an optional war. It also takes no
brains or courage to commit the world's largest and most modern military
against a country that spends less than 4 billion a year on it's military.
Going to war against Iraq was shooting fish in a barrel. Make this war into
some grand endeavor if you like but the truth is it was totally unnecessary,
took no brains to set in motion, and it put this country at odds with most
of the rest of the world. It also turned into a royal fiasco the "brilliant"
George Bush never saw coming. You can accuse those of us who said not to
start this war as chicken or unpatriotic all you want but those kinds of
labels are completely off base. We saw starting a war in Iraq as stupid and
unnecessary and would lead to nothing but trouble. We were right, as usual.

Hawke

As demonstrated, the following quote is accurate:

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and
I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)