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  #1   Report Post  
Karen
 
Posts: n/a
Default I just made a huge Weapon of Mass Destruction

ROFLMAO!!


o.or.maybe.it.is.hotmail.or.maybe.i.forgot.......c om
wrote in message ...
ATTENTION ALL GOVERNMENTAL OFFICIALS
YOU WANT TO READ THIS CAREFULLY AND ENTIRELY
THIS IS A WEAPON OF TERROR

I just made a huge weapon of mass destruction.
Here is what I did. I filled all the holes in a 55 gallon steel drum.
and connected a hose to one of the holes. On the other side I
attached a pressure valve and gauge to determine the amount of
explosive capability.

Then I took a cup of sugar a cup of salt, and a pound of flour and
poured it in the hose. To that I added one raw egg, and quickly
capped off the end of the hose.

After that, I opened twelve 16 ounce cans of Bush's Pork and Beans.
I chose the Bush brand because it seemed sort of symbolic.
I also opened a 64 ounce bottle of prune juice and drank it, along
with a few cans of beer. Then came the real action.

I ate all twelve cans of beans and rested for an hour.
Suddenly I started farting. I quickly took a funnel and duct tapes it
to my ass. Then I took the hose, removed the cap, and hooked the hose
to the funnel. I farted constantly for hours, and each and every fart
went into that steel drum. I watched the pressure gauge climb
quickly.

Hours later, after achieving 100lbs of pressure in the drum, I shut
off the inlet valve and removed the hose and funnel from my ass.
After taking a long ****, I removed the hose from the drum, and in
it's place I inserted a candle.

That's it folks. I am ready to do some real damage. The pressure in
the drum continues to climb, and I am getting ready to open the
release valve after lighting the candle. I already know this is going
to wipe at least five states off the map, possibly more. In fact, if
this works as planned, planet earth will be thrown out of orbit and
crash into the moon. The way I have this planned, the moon will
collide with the earth right exactly in Washington DC, and goodbye
republicans and democrats, and none of us will have to listen to any
more of those political speeches any longer.

This is going to be the big one folks. Please prepare yourselves and
your families by stocking up on food, beer, and hoarding everything
else. Also be sure to watch tv so you can see the last nagative ad of
the year. Don't forget to buy at least 25 rolls of duct tape too.
You never know when you may need to hang yourself with duct tape, or
place some tape over your asshole because you forgot to stock up on
toilet paper.




  #2   Report Post  
Steve@carolinabreezehvac
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Thund3rstruck_n0i" wrote in message
...
Usmiech spilled my beer when they jumped on the table and proclaimed in
1107671202.cf9a6317c50f068354137be7ce0a5ff5@bubba news

Just fart and forget the rest of it.


If you read the middle part...he did.

I would hate to live next door with that type of methane leak.

NOI


You ran em off man with your garage roof..lol

you not answering your mails, or IMs? Or is my **** not working???



  #3   Report Post  
SteveB
 
Posts: n/a
Default


o.or.maybe.it.is.hotmail.or.maybe.i.forgot.......c om
wrote in message ...

tale of subversive fabrication snipped

One fourth of July, we took a 55 gallon drum. Hooked up a spark plug to it.
Poured a bit of gas in the bung hole and screwed the lid on. It sat in the
sun all day. That night, we got way back, and touched it off. IT WAS LOUD.
It deadened our hearing for a couple of hours. It cracked a couple of
windows in my house.

I lived on a hill where I could see people coming for a couple of miles. A
steady stream of flashing red lights came at us from below. By then, we had
stashed what we could find of the drum. They cruised around, and stopped
and asked us if we had seen or heard anything. First, we said, "Huh?, What
did you say?" Then, "Nothing, officer."

They all left by an hour later.

It was fun, but I wouldn't do it again.

Steve


  #4   Report Post  
ameijers
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"SteveB" wrote in message
news:8asNd.37141$mt.23029@fed1read03...


o.or.maybe.it.is.hotmail.o
r.maybe.i.forgot.......com
wrote in message ...

tale of subversive fabrication snipped

One fourth of July, we took a 55 gallon drum. Hooked up a spark plug to

it.
Poured a bit of gas in the bung hole and screwed the lid on. It sat in

the
sun all day. That night, we got way back, and touched it off. IT WAS

LOUD.
It deadened our hearing for a couple of hours. It cracked a couple of
windows in my house.

I lived on a hill where I could see people coming for a couple of miles.

A
steady stream of flashing red lights came at us from below. By then, we

had
stashed what we could find of the drum. They cruised around, and stopped
and asked us if we had seen or heard anything. First, we said, "Huh?,

What
did you say?" Then, "Nothing, officer."

They all left by an hour later.

It was fun, but I wouldn't do it again.

Darwinism doesn't always work, apparently.

aem sends...

  #5   Report Post  
Stormin Mormon
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I'm predicting that the government will investigate you. Just in case they
don't, I'm using a few sensetive words so that the scanning computers will
trigger on this message.

You're not paranoid -- they really are coming to take you away.

--

Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
www.mormons.com


o.or.maybe.it.is.hotmail.o
r.maybe.i.forgot.......com wrote in message
...
ATTENTION ALL GOVERNMENTAL OFFICIALS
YOU WANT TO READ THIS CAREFULLY AND ENTIRELY
THIS IS A WEAPON OF TERROR

I just made a huge weapon of mass destruction.
Here is what I did. I filled all the holes in a 55 gallon steel drum.
and connected a hose to one of the holes. On the other side I
attached a pressure valve and gauge to determine the amount of
explosive capability.

Then I took a cup of sugar a cup of salt, and a pound of flour and
poured it in the hose. To that I added one raw egg, and quickly
capped off the end of the hose.

After that, I opened twelve 16 ounce cans of Bush's Pork and Beans.
I chose the Bush brand because it seemed sort of symbolic.
I also opened a 64 ounce bottle of prune juice and drank it, along
with a few cans of beer. Then came the real action.

I ate all twelve cans of beans and rested for an hour.
Suddenly I started farting. I quickly took a funnel and duct tapes it
to my ass. Then I took the hose, removed the cap, and hooked the hose
to the funnel. I farted constantly for hours, and each and every fart
went into that steel drum. I watched the pressure gauge climb
quickly.

Hours later, after achieving 100lbs of pressure in the drum, I shut
off the inlet valve and removed the hose and funnel from my ass.
After taking a long ****, I removed the hose from the drum, and in
it's place I inserted a candle.

That's it folks. I am ready to do some real damage. The pressure in
the drum continues to climb, and I am getting ready to open the
release valve after lighting the candle. I already know this is going
to wipe at least five states off the map, possibly more. In fact, if
this works as planned, planet earth will be thrown out of orbit and
crash into the moon. The way I have this planned, the moon will
collide with the earth right exactly in Washington DC, and goodbye
republicans and democrats, and none of us will have to listen to any
more of those political speeches any longer.

This is going to be the big one folks. Please prepare yourselves and
your families by stocking up on food, beer, and hoarding everything
else. Also be sure to watch tv so you can see the last nagative ad of
the year. Don't forget to buy at least 25 rolls of duct tape too.
You never know when you may need to hang yourself with duct tape, or
place some tape over your asshole because you forgot to stock up on
toilet paper.

Date: Thu Jul 4, 2002 9:05 am
SPAM the Spooks - Talkwire.com
Electronic Freedom at Talkwire.com - info and links for the BEST Talk Radio
Hosts Listen HostsLinksStoreAboutHome


SPAM the Spooks! The FBI, CIA and NSA have an electronic spy system called
"Carnivore" and "Eschelon". This system (computer and software) monitors all
network traffic (Yours!) and analyzes it for key words. If it finds a
suspicious message (e-mail, chat message, etc.), it stores it for later
retrieval for law enforcement. This system ignores the Fourth Amendment's
proscription of unreasonable searches. Americans were horrified a year ago
when it was announced that Russia's law enforcement required all internet
traffic to be forwarded to state computers. Now our law enforcement is doing
it to us. Talkwire believes that the existence of Carnivore and Eschelon are
a threat to personal privacy and security, despite the empty assurances of
the government. Law enforcement has been given too much latitude in searches
and seizures, and Carnivore is just a step along the way. We must work to
reverse this trend of government's intrusion into our private lives. For
more information visit www.stopcarnivore.org
In the meantime, you can Spam the Spooks. The list below contains many of
the keywords the Government Spooks search YOUR email and chat for. If
everyone attaches some or all of the keywords below to all of their emails,
Carnivore and Eschelon will be flooded with so much Spam they will
not be able to read it all. Put the Carnivore and Eschelon computers to
work, You paid for them!! .

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Rojdykarna, airframe, 510, EuroFed, Avi, shelter, Crypto AG.









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TURTLE
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Stormin Mormon" wrote in message
...
I'm predicting that the government will investigate you. Just in case they
don't, I'm using a few sensetive words so that the scanning computers will
trigger on this message.

You're not paranoid -- they really are coming to take you away.

--

Christopher A. Young


This is Turtle.

You did hit on the side of humor but the FBI & CIA don't trigger off the words
you used here. some of the word they are looking for is a person using words
that do not fit his or her education level such as person with maybe a 3 rd or 4
rd grade education and start using words like Team effort in a time line of
events of the effort.

TURTLE


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