You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White
House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where
kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from
happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
~Erma Bombeck
--
³Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive,
but what they conceal is vital.²
‹ Aaron Levenstein

On Saturday, July 4, 2015 at 8:20:02 AM UTC-5, Kurt Ullman wrote:
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White
House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where
kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from
happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
~Erma Bombeck
--
³Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive,
but what they conceal is vital.²
€¹ Aaron Levenstein

Nice!

"bob_villa" wrote in message
...

On Saturday, July 4, 2015 at 8:20:02 AM UTC-5, Kurt Ullman wrote:
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White
House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where
kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from
happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
~Erma Bombeck
--
³Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive,
but what they conceal is vital.²
€¹ Aaron Levenstein

Nice!


Bob, being a beaner, you aren't allowed July 4th.
LOL

On 7/4/2015 9:19 AM, Kurt Ullman wrote:
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White
House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where
kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from
happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
~Erma Bombeck


I celebrate independence day by driving my government
inspected vehicle (which passes smog, emissions and
safety check) to the gas station, where I buy mandated
10% ethanol fuel. I wear my seat belt, keep my license
and registration handy for the DWI and seat belt check
points. The uniformed and heavily armed police are so
much nicer when I do everything they say. I go to the
county owned park, read the regulations. Pack in, pack
out, and fires only in the fireplaces provided. Do not
feed the ducks. I listen to government approved news on
the radio, eat USFDA inspected foods, and wave flags
from Walmart, made in China. I return home to a bed
with a matress "do not remove tag, under penalty of law"
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.

--
..
Christopher A. Young
learn more about Jesus
.. www.lds.org
..
..

On Sat, 04 Jul 2015 10:50:21 -0500, wrote:

On Sat, 04 Jul 2015 10:13:13 -0400, Stormin Mormon
wrote:


I celebrate independence day by driving my government
inspected vehicle (which passes smog, emissions and
safety check) to the gas station, where I buy mandated
10% ethanol fuel. I wear my seat belt, keep my license
and registration handy for the DWI and seat belt check
points. The uniformed and heavily armed police are so
much nicer when I do everything they say. I go to the
county owned park, read the regulations. Pack in, pack
out, and fires only in the fireplaces provided. Do not
feed the ducks. I listen to government approved news on
the radio, eat USFDA inspected foods, and wave flags
from Walmart, made in China. I return home to a bed
with a matress "do not remove tag, under penalty of law"
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.

Damn Storm. You are doing it wrong

Drink moonshine, shoot illegal fireworks and make jokes about the
government.
It is what our founding fathers wanted us to do.

Plus show up at a NASCAR event with Confederate Flags flying
high. I like the black Don't Tread on Me flag but this one is
better given our latest "outrage".
http://tinyurl.com/pkaaqy5 It's a Bing image.
--
Using Opera's mail client: http://www.opera.com/mail/

On 7/4/2015 11:50 AM, wrote:
On Sat, 04 Jul 2015 10:13:13 -0400, Stormin Mormon
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.

Damn Storm. You are doing it wrong

Drink moonshine, shoot illegal fireworks and make jokes about the
government.
It is what our founding fathers wanted us to do.


Hmm. I'll have to phone my case worker,
and see if that's okay.

--
..
Christopher A. Young
learn more about Jesus
.. www.lds.org
..
..

On 07/04/2015 10:42 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
On 7/4/2015 11:50 AM, wrote:
On Sat, 04 Jul 2015 10:13:13 -0400, Stormin Mormon
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.

Damn Storm. You are doing it wrong

Drink moonshine, shoot illegal fireworks and make jokes about the
government.
It is what our founding fathers wanted us to do.


Hmm. I'll have to phone my case worker,
and see if that's okay.


"Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the
democrats believe every day is April 15."
-- Ronald Reagan

On 7/4/2015 9:13 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
On 7/4/2015 9:19 AM, Kurt Ullman wrote:
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White
House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where
kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from
happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
~Erma Bombeck


I celebrate independence day by driving my government
inspected vehicle (which passes smog, emissions and
safety check) to the gas station, where I buy mandated
10% ethanol fuel. I wear my seat belt, keep my license
and registration handy for the DWI and seat belt check
points. The uniformed and heavily armed police are so
much nicer when I do everything they say. I go to the
county owned park, read the regulations. Pack in, pack
out, and fires only in the fireplaces provided. Do not
feed the ducks. I listen to government approved news on
the radio, eat USFDA inspected foods, and wave flags
from Walmart, made in China. I return home to a bed
with a matress "do not remove tag, under penalty of law"
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.


You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!

--
Maggie

On Sat, 4 Jul 2015 17:17:33 -0500, Muggles wrote:

You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!

Wissed in the front yard today. Am I special?

How can one miss the ground?!

On 07/04/2015 08:53 PM, Oren wrote:
On Sat, 4 Jul 2015 17:17:33 -0500, Muggles wrote:

You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!

Wissed in the front yard today. Am I special?

How can one miss the ground?!


"Flying is easy. All you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and
miss." -- Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

--
"Answers are easy. Good ones are hard. And the absence of a good one is
no basis for failing to reject a bad one." -- Neal M. Stevens

On 7/4/2015 8:53 PM, Oren wrote:
On Sat, 4 Jul 2015 17:17:33 -0500, Muggles wrote:

You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!

Wissed in the front yard today. Am I special?

How can one miss the ground?!


You are! You missed the tree.

--
Maggie

On Saturday, July 4, 2015 at 5:17:27 PM UTC-5, Muggles wrote:
On 7/4/2015 9:13 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
On 7/4/2015 9:19 AM, Kurt Ullman wrote:
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White
House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where
kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from
happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
~Erma Bombeck


I celebrate independence day by driving my government
inspected vehicle (which passes smog, emissions and
safety check) to the gas station, where I buy mandated
10% ethanol fuel. I wear my seat belt, keep my license
and registration handy for the DWI and seat belt check
points. The uniformed and heavily armed police are so
much nicer when I do everything they say. I go to the
county owned park, read the regulations. Pack in, pack
out, and fires only in the fireplaces provided. Do not
feed the ducks. I listen to government approved news on
the radio, eat USFDA inspected foods, and wave flags
from Walmart, made in China. I return home to a bed
with a matress "do not remove tag, under penalty of law"
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.


You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!

--
Maggie

I pee in a urinal while I'm in bed then call the CNA to empty it for me. I keep two so I don't get pee all over the bed by trying to use one that's half full. I was in the ICU last year and one day I awakened wondering where my urinal was, it was between my legs. I had fallen asleep with it there and it was full. Those things hold one liter which is approximately 34 ounces.. Luckily, most males are equipped with a convenient drain hose but using a urinal in bed is a skill that must be learned. Did you know that the capacity of a bedpan is ten pounds? ^_^

[8~{} Uncle Urinal Monster

On 7/4/2015 6:17 PM, Muggles wrote:
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.


You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!


Sigh. Now we're back to potty talk. When the
1.6 came to pass (sorry) folks called em flush
twice toilets. Not enough water to send it down
the line.

One nice thing about being male gender, makes it
easier to find relief when on picnics and nature
hikes. When in doubt, whip it out.

Thank ^h^h^h, it's sure been convenient now and
again.

--
..
Christopher A. Young
learn more about Jesus
.. www.lds.org
..
..

On 7/5/2015 3:08 AM, Uncle Monster wrote:
On Saturday, July 4, 2015 at 5:17:27 PM UTC-5, Muggles wrote:
On 7/4/2015 9:13 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
On 7/4/2015 9:19 AM, Kurt Ullman wrote:
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White
House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where
kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from
happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
~Erma Bombeck


I celebrate independence day by driving my government
inspected vehicle (which passes smog, emissions and
safety check) to the gas station, where I buy mandated
10% ethanol fuel. I wear my seat belt, keep my license
and registration handy for the DWI and seat belt check
points. The uniformed and heavily armed police are so
much nicer when I do everything they say. I go to the
county owned park, read the regulations. Pack in, pack
out, and fires only in the fireplaces provided. Do not
feed the ducks. I listen to government approved news on
the radio, eat USFDA inspected foods, and wave flags
from Walmart, made in China. I return home to a bed
with a matress "do not remove tag, under penalty of law"
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.


You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!

--
Maggie

I pee in a urinal while I'm in bed then call the CNA to empty it for me. I keep two so I don't get pee all over the bed by trying to use one that's half full. I was in the ICU last year and one day I awakened wondering where my urinal was, it was between my legs. I had fallen asleep with it there and it was full. Those things hold one liter which is approximately 34 ounces. Luckily, most males are equipped with a convenient drain hose but using a urinal in bed is a skill that must be learned. Did you know that the capacity of a bedpan is ten pounds? ^_^

[8~{} Uncle Urinal Monster


Learn something new every day!

--
Maggie

On 7/5/2015 7:07 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
On 7/4/2015 6:17 PM, Muggles wrote:
have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF
toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when
I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.

God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under
whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more.
Sorry.


You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!


Sigh. Now we're back to potty talk. When the
1.6 came to pass (sorry) folks called em flush
twice toilets. Not enough water to send it down
the line.

One nice thing about being male gender, makes it
easier to find relief when on picnics and nature
hikes. When in doubt, whip it out.

Thank ^h^h^h, it's sure been convenient now and
again.


One would think 'whipping it out' might hurt a tad. hahaahah

--
Maggie

On Sun, 5 Jul 2015 12:22:36 -0500, Muggles wrote:

One would think 'whipping it out' might hurt a tad. hahaahah

Not as bad as getting it caught in a zipper tang.

On 7/5/2015 1:22 PM, Muggles wrote:
On 7/5/2015 7:07 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
One nice thing about being male gender, makes it
easier to find relief when on picnics and nature
hikes. When in doubt, whip it out.

Thank ^h^h^h, it's sure been convenient now and
again.


One would think 'whipping it out' might hurt a tad. hahaahah


More than whipping it, in.

--
..
Christopher A. Young
learn more about Jesus
.. www.lds.org
..
..

On 7/5/2015 4:29 PM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
On 7/5/2015 1:22 PM, Muggles wrote:
On 7/5/2015 7:07 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
One nice thing about being male gender, makes it
easier to find relief when on picnics and nature
hikes. When in doubt, whip it out.

Thank ^h^h^h, it's sure been convenient now and
again.


One would think 'whipping it out' might hurt a tad. hahaahah


More than whipping it, in.


haha!

--
Maggie

Oren posted for all of us...



On Sat, 4 Jul 2015 17:17:33 -0500, Muggles wrote:

You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ...
they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!

Wissed in the front yard today. Am I special?

How can one miss the ground?!

Yes! My little Tekkie has retracted so the only thing I can't miss is my
legs or pants.

--
Tekkie *Please post a follow-up*