GREAT NEWS - JESUS CHRIST IS DEAD

According to the news,
They killed the son of a bitch earlier today!

Maybe now we I can finally do my home repairs without being disturbed by
Mormons, Jehovass Witness, and other religious idiots banging on my
door. Better yet, maybe we can finally achieve world peace, since most
wars are fought over religious beliefs.

Plus I'll probably save at least $200 a year on ammunition needed to
shoot those religious idiots that bang on my door, and another $1500 a
year for door replacement, due to excessive bullet holes!

Gotta love a drunk guy with half a brain and a gun.
I've been there, man.

On Fri, 03 Apr 2015 22:02:11 -0600, ir
wrote:

GREAT NEWS - JESUS CHRIST IS DEAD

According to the news,
They killed the son of a bitch earlier today!

Maybe now we I can finally do my home repairs without being disturbed by
Mormons, Jehovass Witness, and other religious idiots banging on my
door. Better yet, maybe we can finally achieve world peace, since most
wars are fought over religious beliefs.

Plus I'll probably save at least $200 a year on ammunition needed to
shoot those religious idiots that bang on my door, and another $1500 a
year for door replacement, due to excessive bullet holes!
Don't hold your breath. It happened almost 2000 years ago.
Sunday is coming. You'll hear he came back to life.

On 4/4/2015 12:02 AM, ir wrote:
GREAT NEWS - JESUS CHRIST IS DEAD

According to the news,
They killed the son of a bitch earlier today!

Maybe now we I can finally do my home repairs without being disturbed by
Mormons, Jehovass Witness, and other religious idiots banging on my
door. Better yet, maybe we can finally achieve world peace, since most
wars are fought over religious beliefs.

Plus I'll probably save at least $200 a year on ammunition needed to
shoot those religious idiots that bang on my door, and another $1500 a
year for door replacement, due to excessive bullet holes!


Sorry, bud. That dead guy came back, more
powerful than ever. Joke's on you, pal.

https://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/04/...risen?lang=eng
[edited for length,read full article on web]

First Presidency Message
By President Henry B. Eyring

First Counselor in the First Presidency

He Is Risen

Because Jesus Christ broke the bands of death, all of the children of
Heavenly Father born into the world will be resurrected in a body that
will never die. So my testimony and yours of that glorious truth can
take away the sting of the loss of a beloved family member or friend and
replace it with joyful anticipation and firm determination.

The Lord has given all of us the gift of resurrection, whereby our
spirits are placed in bodies free of physical imperfections (see Alma
11:42–44). My mother will appear young and radiant, the effects of age
and years of physical suffering removed. That will come to her and to us
as a gift.

The emblems of His sacrifice help us appreciate the magnitude of the
price He paid to break the bands of death, to offer us mercy, and to
provide forgiveness of all our sins if we choose to repent.


I testify that Jesus is the risen Christ, our Savior, and our perfect
example and guide to eternal life.

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wrote in message
...
GREAT NEWS - JESUS CHRIST IS DEAD

According to the news,
They killed the son of a bitch earlier today!

Maybe now we I can finally do my home repairs without being disturbed by
Mormons, Jehovass Witness, and other religious idiots banging on my
door. Better yet, maybe we can finally achieve world peace, since most
wars are fought over religious beliefs.

Plus I'll probably save at least $200 a year on ammunition needed to
shoot those religious idiots that bang on my door, and another $1500 a
year for door replacement, due to excessive bullet holes!


LOL