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#1
Posted to alt.walmart,alt.home.repair
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Black Friday fun at Walmart
Everything worked as planned yesterday as I proceeded to accomplish
all my Black Friday plans. As I arrived at Walmart about 10 minutes before the herd of wild people busted the doors down, I found a lot of pushing and shoving going on. After firing off a few cans of pepper spray, and a few bottle rockets and M80s left over from the 4th of July, I got to the head of the line. When the doors opened, I had to cope with some rude woman pushing me. A full can of pepper spray in her face sent her to the floor and probably off in an ambulance, but I did not have time to look back. I quickly filled my cart with all the cheap imported junk that I wanted to buy, and took some time out to consume a quart of scotch back in the liquor department, while eating a bag of chips I had tossed in my cart and planned to buy. Then I proceeded to the electronics dept. where I sat down between a display of crappy computers and smoked a cigar, while crashing the Windows 7 systems on the nearest computers. Some security asshole started to complain about my cigar, so I had to fire off another can of pepper spray and quickly proceed to the toy dept. In the toy dept, I demonstrated how to masturbate on a Barbie doll, and since it was impossible to get to the store restrooms, I took a **** on a stuffed Santa Claus, and wiped my ass on some old lady's dress. She began to bitch, so I had to use more pepper spray and quickly go to the woman's Lingerie dept. That's where I stripped naked and began putting on women's bras and panties, while jacking off. That was really fun. A bunch of women started fighting over the bras, so I ****ed on the bra display and they all left. That's when I decided to go to the automotive dept. and have some fun with the remaining fireworks I had brought along. I inserted about a dozen fireworks behind a display of tires and bottles of oil. I lit them all at once. That was really exciting, and caused the store security to clear out almost everyone in the store. That left me with an open checkout counter, where I quickly checked out and before leaving the store, I exposed myself to the greeter when she asked me for my receipt. She, an elderly lady was so shocked that she just told me to leave. She never did look at my receipt, and thus she never saw the fifth of tequila I had attached to the bottom on my shopping cart with the duct tape I stole from the home repair dept. This was so much fun. I love shopping at Walmart on Black Friday. Next year I plan to come to Walmart on Black Friday completely equipped with a herd of about 25 cattle. The cattle should blend right in with the people, but they'll turn Black Friday into Black Bull Friday and should do a fine job of trashing the merchandise and ****ting all over the freshly waxed Walmart floors. Black Friday is so much fun!!! |
#2
Posted to alt.walmart,alt.home.repair
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Black Friday fun at Walmart
Bob Gadget wrote:
Everything worked as planned yesterday as I proceeded to accomplish all my Black Friday plans. Yup, that's pretty much how we saw the situation here from up north. An orgy of shopping rage and retail madness. Not quite sure after all the deep discounts, cleanup, repair, extra staff and security, dealing with personal injury lawsuits, theft and trashed merchandise how these stores make any money. They'd probably come out ahead if they stayed closed that day. |
#3
Posted to alt.walmart,alt.home.repair
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Black Friday fun at Walmart
On Nov 26, 9:45*am, Bob Gadget wrote:
Everything worked as planned yesterday as I proceeded to accomplish all my Black Friday plans. As I arrived at Walmart about 10 minutes before the herd of wild people busted the doors down, I found a lot of pushing and shoving going on. *After firing off a few cans of pepper spray, and a few bottle rockets and M80s left over from the 4th of July, I got to the head of the line. *When the doors opened, I had to cope with some rude woman pushing me. *A full can of pepper spray in her face sent her to the floor and probably off in an ambulance, but I did not have time to look back. I quickly filled my cart with all the cheap imported junk that I wanted to buy, and took some time out to consume a quart of scotch back in the liquor department, while eating a bag of chips I had tossed in my cart and planned to buy. *Then I proceeded to the electronics dept. where I sat down between a display of crappy computers and smoked a cigar, while crashing the Windows 7 systems on the nearest computers. *Some security asshole started to complain about my cigar, so I had to fire off another can of pepper spray and quickly proceed to the toy dept. In the toy dept, I demonstrated how to masturbate on a Barbie doll, and since it was impossible to get to the store restrooms, I took a **** on a stuffed Santa Claus, and wiped my ass on some old lady's dress. *She began to bitch, so I had to use more pepper spray and quickly go to the woman's Lingerie dept. *That's where I stripped naked and began putting on women's bras and panties, while jacking off. *That was really fun. *A bunch of women started fighting over the bras, so I ****ed on the bra display and they all left. That's when I decided to go to the automotive dept. and have some fun with the remaining fireworks I had brought along. *I inserted about a dozen fireworks behind a display of tires and bottles of oil. *I lit them all at once. *That was really exciting, and caused the store security to clear out almost everyone in the store. *That left me with an open checkout counter, where I quickly checked out and before leaving the store, I exposed myself to the greeter when she asked me for my receipt. *She, an elderly lady was so shocked that she just told me to leave. *She never did look at my receipt, and thus she never saw the fifth of tequila I had attached to the bottom on my shopping cart with the duct tape I stole from the home repair dept. This was so much fun. *I love shopping at Walmart on Black Friday. Next year I plan to come to Walmart on Black Friday completely equipped with a herd of about 25 cattle. The cattle should blend right in with the people, but they'll turn Black Friday into Black Bull Friday and should do a fine job of trashing the merchandise and ****ting all over the freshly waxed Walmart floors. Black Friday is so much fun!!! My, you sound excessive even for aYank. Be sure to take your assault rifle next time. Pepper spray is not very permanent. You know these people deserve to die. |
#4
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Black Friday fun at Walmart
On Nov 26, 3:45*am, Bob Gadget wrote:
snip You trained for this at the occupy Wall Street orgy, right? Joe |
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