Everything worked as planned yesterday as I proceeded to accomplish
all my Black Friday plans.

As I arrived at Walmart about 10 minutes before the herd of wild
people busted the doors down, I found a lot of pushing and shoving
going on. After firing off a few cans of pepper spray, and a few
bottle rockets and M80s left over from the 4th of July, I got to the
head of the line. When the doors opened, I had to cope with some rude
woman pushing me. A full can of pepper spray in her face sent her to
the floor and probably off in an ambulance, but I did not have time to
look back.

I quickly filled my cart with all the cheap imported junk that I
wanted to buy, and took some time out to consume a quart of scotch
back in the liquor department, while eating a bag of chips I had
tossed in my cart and planned to buy. Then I proceeded to the
electronics dept. where I sat down between a display of crappy
computers and smoked a cigar, while crashing the Windows 7 systems on
the nearest computers. Some security asshole started to complain
about my cigar, so I had to fire off another can of pepper spray and
quickly proceed to the toy dept.

In the toy dept, I demonstrated how to masturbate on a Barbie doll,
and since it was impossible to get to the store restrooms, I took a
**** on a stuffed Santa Claus, and wiped my ass on some old lady's
dress. She began to bitch, so I had to use more pepper spray and
quickly go to the woman's Lingerie dept. That's where I stripped
naked and began putting on women's bras and panties, while jacking
off. That was really fun. A bunch of women started fighting over the
bras, so I ****ed on the bra display and they all left.

That's when I decided to go to the automotive dept. and have some fun
with the remaining fireworks I had brought along. I inserted about a
dozen fireworks behind a display of tires and bottles of oil. I lit
them all at once. That was really exciting, and caused the store
security to clear out almost everyone in the store. That left me with
an open checkout counter, where I quickly checked out and before
leaving the store, I exposed myself to the greeter when she asked me
for my receipt. She, an elderly lady was so shocked that she just
told me to leave. She never did look at my receipt, and thus she
never saw the fifth of tequila I had attached to the bottom on my
shopping cart with the duct tape I stole from the home repair dept.

This was so much fun. I love shopping at Walmart on Black Friday.

Next year I plan to come to Walmart on Black Friday completely
equipped with a herd of about 25 cattle. The cattle should blend right
in with the people, but they'll turn Black Friday into Black Bull
Friday and should do a fine job of trashing the merchandise and
****ting all over the freshly waxed Walmart floors.

Black Friday is so much fun!!!