I've been tolerating the ******* living under my shed since I moved in
3 years ago, because everything I've tried to do to get rid of him has
only resulted in more damage to the shed.

When I moved in he had his entrance under the front corner of the
shed. When I filled that in with rocks and broken glass, he went in
under the wall of the lean-to, and dug another hole into his burrow
from the back of the shed.

I've tried gassing him with propane. I've tried all the folk
repellants. Apparently he likes being clean and eating spicy food,
because neither irish spring soap nor cayenne pepper phased him.

The bugger has gone all Hannibal Lechter on me. There was a half-
rotted possum carcass in the entrance to his burrow. I thought that
would drive 'em away, so I left it. Now it's gone.

He's always left my stuff alone, but now he's developed a taste for
gasoline. He removed the gas cap from my push mower, and chewed the
neck off the gas tank.

I'd love to sit on my back porch and pick him off with a rifle, but
discharge of firearms is a big no-no.