When Neighbors Aren't Nice
A fail-safe guide to life with your fellow homeowners -- even the ones
who seem like next-door nightmares
Close-Quarters Complaints

Your grievance: "They borrowed our hedge trimmer [or croquet set,
snowblower,

advertisement
etc.] and haven't returned it for three months."
Peggy's advice: Don't embarrass or berate your neighbors; simply
present yourself at their door and ask them for the item. No need to
apologize; after all, it's your property. Say, "I'm planning to do
some work in the garden this weekend, and I just realized you have my
hedge trimmer. While I'm here, can I get Alex's bike pump too?
Thanks!"

Your grievance: "Their daughter wants to be the next Ringo Starr -- so
she practices the drums until midnight."
Peggy's advice: There's nothing like earsplitting noise to generate
local ill will. But bring up the problem in a friendly way and you'll
likely get some peace and quiet. Say, "It's great that Dana is
learning to play the drums! Problem is, the noise makes it difficult
for our kids to get to sleep. Would it be possible for her to wrap up
practice sessions by 9pm?" If the aspiring rock star does comply,
remember to thank her or her parents the next time you meet.

Your grievance: "Their dog uses our yard as its bathroom."
Peggy's advice: Pet owners should be diligent when it comes to
scooping the poop. To emphasize this, many communities have rules
regarding animal waste. Say, "Mr. Taylor, Fido has been relieving
himself on our lawn. We'd appreciate it if you could clean up after
him. Thanks!" If a polite conversation gets you nowhere, you still
have a few options: Ask again, seek help from the homeowners
association (if you have one) or contact your municipality to file a
complaint.

Your grievance: "She's such a gossip: When she isn't dishing about
others, she's trying to get the dirt on what's happening in my
family."
Peggy's advice: While the neighborhood grapevine can occasionally be a
good source of important news -- about a friend's illness or the
upcoming sale of a nearby home -- most gossip is intrusive. Discourage
this nosy Rosie by changing the subject or refusing to listen. Say,
"Joan, I won't hear you speak like that about Mary. She's always
saying such wonderful things about you!"

Your grievance: "When they did renovations, their contractor battered
our bushes."
Peggy's advice: Say, "The people working on your home did some damage
to our rhododendrons --- I'm hoping we can come up with a fair way to
fix the situation." Ideally, they'll offer to pay for repair work or
replacement bushes. And do unto others: Tell neighbors in advance when
you're planning a home-improvement project. That way, they can be
prepared for a certain amount of noise and mess.

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===
"Until last October, Christ had a very limited involvement in my life. I believed in God; I just never had to prove I believed. Belief is an absence of proof."
-- Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling

In article ,
Ablang wrote:

Peggy's advice: Don't embarrass or berate your neighbors; simply
present yourself at their door and ask them for the item. No need to
apologize; after all, it's your property. Say, "I'm planning to do
some work in the garden this weekend, and I just realized you have my
hedge trimmer. While I'm here, can I get Alex's bike pump too?
Thanks!"

In addition to not apologizing, and especially if you're frustrated, why
bother even explaining yourself? "I need my _____ back,
please"...what's wrong with that? Giving excuses as to why you want it
back sure *sounds* like apologizing.

Cheers,
Kendall

--
Kendall P. Bullen http://www.his.com/~kendall/
kendall@---^^^^^^^

Never e-mail me copies of Usenet postings, please.
I do read the groups to which I post!