In this day of mis- and dis- information and slurs of all kinds, I give
you a "kinder and gentler world":


An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor.
She said, "Sir you are drunk."

He said, "Madam, you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning".

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

'He has never been know to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary' William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -
Charles Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support
rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

Subject

After, "If you have to ask, you can't afford", classic put downs start
going down hill IMHO.

BTW, nice but far from complete list, especially of Churchill.

Lew

Here's a few more.

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"He couldn't pour **** out of a bucket if the instructions were on the bottom."
-- Anon

jo4hn wrote:
In this day of mis- and dis- information and slurs of all kinds, I give
you a "kinder and gentler world":


An exchange between Churchill& Lady Astor.
She said, "Sir you are drunk."

He said, "Madam, you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning".

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill& Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

'He has never been know to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary' William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.


Some nice ones. Thanks


--
Gerald Ross
Cochran, GA

I've never not had any money so much
in my life.

jo4hn wrote:
In this day of mis- and dis- information and slurs of all kinds, I
give you a "kinder and gentler world":


An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor.
She said, "Sir you are drunk."

He said, "Madam, you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning".

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


(At a stump speech in Hyde Park)

Protester: "Mr Churchill, I'd sooner vote for the devil than vote for you!"

Churchill: "And on Wednesday next, you'll get the chance!"

(As an elderly Churchill was being wheeled into a session of Parliament)

Member (to another): "What's he doing here? Some say he's senile!"

Churchill: "Yes, and some say he's deaf"

On Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:24:14 -0700, jo4hn wrote:

In this day of mis- and dis- information and slurs of all kinds, I give
you a "kinder and gentler world":


An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor.
She said, "Sir you are drunk."

He said, "Madam, you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning".

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

'He has never been know to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary' William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -
Charles Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support
rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

A few mo

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln --

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx -

"I feel so miserable without you;
it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop -

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating --

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr --

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard --

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford --

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed --

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon) --

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand --

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate,tireless
minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."
-- Samuel Adams --

On Aug 10, 8:24*pm, jo4hn wrote:
[snipped wonderful list of insults due to it being so long winded...]

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
On Aug 10, 8:24 pm, jo4hn wrote:
[snipped wonderful list of insults due to it being so long winded...]

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

Saw that yesterday; great line.

Dave in Houston

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Ya gotta love it.

Lew

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

Lew Hodgett wrote:

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

Nah, to be funny humor has to have a little truth in it.


--

There is never a situation where having more rounds is a disadvantage

Rob Leatham

"Mark & Juanita" wrote in message
m...
Lew Hodgett wrote:

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

Nah, to be funny humor has to have a little truth in it.

But, they *don't* swim.

Maybe that wasn't what she had in mind, though.

"MikeWhy" wrote:

But, they *don't* swim.

If you are referring to Negros, what total BULL ****.

Lew

On Aug 12, 2:13*am, "MikeWhy" wrote:
"Mark & Juanita" wrote in messagenews:PeOdnXqgUcyl2x_XnZ2dnUVZ_vudnZ2d@super news.com...





Lew Hodgett wrote:

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

*Nah, to be funny humor has to have a little truth in it.

But, they *don't* swim.

Maybe that wasn't what she had in mind, though.

Funny how that entered /your/ mind, though.

But I shouldn't be surprised, having listened to Limbaugh, Beck and
their ilk.

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility,
and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private
parts.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman
you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would
lift itself."

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
On Aug 12, 2:13 am, "MikeWhy" wrote:
"Mark & Juanita" wrote in
messagenews:PeOdnXqgUcyl2x_XnZ2dnUVZ_vudnZ2d@super news.com...

Lew Hodgett wrote:

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

Nah, to be funny humor has to have a little truth in it.

But, they *don't* swim.

Maybe that wasn't what she had in mind, though.

Funny how that entered /your/ mind, though.

But I shouldn't be surprised, having listened to Limbaugh, Beck and
their ilk.

=========
How did I get there? Was it inbred ignorance fueled by a lifetime of racist
hatred? Or was it just finding legs for a lame attempt at humorous insult
quoting a hollow, empty political sound byte? Dunno, you tell me. Aside from
the inappropriately nonsecular reference and the snipish quality of her
outburst, just what humor is there in your quote? What grain of truth did
you find that makes it both humorous and a good troll?

On Aug 12, 4:54*pm, "MikeWhy" wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote in message

...
On Aug 12, 2:13 am, "MikeWhy" wrote:





"Mark & Juanita" wrote in
messagenews:PeOdnXqgUcyl2x_XnZ2dnUVZ_vudnZ2d@super news.com...

Lew Hodgett wrote:

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

Nah, to be funny humor has to have a little truth in it.

But, they *don't* swim.

Maybe that wasn't what she had in mind, though.

Funny how that entered /your/ mind, though.

But I shouldn't be surprised, having listened to Limbaugh, Beck and
their ilk.

=========
How did I get there? Was it inbred ignorance fueled by a lifetime of racist
hatred? Or was it just finding legs for a lame attempt at humorous insult
quoting a hollow, empty political sound byte?

Are you THAT misogynistic? Hillary can't say anything of substance
because she is a woman?

Dunno, you tell me. Aside from
the inappropriately nonsecular reference and the snipish quality of her
outburst, just what humor is there in your quote? What grain of truth did
you find that makes it both humorous and a good troll?

Ask the people who thought it funny enough to laugh.

Oh, and the non secular reference was brought to you by those who
tagged your president as Obamasiah.... and that's a moniker which did
not originate on the left.

Get it?

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
On Aug 12, 4:54 pm, "MikeWhy" wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote in message

...
On Aug 12, 2:13 am, "MikeWhy" wrote:





"Mark & Juanita" wrote in
messagenews:PeOdnXqgUcyl2x_XnZ2dnUVZ_vudnZ2d@super news.com...

Lew Hodgett wrote:

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

Nah, to be funny humor has to have a little truth in it.

But, they *don't* swim.

Maybe that wasn't what she had in mind, though.

Funny how that entered /your/ mind, though.

But I shouldn't be surprised, having listened to Limbaugh, Beck and
their ilk.

=========
How did I get there? Was it inbred ignorance fueled by a lifetime of
racist
hatred? Or was it just finding legs for a lame attempt at humorous insult
quoting a hollow, empty political sound byte?

Are you THAT misogynistic? Hillary can't say anything of substance
because she is a woman?

==============
Every now and again, you have to stop, shake your head, and ask "where did
that come from?" I had to parse this one 4 times. Let me save you some
anxiety: On this half of the continent, "sound byte" does NOT mean "woman."
Some other day, you'll have to tell us about the women in your life, and how
you came to hold that opinion.


Dunno, you tell me. Aside from
the inappropriately nonsecular reference and the snipish quality of her
outburst, just what humor is there in your quote? What grain of truth did
you find that makes it both humorous and a good troll?

Ask the people who thought it funny enough to laugh.

Oh, and the non secular reference was brought to you by those who
tagged your president as Obamasiah.... and that's a moniker which did
not originate on the left.

Get it?

==========
No, not yet, and I don't think we're headed there. I found it snipish. You
found it humorous but don't know why. Fair enough. Tell me who held up the
cue card to laugh and I'll ask them.

On Aug 12, 7:38*pm, "MikeWhy" wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote in message

...
On Aug 12, 4:54 pm, "MikeWhy" wrote:





"Robatoy" wrote in message

....
On Aug 12, 2:13 am, "MikeWhy" wrote:

"Mark & Juanita" wrote in
messagenews:PeOdnXqgUcyl2x_XnZ2dnUVZ_vudnZ2d@super news.com...

Lew Hodgett wrote:

Robatoy" wrote:

"If Obama were to walk on water, the republicans would say he does
that because he can't swim."

--Hillary Clinton.

Wonder what the response of the AM radio crowd was?

It's too good a troll for them to pass on.

Lew

Nah, to be funny humor has to have a little truth in it.

But, they *don't* swim.

Maybe that wasn't what she had in mind, though.

Funny how that entered /your/ mind, though.

But I shouldn't be surprised, having listened to Limbaugh, Beck and
their ilk.

=========
How did I get there? Was it inbred ignorance fueled by a lifetime of
racist
hatred? Or was it just finding legs for a lame attempt at humorous insult
quoting a hollow, empty political sound byte?

Are you THAT misogynistic? Hillary can't say anything of substance
because she is a woman?

==============
Every now and again, you have to stop, shake your head, and ask "where did
that come from?" I had to parse this one 4 times. Let me save you some
anxiety: On this half of the continent, "sound byte" does NOT mean "woman.."
Some other day, you'll have to tell us about the women in your life, and how
you came to hold that opinion.



Dunno, you tell me. Aside from
the inappropriately nonsecular reference and the snipish quality of her
outburst, just what humor is there in your quote? What grain of truth did
you find that makes it both humorous and a good troll?

Ask the people who thought it funny enough to laugh.

Oh, and the non secular reference was brought to you by those who
tagged your president as Obamasiah.... and that's a moniker which did
not originate on the left.

Get it?

==========
No, not yet, and I don't think we're headed there. I found it snipish. You
found it humorous but don't know why. Fair enough.

*I* know why I thought it was funny... because it *is* funny. Every
time I see a right-winger squirm, I laugh.

Tell me who held up the
cue card to laugh and I'll ask them.

And that is NOT snipish?
Are you one of those not practicing what thou preacheth kinda people?

Anyway, I don't think that I have the skills or desire or patience to
teach somebody to laugh, so...have a nice 'take-yourself-serious' day.

r

But, they *don't* swim.

WOW - never crossed my mind reading and enjoying Clinton's Quip.

Suspect it never occurred to Hilary either - until someone may have
suggested it subsequently. But who would raise that issue save one who
believed it?

On Aug 13, 12:29*pm, Hoosierpopi wrote:
But, they *don't* swim.

WOW - never crossed my mind reading and enjoying Clinton's Quip.

Suspect it never occurred to Hilary either - until someone may have
suggested it subsequently. But who would raise that issue save one who
believed it?

Did you find it funny?

On Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:19:50 -0400, the infamous RLM
scrawled the following:

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln --

If he were still around today, he could honestly say that about every
last one of our CONgresscritters.

--
"Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free
than Christianity has made them good." --H. L. Mencken
---