http://www.runnerduck.com/flying_duck.htm

About time a quality plan was posted again.



JOAT
It's not hard, if you get your mind right.
- Granny Weatherwax

J T" wrote in message
...
http://www.runnerduck.com/flying_duck.htm

About time a quality plan was posted again.

So _that_'s the original "pukey duck"? I think I'm gonna skip breakfast.

Fri, Oct 13, 2006, 9:15am (J.*Clarke) doth
queryeth:
So _that_'s the original "pukey duck"? I think I'm gonna skip breakfast.

No, that is "A" pukey yard duck. Your ignorance on this subject is
deplorable, this is a highly respected form of yard art - in some
circles. I see that at least you showed the proper amount of respect
for them considered appropriate here. Pukey yard duck lovers of the
world unite!



JOAT
It's not hard, if you get your mind right.
- Granny Weatherwax

No, that is "A" pukey yard duck. Your ignorance on this subject is
deplorable, this is a highly respected form of yard art - in some
circles. I see that at least you showed the proper amount of respect
for them considered appropriate here. Pukey yard duck lovers of the
world unite!

So a pukey yard duck, by definition, is any duck-like yard ornament?
Google turned up almost nothing except your INSPIRATIONS. Therefore, I
think you must be the world expert on pukey yard ducks. So I'll ask
you: If I wanted to build an "authentic" pukey yard duck, should I use
hardwood or baltic birch ply or melamine-covered MDF? If I use
melamine, what color should it be? Should I finish that with poly or
varnish or waterborne? Where can I get shellac for that? How can I
keep it from rusting? Should it be laminated or bandsawn? Is there a
way I can build it without using any hand tools at all? What size DC
would be suitable for pukey yard duck production? Where can I find
pukey yard duck hardware? Do I need to set all 3 jointer knives before
starting? Will my 2hp router be big enough for that? The INSPIRATION
is nice, but where can I find a step-by-step PLAN for a pukey yard
duck?
TIA,
Andy

On 13 Oct 2006 22:14:25 -0700, "Andy" wrote:

No, that is "A" pukey yard duck. Your ignorance on this subject is
deplorable, this is a highly respected form of yard art - in some
circles. I see that at least you showed the proper amount of respect
for them considered appropriate here. Pukey yard duck lovers of the
world unite!

So a pukey yard duck, by definition, is any duck-like yard ornament?
Google turned up almost nothing except your INSPIRATIONS. Therefore, I
think you must be the world expert on pukey yard ducks. So I'll ask
you: If I wanted to build an "authentic" pukey yard duck, should I use
hardwood or baltic birch ply or melamine-covered MDF? If I use
melamine, what color should it be? Should I finish that with poly or
varnish or waterborne? Where can I get shellac for that? How can I
keep it from rusting? Should it be laminated or bandsawn? Is there a
way I can build it without using any hand tools at all? What size DC
would be suitable for pukey yard duck production? Where can I find
pukey yard duck hardware? Do I need to set all 3 jointer knives before
starting? Will my 2hp router be big enough for that? The INSPIRATION
is nice, but where can I find a step-by-step PLAN for a pukey yard
duck?
TIA,
Andy


http://groups.google.com/group/rec.w...6c77dd bcd8d2



PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ.

Q: What CAD program should I use to design my Pukey Duck?


AutoCad would be the cheapest way to go. You might try to pick up a
copy of the proprietary CAD program that ILM (Industrial Light and
Magic) uses - might be one on EBray. Lacking that, there's the design
software that NASA uses to build its stuff - O'Deen prolly has a copy
laying around.


Q: Where can I get plans for Pukey Ducks?


JOAT would be happy to give you free plans. He's always happy to
reply to emule requests for free plans from folks just like you.
Hell, if you're in the neighborhood, just stop on by and see him. If
I can find his phone number, I'll cross post it to all of Usenet so
that you'll be sure to see it.


Q: Many ask: "I have become entranced by the design
possibilities of 'Robin's Butt'. This curve has come to replace the
'Cyma Recta' as well as the 'Cyma Reversa' in my work. Is it
acceptable to include this element in my Pukey Duck?"


My own response would be only to refer to that wisdom that I've seen
on Television:

"A behind is a terrible thing to waste."


Q: I went looking for Genuine Taiwanese Budgetwood for my
pukey duck but couldn't find it at my local lumber yard. I
did find it at WalMart but it was already a piece of
furniture. Is it OK to use this?


Recycling is an honorable way to go on this projekt and yer a fine ole
dood fer even thinkin' 'bout it. Anyone who makes a Pukey Duck from
virgin timbre prolly oughta have a can a whoopazz opened up on them.

If you will note Jummy's eponymic reference to Jummywood (see supra)
you will see that this is the only appropriate old growth slammajamma
to make Pukey Ducks with.


Back to that recycling issue: Be sure to plane off the staple marks
from the WallyWorld Funiture. It is considered to be bad norm
(psy...) to leave these as a reference to its previous usage.


(BTW: Watch out fer boltheads and such when you run yer Satanly
Cabnet Skraper over yer Pukey Duck. Gettcha one a Nahmie's Airline
Quality Metal Detectors (hurry to buy one - they're gettin' scarcer
than Satanly 55 Nickers) and give a couple passes over yer work.
Dat's da ticket!)



Q: Should I stain my Pukey Duck or leave it natural?


This is one of those religious issues that pops up occassionaly here
on The Wreck. I don't really give a damn what you do.


Q: What are the contest rules?


Who said anything about rules? This is The Wreck, dipstick - and we
don't need no steenkin' rules. Anyway, I'm figuring that we all put
up pictures of our Pukey Ducks and on the Eighth Anniversary (April
24) we'll borrow the Applause Meter from 'Name That Tune' and use it.


Q: Hasn't 'Name That Tune' been off the air for years?


(sound of gunshot) Next question.


Q: Will the competition be broken down into categories?


I was hoping that each of the entries would be so distinctive as to
resist categorization entirely but in a general sense we could have
MOST PUKEY, MOST DUCKY, BEST NEANDER DUQUE, BEST NORMITE DUK, that
sorta thing.


Q: Where should I put up pictures of my completed Pukey Duck?


I don't give a...Oh, that was a previous question. Well, ya could put
them up on ABPW but I'd stay away from ABPF because those guys are a
bunch of elitist pricks and it's best not to get them all fired up.
You could put them up on your personal webspace, provided by your ISP.
You could hack into the CIA website and put them up there, for that
matter.


Q: What kind of finish should I put on my Pukey Duck?


Another religious question. The traditional Pukey Duck finish is dog
pee. It will not be a problem, even for the most neo of neophytes to
achieve the warm amber glow that marks this historically correct
finish. Just set your freshly sanded Pukey Duck on the lawn - dogs
will pass up a bitch in heat to pee on a freshly sanded Pukey Duck.


Q: How many entries can I put up?


It's kinda like they say about Election Day in Philly - 'Vote Early
and Often'. Since there ain't no rules it don't matter how many
entries you put up. You ain't gonna win nuthin' anyways.


Q: Speaking of that - what are the prizes?


(Quoting a Great American) 'Sigh...' You really need to get over
this childish bull**** about prizes and such. Who are we to sit in
judgement over another man's Pukey Duck and therefore who are we to
hand out prizes. Besides, yer talkin' about some seriously cheap
bastuhds, no way anybody's kickin' in to provide prize money for some
stupid Pukey Duck. If the acclaim and huzzahs of yer fellow
rec.normites ain't enough fer ya - bugger off then.


(This Pukey Duck FAQ is a living document. All suggestions will be
carefully considered before being ignored. Have a nice day).



Regards,

Tom Watson

tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email)

http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/

"Andy" wrote in message
ps.com...
No, that is "A" pukey yard duck. Your ignorance on this subject is
deplorable, this is a highly respected form of yard art - in some
circles. I see that at least you showed the proper amount of respect
for them considered appropriate here. Pukey yard duck lovers of the
world unite!

So a pukey yard duck, by definition, is any duck-like yard ornament?
Google turned up almost nothing except your INSPIRATIONS. Therefore, I
think you must be the world expert on pukey yard ducks. So I'll ask
you: If I wanted to build an "authentic" pukey yard duck, should I use
hardwood or baltic birch ply or melamine-covered MDF? If I use
melamine, what color should it be? Should I finish that with poly or
varnish or waterborne? Where can I get shellac for that? How can I
keep it from rusting? Should it be laminated or bandsawn? Is there a
way I can build it without using any hand tools at all? What size DC
would be suitable for pukey yard duck production? Where can I find
pukey yard duck hardware? Do I need to set all 3 jointer knives before
starting? Will my 2hp router be big enough for that? The INSPIRATION
is nice, but where can I find a step-by-step PLAN for a pukey yard
duck?

Also, what's a fair price for a PUKEY YARD DUCK (mustn't forget the
capitalization) and how's the market for them and what's the best way to
market them?

Fri, Oct 13, 2006, 10:14pm (EDT-3) (Andy) doth
puzzedly queryth:
So a pukey yard duck, by definition, is any duck-like yard ornament?
Google turned up almost nothing except your INSPIRATIONS. Therefore, I
think you must be the world expert on pukey yard ducks.snip

Ah, a common amateur's mistake. The Fraternal Order of Pukey Duck
Makers was in existance long before I got here, so it's obvious you did
a poor job of googling. I've only been here for 10 years or so, and
apparently you've been here for a lot less than that, but have not
paying much attention. As for "expert" pukey duck status, that might
well be Tom Watson, he's more knowledgable than anyone else I've ever
heard of, I just post the stuff as I run across it. You need to
address any and all questions to Tom, I'd give you his telephone number
if I had it, you could call collect; I don't, so e-mail will have to
suffice. E-mail him with any and all questions you may have, and
encourage any of your friends with questions to e-mail him also.

Good luck on your puky duck making.



JOAT
It's not hard, if you get your mind right.
- Granny Weatherwax

Sat, Oct 14, 2006, 5:55am (Tom*Watson) doth wisely
posteth:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.w...6c77dd bcd8d2
PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ. snip

Ah, I just finished talling Andy that you were the pukey duck
guru, and here you post this - proving me right. Take the poor chap
under your wing Tom, and try to show him the light. It'll probably be
an uphill battle, but It'd be great if you could help the poor soul out.

Oh yeah, no one should send e-mail to me, I've got old wasshisname
filtering all my e-mail for me, so be sure to send your e-mail to him,
and not me. It works better all around that way. Thanks.



JOAT
It's not hard, if you get your mind right.
- Granny Weatherwax

Sat, Oct 14, 2006, 7:43am (J.*Clarke) now doth
query:
Also, what's a fair price for a PUKEY YARD DUCK (mustn't forget the
capitalization) and how's the market for them and what's the best way to
market them?

Oh c'mon now, you can't ask a general question like that and really
expect a viable answer. Besides quality of work, species of duck, and
so on, it always depends on location, location, location. You're not
going to get the same price in Kansas City (either one), as in New Youk
City, and not the same price in New York City as in San Francisco. Tsk,
tsk, tsk, you should be ashamed, asking such a questions.



JOAT
It's not hard, if you get your mind right.
- Granny Weatherwax

On Sat, 14 Oct 2006 11:19:50 -0400, J T wrote:

suffice. E-mail him with any and all questions you may have, and
encourage any of your friends with questions to e-mail him also.

Good luck on your puky duck making.


Nota Bene: There is no need to confine your questions to the topic of
Pukey Ducks, either. Just ask him any ol' question and he'll gladly stay
up all night doing Google searches on your behalf while you prepare
yourself mentally (by getting a full nights sleep) to reject his answers.

Bill