Men Are Just Happier People ...

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never get
pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell, you can
wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never
have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just
too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on
a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress:
$5000.00. Tux rental: $100.00. People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is not only
appreciated by your friends, but practically expected. New shoes don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and
neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides
your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do"
your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle it
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

On Sat, 02 Sep 2006 17:26:44 GMT, Lew Hodgett
wrote:

Men Are Just Happier People ...

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never get
pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell, you can
wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never
have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just
too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on
a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress:
$5000.00. Tux rental: $100.00. People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is not only
appreciated by your friends, but practically expected. New shoes don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and
neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides
your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do"
your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle it
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.


Thats great, Lew. Did you pen this?

Joe Bemier wrote:

Thats great, Lew. Did you pen this?

Can lay no claim to this one, just passing it along.


Lew

Lew Hodgett wrote:
Men Are Just Happier People ...

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never
get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell, you
can wear NO shirt to a water park.

snipped some stuff

Are you sure about us being happier?

What about when she walks out on ya. :-(

--
Sir Benjamin Middlethwaite

The3rd Earl Of Derby wrote:
Lew Hodgett wrote:
Men Are Just Happier People ...

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never
get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell, you
can wear NO shirt to a water park.

snipped some stuff

Are you sure about us being happier?

What about when she walks out on ya. :-(


You're kidding, right? When my first wife left, I didn't stop smiling
for at least a week.

Charlie Self wrote:
The3rd Earl Of Derby wrote:
Lew Hodgett wrote:
Men Are Just Happier People ...

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.
You can never get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water
park. Hell, you can wear NO shirt to a water park.

snipped some stuff

Are you sure about us being happier?

What about when she walks out on ya. :-(


You're kidding, right? When my first wife left, I didn't stop smiling
for at least a week.

All I can add to that is...

Some women make mistakes...she found the mistake and rectified it.

--
Sir Benjamin Middlethwaite

But we statistically die younger. Of course it's often with a smile
so that's a push. Not so with divorce settlements but hey - it's
just money and stuff - both replacable.

To paraphrase Mel Brooks' "It's good to be king!" - it's good
being a guy.

Thanks for the reminder.

charlie b

In article , says...
But we statistically die younger. Of course it's often with a smile
so that's a push. Not so with divorce settlements but hey - it's
just money and stuff - both replacable.


Why do men die before their wives do? - Because they want to.

:-\

B.t.w. the extra credits for acts of thoughtfulness thing doesn't work out.
You can be as thoughtful as you bloody like, for weeks at a stretch, at the
first hint of an imagined slight you are in the doghouse. Credits just don't
get banked for guys :-(

-P.
(yes, I am having a very 'bad hair' day)

--
=========================================
firstname dot lastname at gmail fullstop com

Peter Huebner wrote in
t:


Why do men die before their wives do? - Because they want to.


I thought it was so they didn't have to hear their wives complain any
more. ;-)

*snip*

Puckdropper

(P.S. I'm not married so using "we" would be inappropriate.)
--
Wise is the man who attempts to answer his question before asking it.

To email me directly, send a message to puckdropper (at) fastmail.fm

"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
news
Men Are Just Happier People ...


[...] You know stuff about tanks.[...]

Tanks? I don't know a thing about them.
should I be worried?

Tim W

Tim W (in ) said:

| "Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
| news || Men Are Just Happier People ...
||
|
|| [...] You know stuff about tanks.[...]
||
| Tanks? I don't know a thing about them.
| should I be worried?

Nah - you know more than you think you do. For example, you know
there's no 710 tank under the 710 cap, even tho there is a gas tank
under the gas cap.

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

Yes.

"Tim W" wrote in message
...
Tanks? I don't know a thing about them.
should I be worried?

Tim W

"Tim W" wrote in message
...

"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
news
Men Are Just Happier People ...


[...] You know stuff about tanks.[...]

Tanks? I don't know a thing about them.
should I be worried?

Tim W

You might want to check your manometer.

todd

"todd" wrote in message
. ..
"Tim W" wrote in message
...

"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
news
Men Are Just Happier People ...


[...] You know stuff about tanks.[...]

Tanks? I don't know a thing about them.
should I be worried?

Tim W

You might want to check your manometer.

todd

That was torrible!

- Owen -

"Tim W" wrote in message
...

"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
news
Men Are Just Happier People ...


[...] You know stuff about tanks.[...]

Tanks? I don't know a thing about them.
should I be worried?

Tim W

HOMO!!
(not that there's anything wrong with that)

B.

"Tim W" wrote in news:LZkKg.2269
:


"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
news
Men Are Just Happier People ...


[...] You know stuff about tanks.[...]

Tanks? I don't know a thing about them.
should I be worried?

Tim W



Sure you know stuff about tanks. You know if the gas tank is empty the
car's not going to go very far, right?

Knowledge is sometimes about learning what you know.

Puckdropper
--
Wise is the man who attempts to answer his question before asking it.

To email me directly, send a message to puckdropper (at) fastmail.fm

Lew Hodgett wrote:
Men Are Just Happier People ...

... Chocolate is just another snack. ...

Mostly good stuff, but this? That's like someone who thinks sex is
just another form of exercise. Trust me, they are NOT happier.

Thanks for the laugh!

Mark

redbelly wrote:
Lew Hodgett wrote:
Men Are Just Happier People ...

Arghfffff... who needs a woman, dammit!!!

*tapping forefinger on bottom lip...then chin....*

"I DO!!!!"

(well..maybe not 'NEED'...but sure love this one!)

I have been a reasonably strong wage-earner all my life, but to go
toe-to-toe with this woman sure makes it fun.

God bless the weaker sex!

*takes a right hook in the eye*




r