I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve

"Steve B" wrote

I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse. I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun
rack, and many things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve
Well, the crate of corncobs is a favorite.

My grandfather used to do this to folks who visited him. He always told
them that he was going to build on a bathroom soon. (But he already did.) He
was a prankster. He would also hide the toliet paper.

Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack,
and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?


A stack of red corn cobs and a stack of white corn cobs?

Why red and white you ask?

You use a red cob, then a white cob to see if you need to use another
red cob.

Lew

Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve


Steve - You have been posting about your outhouse project since last
october. you haven't built that crapper yet? Thought you were going to
be done by spring.

Inviato da X-Privat.Org - Registrazione gratuita http://www.x-privat.org/join.php

A well-equipped outhouse should have a mirror and a bidet.

Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve

A stack of red corn cobs and a stack of white corn cobs?


Why red and white you ask?


You use a red cob, then a white cob to see if you need to use another
red cob.


Lew


About fell out of my chair laughing on that one. High redneck science,
no doubt. (He says... filing that one away for future use)

Robert

"Steve B" wrote in message
news:nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01...
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse. I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun
rack, and many things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve


Steve, I have built literally hundreds of latrines.

http://www.teamcasa.org/latrine.htm

Funny gags? Don't forget the Sears catalog - Oh wait they don't print one
any more! I like the one where the toilet paper roll only gives one sheet
at a time. Also, it must have a half moon on the door.

Dave



Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
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Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve


Keep in mind that if you build the outhouse 100' from the house, in the
winter that's going to be 100' too far and in the summer 100' too close.
Also, put a speaker under the seat so's you can surprise your guests.
mahalo,
jo4hn

"jo4hn" wrote in message
...
snip


Keep in mind that if you build the outhouse 100' from the house, in the
winter that's going to be 100' too far and in the summer 100' too close.
Also, put a speaker under the seat so's you can surprise your guests.
mahalo,
jo4hn
snip
I imagined a LOUD hollow "God that stinks... what died?" played shortly
after seating
Tom

"No" wrote in message ...
Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse. I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun
rack, and many things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve
Steve - You have been posting about your outhouse project since last
october. you haven't built that crapper yet? Thought you were going to be
done by spring.


Hell, we had to wait for the snow to clear. Went up there a couple of weeks
ago and worked on a retaining wall. Am taking some wrought iron and
electric hoist up this coming weekend.

I'm retired, and there still isn't enough time to do everything. In the
meantime, what's the harm in getting more info? Nothing like good planning
and research.

Steve

"Noone" wrote in message
...

"jo4hn" wrote in message
...
snip


Keep in mind that if you build the outhouse 100' from the house, in the
winter that's going to be 100' too far and in the summer 100' too close.
Also, put a speaker under the seat so's you can surprise your guests.
mahalo,
jo4hn
snip
I imagined a LOUD hollow "God that stinks... what died?" played shortly
after seating
Tom

A buddy of mine has a battery powered fart maker, and a remote. I wonder
what the range is on those.

Steve

"jo4hn" wrote in message
...
Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse. I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun
rack, and many things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve
Keep in mind that if you build the outhouse 100' from the house, in the
winter that's going to be 100' too far and in the summer 100' too close.
Also, put a speaker under the seat so's you can surprise your guests.
mahalo,
jo4hn

HEY (lady) (fellow) we are painting down here

"jo4hn" wrote in message
...
Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse. I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun
rack, and many things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve
Keep in mind that if you build the outhouse 100' from the house, in the
winter that's going to be 100' too far and in the summer 100' too close.
Also, put a speaker under the seat so's you can surprise your guests.
mahalo,
jo4hn

HEY (lady) (fellow) we are painting down here



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"Steve B" wrote in message
news:nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01...
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse. I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun
rack, and many things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve
Practical Fur lined seat (flip up seat for the gents.) and an electric
heater controlled from cabin. Turn on a while before going to out house.



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In article nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01,
"Steve B" wrote:

I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Magazine rack, which depending on the TP situation, could be a very
practical item.

Condom dispenser. Or, if you prefer, feminine hygiene product dispenser.
Or both, if it's a unisex outhouse.

Sandpaper dispenser, for taking care of the occasional splinter.

I remember one time back in Boy Scout summer camp, we went on a three-day
canoe trip and spent one night on some island somewhere that had a *locked*
outhouse. Why somebody would lock an outhouse is beyond me. Were they
afraid something would get stolen??? Rather than break the lock off, we
just unscrewed the hinges on the other side of the door :-)

Steve B (in nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01) said:

| I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the
| water is shut off.
|
| I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
| outhouse. I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish,
| gun rack, and many things.
|
| What joke items would you put on it?
|
| What practical useful things would you put in?
|
| Steve

Catalogs and corn cobs are for sissies.

Hang up a roll of this stuff:

http://www.treachery.net/~jdyson/hum...oilet_paper.ht
ml

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

"Steve B" wrote in message
news:nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01...
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and
many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve



Well if you want to show that you are well off you should make it a
"two-holer" - then you and the wife can use it at the same time. . .

Having the door cut so you can open the top half and enjoy the view while
the bottom part is closed shows class too. . .


BB

"BB" wrote in message
news:Mr7fg.12554$U_2.333@trnddc05...

"Steve B" wrote in message
news:nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01...
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and
many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve



Well if you want to show that you are well off you should make it a
"two-holer" - then you and the wife can use it at the same time. . .

Having the door cut so you can open the top half and enjoy the view while
the bottom part is closed shows class too. . .


BB



That keeper is going to the file. I had a suggestion that we put a window
in the top half of a one part door. But I like your Dutch door idea better.

I just had the thought of making a divider between the two holes, and
putting two pieces of screen with a gauzy cloth between them like a Catholic
confessional. So the two could talk, but have privacy.

Steve

how bout doing a 2 story set up

"Steve B" wrote in message
news:_y8fg.98096$iU2.63565@fed1read01...

Having the door cut so you can open the top half and enjoy the view while
the bottom part is closed shows class too. . .


BB



That keeper is going to the file. I had a suggestion that we put a window
in the top half of a one part door. But I like your Dutch door idea
better.

I just had the thought of making a divider between the two holes, and
putting two pieces of screen with a gauzy cloth between them like a
Catholic confessional. So the two could talk, but have privacy.

Indeed. Don't make it _too_ close in there. An elderly gentleman who
expired in the necessary up here required tearing the place half down to
get him out. Frozen, though. A call to remember.

You could always add a nice seat....some horror inspiring thing....
Splinters, rusty nails....that sort of thing.

Another nice touch would be sign with "Please DO NOT feed snakes, mice,
or other micellaneous visitors".

In article ,
"Morris Dovey" wrote:

Hang up a roll of this stuff:

Yyyyouch!

How about a sky light. Sure would be nice to be able to read.
Puff

"Steve B" wrote in message news:_y8fg.98096$iU2.63565@fed1read01...

"BB" wrote in message
news:Mr7fg.12554$U_2.333@trnddc05...

"Steve B" wrote in message
news:nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01...
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and
many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve



Well if you want to show that you are well off you should make it a
"two-holer" - then you and the wife can use it at the same time. . .

Having the door cut so you can open the top half and enjoy the view while
the bottom part is closed shows class too. . .


BB



That keeper is going to the file. I had a suggestion that we put a window
in the top half of a one part door. But I like your Dutch door idea better.

I just had the thought of making a divider between the two holes, and
putting two pieces of screen with a gauzy cloth between them like a Catholic
confessional. So the two could talk, but have privacy.

Steve

In article ,
jo4hn wrote:

Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and
many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve


Keep in mind that if you build the outhouse 100' from the house, in the
winter that's going to be 100' too far and in the summer 100' too close.
Also, put a speaker under the seat so's you can surprise your guests.
mahalo,
jo4hn

I'm sure our friend Morris can built a little battery powered
servo-driven rodent/snake/hand/BabyChuckyFace/... with some green LED
eyeballs to go BOOGA BOOGA when lifting the lid?

...may not have to sit down after that..anymore...
off to the showers

r

I recall reading when I lived in Arizona that, historically, the majority of
serious/fatal black widow bites occurred in the early years of settlement
and resulted from the spiders' fondness for spinning their webs on the
cool,dark underside of outhouse seats (and, of course, the lack of access to
advanced medical care). Need for caution still pertains:
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/black...e/page9_em.htm

I'll leave the design of a suitable 'spider evicter' as an exercise for the
interested reader :-)

David Merrill


"Steve B" wrote in message
news:nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01...
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

snip...

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve

Run an underground cable to supply enough power for a small light so you can
find the TP in the dark -- you may not want to turn it on for long in summer
as the mosquitoes will find you faster. It may also be useable for a small
heater for winter, just to make life a little bit more comfortable. Possibly
with a switch in the cabin to pre-heat the privy. All that means you need to
weather-strip the door and have any openings closable to keep the heat in.
On second thought, why not an AC for summer use, controlled the same as the
heater.

"Ross Hebeisen" wrote in message
...
how bout doing a 2 story set up

"EXT" wrote in message
ews.com...
Run an underground cable to supply enough power for a small light so you
can find the TP in the dark -- you may not want to turn it on for long in
summer as the mosquitoes will find you faster.

I will be putting in a solar powered motion light.

Steve

"David Merrill" wrote in message
news:m0hfg.998889$xm3.303005@attbi_s21...
I recall reading when I lived in Arizona that, historically, the majority
of
serious/fatal black widow bites occurred in the early years of settlement
and resulted from the spiders' fondness for spinning their webs on the
cool,dark underside of outhouse seats (and, of course, the lack of access
to
advanced medical care). Need for caution still pertains:

In Utah, it is the hobo spider, similar to the brown recluse in its bite.

Steve

Robatoy (in )
said:

| In article ,
| jo4hn wrote:
|
|| Steve B wrote:
||| I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the
||| water is shut off.
|||
||| I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting
||| outhouse.
||| I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun
||| rack, and many
||| things.
|||
||| What joke items would you put on it?
|||
||| What practical useful things would you put in?
|||
||| Steve
|||
|||
|| Keep in mind that if you build the outhouse 100' from the house,
|| in the winter that's going to be 100' too far and in the summer
|| 100' too close. Also, put a speaker under the seat so's you can
|| surprise your guests. mahalo,
|| jo4hn
|
| I'm sure our friend Morris can built a little battery powered
| servo-driven rodent/snake/hand/BabyChuckyFace/... with some green
| LED eyeballs to go BOOGA BOOGA when lifting the lid?
|
| ..may not have to sit down after that..anymore...
| off to the showers

Morris would go hi-tech to the extent of building an uplevel cistern,
downlevel septic system, and installing indoor plumbing. Hmm... Solar
panels to heat water and keep the house warm (above freezing, at
least.)

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

- make it a 2-holer and tell people that there is a hole for each leg
and a nice clean board to poop on.
- add plastic spiders on the boards
- no toilet seat, just the holes
- Sears catalog for those 'oops' moments
- a few dried corn cobs on the side too
- the infamous half moon cut into the door
- leave it tilted to one side just for grins
- beware of snakes and alligators sign
- maybe even a little piped in music of farts or jungle animals or
halloween screams
- cold wet spagetti on the floor (worms)
- you might even add a little water spigot under the boards and give the
'guest' an occasional shot of cold water from afar on their butts from
time to time - or a small blast of air.
Ahhhhh, the things we did when we were kids to outhouses................

Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

What practical useful things would you put in?

Steve

In article nKZeg.98039$iU2.96066@fed1read01,
Steve B wrote:
I need to build an outhouse at my cabin for winter use when the water is
shut off.

I want to put up some kooky things, and make it a real interesting outhouse.
I have thought of things like TV antenna, satellite dish, gun rack, and many
things.

What joke items would you put on it?

A brick exterior. To be really classy, you use curved bricks and make a
_round_ one.

'Walnut paneling' for the interior -- some of that fake Masonite stuff. (It's
comparatively inexpensive, and the 'picture of wood' side is impervious to
most stuff.)

A dummy security camera, and a "smile, you're on Candid Camera" sign.

Any of numerous things, (delayed-action) activated by the closing of the
door.

A fake door on an inside wall, labelled "Jacuzzi".

A trap-door in the floor, labelled "Wine cellar".

If it's on skids/runners -- so you just dig a new hole and move it, when
it gets 'full' -- a steering-wheel in front of one of the seats. Which
also leads to the possibility of tarting-up the exterior like some of the
'big rigs'.


What practical useful things would you put in?

The obvious -- a roll of TP.

The not-so-obvious -- *another* roll of TP. You *will* discover that the
first one runs out at a _most_ inopportune time.

It's a whole lot easier to use at night, if there is at least 'minimal'
lighting available in situ.

Switchable heater and/or fan is not a bad idea, either.

Something to use as an 'emergency raincoat' -- again, sooner or later, you
will get caught out there by a downpour.

Aerosol air freshener.

Lysol.

In article ,
"Morris Dovey" wrote:

Morris would go hi-tech to the extent of building an uplevel cistern,
downlevel septic system, and installing indoor plumbing. Hmm... Solar
panels to heat water and keep the house warm (above freezing, at
least.)

Yabbut... all well and good...but not even ONE little wee prank?

In article ,
(Robert Bonomi) wrote:

[snippage of some wonderful ideas]

....maybe add:

a velvet Elvis painting... or those dogs playing pool/cards.

a plastic 'wrought iron' torch.. with one of those electric flat
filament 'flicker' bulbs?

A Red Green bobble head.

"David Merrill" wrote in
news:m0hfg.998889$xm3.303005@attbi_s21:

*snip*

I'll leave the design of a suitable 'spider evicter' as an exercise
for the interested reader :-)

David Merrill


A series of pinball flippers, maybe? Use the rest of the electronics
from the pinball table creatively in the outhose ;-)

Puckdropper
--
www.uncreativelabs.net

Old computers are getting to be a lost art. Here at Uncreative Labs, we
still enjoy using the old computers. Sometimes we want to see how far a
particular system can go, other times we use a stock system to remind
ourselves of what we once had.

To email me directly, send a message to puckdropper (at) fastmail.fm

Robatoy (in ) said:

| In article ,
| "Morris Dovey" wrote:
|
|| Morris would go hi-tech to the extent of building an uplevel
|| cistern, downlevel septic system, and installing indoor plumbing.
|| Hmm... Solar panels to heat water and keep the house warm (above
|| freezing, at least.)
|
| Yabbut... all well and good...but not even ONE little wee prank?

On /washable/ toilet seats, paint "Abandon all hope, ye who enter
here".

On a more serious note - get a gallon plastic jug and an
appropriate-sized piece of PVC pipe and build a screw-to-the-wall
urinal. The PVC should extend at least 6" below the deck and
sealed/cemented to the floor. Do artistic trimming of the plastic jug
and paint a large "P" over it so first-time visitors won't be
confused. Nobody likes a sticky/wet toilet seat - and you'll accrue
serious points with your female visitors.

An outside wall might be a good place to mount a dry sink for washing
up before/after.

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

"Robert Bonomi" wrote in message
...
A brick exterior. To be really classy, you use curved bricks and make a
_round_ one.

'Walnut paneling' for the interior -- some of that fake Masonite stuff.
(It's
comparatively inexpensive, and the 'picture of wood' side is impervious to
most stuff.)


Nope, wrong woods. Was a group, once again, out in Utah, I believe which
made them from plywood. Called themselves the Birch John Society....

Steve B wrote:

...

What practical useful things would you put in?



Hanging on the inside of the door, a chalkboard.

--

FF

Would it be best to use cedar or redwood for the outside? Another wood?

STeve

Steve B (in wwKfg.102320$iU2.10038@fed1read01) said:

| Would it be best to use cedar or redwood for the outside? Another
| wood?

It wouldn't be important to me. I'd use whatever was local and
inexpensive and plan on replacing it when time and weather dictated.
An inexpensive pottery water pitcher and basin, a bar of soap, and a
reasonably clean towel add up to Civilized Luxury in the context of an
outhouse.

It'd probably make more sense to worry out how to keep towel and soap
both dry and convenient than to be fussy about the wood...

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

"Morris Dovey" wrote

An inexpensive pottery water pitcher and basin, a bar of soap, and a
reasonably clean towel add up to Civilized Luxury in the context of an
outhouse.

It'd probably make more sense to worry out how to keep towel and soap
both dry and convenient than to be fussy about the wood...

--
Morris Dovey

We have a gravity fed water system from a spring. It will be easy to tap
into it and make a sylvan hygiene station. I wasn't worrying a lot about
the wood. I just like doing it once and doing it right, rather than the
trial and error method.

Steve