This morning, my neighbor's dog was wandering around in my yard.
That's not really unusual, he jumps the fence a lot and since my dogs
like playing with his, I just put him in the back yard and went into
the house to leave a message on his owner's answering machine so he
can be picked up tonight.

Apparently, I didn't close the door to my shop all the way. When I
came out, the door was wide open and I got inside just in time to see
the neighbor's dog lift his leg on my almost-finished project, an
8-foot custom oak bookshelf for my wife.

My first thought was "where's my axe and how do I make this look like
an accident."

Luckily, I already had two coats of stain and a coat of poly on it and
was about to put the second coat of poly on today, so there was no
damage done. It got wiped off, I sprayed some odor remover and I'm
waiting to make sure there's no smell before I put on the second coat
of poly.

Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one of
those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we don't
talk about.

Brian Henderson wrote:


Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one of
those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we don't
talk about.

Never speak of this again...

B a r r y wrote:

Brian Henderson wrote:


Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one
of those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we
don't talk about.

Never speak of this again...


Agreed. If you tell her about it, she WILL smell it forever.

Joe Barta

On Fri, 17 Feb 2006 18:10:47 GMT, B a r r y
wrote:

Brian Henderson wrote:
Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one of
those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we don't
talk about.

Never speak of this again...

Yeah, probably best. I heard back from the guy, he came home for
lunch and then came to get the dog and apologized all over the place,
but there was no harm done, so no harm, no foul. It's still a good
dog, I just have to remember to keep the door shut tightly when he's
around.

Brian Henderson wrote:

It's
still a good dog, I just have to remember to keep the door shut
tightly when he's around.

It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with a
handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day and
mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas dinner at a
Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...

Joe Barta

On Fri, 17 Feb 2006 18:10:47 GMT, B a r r y
wrote:


Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one of
those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we don't
talk about.

Never speak of this again...

I agree...and next time you are over at the neighbor's house,
you know what to do. :-)

Mike O.

Yeah, probably best. I heard back from the guy, he came home for
lunch and then came to get the dog and apologized all over the place,
but there was no harm done, so no harm, no foul. It's still a good
dog, I just have to remember to keep the door shut tightly when he's
around.

Expanding on what Joe said earlier, don't forget to make sure your neighbor
never mentions it either. If you clam up but then the neighbor blurts out
something to your wife, there's no amount of Urine-Gone that will make her
not smell dog pee forever.

Lee

--
To e-mail, replace "bucketofspam" with "dleegordon"

_________________________________
Lee Gordon
http://www.leegordonproductions.com

Brian Henderson (in ) said:

| Luckily, I already had two coats of stain and a coat of poly on it
| and was about to put the second coat of poly on today, so there was
| no damage done. It got wiped off, I sprayed some odor remover and
| I'm waiting to make sure there's no smell before I put on the
| second coat of poly.

Hmm. I think I'd be tempted to put the third coat on the /dog/.

| Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one of
| those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we don't
| talk about.

Nooooo! (Tell her what? Did we miss something?)

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

Joe Barta typed:

It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with a
handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day and
mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas dinner at a
Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...


Joe Barta


Joe, Was your turkey still alive at this point of time?

Marc

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .
marc rosen wrote:

Joe Barta typed:

It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with a
handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day and
mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas dinner at
a
Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...


Joe Barta


Joe, Was your turkey still alive at this point of time?

Marc


No, it was almost completely cooked. Mom had taken it out of the oven
and set it on the table for a minute. At the same time, I had
accidentally shot myself in the eye with the BB gun I had just gotten
for Christmas. Needless to say, I couldn't tell Mom I just shot my eye
out, because that's what she had been worrying about all along. I told
her that an icicle had fallen off the house and hit me in the face.

Anyhow, I'm getting off track. While mom was tending to me, the dogs
got into the house and got at the turkey while it was sitting on the
kitchen table. In a matter of seconds the mostly cooked turkey was
torn apart by those damn dogs.

Interestingly, Dad noticed that the dogs had come in through the FRONT
door, yet it was the BACK door that was left open. That's been a
family mystery ever since.

Joe Barta

LOL...

marc rosen wrote:

Joe Barta typed:

It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with a
handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day and
mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas dinner at
a
Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...


Joe Barta


Joe, Was your turkey still alive at this point of time?

Marc


No, it was almost completely cooked. Mom had taken it out of the oven
and set it on the table for a minute. At the same time, I had
accidentally shot myself in the eye with the BB gun I had just gotten
for Christmas. Needless to say, I couldn't tell Mom I just shot my eye
out, because that's what she had been worrying about all along. I told
her that an icicle had fallen off the house and hit me in the face.

Anyhow, I'm getting off track. While mom was tending to me, the dogs
got into the house and got at the turkey while it was sitting on the
kitchen table. In a matter of seconds the mostly cooked turkey was
torn apart by those damn dogs.

Interestingly, Dad noticed that the dogs had come in through the FRONT
door, yet it was the BACK door that was left open. That's been a
family mystery ever since.

Joe Barta

Oh that? That was no big deal, I forgot all about it.


"Lee Gordon" wrote in message
...
Expanding on what Joe said earlier, don't forget to make sure your
neighbor never mentions it either. If you clam up but then the neighbor
blurts out something to your wife, there's no amount of Urine-Gone that
will make her not smell dog pee forever.

Lee

--
To e-mail, replace "bucketofspam" with "dleegordon"

_________________________________
Lee Gordon
http://www.leegordonproductions.com

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .

Agreed. If you tell her about it, she WILL smell it forever.

Oh, she is going to smell it alright... Just don't tell her what it is that
she smells.

Joe Barta wrote:
It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with a
handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day and
mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas dinner at
a
Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...

Joe,

No, it was almost completely cooked. Mom had taken it out of the oven
and set it on the table for a minute. At the same time, I had
accidentally shot myself in the eye with the BB gun I had just gotten
for Christmas. Needless to say, I couldn't tell Mom I just shot my eye
out, because that's what she had been worrying about all along. I told
her that an icicle had fallen off the house and hit me in the face.

Anyhow, I'm getting off track. While mom was tending to me, the dogs
got into the house and got at the turkey while it was sitting on the
kitchen table. In a matter of seconds the mostly cooked turkey was
torn apart by those damn dogs.

Interestingly, Dad noticed that the dogs had come in through the FRONT
door, yet it was the BACK door that was left open. That's been a
family mystery ever since.

Joe Barta

Sounds like a Christmas Story to me. Is that Christmas of yours still
available on DVD or do I have to wait until next Christmas season to
buy it?

Are you really that little kid with the glasses and the foul mouth?

Tom in KY, Joe's pulling your leg guys, somebody find his medication.

Leon wrote:


"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .

Agreed. If you tell her about it, she WILL smell it forever.

Oh, she is going to smell it alright... Just don't tell her what
it is that she smells.


I'm not sure you understand. If she's never told, she probably won't
smell anything. More than likely, there will be nothing to smell.

But... if you tell her... and she's a typical female... she will know
that some dog peed on her (whatever it was) and she will probably
THINK she smells it. The smell will be stronger if it was kitchen
furniture and stronger still if it was bedroom furniture.

You could douse it in bleach, burn it, irradiate it, nuke it and put
it in the desert for 20 years.... bring it back into the house and it
will still be stuck in her craw that some dog peed on it and she can
STILL smell it!

Joe Barta

Squarei4dtoolguy wrote:

Sounds like a Christmas Story to me.

Of course it's a Christmas Story. It happened on Christmas, duh.

Is that Christmas of yours
still available on DVD or do I have to wait until next Christmas
season to buy it?

I have no idea.

Are you really that little kid with the glasses and the foul
mouth?

I did wear glasses back then, but I rarely had a foul mouth. Dad was
another story... boy did my old man have a mouth. He worked in
profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his
true medium; a master.

Joe Barta

On Fri, 17 Feb 2006 15:01:30 -0500, "Lee Gordon"
wrote:

Expanding on what Joe said earlier, don't forget to make sure your neighbor
never mentions it either. If you clam up but then the neighbor blurts out
something to your wife, there's no amount of Urine-Gone that will make her
not smell dog pee forever.

Nah, he knows better, he's embarassed enough that it happened and
knows if he ****es me off, I'll never let him use my tools again.

I did clean it off completely and spray it down with an animal
deodorant before I put the last coat of poly on and I can't smell
anything at all. I'll probably end up putting another coat on that
shelf, at least, if I can smell even the slightest hint in the
morning.

Joe Barta wrote:
Squarei4dtoolguy wrote:

Sounds like a Christmas Story to me.

Of course it's a Christmas Story. It happened on Christmas, duh.


Are you really that little kid with the glasses and the foul
mouth?

I did wear glasses back then, but I rarely had a foul mouth. Dad was
another story... boy did my old man have a mouth. He worked in
profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his
true medium; a master.

Joe Barta

Did your Dad once win a lamp that closely resembled a ladies leg? I
believe it was Italian, Right? It said FRAGILE(frajeelee) right?

Pleeeeeeease Mr. Barta, take your medication :-)

Lee Gordon wrote:

Expanding on what Joe said earlier, don't forget to make sure your
neighbor never mentions it either. If you clam up but then the
neighbor blurts out something to your wife, there's no amount of
Urine-Gone that will make her not smell dog pee forever.

Not to mention, if your neighbor slips, you would have to hear from
your wife (from time to time) that you had neglected to tell her such
an important thing. Add to that, trying to explain WHY you neglected
to tell her might be a little dicey.

In all seriousness though, if your wife is one of those rare and
rational troopers, then by all means tell her. With the right woman,
the truth is always the way to go. [Did I say that??]

Joe Barta

Mike O. wrote:
On Fri, 17 Feb 2006 18:10:47 GMT, B a r r y
wrote:


Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one of
those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we don't
talk about.

Never speak of this again...


I agree...and next time you are over at the neighbor's house,
you know what to do. :-)


ROFLMAO

Mike O.


--
Thank you,



"Then said I, Wisdom [is] better than strength: nevertheless the poor
man's wisdom [is] despised, and his words are not heard." Ecclesiastes 9:16

Squarei4dtoolguy wrote:

Did your Dad once win a lamp that closely resembled a ladies leg?

He did. But that's no secret. I've probably told a million people. He
did win it... it was a major award. Boy did my mom hate that lamp. One
day my mom knocked it off the table and broke it into a hundred
pieces. She swore it was just an accident...

Pleeeeeeease Mr. Barta, take your medication :-)

I'm not sure what you mean. I do take medication for a vision problem.
It was due to a nasty case of soap poisoning from when I was a kid.
Supposedly it's just my imagination though.

Joe Barta

On Fri, 17 Feb 2006 18:10:47 GMT, B a r r y
wrote:

Brian Henderson wrote:


Now I'm wondering if I should tell my wife or if it should be one of
those "errors" that we, as woodworkers, know are there, but we don't
talk about.

Never speak of this again...

I'm reminded of the youngster who accidently drops his toothbrush in
the toilet. When he retreives it and starts to wash it off his Dad
stops him and tells him he better just throw it out and they'll get a
new one. So the kid throws it in the trash, then takes his Dad's
toothbrush and tosses it in the trash as well. "What did you do that
for" his Dad asks.
"Well, I dropped yours in the toilet last week" he says.
G

Lenny
http://www.geocities.com/lenhow/
http://www.geocities.com/lenhow/Work

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .
marc rosen wrote:

Joe Barta typed:

It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with a
handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day and
mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas dinner at
a
Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...


Joe Barta


Joe, Was your turkey still alive at this point of time?

Marc


No, it was almost completely cooked. Mom had taken it out of the oven
and set it on the table for a minute. At the same time, I had
accidentally shot myself in the eye with the BB gun I had just gotten
for Christmas. Needless to say, I couldn't tell Mom I just shot my eye
out, because that's what she had been worrying about all along. I told
her that an icicle had fallen off the house and hit me in the face.

Anyhow, I'm getting off track. While mom was tending to me, the dogs
got into the house and got at the turkey while it was sitting on the
kitchen table. In a matter of seconds the mostly cooked turkey was
torn apart by those damn dogs.

Interestingly, Dad noticed that the dogs had come in through the FRONT
door, yet it was the BACK door that was left open. That's been a
family mystery ever since.

Joe Barta


Maybe your Dad preferred Chinese food?

Something to think about.

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .
Squarei4dtoolguy wrote:

Did your Dad once win a lamp that closely resembled a ladies leg?

He did. But that's no secret. I've probably told a million people. He
did win it... it was a major award. Boy did my mom hate that lamp. One
day my mom knocked it off the table and broke it into a hundred
pieces. She swore it was just an accident...


Just like the dogs coming in the front door -

Yeah but im sure the pee will have soaked up into the endgrain of the feet
and ONLY
when you move it to take it inside will it really start to release its
odour . . .
OK kill the DOG



I did clean it off completely and spray it down with an animal
deodorant before I put the last coat of poly on and I can't smell
anything at all. I'll probably end up putting another coat on that
shelf, at least, if I can smell even the slightest hint in the
morning.



--

%69%20%6c%6f%76%65%20%77%6f%6f%64%77%6f%72%6b%69%6 e%67%20%62%75%74%20%69%6d%20%63%72%61%70
http://www.connoraston.com

In all seriousness though, if your wife is one of those rare and
rational troopers, then by all means tell her. With the right woman,
the truth is always the way to go. [Did I say that??]

NO!NO!NO!

Absolutely NOT - do NOT get lulled into a false sense of bravery because you
think you wife is rational.

wives are NOT rational when it comes to dog ( or cat ) pee!! DAMHIKT!

You have been WARNED!

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .
Brian Henderson wrote:

It's
still a good dog, I just have to remember to keep the door shut
tightly when he's around.

It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with a
handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day and
mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas dinner at a
Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...

Joe Barta

We had neighbor dogs just like that. The Bumpous hounds...

Brian Henderson wrote:



Topcoat with shellac, which blocks all sorts of things.


Never, ever, mention this to her!!!!!!!!!!


Or, you could donate it to charity and build another one.


-- Andy Barss

Frank Drackman wrote:


"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .
Brian Henderson wrote:

It's
still a good dog, I just have to remember to keep the door shut
tightly when he's around.

It could be worse... when I was a kid, we had this neighbor with
a handful of hound dogs that got into our house on Christmas Day
and mauled our Christmas turkey. We ended up having Christmas
dinner at a Chinese restaurant.

fah-rah-rah-rah-rah...

Joe Barta

We had neighbor dogs just like that. The Bumpous hounds...

What a coincidence! Our neighbors last name was Bumpus!

Joe Barta

Joe Barta wrote:

You could douse it in bleach, burn it, irradiate it, nuke it and put
it in the desert for 20 years.... bring it back into the house and it
will still be stuck in her craw that some dog peed on it and she can
STILL smell it!

Sounds like we have the same wife - or at least identical twins :-).

--
It's turtles, all the way down

"Squarei4dtoolguy" writes:

Sounds like a Christmas Story to me. Is that Christmas of yours still
available on DVD or do I have to wait until next Christmas season to
buy it?

Are you really that little kid with the glasses and the foul mouth?


Nope. Jean Shepherd died in 1999. He was "the Boy Named Sue," by the way.




--
Sending unsolicited commercial e-mail to this account incurs a fee of
$500 per message, and acknowledges the legality of this contract.

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
.. .



I'm not sure you understand. If she's never told, she probably won't
smell anything. More than likely, there will be nothing to smell.

I do not know of any woman that cannot smell everything.

Ba r r y wrote:

I've been trying to identify a phantom smell in my wife's Jeep for
3 months. Apparently, only she can smell it, so I know exactly
what you mean.

The same goes for the car making odd noises or acting funny only when
she is alone in the car. The minute you drive the car with her, the
car acts normally and the noise mysteriously disappears.

Much entertainment value is obtained by placing the empty box and
packing materials from a Chinese-made stationary power tool in the
living room for a few hours... All of you know THE SMELL!

Saw a bit on the news about that "new car smell" actually being quite
toxic. Damn! Everything thats good eventually causes cancer.

Joe Barta

Joe Barta

Life is 100% fatal.

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
...

Saw a bit on the news about that "new car smell" actually being quite
toxic. Damn! Everything thats good eventually causes cancer.

CW wrote:
Life is 100% fatal.

"Joe Barta" wrote in message
...

Saw a bit on the news about that "new car smell" actually being quite
toxic. Damn! Everything thats good eventually causes cancer.

Many years ago the comedian, George Carlin, reported that researchers
had discovered that saliva causes cancer. But only when swallowed in
small quantities over a long period of time.

As CW relates... Nobody is getting out of life alive, so enjoy it to
the maximum and don't worry about how MUCH time you have, but how much
you enjoy it.

The Joe Barta entity posted thusly:

Saw a bit on the news about that "new car smell" actually being quite
toxic. Damn! Everything thats good eventually causes cancer.

Not hard to understand, I suppose, since it probably comes from all
sorts of outgassing from new plastics, adhesives, and so on. Makes you
wonder, though about the "new car smell" aerosol cans. Are they benign
imitations of toxic fumes, or the real thing?

Our love is like a new car smell
Sooner or later it all goes to hell
Somebody farts or spills some Taco Bell
Our love is like a new car smell.

The Arrogant Worms
© 2004

"Oleg Lego" wrote in message
Not hard to understand, I suppose, since it probably comes from all
sorts of outgassing from new plastics, adhesives, and so on. Makes you
wonder, though about the "new car smell" aerosol cans. Are they benign
imitations of toxic fumes, or the real thing?

I'd probably experience a measure of stress and the wear on my psyche if my
new car smelled bad. I figure the shortening of my life because of the
toxins of "new car gas" would be balanced by the benefit I'd get from the
satisfaction of a new car.

"Oleg Lego" wrote in message
...

Not hard to understand, I suppose, since it probably comes from all
sorts of outgassing from new plastics, adhesives, and so on. Makes you
wonder, though about the "new car smell" aerosol cans. Are they benign
imitations of toxic fumes, or the real thing?


Repackaged factory waste. LOL. Actually I worked in the car industry for
almost 30 years and none of the "NewCar" aerosol sprays smelled like a new
car to me. But then again I hardly notice the new car smell at all any
more.

"Upscale" wrote in message
...
"Oleg Lego" wrote in message
Not hard to understand, I suppose, since it probably comes from all
sorts of outgassing from new plastics, adhesives, and so on. Makes you
wonder, though about the "new car smell" aerosol cans. Are they benign
imitations of toxic fumes, or the real thing?

I'd probably experience a measure of stress and the wear on my psyche if
my
new car smelled bad. I figure the shortening of my life because of the
toxins of "new car gas" would be balanced by the benefit I'd get from the
satisfaction of a new car.

The toxic exhaust has been rerouted to the interior of the car. :~)

Fri, Feb 17, 2006, 5:59pm (EST+5)
(Brian*Henderson) doth sayeth:
snip I got inside just in time to see the neighbor's dog lift his leg
snip

Probem is you aren't friendly enough. You need to be friends with
the dog, and he won't do it again. Invite Pluto back into your shop,
and let him have a it. First you might want to wind a few bar wieres
around the legs of whatever target he chooses, and hook them to a
battery. Probably never come in your shop again. See? All you have to
do is be friendly.



JOAT
IThere is no vaccine against stupidity!