They'll probably be here soon. I cannot have gotten away with this clean.



It all began innocently enough; I awoke at 5 AM, got a cup of coffee and
headed to the shop.



I should have known it could end like this. there are crimes, ands then
there are Crimes!



Once there I began to fall under some sort of a spell, with thoughts no man
should be forced to endure; after all these were my friends!



Some of them had been hangers on for years before I moved 5 years ago, but
suddenly it no longer mattered to me. it was though I had become crazed with
a maniacal and sadistic bent.



The long and the short, the thin ones and even some of the heavier ones had
to go. In my blood lust they ALL were going to have to die.



There was some prejudice, I'm ashamed to admit. the darkies went first but
the white ones followed soon enough. It was as though I had come to believe
a "Cleansing" must occur. If they could not serve me immediately, they would
serve no man again.



With little regard for my personal safety I rounded them up, one by one and
even after considering forcing some of them in a kind of forced bondage to
serve my will, determined they must ALL go.



In an insane clarity of mind, I realized there could remain no evidence of
what was about to happen. I took 'em out, quickly, coldly and with no sense
of remorse whatever.



It seemed the best way to clean up behind myself was to create a funeral
pyre. And so I did.



The flames roared and the stench was at times over powering, but I
persevered and finally the deed was done, gristly though it was.



Now I'm waiting for them to come for me, it's bound to happen you know.



There must be a law that forbids a man from burning all the scraps of
cherry, walnut, oak of several flavors, pine (white and yellow), cedar and
perhaps a few species I didn't recognize. OK, a lot of it was sapwood, kept
for use in inconspicuous places. but there was SO MUCH!



The shop is cleaner now, and the many buckets that used to be full of
various pieces of wood I couldn't bear to throw away that were forever being
moved from one place to another are now neatly stacked into one another.



Since with luck I'll be moving next summer, I'm beginning the process of
making the shop ready for the move.



There is still a lot of wood, a bunch of Ipe given me from a decking job,
several thousand board feet of cherry, walnut and aromatic red cedar
(Juniper) as well as various logs I have resawn and dried from native wood
(buttonwood, live oak and silk oak) that will go with me to the new shop in
Tennessee.



I feel little better though, some of those pieces of wood had become like
friends.



Tom

Maker of Fine Sawdust and Fine Shavings (add ashes, now)

On Sun, 4 Sep 2005 10:54:37 -0400, "Thomas Bunetta"
wrote:

They'll probably be here soon. I cannot have gotten away with this clean.

.... snip


The flames roared and the stench was at times over powering, but I
persevered and finally the deed was done, gristly though it was.


I've always found the smell fragrant and pleasant. Does that make me a
bad person?

.... snip

There must be a law that forbids a man from burning all the scraps of
cherry, walnut, oak of several flavors, pine (white and yellow), cedar and
perhaps a few species I didn't recognize. OK, a lot of it was sapwood, kept
for use in inconspicuous places. but there was SO MUCH!



The shop is cleaner now, and the many buckets that used to be full of
various pieces of wood I couldn't bear to throw away that were forever being
moved from one place to another are now neatly stacked into one another.

.... snip

I feel your pain as I too shall soon have to carry out this act of mayhem
in my own shop. I am running out of buckets, I can't keep them all, some
of them are too small to be of practical use (but I might need a shim, or a
plug ....).

I'm hoping to find someone with a chimenea to carry out this dastardly
deed. But then I'm still an accomplice, aren't I?






+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

"Mark & Juanita" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 4 Sep 2005 10:54:37 -0400, "Thomas Bunetta"
wrote:


... snip

... snip

I've always found the smell fragrant and pleasant. Does that make me a
bad person?

One of the "victems" was a piece of plastic door trim... it stank

... snip
... snip
..

... snip

I feel your pain as I too shall soon have to carry out this act of mayhem
in my own shop. I am running out of buckets, I can't keep them all, some
of them are too small to be of practical use (but I might need a shim, or
a
plug ....).

I'm hoping to find someone with a chimenea to carry out this dastardly
deed. But then I'm still an accomplice, aren't I?

In a perverted way, I suppose. I wanted to write a piece that would
entertain... misdirect the real (simple story) message till the end...
It didn't seem to fly.
Sigh, we can't all be a Tom Watson.
Tom

"Thomas Bunetta" wrote in
:

snip?

In a perverted way, I suppose. I wanted to write a piece that would
entertain... misdirect the real (simple story) message till the end...
It didn't seem to fly.
Sigh, we can't all be a Tom Watson.
Tom


_I_ enjoyed your post. It touched on an experience common to most of us.
After fussing over workpieces for hours, to get them to the point at which
we are ready to show them to trusted friends or family, we can be a bit
obsessive. It carries over to the scraps, too.

The only cure I can find is to do a bit of turning at the lathe. Because
of my current state of relative ignorance, I have no realisitic expectation
of producing a finished project. It's _all_ practice, with the occasional
happy surprise. Giving away a large pile of 'interesting firewood' seems
almost an act of charity. And most of it was destined to be firewood
before I messed with it anyway.

Regarding 'being Tom Watson': Tom spent his youth on philosophy and the
arts. I wasn't willing to suffer like that for my craft. ;-)

Patriarch,
diggin out the shop today...

"Patriarch" wrote in message
. 97.136...
"Thomas Bunetta" wrote in
:

snip
May I dribble my thoughts among yours?

_I_ enjoyed your post. It touched on an experience common to most of us.
After fussing over workpieces for hours, to get them to the point at which
we are ready to show them to trusted friends or family, we can be a bit
obsessive. It carries over to the scraps, too.

Yes indeed, and thank you.



The only cure I can find is to do a bit of turning at the lathe. Because
of my current state of relative ignorance, I have no realisitic
expectation
of producing a finished project. It's _all_ practice, with the occasional
happy surprise. Giving away a large pile of 'interesting firewood' seems
almost an act of charity. And most of it was destined to be firewood
before I messed with it anyway.

One of these days I'm going to have to get a lathe... I have good memories
from woodshop days of flying chips and great fun, but zero lathe time since.
Something tells me it becomes a "slippery slope" of its own.

Regarding 'being Tom Watson': Tom spent his youth on philosophy and the
arts. I wasn't willing to suffer like that for my craft. ;-)

Patriarch,
diggin out the shop today...

That man amazes me. General knowledge, his work and his written word...
I'd better stop there. Just in case he reads this thread. I wouldn't want
him to scrape both his ears off going out the door BG
Tom

On Mon, 5 Sep 2005 20:00:36 -0400, the blithe spirit "Thomas Bunetta"
clearly indicated:

--snippage--
That man amazes me. General knowledge, his work and his written word...
I'd better stop there. Just in case he reads this thread. I wouldn't want
him to scrape both his ears off going out the door BG

That'd be just like Tawm to go one better than Van Gogh.

-------------------------------
Iguana: The other green meat!
-------------------------------
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development

On Mon, 5 Sep 2005 04:57:33 -0400, "Thomas Bunetta"
wrote:


"Mark & Juanita" wrote in message
.. .
On Sun, 4 Sep 2005 10:54:37 -0400, "Thomas Bunetta"
wrote:


... snip

... snip

I've always found the smell fragrant and pleasant. Does that make me a
bad person?

One of the "victems" was a piece of plastic door trim... it stank

... snip
... snip
.

... snip

I feel your pain as I too shall soon have to carry out this act of mayhem
in my own shop. I am running out of buckets, I can't keep them all, some
of them are too small to be of practical use (but I might need a shim, or
a
plug ....).

I'm hoping to find someone with a chimenea to carry out this dastardly
deed. But then I'm still an accomplice, aren't I?

In a perverted way, I suppose. I wanted to write a piece that would
entertain... misdirect the real (simple story) message till the end...
It didn't seem to fly.

Actually it did, apparently my response did not come out as intended. I
found your posting quite humorous, I was only trying to be funny as well.

Sigh, we can't all be a Tom Watson.

Apparently not.

Tom




+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

"Mark & Juanita" wrote in message
. ..
On Sun, 4 Sep 2005 10:54:37 -0400, "Thomas Bunetta"
snip
Actually it did, apparently my response did not come out as intended. I
found your posting quite humorous, I was only trying to be funny as well.


If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough
No truer words were spoken... along with; "If you're gonna tell a lie, you'd
better have a perfect memory".

I saw your humor, my friend.
I guess the comment about finding the smell of burning wood (as do I)
pleasing struck a chord and I thought the story had gone further astray from
reality than intended. Along with the "good stuff" I burned a bunch of less
pleasant things as well.

I did NOT burn 4 "pin sets" that Paully Rad, Dave P. and I got from bowling
alley.

Paully built a work bench from his, and after reading his trials and
tribulations getting all the hardened nails out... well let's just say my
get up and go for that project got up and went ;).

However, spread the word. Any one near me that wants to come and get one or
more is welcome to them.
I paid twenty bucks ea. for them, and they WOULD make for an interesting
table as is (if you don't mind the glaring reminder of a bowling theme).

They're hard maple, there are 4 I think, and they weigh a TON.

In Paul Radovanichs (sp?) name I'd donate them to any takers willing to come
to Englewood, Fl for them.

Tom

On Sun, 04 Sep 2005 18:43:40 -0700, Mark & Juanita wrote:

(Lotsa snippage)
I feel your pain as I too shall soon have to carry out this act of mayhem
in my own shop. I am running out of buckets, I can't keep them all, some
of them are too small to be of practical use (but I might need a shim, or a
plug ....).

I'm hoping to find someone with a chimenea to carry out this dastardly
deed. But then I'm still an accomplice, aren't I?


Simple. Get a small lathe, start reading rec.crafts.woodturning and enter
the madness known as 'penturning'. Then you needn't toss anything
2" x 3/4" x 3/4" or larger AND you can hang on to it with a clear
conscience, since "I'm collecting it for a project".

Turning pens takes some of the sting out of cutting the corners off exotic
stock so it will fit my lathe and keeps me from tossing totally beautiful
pieces of curly maple that are too short and too close to the bark to make
much of anything else out of.

Bill

"W Canaday" wrote in message
news
On Sun, 04 Sep 2005 18:43:40 -0700, Mark & Juanita wrote:

(Lotsa snippage)

Simple. Get a small lathe, start reading rec.crafts.woodturning and enter
the madness known as 'penturning'. Then you needn't toss anything
2" x 3/4" x 3/4" or larger AND you can hang on to it with a clear
conscience, since "I'm collecting it for a project".

Turning pens takes some of the sting out of cutting the corners off exotic
stock so it will fit my lathe and keeps me from tossing totally beautiful
pieces of curly maple that are too short and too close to the bark to make
much of anything else out of.

Bill
Another "slippery slope" you're suggesting, aren't you G.
I kept telling my self "I'd use it one day" for each of them (well except
for a few "extra parts" for several projects I swear I don't know how they
got mixed in) :)

One day I will get a lathe, it's on the list. But you can't just get a
lathe, it needs a whole new collection of tools and accessories (uh oh, I'm
beginning to get that FEELING again... I'd better give the credit cards to
my SWMBO).
Tom

"Thomas Bunetta" wrote in
:
snip

Another "slippery slope" you're suggesting, aren't you G.
I kept telling my self "I'd use it one day" for each of them (well
except for a few "extra parts" for several projects I swear I don't
know how they got mixed in) :)

One day I will get a lathe, it's on the list. But you can't just get a
lathe, it needs a whole new collection of tools and accessories (uh
oh, I'm beginning to get that FEELING again... I'd better give the
credit cards to my SWMBO).
Tom


Years ago. a friend told me that he had been given a horse, but that there
are no _free_ horses, what with the care, feeding and so forth.

There are also no free lathes. DAMHIKT. The wood is cheap, however, and
the mulch plentiful.

Patriarch

In article 36,
Patriarch wrote:

Years ago. a friend told me that he had been given a horse, but that there
are no _free_ horses, what with the care, feeding and so forth.

There are also no free lathes. DAMHIKT. The wood is cheap, however, and
the mulch plentiful.

Lathes are much more 'spensive that horsies...

--
Go read this. Now.
http://www.ejectejecteject.com/archives/000129.html

On Sun, 4 Sep 2005 10:54:37 -0400, "Thomas Bunetta"
scribbled:

They'll probably be here soon. I cannot have gotten away with this clean.

Snip of stuff that's going to the humour page.

I know how you feel. I spent part of the summer cleaning out the "back
corner". Seven pick-up loads to the dump (including a willow that had
grown around a old door which was immovable) and two more of kindling
and firewood that are going to a friend. Going through the remains of
fifteen years of projects was kinda neat. My scrap pile had grown way
beyond the shop. Of course, yesterday, I needed a thin piece to shim
out a door hinge I was reinstalling, and I had to make it rather than
just going to the back corner.

Luigi
Replace "nonet" with "yukonomics" for real email address
www.yukonomics.ca/wooddorking/humour.html
www.yukonomics.ca/wooddorking/antifaq.html

"Luigi Zanasi" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 4 Sep 2005 10:54:37 -0400, "Thomas Bunetta"
scribbled:

They'll probably be here soon. I cannot have gotten away with this clean.

Snip of stuff that's going to the humour page.

Blush


snip
My scrap pile had grown way
beyond the shop. Of course, yesterday, I needed a thin piece to shim
out a door hinge I was reinstalling, and I had to make it rather than
just going to the back corner.

Luigi
Ya hadda go and say that, didn't you? Now I'm gonna feel even guiltier.
All kidding aside, just this morning I needed a piece to act as a spacer in
an uneven stack of boards with differing thicknesses. Improvisation is a
challenge to the mind.
Tom