History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small
bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains
during the winter and would go to the coast to live on fish and lobster
in the summer.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization, and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around
waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers
in Hollywood and group therapists, are liberals. Liberals invented the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher
also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally,
anyone who works productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.
They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of
trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

Gerry I don't write 'em, I just report 'em

Hello,


"G.E.R.R.Y." wrote in message
...
History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small
bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains
during the winter and would go to the coast to live on fish and lobster
in the summer.

I thought that the hearth was created 6000 years ago or so? I might be wrong
:-)

cyrille


The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization, and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around
waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers
in Hollywood and group therapists, are liberals. Liberals invented the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher
also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally,
anyone who works productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.
They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of
trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

Gerry I don't write 'em, I just report 'em

"Cyrille de Brébisson" wrote:
Hello,
I thought that the hearth was created 6000 years ago or so? I might be wrong
:-)

Kinda depends on who ya ask. And their level of... Nah, we have enough
religious wars.

Dave in Fairfax
--
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http://www.woodturner.org
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http://www.capwoodturners.org/
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http://www.patinatools.org

In article ,
says...
Conservatives drink domestic beer.


So THAT's what's wrong with them. They think **** tastes good :-).

Beer shoud be spelled "stout" or "porter".

White wine is for cooking, red wine is for drinking.

All politicians, whether conservative or liberal, are parasites.

--
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