Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The
Hague and as a young man aspired to become a priest.
However, he was drafted into the Army during WWII
and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his
aircraft was shot down in 1943, resulting in the
loss of his left arm. Captain Grapje spent the rest
of the war as a military chaplain, giving spiritual
aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy. After the
war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in
Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages
across the continent.

In 1997, Father Grapje (now an Archbishop) was
serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver
mine caused a massive cave-in trapping scores of
miners deep in the earth. Archbishop Grapje went
down into the mine to administer comfort and last
rites to those too severely injured to move. While
underground another shaft collapsed and he was
buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries,
including the loss of his right eye. Some time after
being rescued, he developed a severe (but rare) condition known as
purpura. This condition is the
result of extensive underground time and exposure to
the high silver content in the mine's air. It is
characterized by purplish skin blotches and is found
in many life-long silver miners. For his heroism and
selfless service to others, the church elevated him
to Cardinal.

With the passing of Pope John Paul II, he joined the
other Cardinals in Rome for the funeral and the
conclave to select a new Pope from their ranks.
Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the
service of God as a scholar, mentor and holy man;
church leaders agree he will never ascend to the
Papacy.
..
..
..

After all, no one wants a one-eyed, one-armed,
flying purple Papal leader.


[For you youngsters out there, your assignment is to google for "flying
purple people eater" to make this somewhat understandable. Apologies to
Sheb Wooley.]

bad..bad...really bad! but I love it!!!Good story

On Thu, 28 Apr 2005 15:38:03 GMT, jo4hn wrote:


[For you youngsters out there, your assignment is to google for "flying
purple people eater" to make this somewhat understandable. Apologies to
Sheb Wooley.]

Understanding it doesn't help.

--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite

Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999

http://www.woodbutcher.net

Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997

This has to be one of your very best...

jo4hn wrote:

Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The
Hague and as a young man aspired to become a priest.

Understanding it doesn't help.


Now THAT"S funny!

On Thu, 28 Apr 2005 20:38:15 GMT, the inscrutable Pat Barber
spake:

This has to be one of your very best...

groan


jo4hn wrote:

Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The
Hague and as a young man aspired to become a priest.

And to keep things friendly, here's one man's take on womanhood:

--snip--
From 60 Minutes Commentator: Andy Rooney Subject: Women over 50 As I
grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just
a few reasons why:

A woman over 50 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are
you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's
usually something more interesting.


A woman over 50 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of
50 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of
course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they
think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know
what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over! 50 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best
friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over
50 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she
knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to
a woman over 50. They always know.

A woman over 50 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not
true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier
than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if
you are a jerk or if you are acting like one? You don't ever have to
wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart,
well-coifed hot woman of 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow
pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress...
Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when
you can get the milk for free?" here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%
of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not
worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.
--snip--

--== May The Angst Be With You! ==--
-Yoda, on a bad day
--
http://diversify.com Ending Your Web Page Angst.

So Cardinal Ratzinger is the new pope. I thought that Cardinal Sicola
of Austria would have been a good chance, but I guesss the conclave
of cardinals realised they could not have the leader of one billion
catholics called Pope Sicola.

Oh well, what's in a name.

Just checked Snopes.com. -- Sorry Andy didn't write this. Another
person did and
it wasn't woman over 50, it was woman over 40.

Another Internet myth busted.

Here's the link:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney2.asp

MJ Wallace

The Andy Roonie story is loosly based on a line the Redd Foxx did in
his act.

Women over 40 don't yell, don't twell, don't swell, and they're
grateful as hell.

-Dan V.

On 1 May 2005 17:42:01 -0700, wrote:

Just checked Snopes.com. -- Sorry Andy didn't write this. Another
person did and
it wasn't woman over 50, it was woman over 40.

Another Internet myth busted.

Here's the link:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney2.asp

MJ Wallace