I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured or
turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to date with
the weather forecast and a proximity detector to stop you forgetting init
when you put it down somewhere, which works via your mobile.

Brian

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This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
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On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 08:25:29 -0000, "Brian Gaff"
wrote:

I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured or
turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to date with
the weather forecast and a proximity detector t

I wish they had a proximity detector that collapsed them around the
head of the person carrying it preferably strangling them while it
does so when they get close to poking somebody's eye out. Umbrellas
are fine when there is space for them and people are not moving too
much like at a spectator event and even there they block others view,
on crowded pavements they are an antisocial menace . A mumbled apology
having turned someone into a Cyclops isn't good enough.
Light weight clothing for most weather conditions encountered in the
high street has been available for years ,there is no need to carry an
Igloo on a stick.

G.Harman

On 19/12/16 08:46, Chris Hogg wrote:
On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 08:25:29 -0000, "Brian Gaff"
wrote:

I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured or
turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to date with
the weather forecast and a proximity detector to stop you forgetting init
when you put it down somewhere, which works via your mobile.

Brian

So instead of the brolly turning inside-out and acting as a sort of
pressure-relief valve or bursting disk, you do a Mary Poppins and
disappear over the rooftops! Perhaps the brolly should also include a
sat nav to tell you (or your nearest and dearest) where you are when
you eventually come back down!


It's a well solved problem:

https://www.brollied.com/fulton-stor...lla-black.html

For Brian - basically the umbrella has 2 layers which leads to vents
arranged in a circle around the umbrella, about 1/3 way up.

The 2 layers overlap like roof tiles so it keep sthe rain out, but an
upgust can vent through the umbrella reducing the stress. The spokes are
stronger too.

No sure what make mine is, but I've had it for years - it is collapsible
and lives in my backpack.

On 19/12/16 08:25, Brian Gaff wrote:
I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured or
turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to date with
the weather forecast and a proximity detector to stop you forgetting init
when you put it down somewhere, which works via your mobile.

Brian


The bluetooth beacons are available as a separate item which you can
attach to anything...

"Brian Gaff" wrote in
news
I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured
or turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to
date with the weather forecast and a proximity detector to stop you
forgetting init when you put it down somewhere, which works via your
mobile.

Brian


Will it respond automatially evertime the weather forcaster says "Brolly or
Umbrella". the seem unable to just say that it will rain. As I don't have
an umbrella I get vey annoyed with the forcasters.

On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 09:58:39 +0000, wrote:

On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 08:25:29 -0000, "Brian Gaff"
wrote:

I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured or
turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to date with
the weather forecast and a proximity detector t

I wish they had a proximity detector that collapsed them around the
head of the person carrying it preferably strangling them while it
does so when they get close to poking somebody's eye out. Umbrellas
are fine when there is space for them and people are not moving too
much like at a spectator event and even there they block others view,
on crowded pavements they are an antisocial menace . A mumbled apology
having turned someone into a Cyclops isn't good enough.
Light weight clothing for most weather conditions encountered in the
high street has been available for years ,there is no need to carry an
Igloo on a stick.

Has anybody's eye ever been poked out by an umbrella? It's an
expression like the one about tripping over your shoelace. I was
always told this as a child - and even now - but I have never heard of
anyone ever tripping over their own shoelace.

In article ,
Brian Gaff wrote:
I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured
or turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to
date with the weather forecast and a proximity detector to stop you
forgetting init when you put it down somewhere, which works via your
mobile.

Notice no one has yet said what it will sell for.

--
*The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On 19/12/2016 17:00, Scott wrote:
On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 09:58:39 +0000, wrote:

On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 08:25:29 -0000, "Brian Gaff"
wrote:

I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured or
turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to date with
the weather forecast and a proximity detector t

I wish they had a proximity detector that collapsed them around the
head of the person carrying it preferably strangling them while it
does so when they get close to poking somebody's eye out. Umbrellas
are fine when there is space for them and people are not moving too
much like at a spectator event and even there they block others view,
on crowded pavements they are an antisocial menace . A mumbled apology
having turned someone into a Cyclops isn't good enough.
Light weight clothing for most weather conditions encountered in the
high street has been available for years ,there is no need to carry an
Igloo on a stick.

Has anybody's eye ever been poked out by an umbrella? It's an
expression like the one about tripping over your shoelace. I was
always told this as a child - and even now - but I have never heard of
anyone ever tripping over their own shoelace.

I've had some near misses over my undone shoelaces. I wouldn't doubt
someone could be less fortunate and fall.

I take it you use slip-ons or some other lace free footwear?

On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 17:00:53 +0000 (GMT), "Dave Plowman (News)"
wrote:

In article ,
Brian Gaff wrote:
I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured
or turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to
date with the weather forecast and a proximity detector to stop you
forgetting init when you put it down somewhere, which works via your
mobile.

Notice no one has yet said what it will sell for.

I expect they are taking preorders for delivery on 1 April 2017.

Scott wrote:

On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 09:58:39 +0000, wrote:

On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 08:25:29 -0000, "Brian Gaff"
wrote:

I understand that the latest thing this year is hi tech umbrellas with
carbon fibre spokes and very clever material that cannot get punctured or
turn inside out. It also has a blue tooth device to keep you up to date with
the weather forecast and a proximity detector t

I wish they had a proximity detector that collapsed them around the
head of the person carrying it preferably strangling them while it
does so when they get close to poking somebody's eye out. Umbrellas
are fine when there is space for them and people are not moving too
much like at a spectator event and even there they block others view,
on crowded pavements they are an antisocial menace . A mumbled apology
having turned someone into a Cyclops isn't good enough.
Light weight clothing for most weather conditions encountered in the
high street has been available for years ,there is no need to carry an
Igloo on a stick.

Has anybody's eye ever been poked out by an umbrella? It's an
expression like the one about tripping over your shoelace. I was
always told this as a child - and even now - but I have never heard of
anyone ever tripping over their own shoelace.

I did it the other day. Tried to briskly step forward with foot A which
was tethered 6" away from foot B, and fell to my knees. It's very easy
if you don't do them up. Obviously the dire childhood warnings worked
on you.


--

Roger Hayter