The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement ring
and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that they
were not engaged!

--
Adam

On Mon, 06 Jul 2015 18:15:31 +0100, ARW wrote:

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that
they were not engaged!

ITYM "the ex"?

In article ,
"ARW" writes:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement ring
and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that they
were not engaged!

Probably intended the ring to go somewhere where mum wouldn't see...

--
Andrew Gabriel
[email address is not usable -- followup in the newsgroup]

On 06/07/15 19:36, Andrew Gabriel wrote:
In article ,
"ARW" writes:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement ring
and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that they
were not engaged!

Probably intended the ring to go somewhere where mum wouldn't see...


eeep...

"Tim Watts" wrote in message
...
On 06/07/15 19:36, Andrew Gabriel wrote:
In article ,
"ARW" writes:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement
ring
and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that
they
were not engaged!

Probably intended the ring to go somewhere where mum wouldn't see...


eeep...


Best not tell you about the other apprentice and the handbag or the other
apprentice that pretended to be a footballer (on my advive) to get a shag.

--
Adam

Ids he a bit dippy? I'd have thought such a communication breakdown might
have been avoided through discussing the ring before it was given. Also,
what is the point of the ring if it is not for engagement? I think if I had
been so daft, it would have been better to go along with it at least for a
while and see what transpired. One can after all break off engagements if a
better choice presents itself or if relations break down. Now what will
happen is that the relationship will end, and she will spread the word about
him and anyone in that circle of f friends will be watching for the plonker
and see big rad avoid the dippy fool will be writ red and flashing.
Brian
--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"ARW" wrote in message
...
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement ring
and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that they
were not engaged!

--
Adam

On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 08:33:07 UTC+1, Brian-Gaff wrote:
and she will spread the word about
him and anyone in that circle of friends will be watching for the plonker
and see big red avoid the dippy fool

Actually they'll see "get a free ring you can take down cash converters"

Owain

On Monday, 6 July 2015 18:15:41 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement ring
and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

How romantic ... and not even pregnant?

Owain

On Monday, 6 July 2015 22:36:49 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
"Tim Watts" wrote in message
...
On 06/07/15 19:36, Andrew Gabriel wrote:
In article ,
"ARW" writes:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement
ring
and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that
they
were not engaged!

Probably intended the ring to go somewhere where mum wouldn't see...


eeep...


Best not tell you about the other apprentice and the handbag or the other
apprentice that pretended to be a footballer (on my advive) to get a shag.

--
Adam

Well I can understand why some women would shag because a person has said they're a footballer.. money fame etc...
But why did you tell another apprentice to buy a handbag ;-)

On Mon, 06 Jul 2015 22:36:42 +0100, ARW wrote:

Best not tell you about the other apprentice and the handbag or the
other apprentice that pretended to be a footballer (on my advive) to get
a shag.

Oh, c'mon. You can't just throw that in and not elaborate...

On 06/07/2015 18:15, ARW wrote:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement
ring and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that
they were not engaged!

Do they give you the particularly dim ones?

--
Colin Bignell

On 07/07/2015 14:04, Nightjar "cpb"@ wrote:
On 06/07/2015 18:15, ARW wrote:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement
ring and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that
they were not engaged!

Do they give you the particularly dim ones?


They give him the ones that need careful nurturing, because he has such
a gentle, kind personality, and seemingly infinite patience.

"Adrian" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 06 Jul 2015 22:36:42 +0100, ARW wrote:

Best not tell you about the other apprentice and the handbag or the
other apprentice that pretended to be a footballer (on my advive) to get
a shag.

Oh, c'mon. You can't just throw that in and not elaborate...


Well last weekend one apprentice bought his gf a £80 handbag because his gf
demanded that he did- so the usual work banter started "You will be getting
it on Saturday night etc (and lots more that you need not know)" when he
pointed out that despite been with his gf for 18 months he was still a
virgin. It was just like that scene in Police Academy when Tackleberry
announced he was a virgin - the whole place went silent for the few second
it took him it to say it.

The advice given out was for him not to buy her the handbag.

But then things got better. The other apprentice who does play amateur
football took my advice pretended to be a footballer (at Man Utds training
academy) and he lost his virginity on Saturday night. Well done son [1].

But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

And finally another apprentice got engaged last week whilst on holiday in
Greece. He had a ring especially made for her and she said yes - he proposed
in a restaurant and had been planning it for months. So both families went
out on Sunday for a double celebration - the engagement and her birthday.
Now guess who forgot to but her a birthday present? The row got everyone
thrown out of the restaurant.

[1] On a stag do where you all have to wear identical t shirts I once took
advantage of a gullible lady that I met in a nightclub in Liverpool. She
asked if we were on a stag do and I said "No - we are the Red Arrows
parachute team". And it worked for me.

--
Adam

"GB" wrote in message
...
On 07/07/2015 14:04, Nightjar "cpb"@ wrote:
On 06/07/2015 18:15, ARW wrote:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement
ring and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that
they were not engaged!

Do they give you the particularly dim ones?


They give him the ones that need careful nurturing, because he has such a
gentle, kind personality, and seemingly infinite patience.



But I do not have Ofsted and a load of other school rules and ******s in the
way that say I have to praise lazy idle *******s for doing **** all or doing
what they do very badly.

Nor does our firm spent a fortune on "inclusion officers" or "isolation
suites" for lazy little *******s.

The truth is - if they are old enough to shag then they are old enough to
get their hands out of their pockets and start to learn how to use tools and
do some proper work. Either that of they can **** off and live on benefits
or try McDonalds for a job.


--
Adam

"Nightjar.me.uk" "cpb"@ insert my surname here wrote in message
...
On 06/07/2015 18:15, ARW wrote:
The daft **** bought his gf a ring - she assumed it was an engagement
ring and slapped the "engagement" all over facebook.

The first he knew about it what when his mother phoned him and said
congratulations.

He cannot understand why the gf started crying when he told her that
they were not engaged!

Do they give you the particularly dim ones?

Or the turnover is so high that he's bound to get a few of them.

In message , ARW
writes

The truth is - if they are old enough to shag then they are old enough
to get their hands out of their pockets and start to learn how to use
tools and do some proper work. Either that of they can **** off and
live on benefits or try McDonalds for a job.

*applause*
--
Graeme

On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

That's not nice (in so many ways)

Owain

On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:

But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

I'm betting he was British because at least he hasn't yet lost his culture of queueing for what he wants.

On 07/07/2015 19:22, ARW wrote:
They give him the ones that need careful nurturing, because he has
such a gentle, kind personality, and seemingly infinite patience.



But I do not have Ofsted and a load of other school rules and ******s in
the way that say I have to praise lazy idle *******s for doing **** all
or doing what they do very badly.

Nor does our firm spent a fortune on "inclusion officers" or "isolation
suites" for lazy little *******s.

The truth is - if they are old enough to shag then they are old enough
to get their hands out of their pockets and start to learn how to use
tools and do some proper work. Either that of they can **** off and live
on benefits or try McDonalds for a job.

I agree with all that. Nevertheless, you suffer fools exceptionally
badly. (Ungladly?) I'd love to be your apprentice, because I'd learn an
awful lot. OTOH, I'm not sure whether I could cope with your appalling
driving.

On 08/07/15 11:23, wrote:
On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

That's not nice (in so many ways)

Owain


But yet, completely in keeping with his claim to be a footballer
That's dedication, following the charade right through...

On 08/07/15 11:23, wrote:
On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

That's not nice (in so many ways)

Owain


And anyway, he's either a teen or recently post-teen and would probably
shag a bag of worms - don't think sloppy seconds would be much of an
impediment...

On 08/07/15 11:36, whisky-dave wrote:
On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:

But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

I'm betting he was British because at least he hasn't yet lost his culture of queueing for what he wants.


You sir have officially made "joke of the week"

Now where's my keyboard cloth...

"whisky-dave" wrote in message
...
On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:

But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom
until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we
taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

I'm betting he was British because at least he hasn't yet lost his culture
of queueing for what he wants.

As one who detests and objects to the dumb British acceptance of queuing, I
give you 10/10 for that.

"Tim Watts" wrote in message
...
On 08/07/15 11:23, wrote:
On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom
until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we
taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

That's not nice (in so many ways)

Owain


And anyway, he's either a teen or recently post-teen and would probably
shag a bag of worms - don't think sloppy seconds would be much of an
impediment...


Well he says he used a condom - I always tell them to. A few years ago one
posted a selfie of himself at the GU clinic. Class move that mate - that
will go down well when you next make facebook friends with someone you want
to shag.

--
Adam

"Tim Watts" wrote in message
news
On 08/07/15 11:36, whisky-dave wrote:
On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:

But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom
until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we
taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

I'm betting he was British because at least he hasn't yet lost his
culture of queueing for what he wants.


You sir have officially made "joke of the week"


+1

--
Adam

"Mr Pounder Esquire" wrote in message
...

"whisky-dave" wrote in message
...
On Tuesday, 7 July 2015 18:58:57 UTC+1, ARW wrote:

But then I found out (I have spies) that he had to wait in the bedroom
until
his mate had finished with her before he got his chance. Boy have we
taken
the **** out of him for that (and he has a new name).

I'm betting he was British because at least he hasn't yet lost his
culture of queueing for what he wants.

As one who detests and objects to the dumb British acceptance of queuing,
I give you 10/10 for that.


So how do you object?

--
Adam

"GB" wrote in message
...
On 07/07/2015 19:22, ARW wrote:


I agree with all that. Nevertheless, you suffer fools exceptionally badly.
(Ungladly?) I'd love to be your apprentice, because I'd learn an awful
lot. OTOH, I'm not sure whether I could cope with your appalling driving.


It's not me that facebooks whilst driving on the motorway:-) Apprentices do.


I have never hesitated to make posts about my own mistakes - either work or
DIY related - on this newsgroup.



--
Adam

On Thursday, 9 July 2015 19:44:53 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
It's not me that facebooks whilst driving on the motorway:-) Apprentices do.

You let the apprentices drive?

I have never hesitated to make posts about my own mistakes - either work or
DIY related

or sex or relationships, come to that ...

Owain

"GB" wrote in message
...

I'd love to be your apprentice, because I'd learn an awful lot.

There would also be a lot I would not have to teach you. Yesterday I asked
the apprentice "can you pass me that invoice out of the dashboard please?"

There were only two items in the dashboard, an invoice and a blank piece of
cardboard (used on my orderbook to stop cc to the next page). Need I tell
you what item I was given?




--
Adam