Why are councils re-laying all the cables and replacing all the streetlamp poles for no ****ing reason? All they needed to do was to change the lamp on the top. What a waste of millions of pounds of council taxes. The cables worked fine. The poles were in perfect condition.

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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she Landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"