Pinched from elsewhere

A LITTLE NAUGHTY ONLY FOR YOU

A successful rancher died and left everything to his
devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined
to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching,
so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for
a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one
else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring
it would be safer to have him around the house than
the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours
every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was
doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,
"You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.

You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one
Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace
with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly..

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by
her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes
in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra.."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and
dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

On 16/06/2011 00:36, Unbeliever wrote:
Pinched from elsewhere

A LITTLE NAUGHTY ONLY FOR YOU

A successful rancher died and left everything to his
devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined
to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching,
so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for
a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one
else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring
it would be safer to have him around the house than
the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours
every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was
doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,
"You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.

You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one
Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace
with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly..

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by
her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes
in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra.."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and
dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals. Am
I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:37:56 +0100, Invisible Man wrote:

On 16/06/2011 00:36, Unbeliever wrote:
Pinched from elsewhere

A LITTLE NAUGHTY ONLY FOR YOU

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew
a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.

You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he
found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of
wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly..

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra.."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to
the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals. Am
I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

He's an idiot.



--
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK:
http://www.mirrorservice.org

*lightning protection* - a w_tom conductor

On 16/06/2011 06:47, Bob Eager wrote:


I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals. Am
I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

He's an idiot.

A fact he has demonstrated on a regular basis.

The joke is so old it must go back to when he was promoted to foreman in
the 1950's.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

The Medway Handyman wrote:

The joke is so old it must go back to when he was promoted to foreman
in the 1950's.

I still remember the first time I heard a funny version of that joke ....

On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:37:56 +0100, Invisible Man wrote:

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals. Am
I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

Yeah, you *never* see *any* gay men in drag.

So obviously our cowboy was one of the 10% of cross-dressers who must -
according to you - be gay.

Maybe it was an old joke, and maybe it's a bit corny, but I hadn't heard
it before and I found it funny.


--
John Stumbles

Pessimists are never disappointed

On 16/06/2011 10:27, John Stumbles wrote:
On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:37:56 +0100, Invisible Man wrote:

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals. Am
I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

Yeah, you *never* see *any* gay men in drag.

So obviously our cowboy was one of the 10% of cross-dressers who must -
according to you - be gay.

Maybe it was an old joke, and maybe it's a bit corny, but I hadn't heard
it before and I found it funny.


Maybe having worked in the mental health area of the NHS I am a little
more sensitive to false stereotyping than some.

In article ,
John Stumbles wrote:
Yeah, you *never* see *any* gay men in drag.

So obviously our cowboy was one of the 10% of cross-dressers who must -
according to you - be gay.

There's a big difference between cross dressing and drag.

--
*Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.*

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Jun 16, 10:59 am, "Dave Plowman (News)"
wrote:
In article ,
John Stumbles wrote:

Yeah, you *never* see *any* gay men in drag.
So obviously our cowboy was one of the 10% of cross-dressers who must -
according to you - be gay.

There's a big difference between cross dressing and drag.

don't tell him Pike

Jim K

Invisible Man wrote:
On 16/06/2011 10:27, John Stumbles wrote:
On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:37:56 +0100, Invisible Man wrote:

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are
heterosexuals. Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

Yeah, you *never* see *any* gay men in drag.

So obviously our cowboy was one of the 10% of cross-dressers who
must - according to you - be gay.

Maybe it was an old joke, and maybe it's a bit corny, but I hadn't
heard it before and I found it funny.


Maybe having worked in the mental health area of the NHS I am a little
more sensitive to false stereotyping than some.

Now that is cruel. I never knew they made the patients work in those
places... must write to my MP.

Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
John Stumbles wrote:
Yeah, you *never* see *any* gay men in drag.

So obviously our cowboy was one of the 10% of cross-dressers who
must - according to you - be gay.

There's a big difference between cross dressing and drag.

Yep. I get cross, no, bloody angry when dressing and then having to drag
myself to work each day.

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Invisible Man
saying something like:

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals.

Yep. Somewhere around there.

Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

Yep, somewhere around there. Either that, or just a nasty bigot who
thinks that was funny - I know what my money's on.

"GB" wrote in message
...
The Medway Handyman wrote:

The joke is so old it must go back to when he was promoted to foreman
in the 1950's.

I still remember the first time I heard a funny version of that joke ....

Parker in Thunderbirds.

I still remember the first time I heard a funny version of that
joke ....

Parker in Thunderbirds.

That's the version I remember too, made me laugh, unlike this latest
posting!

The Medway Handyman wrote:
On 16/06/2011 06:47, Bob Eager wrote:


I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are
heterosexuals. Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

He's an idiot.

Takes one to recognise one!

A fact he has demonstrated on a regular basis.

Just trying to keep up with you TMH - and failing miserably (fortunately).

The joke is so old it must go back to when he was promoted to foreman
in the 1950's.

Well at least I did something useful - unlike being a salesman (failed) like
you.

Invisible Man wrote:
On 16/06/2011 00:36, Unbeliever wrote:
Pinched from elsewhere

A LITTLE NAUGHTY ONLY FOR YOU

A successful rancher died and left everything to his
devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined
to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching,
so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for
a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one
else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring
it would be safer to have him around the house than
the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours
every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was
doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,
"You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.

You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one
Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace
with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly..

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by
her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes
in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra.."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and
dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals.
Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

You just lack a sense of humour.

Bob Eager wrote:
On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:37:56 +0100, Invisible Man wrote:

On 16/06/2011 00:36, Unbeliever wrote:
Pinched from elsewhere

A LITTLE NAUGHTY ONLY FOR YOU

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch,
but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad
in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and
knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very
well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.

You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room,
he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass
of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly..

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the
firelight.

"Now take off my bra.."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to
the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are
heterosexuals. Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

He's an idiot.

I didn't know you cared bob.

On Jun 16, 10:26*am, "GB" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
The joke is so old it must go back to when he was promoted to foreman
in the 1950's.

I still remember the first time I heard a funny version of that joke ....

An early tellling in the 60s/70s was by Frankie Howerd. Replayed on
the telly just last year in his life story.


rusty

On 16/06/2011 21:53, Unbeliever wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
On 16/06/2011 06:47, Bob Eager wrote:


I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are
heterosexuals. Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

He's an idiot.

Takes one to recognise one!

Actually, every response to your post has confirmed the view that you
are an idiot.

A fact he has demonstrated on a regular basis.

Just trying to keep up with you TMH - and failing miserably (fortunately).

You appear to have failed miserably at life in general, whic probably
accounts for you being a bitter twisted idiot.

The joke is so old it must go back to when he was promoted to foreman
in the 1950's.

Well at least I did something useful - unlike being a salesman (failed) like
you.

You were once promoted to foreman. What an achievement.

FYI - I was (and still am) an extremely good salesman, area manager,
regional manager & sales director.

I have been many things - I will be many more.

You remain an idiot.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On 16/06/2011 21:54, Unbeliever wrote:
Invisible Man wrote:
"

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals.
Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

You just lack a sense of humour.

No, he has a sense of humour.

--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
...
On 16/06/2011 21:53, Unbeliever wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
On 16/06/2011 06:47, Bob Eager wrote:


I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are
heterosexuals. Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

He's an idiot.

Takes one to recognise one!

Actually, every response to your post has confirmed the view that you are
an idiot.

A fact he has demonstrated on a regular basis.

Just trying to keep up with you TMH - and failing miserably
(fortunately).

You appear to have failed miserably at life in general, whic probably
accounts for you being a bitter twisted idiot.

The joke is so old it must go back to when he was promoted to foreman
in the 1950's.

Well at least I did something useful - unlike being a salesman (failed)
like
you.

You were once promoted to foreman. What an achievement.

FYI - I was (and still am) an extremely good salesman, area manager,
regional manager & sales director.

I have been many things - I will be many more.

You remain an idiot.

Nicely said, d'you think he's a tad miffed about something? I've detected a
hint of animosity towards you.
LMFAO

On 16/06/2011 23:49, The Medway Handyman wrote:
On 16/06/2011 21:54, Unbeliever wrote:
Invisible Man wrote:
"

I thought he was gay? 90 percent of cross dressers are heterosexuals.
Am I missing something or is the OP an idiot?

You just lack a sense of humour.

No, he has a sense of humour.

Must have or I wouldn't be here. Just off to ROFL. Lol

On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 10:31:53 +0100, Invisible Man wrote:

Maybe having worked in the mental health area of the NHS I am a little
more sensitive to false stereotyping than some.

I didn't think either homosexuality or cross-dressing was regarded as a
mental health issue these days.

I've been an engineer of various sorts all my life so I'm undoubtedly
less politically correct than someone who's worked in the mental health
area of the NHS, but I have been sharing the planet with people of
various sexualities and predilections (as well as other characteristics
of nature or choice) and seen and been repelled by the bigotry visited
upon those outside the mainstream; and I have, I hope, not been slow to
take issue with such bigotry when I see it.

And I didn't see it here.

I agree that the joke relied on a - perhaps outdated - notion that made
it easier to identify the cowboy as a cross-dresser since we knew that he
was gay. The joke would probably have elicited blank incomprehension from
most people had he been straight, even if 90%[1] of cross-dressers are
straight men. But I don't think the joke was putting down the gay guy.
But maybe that's because I don't think cross-dressing is a bad thing, any
more than being gay.

If someone else did find it offensive then I'm interested to know in what
specific way they thought it so; maybe I'm missing some sensibility here.


[1] Incidentally that statistic[2] is misleading in this context: more
men are straight than gay, so what we need to know is what proportion of
straight men cross-dress compared to what proportion of gay men. If, say,
10% of men are gay[3] then there would be an equal proportion of cross-
dressers amongst straight and gay men. And we haven't even started to
factor in those who cross-dress in private and those who do so in public,
and whether the proportions are different among straight and gay cross-
dressers!


[2] reference?

[3] AIUI it's not a straightforward statistic to gather as there's a
considerable disparity between the number of actively gay men and those
who declare themselves gay



--
John Stumbles

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 10:59:34 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

There's a big difference between cross dressing and drag.

I didn't know that: I thought men in frocks was men in frocks.
So what is the difference?


--
John Stumbles

Sent from my Turing Machine

In article ,
John Stumbles wrote:
On Thu, 16 Jun 2011 10:59:34 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

There's a big difference between cross dressing and drag.

I didn't know that: I thought men in frocks was men in frocks.
So what is the difference?

Drag is that over the top interpretation of a woman - glamorous? Think
Danny LaRue. And are pretty well always gay. When that word meant
homosexual.

Cross dressers usually try to dress like an average woman. And are mostly
heterosexual.

--
*Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Sat, 18 Jun 2011 10:33:13 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

Drag is that over the top interpretation of a woman - glamorous? Think
Danny LaRue. And are pretty well always gay. When that word meant
homosexual.

Cross dressers usually try to dress like an average woman. And are
mostly heterosexual.

Ahhh! [light bulb appears over head :-)]



--
John Stumbles

Pessimists are never disappointed

On 22/06/2011 09:22, John Stumbles wrote:
On Sat, 18 Jun 2011 10:33:13 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

Drag is that over the top interpretation of a woman - glamorous? Think
Danny LaRue. And are pretty well always gay. When that word meant
homosexual.

Cross dressers usually try to dress like an average woman. And are
mostly heterosexual.

Ahhh! [light bulb appears over head :-)]

Has it just appeared or, in these days of CFLs, did it appear a while
ago, but it's taken a while to reach a useful level of illumination?

SteveW