9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.

You have to queue for half an hour:
OK, this is Britain and you expect that. You expect to not have street
entertainers or any razzamatazz take place unless you count drunks
fighting and throwing up when it's over.

They charge you £5 to sell you beer.
OK, it's beer but if it isn't in a pub.....
It might be real ale but it won't be what you are used to. (Unless you
brew your own.)

Five quid -less a beer token and a glass that normally only a woman
would use:
They sell you a beer glass that holds half a pint and you get a token
worth a quid. That's the entrance fee.

Real ale needs to be conditioned:
It is kept in a cool cellar for a reason and has normally to be left on
the stillage for as much as 3 days. Not in a beer dfestival hall. Those
imitation beer tents are adverts for chemically settled keg lagers.

Real ale goes flat:
There are rows of differet beers on offer. But you will be used to it
coming out of the cellar with gas in it. Beer engines or not, you
expect cool beer with an head.

You use the same glass for each sample:
That's all they are, samples. Good job too as you can't just leave the
glass to the barmaids and try something else, you have to hand the
thing over to the barman and get him to tip it for you.
He then sniffs the glass and wonders why you don't like it.

You don't know what you are drinking:
But you have to get an half of it to find out. The problem is that
though it qualifies as real ale, it isn't the stuff of your dreams back
in the good old days.
In the good old days, real ale was all they had and it came in proofs
of 3.1 to 3.5. Nowadays even mild if you can find it (there were two on
offer) is stronger than that.

CAMRA is not about cultu
Unless you count yeast molds that is. They are just ****-ups geared to
modern trends and have nothing to do with the way things were when you
worked hard and drank hard. Today one shirks hard and drink hard stuff.

Well that's me shrieked out.

I wasted 5 quid and an hour of my time in which I paid for 1 1/2 pints.
One glass I forced down my neck, one I gave back for ditching and one I
drank half of before cutting my losses and heading home to spend a more
profitable evening watching nothing on the TV.

I used to brew my own beer but gave it up as a bad job. I didn't expect
to be reminded why in such a miserly way. I want to start a campaign
for unreal ale. Only of course there is no need. Real men already drink
it. That's why only ex-hippy types and hippie wannabies support CAMRA.

No one with any taste buys the stuff.

9:
You get to keep the glass and it will remind you of a wasted evening
the like of which you don't recall since the time you went to an
accoustic only folk club and found it was held away from the bar, in a
room unheated and devoid of tables.

Imagine wasting two evenings in one lifetime drinking beer. You
wouldn't think it possible, would you?

"Weatherlawyer" wrote in message
oups.com...
9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.

[snip]

9:
You get to keep the glass and it will remind you of a wasted evening
the like of which you don't recall since the time you went to an
accoustic only folk club and found it was held away from the bar, in a
room unheated and devoid of tables.

Imagine wasting two evenings in one lifetime drinking beer. You
wouldn't think it possible, would you?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I take it you don't have a beard?

Weatherlawyer wrote:
9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.

You have to queue for half an hour:
OK, this is Britain and you expect that. You expect to not have street
entertainers or any razzamatazz take place unless you count drunks
fighting and throwing up when it's over.

They charge you £5 to sell you beer.
OK, it's beer but if it isn't in a pub.....
It might be real ale but it won't be what you are used to. (Unless you
brew your own.)

Five quid -less a beer token and a glass that normally only a woman
would use:
They sell you a beer glass that holds half a pint and you get a token
worth a quid. That's the entrance fee.

Real ale needs to be conditioned:
It is kept in a cool cellar for a reason and has normally to be left on
the stillage for as much as 3 days. Not in a beer dfestival hall. Those
imitation beer tents are adverts for chemically settled keg lagers.

Real ale goes flat:
There are rows of differet beers on offer. But you will be used to it
coming out of the cellar with gas in it. Beer engines or not, you
expect cool beer with an head.

You use the same glass for each sample:
That's all they are, samples. Good job too as you can't just leave the
glass to the barmaids and try something else, you have to hand the
thing over to the barman and get him to tip it for you.
He then sniffs the glass and wonders why you don't like it.

You don't know what you are drinking:
But you have to get an half of it to find out. The problem is that
though it qualifies as real ale, it isn't the stuff of your dreams back
in the good old days.
In the good old days, real ale was all they had and it came in proofs
of 3.1 to 3.5. Nowadays even mild if you can find it (there were two on
offer) is stronger than that.

CAMRA is not about cultu
Unless you count yeast molds that is. They are just ****-ups geared to
modern trends and have nothing to do with the way things were when you
worked hard and drank hard. Today one shirks hard and drink hard stuff.

Well that's me shrieked out.

I wasted 5 quid and an hour of my time in which I paid for 1 1/2 pints.
One glass I forced down my neck, one I gave back for ditching and one I
drank half of before cutting my losses and heading home to spend a more
profitable evening watching nothing on the TV.

I used to brew my own beer but gave it up as a bad job. I didn't expect
to be reminded why in such a miserly way. I want to start a campaign
for unreal ale. Only of course there is no need. Real men already drink
it. That's why only ex-hippy types and hippie wannabies support CAMRA.

No one with any taste buys the stuff.

9:
You get to keep the glass and it will remind you of a wasted evening
the like of which you don't recall since the time you went to an
accoustic only folk club and found it was held away from the bar, in a
room unheated and devoid of tables.

Imagine wasting two evenings in one lifetime drinking beer. You
wouldn't think it possible, would you?


You should know better. The annual Sri Lankan cricket festival held in
Bromley is a good example of how to run an outdoor event. Excellent food
and drink, reasonably priced, and a genuinely good atmosphere. Mind you,
apart from one of the umpires, we were the only white people there. Not
drawing any conclusions of course.

"Weatherlawyer" wrote:
9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.

You have to queue for half an hour:
OK, this is Britain and you expect that. You expect to not have street
entertainers or any razzamatazz take place unless you count drunks
fighting and throwing up when it's over.

They charge you £5 to sell you beer.
OK, it's beer but if it isn't in a pub.....
It might be real ale but it won't be what you are used to. (Unless you
brew your own.)

Five quid -less a beer token and a glass that normally only a woman
would use:
They sell you a beer glass that holds half a pint and you get a token
worth a quid. That's the entrance fee.

Real ale needs to be conditioned:
It is kept in a cool cellar for a reason and has normally to be left on
the stillage for as much as 3 days. Not in a beer dfestival hall. Those
imitation beer tents are adverts for chemically settled keg lagers.

Real ale goes flat:
There are rows of differet beers on offer. But you will be used to it
coming out of the cellar with gas in it. Beer engines or not, you
expect cool beer with an head.

You use the same glass for each sample:
That's all they are, samples. Good job too as you can't just leave the
glass to the barmaids and try something else, you have to hand the
thing over to the barman and get him to tip it for you.
He then sniffs the glass and wonders why you don't like it.

You don't know what you are drinking:
But you have to get an half of it to find out. The problem is that
though it qualifies as real ale, it isn't the stuff of your dreams back
in the good old days.
In the good old days, real ale was all they had and it came in proofs
of 3.1 to 3.5. Nowadays even mild if you can find it (there were two on
offer) is stronger than that.

CAMRA is not about cultu
Unless you count yeast molds that is. They are just ****-ups geared to
modern trends and have nothing to do with the way things were when you
worked hard and drank hard. Today one shirks hard and drink hard stuff.

Well that's me shrieked out.

I wasted 5 quid and an hour of my time in which I paid for 1 1/2 pints.
One glass I forced down my neck, one I gave back for ditching and one I
drank half of before cutting my losses and heading home to spend a more
profitable evening watching nothing on the TV.

I used to brew my own beer but gave it up as a bad job. I didn't expect
to be reminded why in such a miserly way. I want to start a campaign
for unreal ale. Only of course there is no need. Real men already drink
it. That's why only ex-hippy types and hippie wannabies support CAMRA.

No one with any taste buys the stuff.

9:
You get to keep the glass and it will remind you of a wasted evening
the like of which you don't recall since the time you went to an
accoustic only folk club and found it was held away from the bar, in a
room unheated and devoid of tables.

Imagine wasting two evenings in one lifetime drinking beer. You
wouldn't think it possible, would you?

=========================================

The last beer festival I went to was in 1980 and was just as you described.
It's nice to know that some things don't change

In message .com,
Weatherlawyer writes
9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.

You have to queue for half an hour:

... ...

Imagine wasting two evenings in one lifetime drinking beer. You
wouldn't think it possible, would you?

1 reason to go to a beer festival

you won't meet Weatherlawyer there

--
geoff

Perhaps you should patronise your local Wetherspoon pub?

They have a beer festival on at the moment (until Tuesday!) However,
there's bound to still be a selection left over afterwards - they don't
chuck it down the drain at midnight!

You don't pay to get in

You only wait as long as you usually would in the pub to get served.

You choose what size glass you want

You can ask for (and get!) a free taste of the ale before you buy it

You only pay £1.59 a pint.

There's no loud music!

Terry

Perhaps you should patronise your local Wetherspoon pub?

They have a beer festival on at the moment (until Tuesday!) However,
there's bound to still be a selection left over afterwards - they don't
chuck it down the drain at midnight!

You don't pay to get in

You only wait as long as you usually would in the pub to get served.

You choose what size glass you want

You can ask for (and get!) a free taste of the ale before you buy it

You only pay £1.59 a pint.

There's no loud music!

Terry

Weatherlawyer wrote:


I tend to go to a better class of beer festival, where you can return
the glass and get the deposit back, where you don't queue (unless you
insist on Saturday) and where the beer tastes pretty good. It's not
supposed to be chilled and fizzy, any more than you'd want red wine
chilled or sparkling.

Rochford is next month.

In message , Joe
writes
Weatherlawyer wrote:


I tend to go to a better class of beer festival, where you can return
the glass and get the deposit back, where you don't queue (unless you
insist on Saturday) and where the beer tastes pretty good. It's not
supposed to be chilled and fizzy, any more than you'd want red wine
chilled or sparkling.

That was going to be more or less my reply then I thought CBA, it would
only go way over his head

--
geoff

"Weatherlawyer" wrote in message
oups.com...
9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.

snip

Sounds like you should stick to lager.

Joe wrote:

Rochford is next month.

Must get round to trying that one this year...

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

In message , John
Rumm writes
Joe wrote:

Rochford is next month.

Must get round to trying that one this year...

Stop all this talk of beer festivals ...

I've stopped drinking for a couple of months

--
geoff

9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.
snip

Drink Cider then......Mans drink.
Proper cider, not the wishy-washy shyte like Magners and Woodpecker.
Plenty of quality ciders and perrys out there, just Google and look for
them.

Many's the time I have been to a cider farm, sampled, purchased, drunk (too
much) and woken next day without a hangover.
Don't *do* lager as the chemicals give me the farts and a blinder of a
headache.
Bitter is an acquired taste and not to everyone liking.
Newky Broon is fine, especially chilled on a summer evening.
Guinness is only worth drinking if it's genuine Irish, although the London
brewed stuff can be good is served properly and kept chilled to 52 degrees.
(As most proper beers are.

Beer fests........Rarely worth going to unless organised by a quality
publican.

In message , 6 writes

9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.
snip

Drink Cider then......Mans drink.

Lager drinkers don't do "Mans drinks" do they

He'd be scared of the bits floating around, that it wasn't fizzy and it
wasn't cold

Proper cider, not the wishy-washy shyte like Magners and Woodpecker.
Plenty of quality ciders and perrys out there, just Google and look for
them.

Many's the time I have been to a cider farm, sampled, purchased, drunk (too
much) and woken next day without a hangover.
Don't *do* lager as the chemicals give me the farts and a blinder of a
headache.
Bitter is an acquired taste and not to everyone liking.
Newky Broon is fine, especially chilled on a summer evening.
Guinness is only worth drinking if it's genuine Irish, although the London
brewed stuff can be good is served properly and kept chilled to 52 degrees.
(As most proper beers are.

Beer fests........Rarely worth going to unless organised by a quality
publican.



--
geoff

In message , raden
wrote
In message , Joe
writes
Weatherlawyer wrote:


I tend to go to a better class of beer festival, where you can return
the glass and get the deposit back, where you don't queue (unless you
insist on Saturday) and where the beer tastes pretty good. It's not
supposed to be chilled and fizzy, any more than you'd want red wine
chilled or sparkling.

That was going to be more or less my reply then I thought CBA, it would
only go way over his head


I've attended too many festivals, pub and CAMRA, where the beer has been
flat and out of condition. This is probably down to poor quality beer
management and removing the spiles from all the casks for very long
periods of time.

I've worked at festivals where the beer managers have removed the spiles
from 50 casks for every session including a four hour lunch time
session where only 30 pints have been sold! If a less popular beer has
been on sale for the best part of a week it is likely to be well out of
condition towards the end under these circumstances.

The lack of care in keeping the beer in good condition at many festivals
may put a lot of potential converts to Real Ale from drinking it again.
It's often on the Friday and Saturday nights where these potential _new_
converts will turn up. Regular festival attendees are likely to go
earlier in the week when the beer quality is better.

--
Alan
news2006 {at} amac {dot} f2s {dot} com

6 wrote:

snip
Guinness is only worth drinking if it's genuine Irish, although the London
brewed stuff can be good is served properly ...

Would "London" be the Park Poyal brewery which, closed some time ago
(and has recently been sold!)

Don't drink the stuff myself, but you obviously can't tell the
difference between Park Royal and St James's Gate product!

Try drinking with your taste buds, not with your preconceptions!

The message .com
from "Terry" contains these words:

Would "London" be the Park Poyal brewery which, closed some time ago
(and has recently been sold!)

My father in law worked there. He was in Quality Control - the queue for
the job applications went round the block!

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

raden wrote:

In message , John
Rumm writes

Joe wrote:

Rochford is next month.


Must get round to trying that one this year...

Stop all this talk of beer festivals ...

I've stopped drinking for a couple of months

Why?

Have you started to get those blank periods when you first open your
eyes as you wake ;-)

I must admit to having 2 pints of real ale at lunchtime, but I have cut
down drastically the whisky at night.

Dave

In message , Dave
writes
raden wrote:

In message ,
John Rumm writes

Joe wrote:

Rochford is next month.


Must get round to trying that one this year...

Stop all this talk of beer festivals ...
I've stopped drinking for a couple of months

Why?

My Sister-in-Law's getting married in a couple of months and it's lose
the weight or buy a new suit time

--
geoff

6 wrote:

Guinness is only worth drinking if it's genuine Irish, although the London
brewed stuff can be good is served properly and kept chilled to 52 degrees.
(As most proper beers are.

A crate of Guinness "Foreign Extra" followed me home from Makro last
time I was there. Now that *is* nice... 7.5% ABV though!

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

raden wrote:
In message , Dave
writes

raden wrote:

In message ,
John Rumm writes

Joe wrote:

Rochford is next month.



Must get round to trying that one this year...

Stop all this talk of beer festivals ...
I've stopped drinking for a couple of months


Why?

My Sister-in-Law's getting married in a couple of months and it's lose
the weight or buy a new suit time

Ah! Understood. Right now, I am at the opposite end. I have run myself
down, due to the heat (I can't eat when I am feeling hot) so I am
munching as a write :-)

Dave

In message , Dave
writes
Must get round to trying that one this year...

Stop all this talk of beer festivals ...
I've stopped drinking for a couple of months


Why?

My Sister-in-Law's getting married in a couple of months and it's
lose the weight or buy a new suit time

Ah! Understood. Right now, I am at the opposite end. I have run myself
down, due to the heat (I can't eat when I am feeling hot) so I am
munching as a write :-)

Heat?

Where ?

Must have missed that

--
geoff

In message .com,
Weatherlawyer writes
9 Reasons not to go to a beer festival.


uk.food+drink or somesuch is thataway -----------.

Or you could try alt.beer or alt.drinks.beer or camra.org.uk or even try
googling for a CAMRA forum.

Whatever... this isn't uk.chat, it's uk.d-i-y.

expecting
Cue good language, some f**ks, some offs, some c**ts and some mixes of
them all. More noise... to which I have just added.
/expecting
Someone

"Terry" wrote in message
oups.com...

6 wrote:

snip
Guinness is only worth drinking if it's genuine Irish, although the
London
brewed stuff can be good is served properly ...

Would "London" be the Park Poyal brewery which, closed some time ago
(and has recently been sold!)

Don't drink the stuff myself, but you obviously can't tell the
difference between Park Royal and St James's Gate product!

Try drinking with your taste buds, not with your preconceptions!

Having drunk Guiness since I was 17, been to Ireland a few times, drunk in
various establishments around the country and been thrown out for being too
****ed to stand up many times on Cider AND Guinness I feel I already have
the required qualifications for knowing what tastes right for me or whatever

snip rant against beer festivals

Go to the Reading one instead.

Hundreds of beers, including tasting notes to help you choose, so you don't
accidentally end up with a mild delicately flavoured with oxen dung.

Choice of a pint or half glass (although you should only ever actually buy
half a pint, you can spot newbies by them buying pints). Can return glass
for refund if preferred.

Gratuitous overfilling of glasses. Half pints are more like 2/3rds.

No jugglers.

Great pig roasts and pasties.

Just plan on going early in the weekend. By the end, the beer's all gone.
They often have to close a day early due to stock depletion. Also, there are
horrendous queues to get in by the evening and no chance whatsoever of a
table. There's never a queue at the bar, though. Best to take Friday
afternoon off and get there early on Friday to grab a table. Alternatively,
and especially in good weather, take along a picnic blanket and spread out
on the grass.

Christian.

raden wrote:
In message , Dave
writes

Must get round to trying that one this year...

Stop all this talk of beer festivals ...
I've stopped drinking for a couple of months



Why?

My Sister-in-Law's getting married in a couple of months and it's
lose the weight or buy a new suit time

Ah! Understood. Right now, I am at the opposite end. I have run myself
down, due to the heat (I can't eat when I am feeling hot) so I am
munching as a write :-)

Heat?

Where ?

Must have missed that

It has been going on since July, up here in the North west, near the coast.

Dave

10
The lack of care in keeping the beer in good condition at many festivals:
This shows up most
Often on Friday and Saturday nights. Regular festival attendees are likely to go
earlier in the week when the beer quality is "better".

Or was that covered earlier?

In message , Christian
McArdle writes
snip rant against beer festivals

Go to the Reading one instead.

Hundreds of beers,

But does it have fizzy cold ones ?


--
geoff

But does it have fizzy cold ones ?

Bar 38 is that way ----

Christian.