Went by an ex-girlfriends place the other day... she'd talked me into
keeping an eye on her place while out of town.

While there, I noticed her front door hinges were COMPLETELY dry, to the
point of it being hard to move the door. The frame flexed, and you could
hear it up the block. Huge heavy door, sporting 3 big beefy hinges.

Being the nice guy I am, I offered lube it.

I did it the day she came back, and did it right too... took the door
down, cleaned out a couple of tablespoons of dry rust spooge, and put it
all back together with a thin coat of white lithium grease.

What a difference! Once done the door would 'float' all the way from one
end of it's travel to the other with only the slightest nudge. She was
tickled pink at the time.

Now I'm catching hell about how anyone could 'just sneak in
unannounced', and how she can't sleep anymore because of it... wants it
put back like it was, and won't even discuss getting bells or some other
noise maker.

Making matters worse, I went through this same scenario several years
ago with someone else, and had even told her the story before I lubed
the door. She'd thought it funny at the time.

Wish ol' Sam Kinnison were still around. Sure miss him sometimes.

You just can't win. Hope she doesn't up and sue my ass. She's the type
that'd take a crack at it... and has successfully done it (to others)
for less than this in the past.

Erik

On Sun, 16 Jan 2005 06:36:14 GMT, Erik wrote:

Went by an ex-girlfriends place the other day... she'd talked me into
keeping an eye on her place while out of town.

While there, I noticed her front door hinges were COMPLETELY dry, to the
point of it being hard to move the door. The frame flexed, and you could
hear it up the block. Huge heavy door, sporting 3 big beefy hinges.

Being the nice guy I am, I offered lube it.

I did it the day she came back, and did it right too... took the door
down, cleaned out a couple of tablespoons of dry rust spooge, and put it
all back together with a thin coat of white lithium grease.

What a difference! Once done the door would 'float' all the way from one
end of it's travel to the other with only the slightest nudge. She was
tickled pink at the time.

Now I'm catching hell about how anyone could 'just sneak in
unannounced', and how she can't sleep anymore because of it... wants it
put back like it was, and won't even discuss getting bells or some other
noise maker.

Making matters worse, I went through this same scenario several years
ago with someone else, and had even told her the story before I lubed
the door. She'd thought it funny at the time.

Wish ol' Sam Kinnison were still around. Sure miss him sometimes.

You just can't win. Hope she doesn't up and sue my ass. She's the type
that'd take a crack at it... and has successfully done it (to others)
for less than this in the past.

Erik

Spray the hinges with brake cleaner, then pee on em. Pee on them at
least once a day, and she will have her noisy old doors back in no
time.

Gunner

"At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child -
miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied,
demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless.
Liberalism is a philosphy of sniveling brats." -- P.J. O'Rourke

"Gunner" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 16 Jan 2005 06:36:14 GMT, Erik wrote:

Went by an ex-girlfriends place the other day... she'd talked me into
keeping an eye on her place while out of town.

While there, I noticed her front door hinges were COMPLETELY dry, to the
point of it being hard to move the door. The frame flexed, and you could
hear it up the block. Huge heavy door, sporting 3 big beefy hinges.

Being the nice guy I am, I offered lube it.

I did it the day she came back, and did it right too... took the door
down, cleaned out a couple of tablespoons of dry rust spooge, and put it
all back together with a thin coat of white lithium grease.

What a difference! Once done the door would 'float' all the way from one
end of it's travel to the other with only the slightest nudge. She was
tickled pink at the time.

Now I'm catching hell about how anyone could 'just sneak in
unannounced', and how she can't sleep anymore because of it... wants it
put back like it was, and won't even discuss getting bells or some other
noise maker.

Making matters worse, I went through this same scenario several years
ago with someone else, and had even told her the story before I lubed
the door. She'd thought it funny at the time.

Wish ol' Sam Kinnison were still around. Sure miss him sometimes.

You just can't win. Hope she doesn't up and sue my ass. She's the type
that'd take a crack at it... and has successfully done it (to others)
for less than this in the past.

Erik

Spray the hinges with brake cleaner, then pee on em. Pee on them at
least once a day, and she will have her noisy old doors back in no
time.

Gunner


"At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child -
miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied,
demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless.
Liberalism is a philosphy of sniveling brats." -- P.J. O'Rourke

I find it quite ironic that the above is a perfect description... of right
wing conservatives

CBII

Erik wrote:

Went by an ex-girlfriends place the other day... she'd talked me into
keeping an eye on her place while out of town.

While there, I noticed her front door hinges were COMPLETELY dry, to the
point of it being hard to move the door. The frame flexed, and you could
hear it up the block. Huge heavy door, sporting 3 big beefy hinges.

Being the nice guy I am, I offered lube it.

I did it the day she came back, and did it right too... took the door
down, cleaned out a couple of tablespoons of dry rust spooge, and put it
all back together with a thin coat of white lithium grease.

What a difference! Once done the door would 'float' all the way from one
end of it's travel to the other with only the slightest nudge. She was
tickled pink at the time.

Now I'm catching hell about how anyone could 'just sneak in
unannounced', and how she can't sleep anymore because of it... wants it
put back like it was, and won't even discuss getting bells or some other
noise maker.

Making matters worse, I went through this same scenario several years
ago with someone else, and had even told her the story before I lubed
the door. She'd thought it funny at the time.

Wish ol' Sam Kinnison were still around. Sure miss him sometimes.

You just can't win. Hope she doesn't up and sue my ass. She's the type
that'd take a crack at it... and has successfully done it (to others)
for less than this in the past.

Erik




Well next time you do this, don't tell the story first. Sounds like
precedence took over, either that or an extreme case of deja vu.

fred

This may sound cold, but you learned something I learned a some time ago,
which was...Don't volunteer to fix things for people. Let them have to ask
you to do it, as it adds a level of appreciation and accountablity to it.
You will be taken for granted if you're always "Johnny-on-the-spot". This
obviously does not apply to all situations, but for a lot of them. I
finished a trailer hitch adapter for a guy a few years ago, who was
struggling from an obvious lack of skills, and when done, he asked me what
he owed me. I replied seriously that I loved potato chips, and that a large
bag of chips would do. He laughed, taking it as a joke, and went on his way.
Since then, he has asked me for several things, and has been refused each
time, with me telling him that I never got my chips. He laughs, doesn't seem
to take me seriously, and hasn't caught on YET.
For those of you that don't get it, the object of this method is to see
if a man will go out of his way to go to the store to get the chips for you,
or whether he will dismiss you as being unworthy of HIS time.
Appreciative people come back with the chips, get praised for being
stand-up people, and get special consideration for next time.

RJ

"Erik" wrote in message
...
Went by an ex-girlfriends place the other day... she'd talked me into
keeping an eye on her place while out of town.

While there, I noticed her front door hinges were COMPLETELY dry, to the
point of it being hard to move the door. The frame flexed, and you could
hear it up the block. Huge heavy door, sporting 3 big beefy hinges.

Being the nice guy I am, I offered lube it.

I did it the day she came back, and did it right too... took the door
down, cleaned out a couple of tablespoons of dry rust spooge, and put it
all back together with a thin coat of white lithium grease.

What a difference! Once done the door would 'float' all the way from one
end of it's travel to the other with only the slightest nudge. She was
tickled pink at the time.

Now I'm catching hell about how anyone could 'just sneak in
unannounced', and how she can't sleep anymore because of it... wants it
put back like it was, and won't even discuss getting bells or some other
noise maker.

Making matters worse, I went through this same scenario several years
ago with someone else, and had even told her the story before I lubed
the door. She'd thought it funny at the time.

Wish ol' Sam Kinnison were still around. Sure miss him sometimes.

You just can't win. Hope she doesn't up and sue my ass. She's the type
that'd take a crack at it... and has successfully done it (to others)
for less than this in the past.

Erik

In article ,
Erik wrote:

Went by an ex-girlfriends place the other day... she'd talked me into
keeping an eye on her place while out of town.

[...]

You just can't win. Hope she doesn't up and sue my ass. She's the type
that'd take a crack at it... and has successfully done it (to others)
for less than this in the past.

Ah! I now see where the "ex" part comes in. (:
How to fix: remove a hinge pin, wipe off the grease, cover it in
moist salt, (like salt water, but better) remove the other pins, and
push the door over on her. Discard the salted pin.

--
B.B. --I am not a goat! thegoat4 at airmail dot net
http://web2.airmail.net/thegoat4/

"Erik" wrote in message
...

She was
tickled pink at the time.

Now I'm catching hell about how anyone could 'just sneak in
unannounced', and how she can't sleep anymore because of it... wants it
put back like it was, and won't even discuss getting bells or some other
noise maker.


There is a reason she is your ex-girlfriend. Sounds to me like she just
reminded you of why.
Ignore her whining about the door. If you feed the source of the whining,
it will only grow stronger and more annoying.

--

Roger Shoaf

About the time I had mastered getting the toothpaste back in the tube, then
they come up with this striped stuff.

On Sun, 16 Jan 2005 06:36:14 GMT, Erik wrote:


Wish ol' Sam Kinnison were still around. Sure miss him sometimes.


Funny funny man, I'm sure he's in upper managment in hell by now.
He was good therapy after I gave away everything I owned to the woman
I loved

Backlash wrote:

Appreciative people come back with the chips, get praised for being
stand-up people, and get special consideration for next time.

Hell, I'd come back with at least a six pack to wash the chips down
with...
I've done a few things for a friend. Wanted to borrow his wire puller
for a wiring project in my shop, he delivered it. The other day we got a
dusting of snow, he drove 10 miles to come plow our driveway.
It's a pleasure to do things for folks like that!

Jon

SNORT! Coffee. Nose.
--
Fred R
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