Don Foreman wrote:


Still truckin', doing new things. Still hurtin', that won't go away
any time soon, but also finding some joy here and there, now and
then. Have a fellow traveller and new friend now walking this trail
with me. It's not a romance and won't be anytime soon if ever, but
it is a friendship and it's good.

Attended the first major league ball game since childhood. That was
fun!

This week I will attend the Minnesota State Fair with family visiting
from overseas. I have never been to the State Fair. I purely hate
crowds but I'm trying lots of new things. They don't all work. Most
of them don't work, but some do and that's what counts.

I have learned that ya can't change the average or mean value of
grief. It will be what it will be, everyone's case being different
but it cannot be denied. Some contrive to stay near the mean because
the lows that come after highs are painful. I've been there, done
that. It's numbness. They (we) even look numb. My new friend/fellow
traveller and I choose to go for some joy here and there, now and
then. If it costs us, then it does but we're still alive and healing.
Please don't miscontrue, that joy has nothing to do with romance or
sex and won't for quite a while if ever. It has to do with laughter
and companionship and just purely enjoying each other's company on our
comparable and parallel journeys. We talk freely about Buck and Mary
because we'll never forget or stop loving our late spouses. That's
how it works.

That doesn't mean that there's no life after; she's been widowed
before and had a close, treasured, and now sorely missed relationship
with her most recent late spouse. It does mean that no new
relationship can replace previous ones that were good. It doesn't
work that way. He or she who seeks a replacement is bound for trouble.
Finally got back on the trail I like here in Fridley. It's been closed
after the trainwreck. It's still closed but we peons have revolted.
The actual site is blocked off and few take issue with that, but
that's only a few hundred feet of trail going under the failed bridge
-- which is now repaired and bearing heavy daily revenue-producing
rail traffic thru Fridley, with attendant noise and stink of diesel
thru the adjacent neighborhoods, but the damaged surrounding park
landscape is still a mess, nearly no remedial activity is evident, and
communication with the community is nil.

Blocking the trail a quarter mile away is absurd. They put up yellow
tape, walkers and cyclists cut it down within minutes. They kipe our
field-expedient bridges over the water-filled ditches (planks, etc) we
replace them. They put up no trespassing signs, we ignore them. That
gap in the fence and trail thru the weeds has been there for years,
signs won't change community folkways. The gaps in the fence are
clearly deliberate, the fence is made that way!

Burlington Northern Santa Fe, get busy fixing our trail that you
broke. You had your revenue-producing line back in service within a
week, a nearly heroic accomplishment, so there is no doubt that you
have the ability and wherewithal to repair the damage to our park.

I'd been pushing hard on the alternate route. When I feel bummy (as
often to usually happens about midafternoon) I push even harder. Today
I found that I'd cut six minutes off my previous personal best for
that route. That's about 12%.


Keep it up. It sounds like you're doing as well as can be expected,
at this point in time.


--
You can't have a sense of humor, if you have no sense.