I would be grateful for any and all advice & humor -- A woodpecker has moved
into our neighborhood -- The side of my home is pressure treated wood with a
20 year stain applied. After a woodpecker attacked a corner of my home I
was told "There must be bugs underneath". After removing the wood, spraying
for bugs on the outside and in the attic, and manually inspecting for bugs,
there is absolutely no damage except the three three inch holes the
woodpecker drilled into the siding. I think he hears some sort of
ultrasonic antenna noise from the old TV antenna or the Cable for the cable
TV -- other than that he is just nuts. Nine of my ten neighbors will take
me out to dinner if I shoot him because he has been ripping into their homes
also.
The rich guy on the block is entertained an thinks we are all cuckoo
because he has steel siding.
Last week the woodpecker tore into my new pressure treated, bug
repellant sprayed, freshly stained corner trim. What are my options?

Going cuckoo in the midwest.