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Posted to alt.checkmate, alt.home.repair, alt.suicide.methods,alt.usenet.kooks, rec.food.cooking
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Posts: 11
Default Hey Fudge Monkey...

Time to spin the kooks up again. Melt, kooks, melt. snicker

Rick "Jism Junkie Gerbil Cannon" Sabian (aka Chimpy The Illiterate
Ignorant Lying Walter Mitty Credit-Stealing Gay Queer Cum Guzzling
Boner-Bouncing Slut), socked up as Checkmate, in
m did thusly jump
head first into the wood chipper again:

Suck it. LOL!
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"""""""""""""""" """"""""""


Chimpy says that to all the guys. LOL

Chimpy the fudge monkey has insisted for *years* that a vagina was
actually "a man's gaping asshole and a pair of balls" (Chimpy's words)
because he's *so* gay that even when he looks straight at a vagina,
all he sees is "a man's gaping asshole and a pair of balls" (Chimpy's
words). That's because Chimpy *is* the "throbbing pulse of faggotry"
(Chimpy's words). That's why Chimpy responds to the name "Ignorant Gay
Lying Faggot Slut". LOL

Chimpy had the goatse image in his fapfolder, so when I posted that
picture of a gaping vagina in reference to his story about "the one
who got away" thinking that a ragged-out crack whore would be the
*best* Chimpy could hope to attract, Chimpy immediately launched into
a years-long rant about his "lost love" being the goatse image.

How else would Chimpy know that the "lost love" image was an altered
version of the goatse image to show a vagina rather than male dangly
bits, and why would he insist for *years* that his "lost love"
actually had male dangly bits? LOL!

A paraphrasing of what Chimpy was essentially ranting for *years*:
"Nuhhh-uhhhh! That image is supposed to be the goatse image! I should
know, I have it in my fapfolder and it was *my* "lost love"! You will
immediately change the image of my lost love back to having a "man's
gaping asshole", "gaping asshole and balls", "giant ball-like labia"
and "a nut sack swinging" or I'll stamp my high heels and hit you with
my purse!" LOL!

Take, for instance, this emoticon:

And now I'll change it to: :-)

But Chimpy will insist it's still a noseless sad-face emoticon because
he was caught insisting that the picture of his "lost love" was
actually the goatse image and that his "lost love" actually had a
"man's gaping asshole" (Chimpy's words), "gaping asshole and balls"
(Chimpy's words), "giant ball-like labia" (Chimpy's words) and "a nut
sack swinging" (Chimpy's words)... he has no other choice but to
insist that every altered image is still the original and therefore
that his "lost love" *was* a man as he's insisted for years... which
makes him the "throbbing pulse of faggotry" (Chimpy's words) LOL

Message-ID:
================================================== ==============
She's the fish that got away, all because Chimpy didn't have $5 or a
rock of crack as payment. She was...
/ \ \ / \
| | | |
| ' `. ASSHOLE | :
\ | | \| |
\ | / v \\ :
/\ \/ _-- __| \ |
/ \ \_-~ / (*) \ ~-\ |
| \_ \ _/-------\.____,_\| |
\ \ \_,____// _ ___ _ (____ / |
\,___\ ___) ______ (_____ /
^ /\ | ____)/ \(_____ |_/\
| / /\| _____) | (___ / \
BOOB | ( _____)\_______/ /// _/ / \
| \ \_ \\\_________/// (__/ \
| \ \___) \`--\\_//--'/ /|
| \ / \ / |
| \_ / ^ \ _/ |
| / | \ |
| / / VAGINA \ |
| / / \ |
| / | |
| | | |
that big. But unlike fishermen's tales of "the one that got away",
this one doesn't get bigger with time, only smaller.
================================================== ==============
Note the labeling so Chimpy can find his way around unfamiliar
territory. LOL!

Come to find out, Chimpy's "lost love" was a result of a hard drive
crash. LOL!

================================================== =============
Message-ID:
Message-ID:
Message-ID:

Checkmate wrote of his "unhappy childhood experiences" (Chimpy's
words) of receiving "belly-rubbing faggoty bum-stuffing" (Chimpy's
words) from his "belly-rubbing, bum-stuffing drunkard daddy" (Chimpy's
words), and what his "belly-rubbing horndog homodaddy" (Chimpy's
words) "did to his asshole... like turn it inside-out" (Chimpy's
words), an experience that was like "trying to stuff the toothpaste
back into the tube" (Chimpy's words) which caused him to become the
"poor pathetic bum-stuffed son of a drunken faggot" (Chimpy's words)
who propositions guys with lines like "I'd like to tickle his ass"
(Chimpy's words), "My penis will spit in your face." (Chimpy's words),
"He could do us both at the same time." (Chimpy's words) and "You will
now suck my penis until I am sufficiently pleasured." (Chimpy's words
to a dude in a dress).

One must wonder if his father realizes "the monster he created when he
was butt-****ing his own son?" (Chimpy's words) because "this isn't
something a normal person dreams up" (Chimpy's words), "this is
something that obviously happened" (Chimpy's words), because "nobody
plucks those kind of details out of thin air" (Chimpy's words), so it
had to be his "own personal experience" (Chimpy's words).
================================================== =============

But that was just the beginning, poor Chimpy gives off such a gay vibe
that he is molested everywhere he goes:
Message-ID:
================================================== =============
I think what it means, is that you don't need to worry about waking up
from the anesthesia with your pants around your ankles, laying
face-down in the dental chair, with the dentist telling you you can
spit now.
================================================== =============

Let's add some emphasis to better suss the meaning of Chimpy's words:
================================================== =============
I think what it means, is that *you* don't need to "worry" about
waking up from the anesthesia with *your* pants around *your* ankles,
laying face-down in the dental chair, with the dentist telling you
*you* can spit now.
================================================== =============

But apparently Chimpy's *so* gay he does need to "worry" (read: hope)
that he wakes up in that condition. LOL

So in short, Chimpy is a real-world Mr. Garrison from South Park. He
drives around in his little pooftercar honking his bulb-horn and
shouting "I am NOT gaaaaaay! I dare any man to pound my ass to prove
iiiiit! I guarantee I'll pretend to not like it no matter how hard you
pounnnnnd.".

Melt, Chimpy, melt.
Froth, Chimpy, froth.
Dance, Chimpy, dance!
Muahahaha, etc.

You ignorant gay lying faggot slut.

snicker

--

FNVWe:
"The Man Who Spanked Chimpy Checkmate The Cowardly CockSmoker Out Of
AUK, Then Out Of The Flonk, Then Into Insanity, Then Made Him Run Away
Like A Little Spankard Bitch. Again."

In which Checkmate admits to being a faggot and fantasizing about men:
MID:
MID:

In which Checkmate says he wants to spank guys all night long:
MID:

In which Checkmate confesses his desire to **** who he claims is a
guy:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:

In which Checkmate admits he'd definitely **** a male dog:
MID:
MID:
MID:

In which Checkmate admits to having a golden showers fetish:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:

In which Checkmate asks a guy for a blowjob (again):
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:

Checkmate's got a thing about tickling guy's asses with random
objects:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:

Checkmate's so gay he repeatedly insists that a picture of a vagina is
actually an asshole and balls... he went on and on about assholes and
balls... couldn't shut up about them... come to find out, he was just
trying to tell us that his lost love was actually a man:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:
MID:

Chimpy the neurotic overwrought hysterical hissy-fit ninny escalates
his prescription drug abuse to "calm the **** down" (Chimpy's words):
MID: - Oxy, Neurontin
MID: - Oxy, Vicodin
MID: - Norco
MID: - Vicodin
MID: - Oxycodone, Vicodin
MID: - Xanax
MID: - N2O
MID: - Vicodin
MID: - Vicodin
MID: - Marijuana
MID: - Vicodin
MID: - Amphetamine (!)
MID: - Vicodin
MID: - Vicodin
MID: - Ecstasy
MID: - Vicodin
MID: - Norco
MID: - Norco
MID: - N2O
MID: - N2O
MID: - Hydrocodone,
Alprazolam
MID: - Percocet
MID: - Kratom

Chimpy Checkmate's Famous Faggotisms:
=====================================
Chimpy tries enticing a straight man who lives with a woman to join
him in his lonely faggoty lifestyle:
Message-ID:
"How about I put the squirrel up your ass to keep your gerbil
company?"

Chimpy's desperate plea to a dude:
MID:
"Diddle me!"

MID:
"Trojans are a condiment."

Chimpy discusses his new boyfriend, Dave "SnuhWolf" Norris:
MID:
"Snuhbaby makes a good cock warmer."

MID:
"Pack your donut hole, any time, anywhere!"

Chimpy discussing the relative merits of 4 inches versus 10 inches:
MID:
"Plus, I suppose it doesn't hurt as much when they stuff it up your
butt."

MID:
"Best you keester a kielbasa."

Message-ID:
"Brag about it to my dick."
"My dick can't quite hear you, could you come a little closer?"

MID:
"If you see a dick, suck it."

MID:
"The Winchester 1892 would make a damned-good dildo."

MID:
"Pump a rump."

MID:
"You gerbils are always in the dark."

MID:
MID:
"I gotta gay named Guido from Jersey"

MID:
"If they're soft, yer probably blowin' it all wrong."

MID:
"Hitler would have made a damned good Queen."

MID:
"Don't get slapped by the cocks you crave."

MID:
To a nearly toothless man:
"I wouldn't pay you to suck my dick if your last tooth fell out."
So Chimpy prefers paying *nearly* toothless men for blowjobs, but not
*fully* toothless men. LOL

MID:
"If I send you some money, will you suck Greg's dick?"
Chimpy likes to watch. LOL

MID:
"Suck my clit."
Chimpy's proposition to a tranny sucking faggot who gets around being
gay by claiming tranny cocks are 'huge dangling clits'. LOL

Chimpy is confused again: "giant ball-like labia". LOL
MID:
=====================================

What a FAG!

Melt, Chimpy, melt.
Froth, Chimpy, froth.
Dance, Chimpy, dance!

snicker

/\ Properly known as Bill
\ /\ The Monster You Kooks Can't Handle
\ / \ THERE IS NO CABAL - LONG LIVE THE NEW CABAL
\/ The AUK coup is complete. The Old Cabal is no more.

Accept no substitutes...
if it's from Databasix, it's a sure bet it's from a kook.

databasix.com / PacketDerm, LLC / COTSE:
all branches of the same malignant tree.

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