OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

On Jan 19, 3:59*am, The Daring Dufas
wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

Torture tool s for wood.

Jimmie

On Jan 19, 2:59*am, The Daring Dufas
wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

One says Varathane, I bet tools to distress wood to give it the
antique look, you know, " its 300 years old and I paid 10,000$ but the
Antique Roadshow guy said its worth 50 bucks"

On Jan 19, 2:59*am, The Daring Dufas
wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

The link says "distress" so people pay for nuts and bolts-junk to hit
wood and make it look old!

On Jan 19, 5:59*am, ransley wrote:
On Jan 19, 2:59*am, The Daring Dufas
wrote:

OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

One says Varathane, I bet tools to distress wood to give it the
antique look, you know, " its 300 years old and I paid 10,000$ but the
Antique Roadshow guy said its worth 50 bucks"

yup, tools to distress wood

http://www.woodcraft.com/Product/208...ssing-Kit.aspx

The Daring Dufas wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

Darn it, you guys are no fun, I wanted some imagination!

TDD

The Daring Dufas wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

OK, I didn't look ahead to see any answers, but I'll say they are for
making wood look old and beat up. A buddy that makes original style
farm tables had a big key ring, about 4" diameter or more with all kinds
of stuff on it. This guy made some nice tables out of old pine from
barns and attic floors. Twenty five inch wide pine boards. Wood you
can't buy today. Even square pegs in round holes. He wholesaled them
for about $2500 to $3500 and the buyer sold them for twice the price in NY.

On 1/19/2010 9:23 PM Tony spake thus:

The Daring Dufas wrote:

OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

OK, I didn't look ahead to see any answers, but I'll say they are for
making wood look old and beat up. A buddy that makes original style
farm tables had a big key ring, about 4" diameter or more with all kinds
of stuff on it. This guy made some nice tables out of old pine from
barns and attic floors. Twenty five inch wide pine boards. Wood you
can't buy today. Even square pegs in round holes. He wholesaled them
for about $2500 to $3500 and the buyer sold them for twice the price in NY.

Ackshhooly, "distressing" wooden pieces to make them look older isn't
some new thing invented to try to fool the rubes in New Yawk, or
anywhere else, into thinking that something's really old. It's been done
all along by furniture makers (even violin makers, for that matter)
who wanted to give their work an instant old look. There's even quite a
bit of art in this process.

Of course, the average lunk who buys these ready-made tools isn't going
to come up with anything that would fool anybody. And it's a bit, well,
distressing to see the lack of imagination that would drive anybody to
buy such tools, when anyone can come up with their own wood torture
devices by just rooting around their scrap pile or bucket of old nails.

A good distressing job takes a lot of subtlety and, of course, variation
to make it believable.


--
You were wrong, and I'm man enough to admit it.

- a Usenet "apology"

Tony wrote:
The Daring Dufas wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

OK, I didn't look ahead to see any answers, but I'll say they are for
making wood look old and beat up. A buddy that makes original style
farm tables had a big key ring, about 4" diameter or more with all kinds
of stuff on it. This guy made some nice tables out of old pine from
barns and attic floors. Twenty five inch wide pine boards. Wood you
can't buy today. Even square pegs in round holes. He wholesaled them
for about $2500 to $3500 and the buyer sold them for twice the price in NY.

I know what they are, I was trying to get people to use their
imagination and warped minds to come up with funny answers. I
am so disappointed. *snicker*

TDD

On Jan 19, 2:59*am, The Daring Dufas
wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

The pointed one is for a bad case of the crabs (if you're good with it
you can stab 16 at once!)
The other is for removing shanker scabs!

David Nebenzahl wrote:
On 1/19/2010 9:23 PM Tony spake thus:

The Daring Dufas wrote:

OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

OK, I didn't look ahead to see any answers, but I'll say they are for
making wood look old and beat up. A buddy that makes original style
farm tables had a big key ring, about 4" diameter or more with all
kinds of stuff on it. This guy made some nice tables out of old pine
from barns and attic floors. Twenty five inch wide pine boards. Wood
you can't buy today. Even square pegs in round holes. He wholesaled
them for about $2500 to $3500 and the buyer sold them for twice the
price in NY.

Ackshhooly, "distressing" wooden pieces to make them look older isn't
some new thing invented to try to fool the rubes in New Yawk, or
anywhere else, into thinking that something's really old. It's been done
all along by furniture makers (even violin makers, for that matter) who
wanted to give their work an instant old look. There's even quite a bit
of art in this process.


Just for the record, I know it's not new, and he wasn't trying to fool
anyone. He even put a brief history of the actual building/s of where
the wood came from on parchment type paper and glued it to the bottom of
the table.



Of course, the average lunk who buys these ready-made tools isn't going
to come up with anything that would fool anybody. And it's a bit, well,
distressing to see the lack of imagination that would drive anybody to
buy such tools, when anyone can come up with their own wood torture
devices by just rooting around their scrap pile or bucket of old nails.

A good distressing job takes a lot of subtlety and, of course, variation
to make it believable.

Without a doubt.

The Daring Dufas wrote:
Tony wrote:
The Daring Dufas wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

OK, I didn't look ahead to see any answers, but I'll say they are for
making wood look old and beat up. A buddy that makes original style
farm tables had a big key ring, about 4" diameter or more with all
kinds of stuff on it. This guy made some nice tables out of old pine
from barns and attic floors. Twenty five inch wide pine boards. Wood
you can't buy today. Even square pegs in round holes. He wholesaled
them for about $2500 to $3500 and the buyer sold them for twice the
price in NY.

I know what they are, I was trying to get people to use their
imagination and warped minds to come up with funny answers. I
am so disappointed. *snicker*


Sorry to disappoint you.

Bob Villa wrote:
On Jan 19, 2:59 am, The Daring Dufas
wrote:
OK, what are they?

http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/upl...1/distress.jpg

A back scratcher and massager for a rhinoceros?

The latest S&M gadgets?

What was used at Gitmo?

TDD

The pointed one is for a bad case of the crabs (if you're good with it
you can stab 16 at once!)
The other is for removing shanker scabs!

Ya see! That's what I'm talking about! Imagination.

TDD