WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.

It's recommended that you do not send any Christmas Cards, unless they
have been treated with an approved fire retardent material, and the
cards have the U.L. sticker on them. If you receive Christmas cards
in the mail, DO NOT bring them into your home. Check them outdoors to
see if they have the U.L. sticker on them. If not, dispose of them in
a fireproof metal trash container immediately.

Christmas cards are made from a flammable material known as paper.
According to MSDS fact sheets, paper is classified as a highly
flammable material. Do not allow this material in your home unless
it's been treated with a flame-proof substance.

If you must bring one of these non-flame treated cards inside your
home, place them inside a solid metal fireproof container and keep
away from heat and flame. Do not remove the card from this box inside
the home at any time. Take the container outdoors in an area that
does not contain any flammable materials before opening the container.

Consumer Alert Station

wrote:
WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.

It's recommended that you do not send any Christmas Cards, unless they
have been treated with an approved fire retardent material, and the
cards have the U.L. sticker on them. If you receive Christmas cards
in the mail, DO NOT bring them into your home. Check them outdoors to
see if they have the U.L. sticker on them. If not, dispose of them in
a fireproof metal trash container immediately.

Christmas cards are made from a flammable material known as paper.
According to MSDS fact sheets, paper is classified as a highly
flammable material. Do not allow this material in your home unless
it's been treated with a flame-proof substance.

If you must bring one of these non-flame treated cards inside your
home, place them inside a solid metal fireproof container and keep
away from heat and flame. Do not remove the card from this box inside
the home at any time. Take the container outdoors in an area that
does not contain any flammable materials before opening the container.

Consumer Alert Station
lolololololol

wrote in message ...

VERY GOOD!! Minor spelling corrected so the fellers won't get yelled at after forwarding to their grade school teacher... :O)

WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZARD.

It's recommended that you do not send any Christmas Cards, unless they have been treated with an approved fire retardant material, and the cards have the U.L. sticker on them. If you receive Christmas cards in the mail, DO NOT bring them into your home. Check them outdoors to see if they have the U.L. sticker on them. If not, dispose of them in a fireproof metal trash container immediately.

Christmas cards are made from a flammable material known as paper. According to MSDS fact sheets, paper is classified as a highly flammable material. Do not allow this material in your home unless it's been treated with a flame-proof substance.

If you must bring one of these non-flame treated cards inside your home, place them inside a solid metal fireproof container and keep away from heat and flame. Do not remove the card from this box inside the home at any time. Take the container outdoors in an area that does not contain any flammable materials before opening the container.

Consumer Alert Station

While this is very funny, it's sad to think that what caused this type of
joke is the fact that we've allowed such paranoia to infiltrate our lives.
And yes, WE are the one who did it by allowing it. There are many, many
examples of product warnings that are legitimate, and just as rediculous as
this one.


s


wrote in message
...
WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.

It's recommended that you do not send any Christmas Cards, unless they
have been treated with an approved fire retardent material, and the
cards have the U.L. sticker on them. If you receive Christmas cards
in the mail, DO NOT bring them into your home. Check them outdoors to
see if they have the U.L. sticker on them. If not, dispose of them in
a fireproof metal trash container immediately.

Christmas cards are made from a flammable material known as paper.
According to MSDS fact sheets, paper is classified as a highly
flammable material. Do not allow this material in your home unless
it's been treated with a flame-proof substance.

If you must bring one of these non-flame treated cards inside your
home, place them inside a solid metal fireproof container and keep
away from heat and flame. Do not remove the card from this box inside
the home at any time. Take the container outdoors in an area that
does not contain any flammable materials before opening the container.

Consumer Alert Station

In article ,
"Steve Barker" wrote:

While this is very funny, it's sad to think that what caused this type of
joke is the fact that we've allowed such paranoia to infiltrate our lives.
And yes, WE are the one who did it by allowing it. There are many, many
examples of product warnings that are legitimate, and just as rediculous as
this one.

I've got a whole string of these Christmas related things. One is a
waiver Santa has to sign releiving me of responsibility for
weight-related heatlh problems if I give him cookies, etc. etc. etc.
Sad commentary.

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:35:06 -0600,
wrote:

WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.


[snip]

Also...

Multiple studies have shown that 100% of cancer victims have been
exposed to a dangerous chemical known as dihydrogen oxide sometime in
their lives. This chemical, used in many industrial processes, should
be banned.

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:38:37 -0600, "Steve Barker"
wrote:

While this is very funny, it's sad to think that what caused this type of
joke is the fact that we've allowed such paranoia to infiltrate our lives.
And yes, WE are the one who did it by allowing it. There are many, many
examples of product warnings that are legitimate, and just as rediculous as
this one.


[snip]

This year, I'm noticing that every new string of holiday lights comes
with four or five stickers on the cord. They're all hard to remove,
except the one you might really want to keep on there.

There's a little bag of extra bulbs and fuses, and some have
extraneous twisters wrapped around them (and they often come out MORE
tangled than last year's lights I store with no twisters). There's the
box and 1 or 2 useless additional bits of paper or plastic (just to
make them look good IN THE BOX). Maybe even all in a plastic bag
within the box.

I always have a lot of trash to put out after thanksgiving (after
putting out holiday lights).
--
27 days until the winter solstice celebration

Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.laughingsquid.com

"Never underestimate the power of stupid
people in large groups"

In article ,
Harry wrote:

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:35:06 -0600,
wrote:

WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.


[snip]

Also...

Multiple studies have shown that 100% of cancer victims have been
exposed to a dangerous chemical known as dihydrogen oxide sometime in
their lives. This chemical, used in many industrial processes, should
be banned.

Actually it has been unequivocably proven that laboratory rats cause
cancer.

Harry wrote:
On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:35:06 -0600,
wrote:

WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.


[snip]

Also...

Multiple studies have shown that 100% of cancer victims have been
exposed to a dangerous chemical known as dihydrogen oxide sometime in
their lives. This chemical, used in many industrial processes, should
be banned.


They have also drank milk. Milk should be banned. And cotton. They have
all worn cotton at one time or another. Cotton should be banned.

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:31:35 -0500, Kurt Ullman
wrote:

In article ,
Harry wrote:

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:35:06 -0600,
wrote:

WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.


[snip]

Also...

Multiple studies have shown that 100% of cancer victims have been
exposed to a dangerous chemical known as dihydrogen oxide sometime in
their lives. This chemical, used in many industrial processes, should
be banned.

Actually it has been unequivocably proven that laboratory rats cause
cancer.

Somewhere, I seem to have heard of a chemical that DOESN'T cause
cancer. Have you heard of that?
--
26 days until the winter solstice celebration

Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.laughingsquid.com

"Never underestimate the power of stupid
people in large groups"

"Mark Lloyd" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:31:35 -0500, Kurt Ullman
wrote:

In article ,
Harry wrote:

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:35:06 -0600,
wrote:

WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.


[snip]

Also...

Multiple studies have shown that 100% of cancer victims have been
exposed to a dangerous chemical known as dihydrogen oxide sometime in
their lives. This chemical, used in many industrial processes, should
be banned.

Actually it has been unequivocably proven that laboratory rats cause
cancer.

Somewhere, I seem to have heard of a chemical that DOESN'T cause
cancer. Have you heard of that?

Yes, but the paper you read it on causes cancer ;^)

Eric Law

In article ,
Mark Lloyd wrote:


Somewhere, I seem to have heard of a chemical that DOESN'T cause
cancer. Have you heard of that?

That came out of the same lab that said they had acheived cold fusion
(g).

No problemo, I can get you all of the counterfeit UL seal you want straight
from China. They are especially nice looking on household extension cords.
They make such a lovely shade of dancing + yellow when they burn then set
fire to your X-mas tree. Gosh you are right, better keep those X-mas cards
in a metal explosion proof chemical locker.

Hugh Cares


wrote in message
...
WARNING

Christmas Cards are a serious FIRE HAZZARD.

It's recommended that you do not send any Christmas Cards, unless they
have been treated with an approved fire retardent material, and the
cards have the U.L. sticker on them. If you receive Christmas cards
in the mail, DO NOT bring them into your home. Check them outdoors to
see if they have the U.L. sticker on them. If not, dispose of them in
a fireproof metal trash container immediately.

Christmas cards are made from a flammable material known as paper.
According to MSDS fact sheets, paper is classified as a highly
flammable material. Do not allow this material in your home unless
it's been treated with a flame-proof substance.

If you must bring one of these non-flame treated cards inside your
home, place them inside a solid metal fireproof container and keep
away from heat and flame. Do not remove the card from this box inside
the home at any time. Take the container outdoors in an area that
does not contain any flammable materials before opening the container.

Consumer Alert Station

http://www.dhmo.org/

:-)

--

Mike S.

"Harry" wrote in message
...

Multiple studies have shown that 100% of cancer victims have been
exposed to a dangerous chemical known as dihydrogen oxide sometime in
their lives. This chemical, used in many industrial processes, should
be banned.

In article ,
"Stormin Mormon" wrote:

I guess, as a former volunteer fire fighter, I should mention that paper is
combustible, not flammable. It has a flash point higher than 100 farenheit
degrees.

I gave up making that distinction outside of court, the firehouse,
or training 20+ years ago (g). In public, "it burns" is about as deep as
I got.

In article ,
"Stormin Mormon" wrote:

Please post them to this list.

I moved these from old computer to new over the year and this is the
one I could find right off. As (if) I find others, I;ll post 'em.



Christmas Cookie Liability and Indemnification Agreement


Santa Claus, AKA Kris Kringle, AKA Jolly Old St. Nick (hereinafter
referred to as "Santa") acknowledges receipt of Christmas cookies from
______________________ (hereinafter referred to as "Baker").

Santa acknowledges and understands that no warranty, either expressed or
implied, is made by Baker as to the nutritional content of cookies. This
document is offered to duly warn Santa that dangerous conditions, risks,
and hazards may result from over-consumption of cookies. Santa is hereby
informed that cookies may contain any of the following: calories,
carbohydrates, sodium (salt), fat, saturated fat, trans fat,
polyunsaturated fat, monounsaturated fat, nuts, sugar, caffeine, and
good cheer. Santa acknowledges that eating way too many cookies may
incur risks including, but not limited to, satiation, indigestion, heart
burn, dizziness, laziness, heart disease, holiday spirit, "food coma,"
and "that bloated feeling."

As consideration for accepting Baker's cookies, Santa indemnifies Baker
from all liability for injury or other harm (including obesity) which
may be caused, in whole or in part, by said "too many" cookies. Santa
agrees that neither he, nor his heirs or personal representatives will
sue Baker for any injury suffered, in whole or in part, as a consequence
of binging on cookies. Santa assumes full responsibility and will
indemnify Baker for any damages in the event that he transfers cookies
to any third party (including, but not limited to, potential claimants
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph,
Mrs. Claus, and various elves).

This indemnification includes an agreement not to haul Baker into court
on the basis of:

1. Failure to provide nutrition information and a list of ingredients
(the "Grandma's secret recipe" clause);
2. Failure to caution of the potential for overeating because cookies
taste too good and are provided at no cost;
3. Failure to advise that walking, biking, and jogging will shed
pounds, but riding around on a sleigh will not;
4. Failure to warn that Christmas lights, lawn ornaments (plastic
reindeer, snowmen, etc.) and other holiday decorations may constitute
manipulative marketing to lure Santa into over-consumption.
5. Failure to offer "healthier" cookie alternatives (e.g., tofu bars);
6. Failure to counsel that cookies may be habit-forming and/or
irresistible; and
7. Failure to notify that eating way too many cookies may lead to
even greater levels of obesity for St. Nick (the "Sanity Clause").

SANTA HAS READ THIS DOCUMENT AND UNDERSTANDS IT. SANTA IS SIGNING IT
FREELY AND VOLUNTARILY.

SANTA: ___________________________ DATE:__________________

In article , Stormin Mormon wrote:
I guess, as a former volunteer fire fighter, I should mention that paper is
combustible, not flammable. It has a flash point higher than 100 farenheit
degrees.

The same is true of kerosene! Officially, kerosene is combustible and
not flammable!

- Don Klipstein )